Nasty or Nice?

by Mrs. Lori Palatnik

Winning our kids over with love.

Published: March 1, 2008

Lori Almost Live Archive

Sponsor an episode of Lori Almost Live. Click here to find out more.

Give Tzedakah! Help Aish.com create inspiring
articles, videos and blogs featuring timeless Jewish wisdom.

Visitor Comments: 17

(17) Elam, March 30, 2008 10:14 PM

You have a new fan Lori...my wife watched this one with me.

We have a fourteen year-old son who is not a morning person. We have both dreaded climbing the stairs to his room on occasion. After listening to your wisdom, I tried it on him. Wow! How could we have been so out of tune. You are a treasure Lori. Thank you so much for rminding us of who we are.

(16) gilie grant, March 14, 2008 9:54 PM

So out there

Thanks so much Lori, this is beautiful am going to incorporate this into my life. gilly

(15) mom, March 7, 2008 6:45 PM

wow!

I am soooo very proud to have you as my daughter! What a lovely way to keep love in our hearts when those we love can be so challenging!

(14) Andria, March 6, 2008 7:12 PM

Wonderful advice

Thank you for being so real..and for sharing your experiences and wisdom.

(13) andrew, March 6, 2008 1:03 PM

Your advices are great Lori. Thank you so much!

(12) Joey, March 6, 2008 8:58 AM

And yet...

I know a few people who do not seem to respond much to kindness; when people are in a bad mood, often acting nice towards them seems to only annoy them more. Which is not to say that Ms. Palatnik's advice is bad, just that, on a few occasions, it does not seem to work.

God bless.

(11) Shoshana, March 4, 2008 7:00 PM

Best advice

I wish I had heard your advice many years ago!

(10) Mara, March 4, 2008 4:38 PM

You always seem to be making the world a better place very simpley... it amazes me!
Thank you

(9) thomas eby, March 4, 2008 4:29 PM

That did it!

I am a man of 72 years and I still remember the problem our mother had getting her boys up for school. She has six boys and one daughter. The daughter was very well grounded and strong in her beliefs. We boys were a bit different than that.

To get us out of bed mom would pour a bit of cold water in any face that did not get up after first call. We never got angry for we loved her deeply. When we did something that was out of order she would have us pray then and there that we would do better. Our dad was an alcoholic and mom as an RN had to work all her life to support us. She was very religious and loved life and her children. I must say there was not much contention in our household which was very poor. We were the usual boys with the usual temperment of boys but we never did anything to go against our mom. I think we were unusual in that. We seldom fought as brothers but were fiercely protective of one another. We grew to be the way we are today with all siblings still living ranging in age from 69 to 81 and still have all the traits our mother taught us about our faith and life. We never saw our mother get angry with us and that is because of the way she brought us up. That did it for us.

(8) beth guterman, March 4, 2008 1:39 PM

You take the Cake

Your enthsuaistic, loving, positive, intelligent words ispire us all. Thank you!!

(7) Jackie Haeems(India), March 4, 2008 9:45 AM

Really well spoken.

I have forwarded your advice to my son , as he has a problem of being calm with his naughty and active children. I am sure he will will change his ways of dealing with them. Thanks.

(6) Anton Zanesco, March 4, 2008 9:09 AM

regarding Kindness

as allways , you seem to put everything
into simple terms . love and kindness.
what a concept , what a powerfull way
to make this a better world .
to accept and love each other.
seems to me that this would be the real assurance to heal this world and
keep it healthy. with dialog based on
love. keep doing what you are doing , you are helping !

(5) Anonymous, March 4, 2008 9:03 AM

Mitzvah note book

Last year my son was quite a challenge at home. His teachers asked for mitzvah notes & so every day I conjured up something that I could put onto a mitzvah note. (Sometimes, if I came up blank I'd even ask him, "Which mitzvah would you like me to write about?) At the end of the school year, all of the notes were sent home. I had a pile of little peices of paper that I hated to throw out, so one late nite I transcribed them onto a single document. It is 17 pages long. And it reminded me of what a great kid he is. He still tests me, but this mitzvah book has helped me change my attitude & my reaction!

(4) Yishai, March 3, 2008 7:02 PM

Now I know...

How to wake my brother up for Shacharit! Thank you Lori, I'm sure he would thank you too because I was about to start pouring cold water on him in the morning to get him motivated. Thanks again and please keep em coming.

(3) Gitta, March 2, 2008 8:08 PM

Lori, thank you so much for putting things in perspective and reminding me about the important things in our life! I love your attitude!!

(2) Gavin-Chaim, March 2, 2008 6:16 PM

Nice To Yourself

Dear Lori
I think it is also important to treat yourself with kindness when you yourself are in a bad mood.Make yourself a cup of hot chocolate and read the comics.Nothing confuses the yetzer hara more then kindness and love and remember in order to love Hashem properly you have to love yourself properly-all aspects that is(PS-I am trying my best to practice what I preach but it takes work).Shavua Tov Lori and keep on shining that special light of warmth that you have.G-d Bless

(1) Anonymous, March 2, 2008 9:57 AM

wow :)

wow I really felt that. Lori your words always go straight to my heart.

See All Comments

stub

About the Author

Mrs. Lori Palatnik

More by this Author >

Lori Palatnik is a writer and Jewish educator who has appeared on television and radio, and is the author of "Friday Night and Beyond: The Shabbat Experience Step-By-Step," "Remember My Soul - What to do in Memory of a Loved One," and co-author of "Gossip: 10 Pathways to Eliminate It From Your Life and Transform Your Soul." She is a much sought-after international speaker, having lectured in the U.S., Canada, Mexico, U.K., Central America, South America, South Africa and Israel, including featured talks at Yale, Brown and Penn. She lives in the Washington D.C. area, with her husband, Rabbi Yaakov Palatnik. Lori is the Founder of The Jewish Women's Renaissance Project, an international initiative that brings over 1,000 women to Israel each year from ten different countries on highly subsidized programs to inspire them with the beauty and wisdom of their heritage. She is the busy mother of five children, ages 24 to 14; and her son, Zev, just finished serving as a sharpshooter in the IDF. Her weekly video blog, "Lori Almost Live" is a popular feature on aish.com, viewed by over 50,000 people each month.

Follow Lori on Twitter, @LoriAlmostLive

Nasty or Nice?

Winning our kids over with love.

Visitor Comments: 17

Submit Your Comment:

About the Author

Related Articles:

Most Popular In:

1.As a Jew in State Prison

2.This is Water

3.My Interfaith Marriage

4.Stop the Complaining

1.As a Jew in State Prison

2.Family Secrets

3.The Red Line

4.Genetic Screening for Breast Cancer Genes

Sponsors

Aish.com Features

LANGUAGES:

AFFILIATES:

SECTIONS:

EMAIL LISTS:

ABOUT:

FOLLOW US: