Frequently when a person is physically ill or sustains an injury, he has an enforced solitude. For many people, this loneliness causes more suffering than the actual pain of the illness or injury.
If, however, such a person will utilize his time properly, he will be able to gain much from the experience. He can spend his time studying things he had never previously found the time to study (especially listening to cassette tapes). He can build up a close relationship with one or a few people, that he would not have been able to had he not been incapacitated. Or he can try to utilize the phone for charitable work.
The crucial factor is your attitude. Despair over loneliness will increase the suffering. Looking at the time available as a precious gift will decrease it.
(Alai Shur, vol.1, p.252; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.240)
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About the Author
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Rabbi Zelig Pliskin is a noted psychologist and prolific author of 24 books, including Guard Your Tongue, Gateway to Happiness, Gateway to Self Knowledge, Love Your Neighbor, Growth Through Torah, The Power of Words, Consulting the Wise, and the recent Life is Now. Rabbi Pliskin lives in Jerusalem, and is the director of Aish HaTorah's Counseling Center and a senior lecturer at Aish's Essentials program and the Executive Learning Center. He was ordained at the Telshe Yeshiva in Ohio and holds a degree in Counseling Psychology.
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(1) Anonymous, October 2, 2012 7:04 AM
I have done these things and I am still unhappy
Yes, I have read practically every book I want to read from the public library as well as the religious libraries in town. I have listened to every tape that was on my level from the aish and kollel libraries. I have a few close relationships, but on Shabbos and Yom Tov I am stuck at home by myself and yes someone does arrange a visitor to come by for a half hour to one hour a day to visit me but the visitors are usually not people I can confide in or want to and sometimes are self-centered and just talk about what they want to talk about or to hear their own voice and I think many are doing it for an easy mitzvah. I am very lonely. I have one friend that visits me during the week sometimes but she works full time and often overtime and can't always come. I am so very lonely. Most of my friends have very limited time to talk to me (they have families and husbands). I am at my wits end. I don't know what to do any more. I dread every Shabbos and Yom Tov because they are definitely the worst times of the week and year for me. You've obviously never been in this situation or in it for a long time. Try giving more realistic advice for someone who's been here for years. And I hate using the phone for charitable work. I've done phone soliciting and I hate it. Any more suggestions?