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Marriage Year One

It's the best and worst year of your marriage.

Published: June 12, 2010


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Visitor Comments: 16

(16) Anonymous, March 13, 2011 9:27 AM

Looks happy, really is hard!

I'm now up to year 10 and I feel like we are starting to get somewhere, really growing, and enjoying each other. Being married is Hard Work! I remember when I was married for a few months. Someone called me and said "You know, I met so and so and she told me she loves thinking about you. You are married to the right kind of guy, so caring, and you are living in Israel and living the life you wanted to live. You must be so happy!". I remember being so confused: they were right, I was living the exact life I wanted, and married to the perfect person for me, but I was NOT so happy. It takes a lot of hard work to be happy! Keep at it, effort does bear results, but don't expect it to come naturally. The first year is just the start of the process.

(15) Anonymous, November 24, 2010 12:52 AM

What a year!!!!!

I have recently celebrated my 1st yr anniversary with my wife. Marriage is more complicated than rocket science and any other complicated stuff you can think of!!! It was so rocky. We were both not sure if we would ever make it this far. No way! Hashem helped us. We have a rabbi and we used to go to a therapist but our money ran out. Therapy is so expensive! So we had to fight by ourselves. kinda funny but still... It's very hard to understand the other side when you don't listen. I think that people should seek a lot of advice and guidance before marriage and have a rabbi available on a weekly basis. And when you don't make an issue out of every tissue, you will live better. I am so happy we are still married. I really pray that our marriage gets better everyday because this past year was sometimes extremely difficult. May we all have the patience and understanding for our spouse and learn to live with them happily and with health for many peaceful years together. Hashem - Please help us all!!!

(14) Anonymous, July 20, 2010 4:20 AM

Thank You!

Oh my gosh.... Thank you!!!! I got married six months ago and some days are amazing, but some are such a struggle. I grew up with the honeymoon and roses view of the first year of marriage, and mine is not like that. Most of the time I feel so lucky that I am married at that I found my soulmate, and sometimes I feel like, "What am I doing?" I'm pretty young to be married (19 yrs. old) and sometimes I feel like I'm messing up. I'm glad to know that it's just something everyone goes through, and that it'll only get better from here. If my life turns into the good days without the awkward ones, I'll be thrilled!!!!!!

(13) Anonymous, June 23, 2010 6:49 PM

marriage and tikum O lam

I when I anticipate food, I pray no one should go hungry. When I contemplate marriage, I pray no one should be denied it. Starvation continues. Marriage remains a right not universally shared. Celebrating blessings like food or marriage feels better to me when I take a moment to consider how lucky some are and the work that remains for us to ensure no one is denied basic rights; like eating or getting married.

(12) Anonymous, June 17, 2010 8:08 AM

Finally got it right

Our eldest just got married. My husband and I worked very hard to give her (& also our son in law) the benefit of guidance and support we did not have when we got married. They are starting their married life on a much stronger foundation than we ever did. It took about 25 years, 4 kids, a lot of arguments and endless tears, but my husband and I finally got it right. The last 2 years of our marriage have been wonderful. Life is as stressful as ever (if not more so), but our relationship is solid, loving & respectful. It took a gifted therapist, a commitment to change & a willingness to give 100%. One of us had to initiate & it was tough to risk rejection, but you don't give up on a marriage without a fight. Unfortunately, my husband was diagnosed with cancer last week. His prognosis for recovery are good, but I cannot help but mourn all of the years that were wasted. We are now middle aged and fumbled through what could have been the best years of our marriage. Enjoy that first year, but more importantly, establish good & loving communication & healthy problem solving skills. The patterns you set that first year will last throughout the marriage. Most of all, cherish & appreciate the special time together. Marriage is like a bank account. The deposits you make have to tide you over for the "lean" times.

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