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Marriage Year One

It's the best and worst year of your marriage.

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Visitor Comments: 17

(17) Meira, May 8, 2014 8:15 AM


First two months of marriage were beautiful and lovely....and fake. We were tip-toeing around each other, trying not to upset the other, but not really relating. Once we were able to start communicating our needs and wants, we became closer. (I think that's what emotional intimacy is all about.)
Yes, many parts of that process were rough, and with a very tight budget, school, two jobs, and a health issue, I was way over my head. Baruch Hashem my husband has a head on his shoulders and knew what work marriage really takes and he guided both of us through that very rocky first year.

I am so glad it's over, but at the same time, most of my fondest memories are from that year. It's extremely intense and exhilarating and painful all at the same time. And if you pull through, speak to a mentor as often as needed, and stretch yourself in ways you didn't realize were possible, you both become better people for it. If my husband wouldn't have pulled the tow I don't know if I would have. But now that he's shown me his strength, I have the courage to push myself just a little farther.

Thank you Lorie, as always, for your delightful insights!

(16) Anonymous, March 13, 2011 9:27 AM

Looks happy, really is hard!

I'm now up to year 10 and I feel like we are starting to get somewhere, really growing, and enjoying each other. Being married is Hard Work! I remember when I was married for a few months. Someone called me and said "You know, I met so and so and she told me she loves thinking about you. You are married to the right kind of guy, so caring, and you are living in Israel and living the life you wanted to live. You must be so happy!". I remember being so confused: they were right, I was living the exact life I wanted, and married to the perfect person for me, but I was NOT so happy. It takes a lot of hard work to be happy! Keep at it, effort does bear results, but don't expect it to come naturally. The first year is just the start of the process.

(15) Anonymous, November 24, 2010 12:52 AM

What a year!!!!!

I have recently celebrated my 1st yr anniversary with my wife. Marriage is more complicated than rocket science and any other complicated stuff you can think of!!! It was so rocky. We were both not sure if we would ever make it this far. No way! Hashem helped us. We have a rabbi and we used to go to a therapist but our money ran out. Therapy is so expensive! So we had to fight by ourselves. kinda funny but still... It's very hard to understand the other side when you don't listen. I think that people should seek a lot of advice and guidance before marriage and have a rabbi available on a weekly basis. And when you don't make an issue out of every tissue, you will live better. I am so happy we are still married. I really pray that our marriage gets better everyday because this past year was sometimes extremely difficult. May we all have the patience and understanding for our spouse and learn to live with them happily and with health for many peaceful years together. Hashem - Please help us all!!!

(14) Anonymous, July 20, 2010 4:20 AM

Thank You!

Oh my gosh.... Thank you!!!! I got married six months ago and some days are amazing, but some are such a struggle. I grew up with the honeymoon and roses view of the first year of marriage, and mine is not like that. Most of the time I feel so lucky that I am married at that I found my soulmate, and sometimes I feel like, "What am I doing?" I'm pretty young to be married (19 yrs. old) and sometimes I feel like I'm messing up. I'm glad to know that it's just something everyone goes through, and that it'll only get better from here. If my life turns into the good days without the awkward ones, I'll be thrilled!!!!!!

(13) Anonymous, June 23, 2010 6:49 PM

marriage and tikum O lam

I when I anticipate food, I pray no one should go hungry. When I contemplate marriage, I pray no one should be denied it. Starvation continues. Marriage remains a right not universally shared. Celebrating blessings like food or marriage feels better to me when I take a moment to consider how lucky some are and the work that remains for us to ensure no one is denied basic rights; like eating or getting married.

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