When you find yourself in a conflict with someone, focus on finding solutions. This is in contrast to thinking and speaking in terms of blaming.
The question to ask yourself whenever you find yourself in a conflict is, "What can I say or do that might be a solution to this situation?"
In the vast majority of situations, refraining from blaming prevents a situation from getting worse. And then your mind is more likely to be free to think of potential solutions.
(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: Harmony with Others, p.21, www.artscroll.com)
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