Saying Goodbye to Your Kids

Don't just cry – celebrate!

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Comments (12)

(10) Anonymous, September 2, 2013 10:48 PM

beautifuly said

You said it so beautiful
I enjoy your show and cherish every one of them
Shana Tova and thank you

(9) Anonymous, August 28, 2013 4:05 PM

Something needs to change...

Once I experienced living on my own, and finding out what its all about, I always wanted to do something about it. Well, after watching this video and posting ( comment #5) I was wondering if Reb, you were interested in going into communities and colleges where there are single people, and helping...I would be happy to help out too. You can e-mail me. Shana Tova!

(8) Rachel, August 27, 2013 5:14 PM

This is what I kept telling myself...

...in the lead-up to my son's departure last week for a year in Israel.

At the airport, I made him kiss me goodbye one extra time. I didn't cry until I'd left him. We were taking turns in the departures area, and when I met up with my daughter (his older sister) she said "Did you cry?" "Yes, but only after I was out of his vision" I replied. "I cried too" she said. This from the girl who has argued about and with him pretty much non-stop since his birth! So while my husband and I are celebrating his going out on his own, ALL of us have had moments of nostalgia - because we miss him.

(7) Anonymous, August 22, 2013 6:41 PM

Not Goodbye - Lhitraot !

definitely it is a celebration for the kids, moving on in life and making their very own accomplishments.
thank you for your comments and sure do miss you in tuesday classes. Maybe you would come and surprise the ladies one time? shabbat shalom

(6) Dina, August 22, 2013 2:48 PM

Thanks for Chizuk!

Thank you Lori for your beautiful words. Every time I think about taking my daughter to the airport, I start to cry. I know that I, and the rest of my family, are going to miss her terribly. Your words have given me chizuk and a new way to look at her leaving. I hope you won't mind if I use some of your beautiful words in my farewell card to her.

(5) Anonymous, August 21, 2013 11:49 PM

It's really not for everyone!

This is such a complex topic. Having lived on my own for a couple of years, I can say that it is not as simple as making choices, like Reb Palatnik mentioned.There are so many struggles one faces when living on their own. I also think that our host culture has decided that men and women should leave their parents home as a "rite of passage." What does the Torah say about this? We know what it says about getting married, and cling to his wife. But what if someone does not get married while living on their own? If we look at history, most people lived near their parents and still learned from them and had them as a support system. Further, these young adults that leave their parents home do not have this support system and sometimes might feel a sense of entitlement to fulfill the next stage of their lives or experience the "rite of passage" they deserve and do things that are not according to halacha. This is our reality. Parents and communities are never absolved from their roles and young adults and even old adults need mentoring and guidance. I am a healthy adult and do not have any issues as Reb stated might be why people live at home. I know some friends who probably would move back but their parents think along the same lines as the Reb. I know that making the choice (I guess I did make a choice! Thanks Mom and Dad!) to move back home has already made me a more genuine, wholesome,happier, and spiritual person.

Ann Canada, August 22, 2013 2:44 PM

Love your comment, Anonymous.

Anonymous, August 25, 2013 5:24 AM

Torah Promotes Family Togetherness

In reality, it usually is more conducive for young adults to keep a halachic and Torah lifestyle by living at home during college and not Dorming. I speak from experience. Going to Israel for the year, on the other hand, is a great experience. And obviously the child will be on their own. But Israel provides a more spiritual environment, than American universities. Therefore for Frum Men and Women, I am very pro-college, but I also believe dorming is not the better option. Parents provide halachic and hashgafic guidance that can't be replaced. Obviously, when a child gets married, that is time for the child to move it. But one hopes that parents and children always keep a strong and loving bond. My point being that Torah society has always been pro- family unity, and believes there is never a time where parents are not needed. That is why kibbud av v'em and fearing parents are mitzvos that are pertinent throughout a childs whole life.

(4) SusanE, August 21, 2013 6:40 PM

How Do Kidsfeel saying goodbye to Their Parents?

It hasn't been that long since the Parents of an 18 year old left their own home. How ready were you at 18 to make decisions about what to eat, who to hang out with, how to spend your money, what time to come in at night? What skills did your parents give you to work while attending college? How much did you rely on parents for money during college years? We worked. Our kids worked. Our kids do what we do. Not what we say. I still miss my 40 - 50 year old kids, because they are fun to be with. IMO Every kid should work for a couple years after High School for experience, relaxed rules and to put earnings toward college. Time to leave home at 20 or 21.

(3) TMay, August 20, 2013 8:17 PM

and then there is

I remember a mother and daughter living together and the daughter saying that she would live with her mother forever because her mother could not get by without her. The daughter said the mother could not make enough money and could not pay her rent nor her bills and her credit was horrible and she didn't have friends..

(2) Alan S., August 19, 2013 9:46 PM

I agree with Lisa...

Sorry Rebbitzen, but you make it seem that the only logical way to show happiness is by celebrating -- how? By smiling and clapping?? Well, some women and men show their happiness with tears of joy, especially to celebrate a child's next step into the future or accomplishment.

(1) Lisa, August 18, 2013 11:36 AM

It's our right to shed some tears!!

It's not just about them! It is great that they are leaving...it's also realizing another chapter of life that's over ( those cute toddler years!!) it's very introspective! Thank GD their lives keep moving along ( Lech Lecha) , but is mine?
I'm still bringing tissues to the airport......

 

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