Don't pretend the energy isn't there.

by Mrs. Lori Palatnik
In honour of L, who has helped me realize
every beautiful emotion imaginable
and for reminding me that being true to myself
will always get me everything I want in life,
however long it takes.

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Published: January 31, 2009

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Visitor Comments: 45

(45) clara amram, April 6, 2009 3:51 AM

Lori you speak in such a nice,practical and realistic way that it is a real pleasure to listen and to learn from you! Thank you very much for your wise advices

Dear Lori, You speak in such an easy,practical and realistic way that i could listen to you for hours.It is a real pleasure to learn form you. Thank you for your wise advices!Hag Sameah and all the best!

(44) James, February 28, 2009 2:40 PM

boy/girl platonic friendship is just that--friendship

I've been the close friend to many women over my 57 years of living and even though I've listened to many a problem and have "been there" many a times, I've never have been viewed by any of these women as being in something other than a friendship, even when asked by me or by someone else. I'm still friends with many of these women. I guess the philosophy is that when you finally find someone whom, not only can you trust with your most guarded self, and will be there for you whenever needed, why ruin it with a relationship?

(43) Gary Katz, February 19, 2009 8:04 AM

Different categories

Of course many platonic friendships involve one person having asymmetric feelings for the other. However, this "energy" tends to peter out, and the friendship evolves into purely platonic. Every case is different, naturally.

(42) Dvirah, February 11, 2009 9:42 AM

Just to clarify...(piqued a bit)

I see after reading more comments that the assumption is that for a platonic relationship the woman must be unattractive. It is not so - first, physical attaction does not always depend on classical or current standards of beauty and second,I've seen many cases of handsome and plain being attracted to each other enough to marry. I myself have had enough offers to know that I am not unattractive, so this man's "no" was not due to that cause!

(41) Dvirah, February 11, 2009 9:28 AM

Who jumps?

While I do not mean to dispute Lori's statement, I wish to tell of a time I did ask a male friend (not a boyfriend) if he wanted to take our relationship further romantically and he said "no" - so it does happen that not all men jump at the chance to be romantically involved with a woman they like platonically. We are "just friends" to this day - but are careful to keep a certain physical distance between us anyway.

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About the Author

Mrs. Lori Palatnik

Lori Palatnik is an author and Jewish educator who has appeared on television and radio and has lectured on five continents, illuminating traditional practices and life-styles for our contemporary world. She and her husband, Rabbi Yaakov Palatnik, live in Washington, DC, where she is Executive Director of the Jewish Women's Renaissance Project. Lori is the author of "Friday Night and Beyond—The Shabbat Experience Step-by-Step"; "Remember My Soul", which explains the Jewish concepts of soul and the afterlife and a guide to anyone who has ever lost a loved one; and "Gossip—Ten Pathways to Eliminate It From Your Life and Transform Your Soul", featured on "Dr. Laura" and FoxNews.com.

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