What is the most important rule for dealing with problems? I believe it is to keep your main focus on finding solutions. This one piece of advice makes a major difference in every life situation - and especially in marriage.
When the major focus is on the problem, a couple can get into the totally counterproductive argument of, "Whose fault was it?" or, "Even if we are both to blame, who started, or who is more to blame?"
The way a couple discusses a problem can even lead to a bigger problem than the original problem itself! It is much wiser to focus on, "What can we do now to find a solution?"
(From Rabbi Pliskin's book entitled "Marriage" -
ArtScroll Publications, 1998, Chapter One, p.47)
NEW BOOK!
Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's new book has just been published by Artscroll:
SELF-CONFIDENCE:
Formulas, Stories, and Insights.
Self-confidence allows you to create goals -- and reach them. It lets you learn from your failures -- and move on to triumphs. It helps you
transform your potential into real achievement. With the help of Rabbi Zelig Pliskin, you will gain that self-confidence.
Rabbi Zelig Pliskin is the author of 25 books with his specialty in mastering happiness and other positive inner resources.
His last 15 books include: "Taking Action", "Happiness", "Kindness", "Courage", "Serenity", "Building Your Self-image" "Conversations with
Yourself" and "Marriage." These books are available at: Artscroll.com.
About the Author
More by this Author >
Rabbi Zelig Pliskin is a noted psychologist and prolific author of 24 books, including Guard Your Tongue, Gateway to Happiness, Gateway to Self Knowledge, Love Your Neighbor, Growth Through Torah, The Power of Words, Consulting the Wise, and the recent Life is Now. Rabbi Pliskin lives in Jerusalem, and is the director of Aish HaTorah's Counseling Center and a senior lecturer at Aish's Essentials program and the Executive Learning Center. He was ordained at the Telshe Yeshiva in Ohio and holds a degree in Counseling Psychology.
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