Landlord: A Yom Kippur Video

Are you letting resentments live in your head, rent-free?

Click here if you are unable to view this video.

This project was created with funds granted by The Covenant Foundation,
with Fiscal Sponsorship by The Foundation for Jewish Culture.


Comments (100)

(90) jeanne, September 19, 2018 11:23 PM

Thank you for the realistic advice on forgiveness..

(89) Angelika Vesely Heath, September 17, 2018 7:15 PM

Enormously grateful to have stumbled on this video.

Looking for the appropriate way to send my wonderful doctor
a Yom Kippur acknowledgement (although I’m not Jewish, I
knew that it was a solemn and serious time), I followed an in-
teresting link to the marvelous animation by Hanan Harchol!
Born in Austria in 1945, I somehow carry around with me the deep, unspeakable sadness of what happened before I was
alive. On many levels this animation about the Landlord
touched me deeply — despite the gentle humor I had tears
falling by the end. Is there any way you could convey my
thanks to Mr. Harchol for his insight,

(88) Anonymous, September 15, 2018 4:19 AM

Perplexed

Yom Kippur: my brother said and did some bad things to me after my parents died. On young Kippur your suppose to forgive. But what if you dont know if the person wants to be forgived. Then what. I'm thinking of asking him out for dinner so we can discuss our lives. It would be a start for both of us to forgive. What do you guys think?

(87) Anonymous, September 6, 2015 2:29 PM

How do you forgive someone who has not asked for forgiveness

I know that holding on to anger only causes me pain and am more than able to forgive someone who hurt me when asked, but I can 't seem to let go of the hurt feeling caused by someone who has never apologized.

(86) sm, September 3, 2015 7:46 AM

This is a great message. It's sometimes very hard to forgive. There were times when i thought to myself that i forgive someone, but still had some anger. But like the man said, it's like letting the person stay in your head rent free. If we want inner peace, we need to let go. We are Not saying what the person did is okay. We are just not letting it eat at us anymore. This way, we can live a happier life

(85) Anonymous, June 20, 2015 5:01 AM

Food for thought. . .

This is excellent!
Please create more video clips - they're outstanding!
Thank you :-)

(84) Anonymous, December 7, 2014 12:24 PM

THIS IS BEYOND AWESOME

NEED MORE OF THE LIKE!

(83) Alan, October 8, 2013 11:41 AM

Nice in theory but....

Firstly I want to say that I agree with the principle that harbouring resentment is bad for you (not the person that hurt you) and getting rid of resentment is healthy for you.

But the video suggests that telling someone I forgive you (which is the father's advice to chanan) will remove the feelings of resentment you have towards the other person. I totally disagree with this. If only removing resentment from our lives would be so easy! Removing resentment requires having insight into the dynamics of the relationship - so one way might be for the father to discuss with chanan his relationship with David before they stopped speaking. But certainly not telling chanan: "forgive him"!

Furthermore, such emphatic advice from a parent (or rabbi or anyone for that matter) can even potentially be destructive, here's how: If the son still has feelings of resentment towards david after telling him he is forgiven, there are only two possibilities for how the son will feel: he will either feel bad about himself (because his father’s 'pearls of wisdom' just didn’t work) or he will resent his father. Both pretty undesirable outcomes..

(82) Anonymous, September 12, 2013 9:06 PM

brilliant. The animation fits the words seamlessly. The message hits home. Well written. It helps to learn this lesson over and over.

(81) Michal, September 9, 2013 7:32 AM

Wonderful video

Such a great video! I really needed to watch that to help me to forgive and let go of resentments I have been holding onto.

(80) DR. Evelyn BohM, May 16, 2013 4:02 PM

Wise father giving advise to son about forgiveness & letting go of resentment..

Such wisdom. For my patients, my friends & family & especially for me.

(79) Canada, April 20, 2013 4:09 AM

GREAT Video !

I just love all the videos by Hanan - every one of them are full of honest human feelings/reactions and then incredible wisdom! Thank you so much!
Please keep them coming . . .

THANK YOU :-)

(78) Anonymous, January 23, 2013 12:30 AM

There's a third choice

Besides resentment and forgiveness theres a third choice, letting go of resentment.

