Balak(Numbers 22:2-25:9)

You Are What You Choose

"There is none so wise as the experienced."
    --  Akeidah, Sha'ar 14

This week's Parsha focuses on Bilaam, a non-Jew and one of the great men of Biblical history. In fact, the Talmud compares his greatness to that of Moses.

Unfortunately, however, Bilaam was overwhelmed by his own greatness. Pride and honor-seeking eroded and destroyed all he had achieved. He was hired as a mercenary to go curse the Jewish People. He eventually sank to such depths that, in the final analysis, Judaism regards Bilaam as one of the truly evil people of history. He sold his soul for a bag of gold.

THE INTERNAL BATTLE AGAINST EVIL

It is difficult to understand why God lets such evil persist in the world. Even more startling is that God not only let Bilaam proceed in his goal to curse the Jews, but God even helped lead him there! For as the Talmud says, "In the way in which a person wants to go, God will lead him" (see Rashi, Numbers 22:35).

What this teaches is that life is not a battle of God's will against man's. To the contrary, the battle is man's will against himself! Life's problems do not arise out of God's choices, rather they are the consequences of man's choices for himself.

The drunk driver doesn't realize it, but he is really choosing to have an accident. The drug addict doesn't realize it, but he is choosing to destroy his life. The one who is spiteful and uncaring doesn't realize it, but he is choosing to have no friends. The parent who raises children with a lack of values doesn't realize it, but he is choosing to have problematic children.

Instead of learning from those who have already drunk the bottle, we stubbornly persist in sipping from the same cup of misfortune to others. We rationalize that though we suffer, at least it's the "cup of our own choice!"

THE CONSEQUENCE OF CHOICE

All of life is a decision, a choice. If a person wants to choose greater meaning in life, then that will underlie everything that happens to him. If however, his desire is to have < >greater possessions, then that too will explain the course of his life.

The problem is that many people have not really clarified what they want in life. They may say they want "meaning," but are not willing to give up on "comfort." Many may realize family and friends are more important, but their real choice is money. This doesn't mean that the one who wants meaning won't have money, but it's definitely more difficult to have meaning ... when your priority is money.

Men seek beautiful women, believing that life with such women will somehow be more meaningful than with "not-so-beautiful" women. Yet is it true that a women's facial structure affect the patterns of her personality?!

One may be reaping the benefits of working 50, 60 or more hours a week, yet not reaping the benefits of friends and family. You may own an enormous house, luxury automobile and exquisite jewelry - but your relationship with those sharing with you is sorely lacking such perfection.

Our lives are the product of our dreams. Those who have realistic dreams have realistic and meaningful lives. Those who haven't clarified their choices (or don't consciously choose anything), have lives that are similarly aimless and void of direction.

Be certain that your dreams will produce the lifestyle you really desire. Otherwise you might wake up one day to find the dream is fulfilled ... but the lifestyle is a nightmare.

COMPARE DREAMS

The lesson of Bilaam is poignant. It is a terrible waste to be led along the path of your dream - only to discover that it was the wrong path for the life you really so desired.

It's like a child who dreams of owning the key to the candy shop, not realizing that will produce more pain in the dentist chair than any amount of joy. Are we so sure that our dreams are any more realistic?

Make a list of the things in life you don't like, all the things that are going wrong, and what you would change in your life if you could. Then realize that these problems are tied to the direction and choices you are taking in life. Try and see if there is a common denominator in your list. This will give you the clue as to where you are going and if that place is where you really want to be.

Study your dreams and your choices. Compare notes with others who pursued that same dream - and find out if it produced for them what you wish it to produce for you.

For in the end, we don't choose the life we live, we live the choices we make.

BRAINSTORMING QUESTIONS TO PONDER

Question 1: What is the best thing that ever happened in your life? What principle did you learn from this?

Question 2: What was the biggest tragedy of your life? What lesson did you learn from it?

Question 3: What is your biggest problem in life? What does this tell you about the direction in which you're heading?