(49) Leigh Anne, 8/4/2008
It's all wrong
I agree that it is all wrong....but all too often we have handled this "wrongness" very badly. Calling the children of these unions "bastards"....like they did something to earn their fate...how horrible. And like David Letterman we are VERY inclined to cry foul when we are no better ourselves and have no business spreading "negative truths" about anyone. One finger pointing at another eguals three pointing back at us. Gossip is a sin too I believe...a very bad sin that hurts the whole community.

(48) Menashe Kaltmann, 6/4/2008
Thanks for saying it
Thank you for saying it straight.

We have to try and be aware of declining standards of morality.

Unfortunately recently here in Australia a father and daughter went on national TV asking with their 9 month daughter a product of their incestuous relationship. The Father claimed he had done nothing wrong!!! He just whitewashed the whole thing!

(47) Anonymous, 6/4/2008

RIGHT ON LORI- YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO SAY IT. i AM SICK OF OUR NEW
STANDARD
OF MORALITY THAT IT S FASHIONABLE IN HOLLYWOOD TO HAVE A BABY OUT OF
WEDLOCK.
WHEN I WAS GROWING UP THAT CHILD WAS A BASTARD. GOOD FOR YOU. ILOVE ALL
YOUR ADVICE AND TORAH TEACHINGS. YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION AND A BREATH OF
FRESH AIR.
SHABBAT SHALOM!
SUSAN LAWI

(46) Adriana Derry, 4/4/2008
Lori, you made some good points....
however how in the world can you compare the acts of the Govenor of the great State of New York to David Letterman having a child out of wedlock? Correct, they are both wrong. However, as there are degrees of homicide or misdemeanors, so there are degrees of misbehavior. A man who shops around for sexual pleasure, at the expense of the residents of the state that he is representing has a much higher degree of accountability because he has also sinned against G-d, his wife, his family and his state. Letterman's sin is private, just him and his G-d. There really IS a difference !

(45) Susan, 4/4/2008
It's All Wrong - The Bar is Level
I agree that it's all wrong. But I don't want to speak gossip about David Letterman. That is also wrong.

Spitzer by virtue of WHO he is and the position he holds should be always alert not to make even a small misstep. What he did over a long term series of events was calculating, selfish, deceitful, dishonest, immoral, and a slap in the face to all Jews. He planned in detail the wrongs he did and would still be satisfying his perversions if he hadn't been found out. <--my own opnion)

I should not judge him. I don't know how much damage he has caused to his family and friends. Or to his office with the State. How much damage he has caused to me by being connected to him through Judiasm.

HOWEVER: gam zu le' tovah

I can not see ahead, into the future. Might some greater good come from this disgrace? Will other Jewish men in positions of power increase their awareness of how they conduct their personal lives? Might it cause them to be even more vigilant than they are?
Will someone question Lettermans rant, and cause him to rethink his way of life? I don't know. We would want both men to amend their choices.

I am older and I don't see that the bar has been lowered.

(44) zamaaz, 4/4/2008
responsibility

I agree with Lori's response questioning Letterman's actuation submitting Gov. Spitzer to untowards public humiliation, I also recognized the right of Letterman to adversely react to the scandal considering Spitzer as a public servant having access to public funds. I donot condemn these two people on their personal decisions, based on our concept of morality...but certainly this was a lesson for all of us particularly among the Jews. If you are holding very sensitive responsibility particularly public trust, see to its that you do not blemish your personaly and community integrity.

Regarding moral standards, what can you expect from hollywood's standards, and if they are badly influencing the american schools, what can you expect from a society that started to turn it back against the knowledge of God?

Perhaps, all we can do is simply wait and be ready for God's visitations like hurricane Katrina.

(43) mom, 3/4/2008
Elliot Spitzer
Good one, Lori. Lederman doesn't qualify under the admonishment, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone".

(42) Anonymous, 3/4/2008
Comments 1, 2, 3
Lori, I look forward to your videos every week. Thank you for being so honest and sincere. I think that some of the comments submitted to you were totally off base. They have it all wrong. Yes he was a governor, and yes he made mistakes, but I think what Lori is saying is that David Letterman(who is not so perfect himself)is pointing his finger very seriously at Spitzer, and magnifying the situation because he is a Jew. There are and have been numerous government officials, and politicians who have abused their power in this very same way. With money, with prostitutes, etc. Were they the topic of talk show hosts comedic lines? Yes. But to sit down seriously and continue to berate Spitzer was taking it too far. I am sure that you could count at least 6 different public figures who have committed far worse, but because Elliot Spitzer is a Jew, the media is having a field day with this. Thank you Lori.