Anonymous, May 3, 2013 5:26 PM

forgiveness is the easiest way to letting go of resentment.

(77) Reda Spillhaus, November 1, 2012 1:30 PM

Out of christianity ; holding onto your tsitsits

Been struggling for a year to forgive my previous boss. I am watching this video over and over, and the truths from this humoristic video do it for me; I am almost there!

(76) Anonymous, October 11, 2012 4:29 PM

This is incredibly fabulous! brilliant! Wow!

THANK YOU!

(75) Anonymous, October 7, 2012 6:40 PM

HASHEM AS A PERFECT JUDGE

not only do we rejoice when hashem rewards the good- but when he eventually punishes the bad- we don't talk about it but there is gehennim for evil- Rabbi Avigdor Miller spoke a number of times about this- ( he mentioned a peurto rican taxi driver telling him isn't is about time to forgive those killing the Jews in Europe- and Rav Miller added in his retelling the incident to us- they were STILL killing Jews in Europe as the driver told rav Miller to forgive! Rav Menashe Klein's shul on 16 th ave has a passuk form a navie- speaking about the retribution hahsem will hand out to the evil- Should we give pedophiles?- especially abusers of very young children?

Anonymous, October 14, 2012 4:22 AM

to clarify my comment- i dont want to misrepresent Rabbi Avigdor Miller-

this was only one facet of the issue- and he sertainly was for the death sentence- but of course Rabbi Miller supported forgiveness- the Torah gives us instructions: 1) for a brother (Jew) do not hate in your heart- confront with convincing arguements about his behaviour 2)forgive 3) more than the law requires - forgive however there is more to it on a personal and national perspective as I pointed out in my original comment

(74) Anonymous, October 7, 2012 3:59 PM

just saw this now succos time-need help to eradicate...

Great video to help someone forgive another. However, I still have trouble with this. I have probably acknowledged all the things said in the video, but how do I remove resentment for things that CONTINUE TO HAPPEN TO ME by PEOPLE WHO ARE REGULARLY IN MY LIFE, RELATIVES! This video is for a one time thing between two friends which is easier to cut off than a mother-in-law who lives around the corner! I do not know how to move on from relatives who are IN MY LIFE CONSTANTLY AND DO NOT THINK THEY ARE WRONGING ME!

(73) Ben, October 4, 2012 6:33 PM

Good advice, but...

Excellent advice, but I feel there's another option. You can turn this into a positive learning experience. Become stronger, wiser, more discerning. If the person hasn't changed in any positive way, there's another path. You don't have to forgive and you don't have let it fester in your mind either. Eviction without forgiveness works too.

(72) Anonymous, September 27, 2012 9:17 PM

one thing

I forgot to mention, this does only addresses when a person asks for forgiveness. That certainly feels different than when someone expresses no regret about hurting you and, worse, argues they did nothing wrong (i.e. an abusive parent). I understand the information in this video can be applied in any case, but I must confess it is harder in such cases to manage it...

(71) Kathee, September 27, 2012 8:58 PM

Yes, please a readable version!

This is so wonderful! A printable version of this would be very helpful to me, too. Thanks so much for doing this project!

(70) Joey, September 26, 2012 6:47 PM

I rather liked this. Nice work and God bless!

Rabbi Mark Greenspan, September 27, 2012 2:17 PM

Touching and insightful

I thought a lot about this video over YK - and we even mentioned it from the bimah. This is a powerful expression of forgiveness. We all have too many people taking up residence in our heads,,,

(69) MYRIAM RINCON, September 26, 2012 12:12 PM

SPANISH TRANSLATION FO LANDLORD VIDEO

WONDERFUL TEACHING, I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE IT IN SPANISH TO SHARE, IF YOU DON´T HAVE IT I CAN DO IT IF YOU SEND ME THE WRITTEN SPEECH BECAUSE MY HEARING IS NOT SO GOOD, BUT MY SPANISH TRANSLATION IS PERFECT. AND I SEND YOU BACK THE SPANISH TEXT SO YOU CAN PUT IT ON THE VIDEO, I SAW A NAME RUTH CALDERON WHO I SUPOSE SPEAKS SPANISH, MAY BE SHE CAN HELP YOU WITH WHERE TO PUT THE TRANSLATION I CAN MAKE. WAITING FOR YOUR KIND RESPONSE, MYRIAM

