Trumah(Exodus 25:1-27:19)

Looking Out for Number One

"As a torch is not diminished though it lights a million candles, so he who gives to a good cause will not lose." (Midrash, Exodus Rabba 31)

People today are really into self-sacrifice. Some sacrifice for a cause, some for money, some a career, some for relationships. But how come nobody is sacrificing for himself?!

One of the basic concepts of Jewish philosophy is that whatever we choose to do in life, it should be because we want to do it. God tells Abraham to "go for yourself"(Genesis 12:1). God is telling Abraham to "go only if you truly believe it's the right thing for yourself. A person's own wishes should not be inconsistent with God's!

THE PATH YOU CHOOSE

Following a path because it's the one we wish to tread sounds easier than it is. We may even think we're already doing it. But upon closer inspection, we'll see how difficult it really is to live a life free from outside pressures.

These pressures and influences can take many forms. For example, parents who have a definitive picture of what their child should be. Or societal pressure to fit into the norm and be accepted. There is also pressure we place on ourselves: Our own desires can push us to actions that we have not fully thought through - and eventually regret.

Life is not lived in a vacuum. When we fail to define the direction we wish to go, other people will fill the void and direct our lives. (That's one of the basics of capitalism!) If we don't decide what we want, someone else will. The world is not waiting for us to decide who we want to be. It's already decided for you. Because if you don't figure out what kind of life you want, then you will live a life of someone else's choosing.

God tells Avraham that to achieve fulfillment, a human being has to make his own decisions. Whatever you do, do it because it's what you want. Don't let family, society, or your own desires tell you what to do. Do it because you want, not because others will like you, others will tell you how good you are, or even your desire tells you how happy you will be.

DESIRES ARE NOT US

How are our desires "not us?"

Imagine it's 5:00 o'clock in the morning and you have to get out of bed to get to work. It's dark, cold and rainy. The heating in you apartment is not working. Your shoes are at the other end of the room and you have to walk bare foot on a freezing cold floor. The only place that's warm is under the covers ... where you are right now. The following exchange takes place between "your desire" and "you:"

"Stay in bed, you deserve it," your desire says.
"No, I have an appointment this morning, I must get up!"you answer.
"No one goes to work on a cold day like this; you'll be the only one in the office."
"But I'll never succeed if I sleep in!"

What do you do? Who do you listen to? Sometimes it's even confusing to determine who is who! The desire often doesn't identify itself, in fact it nearly always says it's the real you!

You decide to stay in bed. You reason that if you were to place one foot on the floor, the extreme cold would probably freeze your foot to the marble and from there you would catch pneumonia. You would be found weeks later, dead and frozen solid. Even though it is a great sacrifice, you save your life and stay in bed.

You phone the office and tell them you've stayed home due to a threat of pneumonia. A few hours later, you get up, have some lunch, read the paper ... and start to think over your decision. Now reality hits: You stayed in bed because of the weather! In 10 minutes you would have been warm. Instead you wasted the whole day!

It's easy to let your desire tell you what to do. And there are hundreds of examples like this happening all the time.

We have to live according to what we want and not according to our desires. Anything less is masochistic. Could your business survive as long as you have been living, with as little return on investment as you have been getting?

A SEEMING CONTRADICTION

"Charity is the tree of life." (Zohar, Behar 111a)

In the opening lines of this week's Parsha we have an instruction that seems to contradict this Jewish concept of selfishness. The parsha begins: "Speak to the Jewish people and have them TAKE FOR ME (God) an offering" (Exodus 25:2). Just as Abraham was instructed to "go for yourself" shouldn't the Torah have written here "take for yourselves?"

And furthermore, why does it say "take for Me an offering?" Don't we usually "give" to another?

The Torah is telling us a profound insight: Whenever we give to another, it's really "taking" for ourselves. The giver gains from the giving far more than the one who receives!

This makes sense. When we buy something at a store, we don't see the transaction as a loss, but rather that we gained something of value. The money we gave up was the necessary sacrifice to obtain the item we wanted.

Giving to people is exactly the same as buying something for ourselves. When we give, we are 'buying' the opportunity to help another person. Giving has a price, and the giver is willing to pay it in exchange for something valuable. What he gave up was not as pleasurable as what he received (i.e. the pleasure of giving).

In truth, the analogy is not exact. For example, when we buy a pen, the cost is usually equal to it's value. But when we buy someone flowers, help a poor person on the street, or support a worthy cause, what we receive is far beyond the price. He who gives gains far more than he who receives. That's the meaning of the verse in our parsha: "Take for (yourselves by giving to) Me".

When Monobaz the King distributed to charity all of his treasures, his angry relatives demanded an explanation. He answered, "My fathers hoarded on earth, I hoard in Heaven. My fathers hoarded in a place where a hand can reach, I hoard in a place where no hand can reach. My fathers hoarded a thing which does not bear fruit, I hoard a thing which bears fruit. My fathers hoarded a treasure for monetary gains, I hoard treasures of the spirit. My fathers hoarded for others, I have hoarded for myself. My fathers hoarded in this world, I hoard in the world-to-Come." (Talmud Bava Basra 11a)

THE ULTIMATE SELFISHNESS

If everything we do in life should be for ourselves, what is the ultimate selfishness?

To do something because it gives us the greatest meaning.

Why do people work so hard for ends they never receive? Why don't people live life now? Why is everyone saving for retirement, looking toward the "golden years?" We work hard at our jobs for some future goal. And when we achieve them, we take on new goals. Few of us stop and say: "Okay, I've achieved my goal, now I'm going to live!"

A big misnomer people have is thinking that if they were rich, or if they got the degree or if they got the great job, etc. they would suddenly start living now. Most of us believe there is "something" that if it ever happens, we would stop living for the future and start living for today. It might be winning the lottery, getting married, having children, whatever.

Perhaps we are obsessed with finding goals to live for -so that we won't have to think about enjoying life today! The pain and effort of trying to enjoy life now is too difficult!

Rav Chana bar Chamilai employed 60 bakers by day and 60 bakers by night, to supply bread for the needy.

He always kept his hand in his pocket, for he said, "In order that a poor person shouldn't be embarrassed while I fumble for money.

Four gates were open in his house to the four winds of heaven, and anyone who entered hungry left sated. And in the years of drought, he placed wheat and barley outside his home so those who were ashamed to take during the daytime could come and take at night. (Talmud Brachot 58b)

BRAINSTORMING QUESTIONS TO PONDER

Question 1:  Name three things you did this week that were motivated by "desire." Name three things that you did because you "wanted" to.

Question 2:  Do three things this month that are more generous than you are normally accustomed. At the end of the month look back and see who gained more, you or the recipients.

Question 3:  Every day next week, give something to a different person. At the end of the week, look back and see how it affected your mood.

Question 4:  What did you do today that gave you immediate pleasure?