Some people complain they are not appreciated for what they do for others. This is a concealed form of approval-seeking. While it is normal to want to feel appreciated, to demand appreciation is to cause yourself suffering.
Anyone can do kindness for honor. It is a mark of an elevated person to do kindness when he knows he will not receive any praise in return. Instead of telling yourself, "How awful that my hard work is not appreciated," tell yourself, "I can take pleasure in knowing that I help others even though they do not express proper appreciation."
(Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.284)
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Appreciation
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About the Author
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Rabbi Zelig Pliskin is a noted psychologist and prolific author of 24 books, including Guard Your Tongue, Gateway to Happiness, Gateway to Self Knowledge, Love Your Neighbor, Growth Through Torah, The Power of Words, Consulting the Wise, and the recent Life is Now. Rabbi Pliskin lives in Jerusalem, and is the director of Aish HaTorah's Counseling Center and a senior lecturer at Aish's Essentials program and the Executive Learning Center. He was ordained at the Telshe Yeshiva in Ohio and holds a degree in Counseling Psychology.