(68) BEVERLY COHEN, September 26, 2012 1:23 AM

THIS IS SOMETHING I STRUGGLE WITH

VERY GOOD...WE CAN ALL LEARN SOMETHING ABOUT FORGIVENESS

(67) Ra'anan, September 25, 2012 6:55 AM

thx for alternative audio to play in our heads!!!

thx for alternative audio to play in our heads!!! The audio visual modeling is such an effective tool to show there is another way.

(66) eg spielman, September 25, 2012 1:57 AM

It is a very well thought out piece that we all share from time to time. In my working place, there are times that people do things that I feel are wrong and trouble me, taking up "too much space" in my mind. Better to forgive and forget. Also, healthier.

(65) Chana, September 24, 2012 10:24 PM

Incredible.

Thank you for posting! It had a lot of depth :)

(64) rikk, September 24, 2012 7:22 PM

what about if what u cant forgive about them is a recurring thing?

.

Lola, September 25, 2012 7:31 PM

Forgive MANY times ...

A Rabbi says that we should forgive "seventy times seven ..." indefinitely?! Put it another way, YOU have to ask The Father to forgive you, for the same sin(s), many times, right? Like the video suggests, it's hard, but that's what we're to do. If it's a relative we really have to do it, if it's an acquaintance, we could always keep out of their way and make a new friend. Blessings to your health.

(63) madeleine, September 24, 2012 6:18 PM

Definition of Forgive

I've always thought of the definition of the verb "to forgive," as meaning to give over, give away or get rid of a weight I've been carrying. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves because by so doing we lift a weight off our hearts, lighten our load, and lighten up.

(62) Anonymous, September 24, 2012 5:32 PM

Marvelous video

You again have hit the nail on the head by creating an educational and fun clip. I salute your efforts and encourage you to keep up the great work!

(61) Anonymous, September 24, 2012 3:29 PM

Very inspiring

I loved the video! I could totally identify with Hanan. Very inspiring. I have much to think about now. I think your video will make it possible for me to forgive someone I never thought I could forgive. Thank you!

(60) Anonymous, September 24, 2012 11:09 AM

asking for fogiveness

what if david had not asked for forgiveness. how would the story go ? but really this is absolutely superb. thank you hanan

(59) Anonymous, September 24, 2012 5:39 AM

Brilliant!

Such an important message. Thank you.

(58) Ephraim, September 24, 2012 5:35 AM

"Landlord: A Yom Kippur Video" is...

...sheer perfection! Thank you!

(57) Ik, September 23, 2012 10:43 PM

THANK YOU HANNAN. The video is very sweet yet POWERFUL!!! Yoshar Koach!

(56) inspired, September 23, 2012 9:08 PM

so hard but so true

this time of year especially, if we have been hurt, we tend to focus so much on what others have done to us and the pain they deserve back, when really we have to let it go, cos we are the only ones getting hurt each time we re play the incident/ hurt! really great video! i will try to put it into action :) gmar chasima tova to all!

(55) Anonymous, September 23, 2012 8:06 PM

Thank You!

Thanks for a wonderful and powerful message. It really got me thinking about some of the resentments I've carried around for years without consciously deciding to do so. I feel lighter already just being able to let go of some things that really don't matter anymore. As you pointed out, who doesn't need forgiveness at one time or another from others? We are all human and make mistakes. Focusing on the good in others and in humanity helps us to let go of the past and move forward.

(54) shaynde, September 23, 2012 7:11 PM

love it

Absolutely amazing. Thank You so much!!! I need to listen to this over and over.

Ellen, September 23, 2012 8:53 PM

How true this is!

Excellent message delivered in such a down to earth way

(53) Anonymous, September 23, 2012 6:35 PM

Wonderful film!

Thank you for this beautiful video! Thank goodness food for thought is calorie free because there certainly was a lot of it in this animation!

