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Bereishit(Genesis 1:1-6:8)
Blame Game
While living in the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were told by God that they can freely eat and enjoy everything the Garden had to offer. They just couldn't eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Bad. A serpent came along and enticed Eve to eat fruit from this tree. After she ate from the tree, she gave some of its fruit to Adam. When God confronted Adam and Eve about their blatant disregard for His instructions....
"The man said, 'The woman whom you gave to be with me - she gave me of the tree, and I ate.' The woman said, 'The serpent deceived me, and I ate.' "
A LIFE LESSON
When people do something wrong, they usually have an instinctive reaction to either defend their actions or blame someone or something else for what they did.
So when God asked Adam why he ate from the tree, the first thing Adam did was go on the offensive, saying that he ate from the tree because of "the woman whom you gave to be with me..." According to Adam, his sin wasn't a result of his choices; it was because of a something that God did.
And when Eve was confronted about her actions, she also refused to take any responsibility for her free-will decision, and instead simply said, "The serpent deceived me..." Adam and Eve were punished by God not only for not listening to Him, but for also immediately casting blame for their actions elsewhere.
It's always easier, more convenient, and far less embarrassing to shift blame onto other people, circumstances, or to society for any negative or destructive decisions and actions we might make. Clearly, this isn't what God wants. Rather, he desires us to personally take complete and full ownership over everything that we do.
The reason for this is that there's nothing more empowering and liberating than personally taking true responsibility for all your actions. This is life-changing because you now have power to "choose and become" as opposed to being stuck in the "blame game." Power to choose right from wrong. Good or bad. Action or inaction. You will never again be a victim of circumstances, but rather will become a proactive decision maker who - through making the right choices - can recreate him/herself anew every day.
This isn't easy to do because it goes against our nature to immediately declare "I was wrong." But when you can truly acknowledge to yourself that it's you - and you alone - who's responsible for whatever you do - and not anyone or anything else - then you will have taken complete and total control of your life. And when you take full responsibility for everything you ever do, then you'll have recaptured ownership of your life and with God's help you can do and become anything you've ever dreamed possible.
(8) Tina , October 14, 2009
Whatever we sow and care for in our own gardens, is the harvest we can expect to flourish, whether for good or for evil. That is the responsibility of the farmer, and their choices. A humble gardener is a patient worker who learns and grows out from mistakes and wrong deeds sown in haste. The humble sower finds great value in self exposure that brings self correction, knowing there is treasure to be had in confession, through the learning experience, Finding honor in owning up to ones own failings and mess ups. They understand others receive and also become liberated to embrace the truth, not sifting the blame as it only prolongs ones heart and mind from the freedom that is only a confession away. Thank you great teaching...
(7) Martin Ramos , October 9, 2009
Wow! I'm just like Cain!
I just realised that I am just like Cain. Just yesterday my dad took me out for lunch and asked me to control my temper (I lose my temper quite often). I blamed it on the people I was angry with. The truth is: I am responsible for my own actions and temper tantrums. I felt awful yesterday. It was humiliating to hear my father criticize me like that yesterday. After reading this article, it somehow makes it OK. Owning up to my childish attitude has lifted a weight from my shoulders. It's like: OK! I have a problem. No I can do something about it! Great! Thank you for your insights!
(6) meredith sangalang , October 7, 2009
sin lead to another
true enough, your article summed up the general idea that sin leds to another, for most is the consequence of blaming other, toward broken relationship. Hence, lets always come to redeeming power of God to learn and accept the blame on any of our misgivings to rectify things as God wants it to be.
(5) Anonymous , October 19, 2008
that was a very meaningful message for all of the jewish people!!!! thanks!!!!
(4) Scott Granowski , October 5, 2007
Owning My Wrongs
Thank you for your insight on Adam and Eve's downfall. I, too, find it difficult to simply own my wrong without providing explanations (which are inevitably excuses). When I do own my wrong, I am always pleasantly surprised by the reaction. However, my perfectionism arises again and often prevents my memory of how connecting and good it was to own it. Your article reinforces that one of the first lessons of Torah is owning my wrongs. Great article.