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Soul Control, Part 1: Self Esteem

Soul Control, Part 1: Self Esteem

Being good versus looking good.


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Never feel insecure again.

June 16, 2007

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The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 12

(12) Anonymous, January 24, 2014 1:11 PM

The best video I've ever seen.

Love it. Can't wait for more. Thank you.

(11) Rachel, January 24, 2014 2:40 AM

Too simplistic

How is "too much entertainment" a bodily issue? It seems to me that enjoying entertainment requires some degree of intellect (which you do not mention at all.) Newborns, who are totally body-oriented, are not going to care whether they are watching a cheesy film with car chases nor listening to Mozart -- they are only interested in their immediate physical needs.
And what is wrong with doing something to make yourself more acceptable to others? This is a useful way to inculcate good values before reaching the higher spiritual levels. I might be more comfortable on a summer's day if I go out in a tank top and shorts, but it's not tznius (which is how I want people to perceive me.) I may just "grin and bear it" rather than being really happy to give tzedaka when I'd rather spend that money on myself, but I want people to think of me as a charitable person. I've tried to model self-control to my children because I want them to have it, too. I don't know what sort of "doctor" you are, Dave, but I wouldn't want to be treated by someone who takes such a dumbed-down approach with his patients!

(10) D, February 13, 2011 4:04 PM

Dear #9

Dear #9 Do something extremely small, basic, and mechanical that you view as positive. I'm not talking about the hard stuff, like giving up the bad influence or taking on a major project. I mean, waking up in the morning feeling miserable, depressed, and like a failure of a human being who is absolutely worthless--- and then: 1. Washing your hands netilat yadayim 2. Making your bed etc. as you do one small act that makes you feel like you have some sort of control/positive impact-- I'd say praying but, oh lord, when I am in a slump davening for me is one lung mumbled-out "get this over with" ordeal---- anything small... force yourself to give someone a compliment. make yourself fake-laugh in the hopes it leads to at least one real chuckle. etc. the point is, for getting out of the slump rather than thinking how big and hopeless the ditch you need to climb out of is, or trying for somethign big and failing and getting more dejected, do something small and manageable that you know you can do. then, when you successfully do it, automatically you'll feel slightly better. that means you now have the strength to take on another, slightly larger thing. I'd say that then you eventually move on to huge hard things, but actually more likely than not you get stuck in the "middle-things" stage, then you get in a rut, then you start regressing, then you get depressed again... but this time it's a teeeeny bit easier to pull out.

(9) Anonymous, June 24, 2007 2:01 PM

About Those Choices

Good video, fresh insights. Thanks.
The worse (more fragile) self-esteem is, the harder it is to forego what helps feel better temporarily. Even though negative consequences will eventually keep one down and prevent positive change, the pain of hating oneself and the emptiness and worthless feelings seem to create overwhelming
pressure to keep going in the wrong direction.

I want to change, but how do I get the wherewithal? The ruts I am in are so deep that I can barely even see over them, no toe holds or hand holds are visible right now, and I'm too heavy anyway. I've already tried giving up and playing dead, but that doesn't help at all. I'm just going to look up to heaven, cry out, and see what help may come. Maybe this series...., but you look and sound too sharp to have ever been hopelessly mired so able to relate. I hope you don't hurl stale behaviorialist cliches, like loaves of stone down on me. Please, a helicopter or a paratrooper, or a cyanide pill.

(8) dina, June 18, 2007 6:44 PM


r. L.Presents clearly and succintly in novel way. Very enjoyable and I really learned something.

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