(52) Anonymous, September 23, 2012 5:22 PM

Fabulous

I enjoyed this video very much, both the physical aspect and the content. The message is an important one and the delivery of it is easy to follow. I will try to save it on my computer to review when needed and will send it out to many of my friends. Forgiveness is something we all need to understand and know how to do with ease in our hearts.

(51) Anonymous, September 23, 2012 5:03 PM

perpetuating sterotype

while I enjoyed listening to the message of this short film I am disapointed and insulted by the cartoon portaryl of a Jewish father and son- please becareful not to continue with large noses, curly hair, glasses and bad accents- this does nothing to help end antisemitic sterotype

rachel, September 24, 2012 12:21 AM

I agree with you and I might add or "money Jew lover" jokes are of poor taste.

Mel, September 26, 2012 11:16 PM

um...

It does say at the end of the cartoon that he was imitating his fathers voice. Are you saying his father should not have a bad accent? And they are modelled after himself and his parents. Are you insulting their looks as well? I personally wear galsses and have curly hair. Should I not go out in public then?

(50) Dovie E., September 23, 2012 4:27 PM

Some are more forgiving than others.

I know exactly what this is about. But frankly, I cannot forgive the one who did something similar.

(49) Iris Moskovitz, September 23, 2012 3:58 AM

Truthful and inspiring

I read somewhere that everything a person sees and hears is bashert for them to see and hear . I am soo happy I was bashert to see and really take into perspective the messaage that is being conveyed.

(48) Anonymous, September 23, 2012 3:02 AM

thank you for the film

nice chin for the son

(47) Robin, September 23, 2012 1:21 AM

Needed this

I was wondering when and how I'd catch the Yom Kippur spirit. This did it. I have been holding a grudge for years and years. I didn't even finish this video, just hit "pause" and ran to tell a family member, "I forgive you". Thank you sooooo much.

(46) סילבי, September 22, 2012 10:54 AM

גדולתו של אדם היא לדעת גם לסלוח.

(45) Beverly Margolis-Kurtin, September 21, 2012 8:15 PM

Easier than I thought

Just a few weeks ago, I realized something that has totally changed my life. This is going to sound silly, but it isn't. By holding onto resentments, I was filled with anger all the time. Then, while meditating, a sudden thought slammed into me and changed my life for the better. What happened? I'd been asking Hashem to take my chronic anger from me. I honestly did not want to have that anger gnawing at me 24/7/365. I knew I could not do it; only G-d could do it. BANG! "ONLY G-D COULD DO IT!" But "I" was not G-d. WHOA! I was not G-d, I am NOT G-d. Believe it or not, ALL OF MY ANGER disappeared in a tenth of a second...ALL of it. Physically, I felt my body react to letting it all go. I've not only forgiven all of the people who I had thought had wronged me, I forgot who they were and what I had been carrying within me. My only regret is that I do not know how to help others let go of their anger. Being disabled and in a wheelchair much of the time (I can walk, but I can fall a lot easier ), I meet other folks who are in wheelchairs and they are BITTER and filled with anger. That isn't me, I'm grateful that people with disabilities can get around freely these days. I'm thrilled that I've got a power chair that moves at 6mph. It sure beats the old days when wheelchairs were made with woven cane strips. I AM HAPPY! It kills me that so many people are angry and bitter because they're disabled. They ask me what in the dickens I'm so happy about. I tell 'em, but they just write me off as a Pollyanna which I am definitely not. It's a crying shame.

(44) Patricia, September 21, 2012 3:47 PM

thank you I just prayed this morning for help in forgivingthank you for sharing

(43) Anonymous, September 21, 2012 2:51 PM

ears and noses

My class watched this we liked the big ears and big noses. But the dialogue was very interesting.

(42) Gershob, September 21, 2012 1:28 PM

Beautiful

Beautiful

(41) Stephanie, September 21, 2012 9:28 AM

thanks

thank you, I needed that

(40) Aaron, September 21, 2012 4:13 AM

The next level of forgiveness

I enjoyed that film. To me the things that the father was saying were common sense and it's kind of baffling to me why people think like the son was thinking. There seems to be a widespread superstition that forgiving someone equates to weakness. The thing that was missing is that the son was still holding onto the original interpretation of events. The son never got that "the baggage" he was carrying was because of an interpretation of/a story about what happened rather than from what actually happened. It would've also been nice to see the son get all the way to the point of realizing that he is the one that killed off the friendship because of his interpretation of what happened. And then it would have been nice to see him get to the point of wanting to ask forgiveness of his friend for killing off the friendship. The first level of forgiveness is forgiving others. The next level of forgiveness is asking forgiveness from others for making them wrong.

