When you want to comfort and encourage someone who is brokenhearted and discouraged, do not just act dryly, saying the correct words but without your soul being involved. Do not just mutter platitudes and the standards formulas that people use in these situations.
Rather, comfort them with the completeness of your heart and with your entire soul. Your inner love should be manifest in a sincere smile and manner of speech. Fill your heart with enough love and kindness that these attributes will overflow. Only then will you be successful in alleviating the bitterness and depression.
Next time someone needs comforting, focus on these points and see the difference that it makes.
(see Rabbi Chaim Zaitchyk - Maayanai Hachaim, vol.3, pp.9-10; Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise")