Torah Reading: Be'halot'cha

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It Starts with You

by Mrs. Lori Palatnik

Don't become religious for someone else.

Published: July 5, 2008

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Visitor Comments: 13

(13) Sara, July 20, 2008 9:18 PM

We love you Lori!

It's awe-inspiring how you use your unique G-d given talents to benefit others. We all benefit tremendously and are continually inspired. Thank You!

(12) Yossi Fries, July 13, 2008 3:56 AM

Thank you for clarification

Dear Lori,
Thank you so much for having clarified me such an important thing.One has always to ask himself what his outlook is like an well as spiritual level before dating and not the other way around!

(11) S, July 12, 2008 4:13 PM

Thank you

great advice to not morph into the guy or become religious for him. i thought that way several times dating men and it didn't work out. it's true that you have to do it for yourself and know who you are. thanks again for another great message. i always enjoy listening to them.

(10) Anonymous, July 11, 2008 1:03 PM

GOOD SERMONETTES

Your short talks would make great insperational reading if they were published as a book. The topics are always pertinant and cover subjects we all "know" but need to be reminded of from time to time.

(9) Annette, July 11, 2008 8:29 AM

to Anonymous: in Rome do as the Romans do, Aliya Shaliach

mmm...ever heard of 'what you DO speaks so loud I can't hear what you say'?
what aish.com Aish HaTorah, and a few other wonderful jewish websites have DONE for SO MANY speaks volumes and they all say: go to Jerusalem
All jews and non jews who have gone to Jerusalem came back with the same report of awe, (my turn in 3 days!)
the last place on earth I would have wanted to go for Judaism is the U.S.
I would have been turned 'right off' had that been the advise
The Amalekites didn't want to dress like Canaanites, just 'sound' like them so they wouldn't 'become' like them, in Rome do as the Romans do,
but in Jerusalem do as the Jews do!
Where else really???

(8) Anonymous, July 11, 2008 8:06 AM

But what if you want to grow and your spouse doesn't

Lori talks about not becoming religious for another before marriage. But what happens when you become religious after years of marriage to someone who's more secular, and your spouse doesn't want to change, doesn't want to grow toward torah. Anyone else have some advice?

(7) Catherine Manna, July 10, 2008 8:43 PM

Good advise!

Lori,
Good advise!

(6) lee, July 8, 2008 10:44 PM

Hi Deborah, there are a few options of places to learn this summer in Israel. If you are at the beginning of your journey of judaism, Neve Yerushalayim is a wonderful place and has great classes for beginners. If you already keep shabbat and kashrut somewhat you have Neve Yerushalayim, Shearim, Midreshet Rachel and Eyaht.

(5) Anonymous, July 8, 2008 10:02 AM

Are you an Aliya Shaliach?

So many articles @AISH.COM are cooked in this same political broth. Can you please give it a rest. There are inspirational Jewish figures in almost every major city in the US from which to learn Torah. Advocating solutions which require travel to the other end of earth mix & confuse the goals of the speaker with the subject.

(4) deborah, July 8, 2008 6:01 AM

Israel

I would like to go to israel in august and study for 3 weeks, where can I do it? great video!, thanks.

(3) Rosen, July 7, 2008 1:05 AM

relationship correlations

Lori is right on again! Relationships and marriage are a matter of shared values. I feel that the front-reason to starting a relationship with someone is by a Jew marrying a Jew. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a non-Jew willing to convert to Judaism even if it is just for me, which is much too orchestrating.

Yes, I have been to Israel twice, and the first trip, when I visited Mt. Masada during my Birthright program, I then made the decision to find a Jew to eventually settle down with. Now, I'm hoping that I will find her over the natural course of time possibly thru the friends I know.

(2) Anonymous, July 6, 2008 4:50 AM

It is ALWAYS for someone else

I understand what you are suggesting and it is probably often good advice . . . however . . .
(1) Women were created to "receive" their cues from men. N'kaivah, a biblical word for woman, means receptacle. In other terms, the man is potential energy and the woman the kinetic. But a receptacle / reflection she is.

(2) Isn't it ALWAYS for someone else? Especially for a woman, but really for everyone. For my husband. For my future generations. For the world at large. For my Creator. I heard that the sages of the Talmud say a woman's reward for Torah learning is achieved, not through her learning, which certainly she can and must do, but rather through her facilitating her husband's and children's learning and particularly by showing its importance and primacy by sending them off to their places of learning and waiting for them to return.

(1) Alejandro, July 6, 2008 1:25 AM

This is not only a women issues

Hi.. I think that the same applies to guys...

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About the Author

Mrs. Lori Palatnik

More by this Author >

Lori Palatnik is a writer and Jewish educator who has appeared on television and radio, and is the author of "Friday Night and Beyond: The Shabbat Experience Step-By-Step," "Remember My Soul - What to do in Memory of a Loved One," and co-author of "Gossip: 10 Pathways to Eliminate It From Your Life and Transform Your Soul." She is a much sought-after international speaker, having lectured in the U.S., Canada, Mexico, U.K., Central America, South America, South Africa and Israel, including featured talks at Yale, Brown and Penn. She lives in the Washington D.C. area, with her husband, Rabbi Yaakov Palatnik. Lori is the Founder of The Jewish Women's Renaissance Project, an international initiative that brings over 1,000 women to Israel each year from ten different countries on highly subsidized programs to inspire them with the beauty and wisdom of their heritage. She is the busy mother of five children, ages 24 to 14; and her son, Zev, just finished serving as a sharpshooter in the IDF. Her weekly video blog, "Lori Almost Live" is a popular feature on aish.com, viewed by over 50,000 people each month.

Follow Lori on Twitter, @LoriAlmostLive

May 23, 2013 / 14 Sivan 5773

It Starts with You

Don't become religious for someone else.

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