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Torah With Morrie #4: Live Like You're Dying
by Rabbi Boruch Leff
Living life urgently, intensely and purposefully.

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Someday we are all going to die. Even though we all know it, most of us spend our lives pretending as if we will live forever. Who wants to deal with their eventual demise?

Facing death is frightful not only because we have to give up everything we love in this world, but because we are forced to confront the fear of the unknown.

As Francis Bacon once said, "Men fear death as children fear to go into the dark."

Judaism has a different perspective on death. The Torah actually states that death is a good thing:

"God saw all that He created and behold, it was very good." (Genesis 1:31)

"Rabbi Meir said: 'it was very good' refers to death." (Midrash Rabbah 9:5)

"Better the day of death than the day of birth." (Kohelet 7:1)

Why is death associated with something good? Death is part of life, but a good part of life?

When Morrie Schwartz was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), Lou Gehrig's disease, a fatal and ruthless illness of the neurological system, he began to tackle his own imminent death in a realistic, powerful, and courageous way:

'Do I wither up and disappear, or do I make the most out of my time left?' . . . He told his friends that if they really wanted to help him, they would treat him not with sympathy but with visits, phone calls, a sharing of their problems, the way they had always shared their problems, because Morrie had been a wonderful listener. . . He was intent on proving that dying was not synonymous with useless. . .

'Am I going to withdraw from the world, like most people do, or am I going to live? I decided I'm going to live, or at least try to live, the way I want, with dignity, with courage, with humor, with composure.'.

'Dying is only one thing to be sad over, Mitch. Living unhappily is something else. So many people who come to visit me are unhappy.'

(Tuesdays with Morrie)

Because Morrie knew he only had a short amount of time left, he wanted to live life to its fullest. He wished to pack into his remaining months as much love and friendship as possible. He would not allow his dire situation to make him unhappy and bring him into depression. He was living urgently, intensely and purposefully because he understood that he would die very soon.

Like Morrie, we should all live urgently, intensely and purposefully because, when you think about it, we all have a "fatal disease" -- life itself. No one knows how long he or she will live. To get the most out of life we should all live as if we were dying, because the truth is, we are.

"Look at three things and you won't come to sin... where you are going [to the grave] (Ethics of the Fathers, 3:1).

Ethics of the Fathers does not say where you will be going in the future, but where you are already going. From the time we are born, we begin a journey whose destination is our eventual death and entry into the afterlife. That's why we must make the most out of every single day of our lives.

As the Talmud states:

Rabbi Eliezer said: Repent one day before your death. His students asked him, 'Does a person know when his day of death will occur?' He answered them, 'Then he should repent today, perhaps he will die tomorrow! Thus, all his days will be full of repentance!

This is what King Solomon said in Kohelet (9:8): 'Your clothing should be white at all times.'... There is an allegory which illustrates this. A king invited his servants to a grand feast but did not inform them when the feast was to transpire. The smart ones dressed in their finest clothes and prepared themselves by waiting outside the palace's entrance. The foolish ones remained in their common clothes and continued to engage in their own pursuits, thinking they had plenty of time. Suddenly, the king asked for all to attend, and only the smart ones were asked to sit, eat, drink, and enjoy." (Paraphrased from Shabbat 153a)

Life is one long preparation for a big feast with the Master of the World. We could be called to attend this feast at any time; none of us know our day of death. If we are one of the smart ones, we will live each day in preparation, urgently, intensely and purposefully.

Death is good because it puts a limit on the number of days we have to accomplish our goals. If we were given an infinite amount of time in this world, most of us would never be driven to attain anything. We would always feel that we have so much more time to complete our tasks. Knowing that our days are numbered, we are motivated to strive for greatness.

This is the explanation for the time-honored Jewish custom of reciting the 'Modeh Ani'' prayer upon waking up every morning:

"I thank You, Living and Enduring King, for You have returned my soul to me, great is Your faithfulness!"

We declare that we do not take life for granted. We realize that sometimes people die in their sleep and, upon waking, we acknowledge God's kindness in permitting us to live another day.

Life is short. Let's make sure we live each day with urgency, purpose and meaning.


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VISITORS COMMENTS: 8

(8) Yisraela, 27/2/2008
todah
Encouraging article on dying to live and living to die. Todah. My friend just completed her earthly life and died in pain and seemingly without shalom. She had been given a glimpse of eternity but five weeks in a hospice house and there was such a struggle with the letting go to die. Even when one says they are ready to go, would this struggle be from the pain?

(7) Merlock, 16/4/2005

A good point. Death is important to help give life meaning. Hmm. With this in mind, maybe I should stop spending so much time on the computer reading religious articles...nah. Anyway, God bless you all!

(6) chana Sharfstein, 1/4/2005
I liked it and "grabbed the moment" to let you know- Thanks
I fully agree with your very uplifting article. Often people actually sleepwalk through life, not really noticing or being aware of what is there around us. With Pessach, the Festival of Freedom and Spring, the reawakening of nature, we should make an extra effort to enjoy the beauty around us. Looking at the little buds, watching leaves uncurl- that is a reaffirmation of the continuity of life. make every moment count and life thereby becomes ever so much richer. When we say a friendly hello, when we smile, when we " stop to smell the roses", life becomes more satisfying and meaningful. We are told to serve Hashem with joy- let's fill our time with positive outlook- our life will be richer and at the same time we will spread happiness around us. Time is of great value- that's why being PUNCTUAL is very important. We should never take precious time from others for the moment gone never returns. It's not a great poem, but I like the following few lines- Yesterday is History, tomorrow is a mystery, Today is a gift- that is why it is called THE PRESENT. May all our days be filled with joy and meaning. Thanks for your timely reminder.

(5) Bill, 29/3/2005

A relative of mine said that when his son was born, he (the son) was very sick, and the father was thinking "You know, I'm 29. I've at least done a lot of stuff in my life. Maybe I also haven't done a lot of stuff I should have, but I've done a lot of things. Here's this newborn boy, he hasn't had a chance." (I should not that the son lived, thank G-d)This relative was commenting on how sad it is when young people die since they've had no chance to really live. A young person in my community recently passed away.
Anything can happen, althouth we hope it won't happen to us.





About the author:

Rabbi Boruch Leff

Rabbi Boruch Leff is a vice-principal at Torah Institute in Baltimore and is the author of the Kol Yaakov column at Aish.com. His book, "Forever His Students" (Targum/Feldheim) contains practical and powerful contemporary insights, inspired by the teachings of Rabbi Yaakov Weinberg, of blessed memory.


The book has a brand new topical thematic arrangement designed to better your spiritual growth. It also includes some essays and many explanatory footnotes that do not appear at aish.com.

He has written two more books since: Shabbos in My Soul, which describes 70 ways to experience a meaningful Shabbat, and a second volume More Shabbos In My Soul.


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