Everything Happens to Me

by Mrs. Lori Palatnik

We need to learn how to get out of ourselves.

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Published: July 7, 2012

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Visitor Comments: 17

(17) Anonymous, July 31, 2012 3:54 PM

I sincerely hope this gentleman has fully recovered and is now in good health. Hopefully he and his family members are having much happier times than they did on the plane!

(16) rebecca, July 14, 2012 7:41 PM

brings to reality the job we have to bring the light of torah and the commandments to a world becoming dimmer everyday of those commands to care for one another and show who Hashem really is, He will only become more recognizable if we live out His ways!

(15) Welton, July 11, 2012 4:10 AM

Beautiful Truth

So very true and thoughtful. Thank you Rebbetzen Palatnick, thank you!

(14) paul, July 11, 2012 2:14 AM

Selfishness is alive and well and especially prevalent on planes

It seems to me that we on the east coast must endure selfishness, rudeness, and downright hostility on an increasingly daily basis. The situation described is just one example of the lack of compassion people have. I could understand someone on that flight requiring a drink of water to take medications, but expecting that diet soda no matter what? Disgusting and shameful does not even cover it.

(13) Charles G., July 10, 2012 9:55 PM

Waiting

Over the years I have been in numerous situations where I have had to hurry up and wait. Despite a career lasting 20 years in the Army I still hated waiting past my deadline. Then came a day where I was scheduled for a heart catherization at 1 and was requested to be at the hospital by 12:00. The patient before me, a lady in her 70's, was taken into the lab late. Nobody came and got me at 1, but I wasn't upset. By 2 I was rather annoyed that I was still waiting. At 3 I was going to demand a reason for my waiting. At 4 the reason for the lateness was shown as the lady, covered from head to toe, was brought out of the lab. I had two thoughts: the grief her family was going to suffer, and the guilt over my selfish demands for on-time attention while the medical personnel were trying to examine her and save her life.

(12) Anonymous, July 10, 2012 8:58 PM

I am a flight attendant.

The man on the floor was in G-d's hands and the care of a trained doctor. The queens of diet coke and the royalty addicted to and dependant on technology to feel loved who endlessly evoke their needs are in crisis. I often respond to their crisis by repeating their words, loudly (for others to hear), prefaced by a, "Let me understand this"... So it would sound like this loudly, "Let me understand this, you would like a diet coke when all the people around you go without so the man on the floor might survive?" Creepy people are very intimidated by unpopularity from the people around them. We have to be willing to be an instrument of good rational thinking, patience and even love for strangers. Give creepy people a second chance by letting them hear what they sound like. No third chance. Run. We Jews are into "repairing the world", tikum olam. We aren't into fixing people.

(11) Mitch, July 10, 2012 4:50 PM

Lori,You're Spot On!!

Lori, I am a physician, and many years ago I experienced a similar situation on a flight between NYC and Ft. Lauderdale when the passenger in the very next seat experienced an acute cardiac event. I too had to attend her and also make the call whether we should divert or proceed onward. Luckily she remained stable. Unlike on your flight, the passengers on mine remained very subdued and supportive. The behavior that you witnessed is very much, unfortunately, a sign of our modern depersonalizing times. Time and time again we observe the lack of concern and compasssion for others. Rude and self centered behavior is pervasive. Unfortunately our society has become a "me society." The days of caring for our neighbor seems to have been relegated to the trash heap of time. Though there may be many daily individual acts of kindness, our society in general has "lost it" as evidenced by the selfish behavior you witnessed on your flight. However on the other side of the scales was the great act of compassion and kindness shown by the frum physician, who by attending this poor person, exhibited the highest ideals of Judaism and medicine. Maimonides would be very proud of him!!! Lori, I am sure that the Tehillim that you and your daughter prayed also profoundly helped make the difference for that passenger. Be well, and keep up the great commentaries.

(10) Donna, July 10, 2012 3:40 PM

My husband

My husband went in to cardiac arrest , collapsing in front of a restaurant coming home from a short vacation in Atlantic City traveling back to Baltimore last July15th. The hostess in the restaurant ran right out and did CPR on him and another man opened up his airway, untill the paramedics arrived. People flocked out of the diner and rallied around me comforting me as I cried, terrfied that I was loosing my husband. No one was worrying that their food was getting cold or that they were being inconvenienced. Thank G-d, my husband survived because of the wonderful strangers in Vineland, New Jersey and the kindness they showed us. No one was thinking of their "diet Coke"!

