Develop the habit of seeing other people as they see themselves. All anger, hatred and quarrels arise simply because a person views the situation from his own perspective, and fails to see the viewpoint of the other person.
For example, if a poor person asks someone who is wealthy for financial assistance, the wealthy person might view the request as insolence and become angry. The poor person feels insulted and perplexed. He thinks to himself, "The Almighty has given him so much, why doesn't he share what he has with me?" They separate from each other with a quarrel and mutual bad feelings. If each would try to understand the position of the other, however, even though they still might not agree, the majority of conflicts and complications that arise in interpersonal relationships could be avoided.
The next time you find yourself in a potential quarrel with another person, view the situation from his perspective also. Then step out of the picture and try to view the situation objectively as if a third party was viewing both of you. Notice the difference that this makes!
(see Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler - Michtav MaiEliyahu,
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