(41) Elam, 3/4/2008
I understand the point you are making here Lori....
Some of these comments are contra to the specific point Lori makes. She is not quoting the Christians when she points out that David Letterman is a sinful person too...." let he among you who has not sinned cast the first stone." Here, Lori is just pointing out that if you are a public figure ... the bar doesn't necessarily get to be adjustable for you. And, I agree that the moral bar has definitely been lowered over the years in America. Especially with respect to celebraties. We should all pay close attention to the lessons our Jewish teachers like Lori are trying to get accross to us .... there is great wisdom in her simple point. Letterman has no room to beat this drum over and over for the sake of ratings .... he makes us all look bad.
You get through to most of us Lori ... and you are appreciated.

(40) Anonymous, 2/4/2008
How are they to learn that that it's all wrong?
Lori
I consistently find your video blogs insightful and challenging. In this case, I was challenged to ask a few questions back to you.

Where can these men, or for that matter our society, find the guidelines that define what is right, what is wrong, what is righteous, or what is unrighteous?

How are supposed to know "that it is all wrong?"

Who is teaching them?

Who should be teaching them?

(39) Mike, 2/4/2008
There is a difference.
I do not condone David Letterman's life style nor do I watch his show. Frankly, I find most comedians to be obnoxious, including the Jewish ones. However, you cannot really compare Letterman to Spitzer. Eliot Spitzer was the attorney general, New York's TOP COP. He took an oath to uphold the laws of the state of New York, Letterman did not. Spitzer was bringing charges against prostitution rings, while at the same time, protecting his favorite prostitutes. Spitzer did not just make a bad choice, he broke the law and did so repeatedly over many years. David Letterman may be doing the the wrong thing by fathering a child out of wedlock, but he has not broken the law, he has not misused his position, he has not misused public funds, he has not prosecuted others (ruining their lives in the process)and he has not caused emotional pain to the people in his life.

(38) Sarah, 2/4/2008
Re: Comment #24
As always, Lori is a joy and an education to listen to. I just wonder why comment #24 castigates Letterman on the idea that his common law wife may not be Jewish when the former NY governor's wife is not and therefore his three daughters are not either. The newspapers have reported that Spitzer and his wife were married in a civil ceremony and before his first trip to Israel he had to be briefed on why American Jews have such a strong connection to our beloved homeland. And we should remember that Letterman can still make his relationship kosher; it's never too late for them to be married. Spitzer can never undo the humiliation to his wife and family and to us as Jews.

(37) Anonymous, 2/4/2008
Great truthful article,
Thank you lori Palatnik for not backing down or looking the other way. You are courgous. Thanks Aish for publishing it.

(36) Ma. del Consuelo de Sabre, 2/4/2008
D.L.
Keep on sending those important comments!!!vWe need people like you!!

You know? That is why the world is going down.

It is a desgrace that our young people are watching those programs.

(35) debra, 2/4/2008

Why is David seen as a bad person just because he isn't married to the mother of his child? Judging him is not our job. I think the problem with society is not the mentality people have about marriage, but the fact that people are more obsessed with other people's lives inseatd of educating their children to live a proper life.

(34) Anonymous, 2/4/2008
Is David Letterman not worse?
While you say both Elliot Spitzer and David Letterman's actions are wrong, allow me to explore if David Letterman's conduct isn't morally worse. Let's get to the bottom of both events. Elliot Spitzer's made a mistake that hurt both his family and the state he represented and governed. David Letterman chooses to live unmarried to his girlfriend and chose to have a child out of wedlock. While I do not condone Elliot Spitzer's actions, when you compare him to David Letterman you'll notice Elliot Spitzer regrettably fell prey to temptation. Over time, his behavior turned into a bad habit that spiraled out of control. Elliot Spitzer probably knew what he was doing was wrong and beneath him all along. On the other hand, David Letterman's morals are out of whack. He chose his morally indecent lifestyle and believes all along that it is a sensible and practical "alternative" way of life.

