One way to build up a positive mental data base about your
spouse is to compose an "appreciation list."
Every time your spouse says or does something you appreciate write it down. Then keep rereading your list. As you focus on the positive actions of your spouse, you will notice things that you previously had taken for granted and overlooked. Moreover, your positive feelings will create an atmosphere in which your spouse will say and do more positive things!
(From Rabbi Pliskin's book entitled "Marriage" - ArtScroll
Publications, 1998, Chapter Two, p.94)
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