(39) Chana Batya, September 21, 2012 3:36 AM

Loved this.......thank you so much.

(38) aliza, September 21, 2012 2:57 AM

Thank you so much for this wonderful film!

(37) Richard, September 21, 2012 2:35 AM

Thank you

Hanan, Thank you so much for sharing your story, your own wisdom and the wisdom passed down to you from others. And thank G-d for giving you such a great talent so that you could share this story so wonderfully with all of us!

(36) Anonymous, September 21, 2012 1:31 AM

A lesson hears and learned Thank you

(35) Anonymous, September 20, 2012 8:09 PM

Very helpful!

Great insight...helped me deal with things.

(34) Rebecca, September 20, 2012 1:25 PM

Hanan's friend

Hanan's friend offered to move out of the rent free arrangement by asking for forgiveness. Most people who genuinely do bad acts never offer to move out. We have to evict them by forgiving them even when they do not ask, and do not deserve forgiveness. As Hanan's father said it is a choice between living as a resenter, and getting the reward a resenter gets....or not.

(33) Rinah, September 20, 2012 1:05 PM

Brilliant!! Thank you for this blessing. Forgiveness is the greatest. I love the dad saying "forgiving is the hardest thing to do; that's why the reward is so great" Love it!!

(32) Estrella, September 20, 2012 12:35 PM

This was the best U tube video I have ever seen. The sentiments presented here are truly the most difficult to understand but as you say the ones that give the "greatest reward" I commend you!!! Enjoyed!. Happy New Year. Dealing with this issue for a long time but finally coming to terms with it.

(31) Renee, September 20, 2012 12:04 PM

Wonderful!

(30) Rivka, September 20, 2012 7:23 AM

Thanks

Thanks for another great "animated shiur". I hope you are working on the next one!

gail Petrowsky, September 20, 2012 11:07 AM

Amazingly profound and so wise --everyone needs to refreh this awareness of forgiveness and our choices to be free of resentments. Amen

(29) eli, September 20, 2012 5:41 AM

Brilliant - thank you!

(28) Anonymous, September 20, 2012 4:18 AM

Thank You

Thanks again for your insight. I feel blessed.

(27) kinneret, September 20, 2012 3:07 AM

My rav said almost the same thing but in different wording.

(26) Levine, September 20, 2012 2:51 AM

Oy Vay!

A simply profound and impactful message I needed to hear! Thank you!

(25) Anonymous, September 20, 2012 2:11 AM

Super!! Will suggest to our Religious School teacher to view also....

(24) Anonymous, September 20, 2012 1:36 AM

sho6509@gmail.com

Brilliant, just brilliant!

(23) Judith Abrams, September 20, 2012 12:53 AM

This is so true

I loved this piece. In just a few minutes it really summed up what we need to do in these ten days. Thank you.

(22) Paul W M, September 20, 2012 12:26 AM

Food for thought

I enjoyed seeing this video. Paused, reflected and took a breath. Good advise from a wise father, suitable for all folks & walks of life. Thank you! Paul W M (not Jewish)

(21) Anonymous, September 19, 2012 10:55 PM

Home run

The message really punched me in the face. A few months ago, I was treated completely unfairly by a business colleague, and the animosity just seethes inside me. However, the schemdrick in my life really isn't worth my time. Now, I'm just trying to give myself permission to break the self-imposed rent. Thank you, Hanan, for this video. I'm trying....I'm trying, and I'm grateful Yom Kippur isn't tomorrow.

(20) Anonymous, September 19, 2012 10:37 PM

I wish I could

But this short video will surely help me try...

(19) Rabbi Mark Greenspan, September 19, 2012 10:20 PM

A great Yom Kippur Sermon

I wish I could show this to my congregation before the High Holy Days...truly lovely. I was touched personally and it reminds me why we are in synagogue at this time of year. Yeshar Kochacha!!