(9) ruth housman, July 10, 2012 3:04 PM

The REAL THING

This is shocking. Diet Coke? It does remind me of the Coke slogan, it's the real thing. Strangely, people seem oblivious of the real thing. I mean, how could anyone so trivialize what was happening in front of them and not realize, the valiant efforts to stabilize a man with a heart attack, and the depth of what was happening. How totally cruel, and yes, what would these family members think? The operative word is Shame. I am thinking, life is surely a MINE field, and everything does happen to all of us, all the time, for good, as for the geodes and gems in that field, and for bad, as how life does blow up in front of us, and can, anytime, and this is sobering, and demands our love and support and empathy for each other. I hope he made it, and I hope his family realizes not everyone on that plane was inhumane and crazy. You and your family and no doubt others, had their hearts in their mouths, in prayer. What's "plain" is that on this plane, people are truly missing something very deep, that is this message. I only wish you weren't preaching to the choir, because those who need to learn something about life, seem to be operating, on another plane. Not this earth. Outer space!

(8) Anonymous, July 10, 2012 3:03 PM

great

Every video you do inspires me and makes me weep with your compassion for others. Keep up the good work, and thank you for being here.

(7) Melissa, July 10, 2012 2:31 PM

self-centered-ness creates its own gehenna

unfortunately many people still believe in darwinist theories like survival of the fittest. the moment the 'runner' ahead of them in the race falls, they relish the thought of stomping over them in 'victory'. its a knee jerk reaction born of pride. Its teenage behavior, even. that is where most of our world hang out in: creating their own private hells. its only the creation & re-creation of inner peace that brings compassion & peace-mindedness into the world, 1 person at a time. Good reminder to bring that book of psalms everywhere!!

(6) KAREN, July 10, 2012 1:03 PM

outstanding!!

~~this retired psychotherapist says than you !bless !youwere spot in !!by the way,are you a member of linked in,and canwe link up?

(5) chana, July 9, 2012 2:20 PM

the diet coke

i would like to think that i would have stood up and told the people who were complaining nearly exactly what you said... if it were G/d forbid, YOUR loved one.. how would you feel that someone was complaining that they did not get the beverage that they think they paid for... kindly shut up, and if you are a person of Prayer... than kindly, pray for this man and his family... if you are NOT a person of prayer, then just kindly shut up and have compassion. and after saying that, maybe i would have turned myself to the other side of the aircraft and said basically, the same thing.... for shame those who were so thoughtless... maybe its me being selfish, but i believe i would have felt better to remind others to have decency, and courtesy. Thank you for sharing this story, i love all your "Lori, almost live". - - i look forward to each of them

(4) Cathryn, July 9, 2012 2:59 AM

I agree!

Lori, I absolutely agree with what you said. It's the same in traffic jams caused by an accident. People get bothered, but at least they weren't involved in the accident!

(3) Anonymous, July 8, 2012 8:45 PM

Refuah Shelemah to this gentleman. I confess that there are times in my life when I have been self-centered and demanding. However, I can say with 100% honesty that if I had been on that flight I would have only been thinking of the man and his family. How horrible it must have been for him and his loved ones! Sometimes I am driving on the local parkway and traffic gets very backed up for a few miles. Unfortunately the reason is usually due to a fender bender. As I pass the damaged vehicles I have but one thought in my head. I only hope that the people involved were not hurt. Let's please show some more concern for the well being of others.

(2) Alan S., July 8, 2012 3:30 PM

Whenever I hear people say 'everything happens to me', I often believe they are really saying 'everything is about me' i.e., the world does or should revolve around me.

(1) anon, July 8, 2012 3:11 PM

IT'S ALL AOUT ME!!!!!!!

sadly too many truly feel this way or at least project that attitude. common courtesy is almost gone in todays society. Too many feel they are entitled. Look at Europe, broke in debt yet the people vote in more entitlements. Befuddles the mind.

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About the Author

Mrs. Lori Palatnik

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Lori Palatnik is a writer and Jewish educator who has appeared on television and radio, and is the author of "Friday Night and Beyond: The Shabbat Experience Step-By-Step," "Remember My Soul - What to do in Memory of a Loved One," and co-author of "Gossip: 10 Pathways to Eliminate It From Your Life and Transform Your Soul." She is a much sought-after international speaker, having lectured in the U.S., Canada, Mexico, U.K., Central America, South America, South Africa and Israel, including featured talks at Yale, Brown and Penn. She lives in the Washington D.C. area, with her husband, Rabbi Yaakov Palatnik. Lori is the Founder of The Jewish Women's Renaissance Project, an international initiative that brings over 1,000 women to Israel each year from ten different countries on highly subsidized programs to inspire them with the beauty and wisdom of their heritage. She is the busy mother of five children, ages 24 to 14; and her son, Zev, just finished serving as a sharpshooter in the IDF. Her weekly video blog, "Lori Almost Live" is a popular feature on aish.com, viewed by over 50,000 people each month.

Follow Lori on Twitter, @LoriAlmostLive

Everything Happens to Me

We need to learn how to get out of ourselves.

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