Maintaining love and respect when our spouse doesn't talk to us the way we wish is difficult. Maintaining love and respect when we feel unloved or disrespected is exceedingly difficult.
We all want to be loved and respected. This is a basic and universal need. Responding to a lack of love and respect with anger, resentment, animosity, and hatred is likely to increase these qualities in the other person. This will then increase the probability that you'll be on the receiving end of more of what you don't want!
If, however, we can transcend ourselves and reflect sincere love and respect - even to someone who lacks these feelings towards us, we increase the chances of receiving what we do want. This wisdom is found in Proverbs 27:19: "As water reflects a face back to a face, so one's heart is reflected back by another."
What would you like to see reflected back to you when you look in a pond? A smile or a frown? It's your choice. Whatever you wish to see, that is the model of what you need to project. This is the secret of how to influence someone to feel more positive towards you.
(From Rabbi Pliskin's book entitled "Marriage" - ArtScroll Publications, 1998, Chapter Two, p.91)