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Don't become religious for someone else.
Published: Saturday, July 05, 2008
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Visitor Comments: 13
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(8) Anonymous , July 11, 2008
But what if you want to grow and your spouse doesn't
Lori talks about not becoming religious for another before marriage. But what happens when you become religious after years of marriage to someone who's more secular, and your spouse doesn't want to change, doesn't want to grow toward torah. Anyone else have some advice?
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(7) Catherine Manna , July 10, 2008
Good advise!
Lori,
Good advise! -
(6) lee , July 8, 2008
Hi Deborah, there are a few options of places to learn this summer in Israel. If you are at the beginning of your journey of judaism, Neve Yerushalayim is a wonderful place and has great classes for beginners. If you already keep shabbat and kashrut somewhat you have Neve Yerushalayim, Shearim, Midreshet Rachel and Eyaht.
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(5) Anonymous , July 8, 2008
Are you an Aliya Shaliach?
So many articles @AISH.COM are cooked in this same political broth. Can you please give it a rest. There are inspirational Jewish figures in almost every major city in the US from which to learn Torah. Advocating solutions which require travel to the other end of earth mix & confuse the goals of the speaker with the subject.
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(4) deborah , July 8, 2008
Israel
I would like to go to israel in august and study for 3 weeks, where can I do it? great video!, thanks.
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(3) Rosen , July 7, 2008
relationship correlations
Lori is right on again! Relationships and marriage are a matter of shared values. I feel that the front-reason to starting a relationship with someone is by a Jew marrying a Jew. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a non-Jew willing to convert to Judaism even if it is just for me, which is much too orchestrating.
Yes, I have been to Israel twice, and the first trip, when I visited Mt. Masada during my Birthright program, I then made the decision to find a Jew to eventually settle down with. Now, I'm hoping that I will find her over the natural course of time possibly thru the friends I know. -
(2) Anonymous , July 6, 2008
It is ALWAYS for someone else
I understand what you are suggesting and it is probably often good advice . . . however . . .
(1) Women were created to "receive" their cues from men. N'kaivah, a biblical word for woman, means receptacle. In other terms, the man is potential energy and the woman the kinetic. But a receptacle / reflection she is.
(2) Isn't it ALWAYS for someone else? Especially for a woman, but really for everyone. For my husband. For my future generations. For the world at large. For my Creator. I heard that the sages of the Talmud say a woman's reward for Torah learning is achieved, not through her learning, which certainly she can and must do, but rather through her facilitating her husband's and children's learning and particularly by showing its importance and primacy by sending them off to their places of learning and waiting for them to return.
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(1) Alejandro , July 6, 2008
This is not only a women issues
Hi.. I think that the same applies to guys...
About the Author
Lori Palatnik

Lori Palatnik is an author and Jewish educator who has appeared on television and radio and has lectured on five continents, illuminating traditional practices and life-styles for our contemporary world. She and her husband, Rabbi Yaakov Palatnik, live in Washington, DC, where she is the Executive Director of The Jewish Women's Renaissance Project of Aish DC.
Lori is the author of "Friday Night and Beyond—The Shabbat Experience Step-by-Step"; "Remember My Soul", which explains the Jewish concepts of soul and the afterlife and a guide to anyone who has ever lost a loved one; and "Gossip—Ten Pathways to Eliminate It From Your Life and Transform Your Soul", featured on "Dr. Laura" and FoxNews.com.












(13) Sara , July 20, 2008
We love you Lori!
It's awe-inspiring how you use your unique G-d given talents to benefit others. We all benefit tremendously and are continually inspired. Thank You!
(12) Yossi Fries , July 13, 2008
Thank you for clarification
Dear Lori,
Thank you so much for having clarified me such an important thing.One has always to ask himself what his outlook is like an well as spiritual level before dating and not the other way around!
(11) S , July 12, 2008
Thank you
great advice to not morph into the guy or become religious for him. i thought that way several times dating men and it didn't work out. it's true that you have to do it for yourself and know who you are. thanks again for another great message. i always enjoy listening to them.
(10) Anonymous , July 11, 2008
GOOD SERMONETTES
Your short talks would make great insperational reading if they were published as a book. The topics are always pertinant and cover subjects we all "know" but need to be reminded of from time to time.
(9) Annette , July 11, 2008
to Anonymous: in Rome do as the Romans do, Aliya Shaliach
mmm...ever heard of 'what you DO speaks so loud I can't hear what you say'?
what aish.com Aish HaTorah, and a few other wonderful jewish websites have DONE for SO MANY speaks volumes and they all say: go to Jerusalem
All jews and non jews who have gone to Jerusalem came back with the same report of awe, (my turn in 3 days!)
the last place on earth I would have wanted to go for Judaism is the U.S.
I would have been turned 'right off' had that been the advise
The Amalekites didn't want to dress like Canaanites, just 'sound' like them so they wouldn't 'become' like them, in Rome do as the Romans do,
but in Jerusalem do as the Jews do!
Where else really???