(33) Anonymous, 2/4/2008
Individual Humans Should be Judged Similarly Regardless of Job
I've noticed many comments about how Spitzer should be judged differently than Letterman because he was a governor. Being a Governor doesn't necessarily assume more greatness of values and morals. We are all accountable to G-d regardless of our job. Marriage precedes sexual relations and certainly fatherhood. These are things that are 'born' of a deep and solid COMMITMENT! No two separate people should be bringing a child into this world without a fim COMMITMENT to being a couple, and joint parents. The first sign of the responsibility necessary for relations and parenthood is MATURE, HONEST COMMITMENT!!

(32) Batsheva, 2/4/2008
marriage
Many of the comments reflect a basic lack of understanding as towhat marriage is all about. It's not just a promise to stay together and faithful till death do us part. It is not just a piece of paper or a legal technicality to facilitate a physical relationship. It is a true union of two halves coming together to form one entity, and from there one can build a family. (This space is far too small to get down to the heart of the matter, but you can check out all the great articles and audio classes on Aish for a through treatment of the topic!) Society, with plenty of help from Hollywood, has made marriage into a trivial and not always necessary step and thereby lowered the morality bar. Two wrongs do not make a right, and neither does the governor's very wrong make Letterman's wrong right.

(31) Albert Torsak, 2/4/2008
Important
Lori,
Its important for us to take a stand for morality, Keep up the great work,GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY...
BEST REGARDS,
Kentucky Colonel Albert J. Torsak Jr.

(30) Anonymous, 2/4/2008
you can't be serious
You are comparing apples to oranges. The Governor commited adultry. Do you really think that and Lettermans baby are the same thing?

(29) Anonymous, 1/4/2008
So fatherhood is as immoral as adultery???
All said David Letterman is still a mensh and Gov. Spitzer will forever be known as a no-goodnik/schmegegee. Don't forget that the governor added insult to injury by having his betrayed wife stand alongside him on public display, further dishonoring her. But let's not get too self-righteous here. Do you really believe that the kings of Israel were married by a rabbi as monogamous virgins who never fathered a child out of wedlock?

(28) Cohen Rusk, 1/4/2008
Shell Game
I am speechless. Well, as much as I can be... but in a good way.

Isn't it strange, i.e., the shell game that persons of Letterman's moral persuasion partake in as a last resort.

That is to say, on some level, I believe Letterman is saying the same to us who hold to traditional views of morality: How dare we judge Dave living in a "relationship" when someone who subscribes to our standards -- that is, Mayor Spitzer -- is obviously a much worse person than David could possibly ever be.

But the problem with his morality is not that it is different from ours; but that it is a morality with a self-imposed double standard in cases where he happens to disagree with the Law.

I believe that this is Mr. Letterman's sincere attempt to appease his conscience by pointing out what appear to be even worse transgressions than his own.

Perhaps, we should take heart in the hope that this may be a manifestation of Letterman's struggle with his conscience.

Let's daven that the All Mighty will help him see through his deceitful heart and be honest with himself about his own situation and the future of his child.

On the other hand, I rarely agree with anything he says when it comes ethical matters. Tell jokes Dave. What is this,the old time gospel hour?

(27) Iris, 1/4/2008
Big difference between Spitzer and Letterman
There is a world of difference between Spitzer violating his marriage vows and participating in prostitution. If you remember, as Attorney General he prosecuted prostitutes and johns. He is a hypocrit of the first order.

Letterman is in a committed relationship with the mother of his child. They are a family in every sense of the word. The fact that they don't have a piece of paper legally binding them is no one's business but their own. I have absolutely no problem with Letterman and his lady love and neither should anyone else.

(26) Joey, 1/4/2008
It's true
Not to imply that someone like Mr. Letterman has committed as serious a sin as Gov. Spitzer, but it is true, the moral bar as definitely gotten lower over the years. It occurs to me that, for the dominant society, the list of sexual sins pretty much only includes adultery, prostitution, necrophilia, bestiality and pedophilia, and even these are beginning to slip. Just today I read an article in a university student paper, opining about the Spitzer situation that prostitution should be legal, while arrangements like "open marriages" have been around since the '70s. That article I mentioned commented that in a few decades, people will be shocked that these days someone had to resign over something as trivial as prostitution, and unfortunately, I think the writer may be right.

God bless.

