Vayakhel(Exodus 35:1-38:20)

Celibacy

"To love God, one must first love man. If anyone tells you that he loves God but does not love his fellow man, he is lying."
--  Divrei Chassidim

Imagine the ultimate "holy person", the devotee of God. One cannot help but picture a serene monk or a genial nun - celibate and ascetic. Devotion to God and abstinence from physical pursuits seem to go hand in hand. This is the lifestyle of the holy, the true path toward finding God. God, it seems, can only relate to those who have separated themselves from such worldly involvement.

Brainstorm this one: According to this philosophy, God chose the wrong method by which to populate the earth. The world would be a much 'holier' place if we'd all popped off trees!

HAPPY MONKS AND LAUGHING NUNS

In one sense, the film industry has done a great disservice to its audience. Movies have a unique ability to portray a murderer as "caring," or a bank robber as "generous." The actor simply smiles and chuckles as he lets forth on his sub-machine gun.

We intuitively sense that a human being cannot live a meaningful life while hurting others. But the movie screen blurs and changes that image. It can show people doing all kinds of unthinkable crimes; then they go home and have a 'meaningful life.' It makes a person wonder... "I want to be happy and fulfilled; why can't I rape and pillage and be happy, too?!"

Hollywood shows us other distorted images as well. This is the person who is seemingly full of joy and meaning, who always has a wise word to say, and who never gets angry. Who is this person? It's the Hollywood version of monks and nuns. The subliminal message is that "abstinence" opens you up to the meaning of life.

THE DIGNITY OF SEX

Judaism, refreshingly, has always maintained that - rather than being a necessary evil - sex can be an act of extreme holiness.

One classic example is in this week's Parsha. The Jewish People in the desert construct a wash basin for the Mishkan, the portable Sanctuary (Exodus 38:8). It is through this basin that the priests purify their hands and feet in preparation for performing the holy service. Or as Rabbi Shimshon Rafael Hirsch (19^th century Germany) explains: The washing symbolizes, the moral "keeping holy" of one's actions and efforts.

But there's more written between the lines. The basin was made out of mirrors contributed by Jewish women. These were the same mirrors that were used by the women in Egypt to adorn themselves to entice their husbands, who would have been otherwise too tired after a day of slave labor to be involved with their wives. Through this, many children were born and so ensured the future of the Jewish people. One may have thought that an instrument so closely related to the sex act has no place in the house of God. But as Rashi explains, "God said to Moshe, 'These are dearer to Me than all the other contributions...'" (Rashi, Exodus 38:8).

Subjects such as mathematics and geometry are often taught in schools, but our education in love, dating and sex is more often than not learned on the streets or from Hollywood. The permissive society didn't elevate sex, it only made it more available. It is no surprise, therefore, that society in general is suffering from dysfunction in the areas of primary relationships. The reality is an experience that more closely resembles a nightmare than it does the so-called "Hollywood dream."

BRAINSTORMING QUESTIONS TO PONDER

Question 1:  How have movies affected your opinion of members of the opposite sex?

Question 2:  In modern secular society many are more comfortable having sex than they are discussing their financial statement. Why do you think this is so?

Question 3:  Have you ever been pressured into sexual relations? How did you respond?

Question 4:  Would you counsel your unmarried children to more, less, or just as sexually active as yourself? How would you convince them?