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It's Not Fair!

What message do we give our children when we say, "Life isn't fair"?

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Visitor Comments: 25

(24) Jonathan, February 27, 2012 3:18 AM

Have we forgotten already?

The holocaust is the elephant in the room. If you don't address it, what meaning do your comments have?

(23) Sandy from Dallas TX, February 26, 2012 6:08 PM

Hashem knows what's in our best interest

Dear Lori, Thank you for this wonderful video that puts things into their proper perspective. I will butress your message with the following story: About 12 years ago lady named Chana could not find a job in her field in Dallas Texas, the city that she loved. Instead she was offered a job in Harrisburg Pennsylvania working for the state. When she consulted with the Rabbi of the shul in Dallas that she help found, he advised her to take the job. Although Harrisburg had a good frum infastructure including a mikvah and an eruv, it did not hold a candle to Dallas. Little did anyone know that up in Harrisburg Chana would meet her beshert, Sandy, on JDate who was then living in Baltimore. One year after their first date they got married and Sandy was able to transfer and relocate to Harrisburg. For the first 6 1/2 years Sandy & Chana lived in Pennsylvania's capital city until the state suddenly abolished Chana's job. She got an offer in Oklahoma City with the state of Oklahoma but on the third day of her employment there they pulled the rug from out under her. Several months laterChana was offerd a very good job in Dallas and 8 months ago she& Sandy moved there. The long and the short is that Hashem brought Chana to Harrisburg for the purpose of getting her married to her real beshert and terminated her job with the state of Pennsylvania to return her back to Dallas, this time with a husband.. Some parts of this story still remain a mystery. Why didn't Hashem bring the two of them to Dallas to meet and marry in the first place? The answer is that we don't know but Hashem knows what's best for us, even of WE don't know. Thank you again, Lori, for your informative and inspiring video. Keep up the good work!

(22) Anonymous, February 23, 2012 4:58 AM

Thank you

When you brought out this message you said "I believe...." Thank you for not putting down your foot and saying this is how it should be done yet this is what you believe. I think ppl. are more accepting this way

(21) Rachel, February 22, 2012 10:07 PM

There is a difference between human actions and Hashem's

I don't say "life is not fair" and when my children were small, I would try to discuss the difference between what Lori called injustices vs. the way life is. I suffered a life-threatening catastrophic illness. That's not about what's "fair". By the same token, when a person's injury is due to the actions of other people, then the injured party has every right to attempt to get a remedy. Telling children "life is not fair" also gives them an easy out for mistreating others or not taking responsibility for their own mistakes, and that's not something my husband and i will put up with. But when a child has been treated unjustly (e.g. collective punishment of a whole class because of the misbehavior of a few), I will certainly use it as an opportunity to discuss the fact that it is unfair and assure my kids that if it happens again, I will intervene with the school. My children are now in their teens and know the difference between "it's not fair that some people are smarter, more attractive, wealthy, etc" vs. real injustices. And they give tzedakah, vote, participate in organizations, etc that work against injustice.

(20) rivka, February 22, 2012 8:24 PM

the 2 last videos

thank you for your videos. they always give a lot of Chizuk. The last 2 ones, that I saw (this one and on the reincarnation) make me feel that you or your family or good freinds have faced quite a difficult time. So I hope ,b"H, that all will be OK as, as you said, every thing commes from H' so there can not be a better thing for us, but it can still be very painful. We have not the ability to anderstand every thing...accepting all different kind of situations is a hard test for emunah and bitachon,a life long work ! all the best...from France

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