(25) Stephanie, 1/4/2008
Not sure I agree...
If David Letterman does to his long term mate what the NY governor did to his constituents and family, I will be more comfortable casting a stone at Letterman for anything.

Letterman may not be "married" with a piece of paper or under a chuppa, but it seems he is committed and I am assuming, faithful, to the mother of his child.

Yes, television helps people become more comfortable with "the wrong things". But just as Letterman shouldn't be judging the gov., who says Lori or anyone else should judge anyone?

peace

(24) Gary H, 1/4/2008
The Best of the Best
Lori is the best blogger on this site. She brings consistenly good material, never an off week!

She is full of surprises too! When she said that not long ago David Letterman became a father, I thought Lori was going to say "this is what happens when you become a parent, you cannot contain your anger at someone who's immoral and you call it out, this is what a Jew should do." And I think it would have made sense if she said that, and that's what I expected, but you cannot ever tell what Lori is thinking! She defies Hollywood story conventions. You think you know what's going to be said, but it goes another way. BRavo!

(23) Steven Kalka, 1/4/2008
David Letterman's comments
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. What makes David Letterman so noble? What a pompous fool!

(22) Betti, 1/4/2008

I just love what you have to say. Thanks

(21) Elonna, 1/4/2008
Letterman vs. Spitzer
Letterman didn't spend half his life lecturing people against having a child out of wedlock, then turn around and do just that. I don't think less of Letterman. You don't need a marriage license to be a family. Letterman takes care of his family, I'm sure. Spitzer is the disgrace here. He made his career on "cleaning up" NY. He says one thing in public, then does something else behind closed doors. I don't know why Letterman got seriously harsh. Perhaps he donated lots of money to Spitzer in the past?! Anyway, there's really no comparison. Letterman is a comic. The public expected a lot more from Spitzer.

(20) Anonymous, 1/4/2008
loss of values in society/how true
excellent comments however may I recommend you watch Fox and not an anti-semetic station such as cnn.

(19) Elana, 1/4/2008
The Governer is Wrong!!
I'm upset that people are "defending" the governer for what he did. It is a mistake? What? He is the one who took such a strong stand on these matters, and to blatantly go against what he "preaches" is beyond horrible. That is why people are so upset about the situation. Who he was and what he represented!

(18) Jed Marlin, 1/4/2008
Spitzer and Letterman not equally wrong
I reject equating prostitution with motherhood.
Let Letterman try to disavow his child and/or his common law wife and see what would happen in the eyes of the law. He's married by common law. Spitzer, on the other hand, broke laws, while prosecuting other men for breaking those same laws.
You would hold the Governor to the same standards as a comedian?

(17) Martin Lackner, 1/4/2008
If one is in love...One commits as is traditional
This trend in tody'a america is leading us on the wrong path. Marriage is simply a promise, a commitment. It is more diffiult to cheat in side marriage than outside when there are no strings attached.

(16) Moishe Neuer, 1/4/2008
Our bar moves/Letterman & Spitzer not parallel
Every one sins, but Letterman's having a child with a woman with whom he is in a committed relationship is not the same as Spitzer's transgressions. Do not forget that one is a comedian, the other a former attorney-general and governor.

As to the immovable bar:in Judaism, concubinage was once practised. No more.Polygamy--no more. Marriage by sexual relations, permitted in the Mishna, also abolished by the rabbis. So our bar also moves--upwards, we hope.

(15) Anonymous, 1/4/2008
thank you
I enjoyed these couple of minutes more than so many useless information I receive too often

(14) D. Pressler, 1/4/2008
David Letterman
Sorry... We must agree to disagree. This is the US, remember? Free speech, etc. ??? You missed the point the Mr. Letterman was making and focused on something else altogether while losing the root issue. You should have chosen another subject to talk about.

(13) Anonymous, 1/4/2008
feeling prickly
are we being overly sensitive because spitzer is a jew?...do we have to point out someone elses sins to feel better about a prominent citizen, who happens to be jewish, who publicly scandalized himself and his family and who professed to be the answer to some of society's ills? spitzer made a mockery of himself and his profession..he lost sight of his responsibility to the people. don't judge him or letterman!