(18) Anonymous, September 19, 2012 9:44 PM

Absolutely excellent!!!!

(17) Ellen Schwarz, September 19, 2012 9:27 PM

you rock, Hanan

I love Hanan's work. Keep 'em comin'. David's got nothing on you kiddo!

(16) Anonymous, September 19, 2012 8:35 PM

A fabulous and creative film that can really help us make a difference heading into Yom Kippur. Thank you.....

(15) Donna G, September 19, 2012 7:56 PM

Outstanding!

The best 10 minutes I've ever spent. Thank you, Hanan, for your creativity of expression and for sharing such important messages. Please continue; we need you.

(14) Barbara, September 19, 2012 7:04 PM

Excellent.

Very, very good, and very deep.

(13) Dr. Shellie Fraddin, September 19, 2012 7:02 PM

Brilliant Film

Thank you for addressing this topic in such a sensitive and practical way. We always need reminders. I passed this on to Jewish and gentile friends.

(12) lisa, September 19, 2012 6:38 PM

Keep your eyes on the road!!

Gr8 flick!! Some of the best messages are on 4 wheels!! I learned a deep message....thanks!! By the way, where is Chanan's mother??

(11) Bracha Goetz, September 19, 2012 5:38 PM

Thank you!

This is wonderful!

(10) Batsheva, September 19, 2012 5:37 PM

Wonderful!

Not only is this video great for individuals, but I have used in my class room with high schoolers and they loved it! Thank you for posting it here!

(9) Anonymous, September 19, 2012 5:15 PM

Words to live by.

Greate words of wisdom.

(8) Mark, September 19, 2012 5:06 PM

Unforgiveness and resentment have to be poisonous to the body because I feel a healing sensation when I forgive.

(7) iris, September 19, 2012 4:29 PM

Wonderful & So True

This is a truth we all need to keep in the forefront of our hearts and minds. Thank you for this great presentation.

(6) Joshua, September 19, 2012 4:23 PM

Thank you

I'm no good at forgiving. My parents taught me many things, but they must have skipped over this part. How strange that a ten minute video can really speak to me more than the last 27 years of experience has. Thank you, Hanan. I surely needed this, especially before Yom Kippur...

(5) Anonymous, September 19, 2012 4:18 PM

Years of resentment

My stepmother is very jealous and very possessive as well as controlling, she was very abusive to me and my family members psychologically and emotionally, she is very dominant..., I have a lot of emotional pain and resentment and I tried to forgive her but she continues to be manipulative, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and I don't know how to let go.

Raisy, September 25, 2012 3:40 PM

G-d Winked

Please, please read Sara Yoheved Rigler's G-d Winked--there's a chapter there about her experience with breast cancer. Also Bernie Siegel's Love, Medicine and Miracles. Get far away from negative, insensitive people and surround yourself with laughter and love and hope. Best wishes for your recovery!

(4) Anonymous, September 19, 2012 2:13 PM

vacating worries

Reminds me of what my social worker told me when I told her that "my worries don't take a vacation." She replied, "but, you can take a vacation from your worries." That is certainly good turn-around advice, and I could add taking vacation from my worries and NEVER returning to them.

(3) Lisa, September 19, 2012 11:53 AM

Kol Hakavod

Too good an animated short to find words for. Thanks.

(2) Rosangela, September 19, 2012 11:05 AM

Wow...

Was speechless! Deep, to-the-point, full of wisdom, clear.... So needed today. Thank you Hanan.

Anonymous, September 20, 2012 1:01 AM

Very good point!

I have wasted years being angry at people who have wronged me over the course of my life. The kids who made my childhood hell, family members who stole from me, bigoted bosses in the distant past (my current boss is great!). The list is almost endless. Everyone of these people have moved on with their lives. I never though of the fact that they were living inside of my head rent free. It's time to get rid of the apartment building I have been carrying around and move to a better neighborhood!

(1) donna, September 18, 2012 9:18 PM

Perfect timing!

Wonderful and appropriate. Simplicity at its finest. Thank you.

 

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