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Should We Have More Kids?

Making a decision you won't regret.

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Visitor Comments: 50

(50) Traci, May 15, 2009 2:45 AM

What's too far?

My husband and I have been blessed with 9 beautiful children. I have been struggling with whether we should have more, or not. I felt like Heavenly Father wanted to bless me with another child. My husband felt like we have been so blessed with 9, and never any miscarriages. Against my husband's better judgement, he conceded and allowed us to try for that one more baby I so strongly insisted our Father wanted to bless us with. I have now had 2 miscarriages in a row. I know I would never regret having another baby, but I'm beginning to regret having gone through the pain and heartbreak of losing 2 pregnancies. My husband, I now feel, was being wise, perhaps inspired, to end our child-bearing with a perfect record of 9 beautiful babies and no loss. I now feel like I should submit to my husband's feelings that we should be grateful for our beautiful children and end on a good note before we suffer a loss we are unable to handle. I think sometimes it's hard to distinguish between our own desire for something and our Father's will for us. It is truly a matter to be very prayerful about (both mother and father, individually and together) and to be very still and quiet so we can hear and accept the answer our Father has for us. Sometimes our desire for something can be shouting so loud at us, that we can't hear the answer our Heavenly Father is giving us.

(49) jane, May 3, 2009 10:02 AM

just because you say it doesn't make it true

Just because everyone repeats - "you never regret the child you have only the one you don't have" - it doesn't make it true. Plenty of people regret that "extra" child that strained their family finances, their time or marriage. It's not politically correct to regret a child, but you can regret the decision to have the child.

(48) Sarah, April 1, 2009 1:01 PM

To Laura Lee

Laura Lee, I think it's so important to be content and to find joy in what we "do" have. Not being able to conceive might be a blessing to you in disguise - a blessing that only G-d can know. G-d knows us better than we can know ourselves. He is ultimately in control and knows what is best. I wish G-d's blessings upon you, and I wish you happiness in whatever it is He choses to give you. :)

(47) Laura Lee, July 19, 2008 9:34 PM

You keep my hope alive

I am 38, married for 14 years with no attempts to prevent pregnancy. I miscarried 4 times and have not conceived not for another 3 years. My heart struggle has often been that of, "Should I yield, and just give up or so I continue to place Hannah, and Sarah before my mind, and believe that it is still promised. I love Psalms 113:9 which states "He makes the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children..." One of my friends in Jerusalem has placed a prayer at the wall for me, I pray all such prayers are answered, mine and the many others that carry this yearning to raise up a godly generation.
Thanks Lori for inspiring families.

(46) SusanE, July 16, 2008 3:52 PM

Another Comment and Another Post

Wonderful Subject and wonderful posts. Thank you Lori and all posters for your insights.
I was not a mothering, hugging type person when I was younger. No kids for me, thank you very much!
However, Oh My, there was this baby who was conceived! I loved him from the very moment I knew about him. I was so fulfilled and overjoyed, and happy, that the words can't explain the feeling.
I was 19 years old, living with my parents, and unmarried. No money, no education, no husband, I didn't work cause I was attending Business School. His Dad and I married two weeks later. We went straight into our own apartment. The following summer we had a beautiful baby boy.
We were poor and lived in a third story walkup with outside stairs for the first 2 years. We didn't even have a refrigerator for the first month. It was December and we kept milk and butter on the porch in a cooler. Mum taught me how to cook and keep house. It was hard for my husband and I and wonderful at the same time. We were working together.
Then he got a great job, and we moved into a house.
It was 10 years before I conceived again. This time she was a beautiful baby girl. Now they are two wonderful adults and I can't imagine the world without them in it.
I sometimes wish that I had 2 or 3 more babies in between. And now I know that it wouldn't have mattered if we had a few more. They would have been fed and clothed and very much loved.

If you think you want more children and you are young enough, then by all means have them........

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