Beshalach(Exodus 13:17-17:16)

Self-Confidence

"The cook is the mind, and the ingredients are decisions. The dish is self-confidence, and the one who eats is the heart.

"The dish is ruined if not fully cooked, and if the cook puts nothing in the pot, what is there to eat?"

In this week's Parsha, the Jewish People have just left Egypt...

"God spoke to Moses, saying, 'Speak to the Jewish People and tell them to turn back and camp before the bay of Chirot, between Migdol and the sea, facing Bal Tzafon. Camp opposite it, near the sea. Pharaoh will then say that the Jewish people are lost in the area and trapped in the desert. I will harden Pharaoh's heart and he will come after them. I will triumph over Pharaoh and his entire army, and Egypt will know that I am God....'" (Exodus 14:1-4)

God tells the Jewish people to fake as if they're lost in the desert. This way, Pharaoh and the Egyptians could convince themselves that the plagues were not the hand of God, but were some kind of magic performance by Moses. This is God's way of giving Pharaoh yet another opportunity to blunder.

Pharaoh's blind hatred pushes him toward tragic consequences. On seeing this apparent confusion in the Jewish camp, he immediately jumps to the wrong conclusion (verses 5-9). This is a lesson we could well heed: "Often the path of the righteous appears as a path of fools."

"The king of Egypt received the news that the Jewish People had fled. Pharaoh and his officials changed their minds regarding the people, saying, 'What have we done? How could we have released the Jews from slavery?' Pharaoh harnessed his chariot and summoned his people to go with him. He took 600 chariots with chosen crews, as well as the entire chariot corps of Egypt, with supporting infantry for them all. God hardened the heart of Pharaoh, King of Egypt, and he went after the Jewish People... The Egyptians overtook them while they were encamping by the sea, at the bay of Chirot, opposite Bal Tzafon. All of Pharaoh's chariot horses, cavalry and infantry were there." (Exodus 14:5-9)

This is the climax we've been waiting for. The Jews cooperate with God's request, and place themselves in a compromising position so that the Egyptians would chase them. They only had to wait for God to save them and destroy the Egyptians. They were completely in the hands of God, as they had been all along. With all they had recently seen of God's power, they surely had nothing to fear.

"As Pharaoh came close, the Jewish People looked up. They saw the Egyptians marching at their rear and the people became very frightened. The Jews cried out to God. They said to Moses, 'Weren't there enough graves in Egypt? Why did you have to bring us out here to die in the desert? How could you do such a thing to us, bringing us out of Egypt? Didn't we tell you in Egypt to leave us alone and let us work for the Egyptians? It would have been better to be slaves in Egypt than to die (here) in the desert!'" (Exodus 14:10-12)

What went wrong? In the end, the Jews in fact did fear the approaching Egyptians! How do we understand the Jewish fear when they had agreed to be the bait for Pharaoh's destruction? How could the Jewish people have forgotten the great powers that God had shown them in Egypt? Didn't they remember that God had just told them He would save them? Did they think that God would 'set them up' just to have them killed by the Egyptians? Did they think that God would orchestrate the entire Exodus from Egypt just to have them killed once they left?

This scenario plays out in our own lives as well. It may not be as dramatic as the Jewish People's escape from Egypt. But the experience is the same: In the calm and quiet, we commit to being the cheese in the trap. But when the rat approaches, the cheese begins to crumble. We've all made commitments in the calm of a comfortable arm chair, only to lose our initial enthusiasm when the consequences of those commitments become clear.

How many decisions have we made, only to look back a year or more later and say, 'how naive we were'? It's easy to make decisions. But keeping that commitment is difficult - because we are fighting the strength of our heart and emotions.

We make decisions with our mind (intellect). Only later do we battle with our heart (emotions). The solution? We have to involve our heart at the beginning. The heart and mind is a partnership. Would you buy a house without the agreement of your spouse? Don't make choices without the agreement of your heart.

Don't think this means we should make decisions with the heart alone. The mind has to lead the way. The mind is the best tool for the job. But don't neglect the heart. Get it to agree, by showing it the advantages of your decision.

Remember the Golden Rule: Never break a commitment because of your heart's complaint. If you do, your heart will never take you seriously again. If you always keep your commitments you will gain an inner feeling of self-respect and confidence.

Furthermore, when your heart is naturally in on every decision, it 'knows' it's serious. But if you don't follow through on a decision, then the heart says, "Why bother making a fuss now, I'll wait until it gets difficult. Then I will just puff a little, and he will give in." Your heart is the seat of emotions. If your heart thinks you are not serious, if your heart has no confidence in you, then that is the emotion you will feel. In modern lexicon, this is called "low self esteem."

If you want your heart to have confidence in your mind, you have to start by following the decisions of your mind. And if you really want to gain self confidence, don't avoid making decisions, look for them.

BRAINSTORMING QUESTIONS TO PONDER

Question 1: What is the most difficult decision you ever made? Did you ever regret making it?

Question 2: What was the biggest decision you ever failed to make and now wished you had made? Why didn't you make that decision?

Question 3: Ten years from now, what decision will you regret not having made? What's holding you back from making it?