(12) Alan R., 1/4/2008
Right idea, got the approach all wrong.
Lori, With all due respect, you sound like a tabloid journalist from the frum community. "Can you believe what David Letterman did?" Substitute David Letterman with Rabbi X, or your neighbor etc. Then it would sound like Lashon Hara. While I agree that having a child out of wedlock is not the best thing, he did live with her for many, many years, potentially constituting an acceptable marriage by shear display of time and commitment. It sounds like he took the right stand regarding Spitzer. Just cause Spitzer's a Jew, does not make him immune. I think a more positive spin on your part would have been to take the moral high road yourself and instead of trashing Letterman, point out the lessons we as Jews can learn. No one is perfect, what Spitzer did was wrong, but why not discuss what Judaism has to say about it and not what David Letterman has to say about it.

(11) MS, 1/4/2008
Re: Comment #1 - Letterman is loyal?
If Letterman was loyal to the woman he's living with he would marry her. How could he live with her for years, have a child with her, and not be willing to make his "loyalty" official. He could walk out on her and the child whenever he wants. I don't even know if his significant other is Jewish, but if she isn't - what kind of loyalty is that? To sever his line with Jewish history and prevent the birth of generations of Jews by fathering a non-Jew instead? Is that loyal to his people, his family, his God?

(10) what else is new, 1/4/2008
good point , but
what's your point?

we all know the bar is going down. what else is new ?

(9) Solveig, 1/4/2008

Bless you for holding up the standard we all, consciously or unconsciously, know to be right.

(8) Anonymous, 1/4/2008
Loyalty, not documentation, is the issue
Lori,

David Letterman isn't married to the woman with whom he has a child, but he has been living with her and loving her loyally for many, many years. I think there is an enormous gap between loyalty without a legal document and lack of loyalty with that very same document.

(7) Anonymous, 1/4/2008
Such Top-Line Analysis Misses the Point
To compare intentionally and positively having a child (in or out of marriage) with cheating on your spouse and consorting with prostitutes is the very type of reductivist analysis that drives people away from religion. In fact, such an approach is really no different from when one of my high school rabbis told me that shaving with a razor is the same as eating a cheeseburger. Such a proclamation was stupid then and it is stupid now. Our educators need to be more careful, since observance is not a zero-sum game -- a point that I thought Aish would be far more sensitive to.

(6) Pascale, 1/4/2008
Thank you Lori!
Dear Lori, Thank you for telling it as it is. I have been feeling terrible for the Governor.It is not because he did something wrong, veru wrong that we should judge him. Sometimes one raises thanks to one's errors,and I hope it will be his case. It is very difficult to have one's private life discussed in public, and to be ridiculed by people just for the sake of it. I wish more people would internalise the perek that goes: Let the honor of your friend be as dear to you as yours...

(5) Donna, 31/3/2008
Lori gets MY ratings vote!
Couldn't have said it any better myself! Thanks Lori, I love listening to you each week - thanks for having the courage to "say it as it really is" in a public forum. You go girl!

(4) Richard, 30/3/2008
Todah
Todah for your remarks. You are right on target. Thank you for pointing out the hypocrosy in the attitudes of people in regards to ethics and morality. Torah upholds all that is just and truth.

(3) Wayne, 30/3/2008
The governor was a man first, and men sin.
Why trounce a man because he is weak? What happened to helping your brother up when he stumbles? King David was a mighty king. Yet he was also a man. Thank the L_RD that we can forgive one another.

(2) Anonymous, 30/3/2008
one step at a time
You're right. Everything has become relative, and we've forgotten that some things are just wrong. But, if someone does something wrong, what then? Some things must be lived with throughout our life, never mind that we've tried to do teshuva. So, if Letterman is a father, at least he's taking responsibility for that fact, and will, hopefully, act right from here on. I know you're saying that one of the problems is that he doesn't see it as a problem. But, one step at a time. Maybe being a father will help him understand, as he watches the child grow and tries to teach the child right and wrong.

(1) Rosen, 30/3/2008
adding insult to injury
You're absolutely correct, Lori. Like what you said a couple months ago "it's none of their business."

What happened to Gov. Spitzer was bad enough and not good for the Jews, but it certainly is adding insult to injury to come up with such comedic material that involves denigration of someone's character.

As for what's right and wrong, it has been getting more bleak and grey over the past couple of decades, because it appears that society is dumbing down and lowering their standards on what's appropriate. Additionally, many smart people are starting to feel that there is a discrepancy between the law and what is right and moral.