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Ki Tetzei(Deuteronomy 21:10-25:19)

You Are Your Word

In this week's Torah portion, Moses tells the Jewish people of many laws they need to observe. One of the laws that are of utmost importance is when it comes to making a vow to God. Regarding this, Moses said:

"You shall observe and carry out what emerges from your lips..." (Deuteronomy 23: 24)


A LIFE LESSON

If one were to make a vow or promise to God, it is something that must be fulfilled. While there are ways in Jewish law to have these vows annulled, nonetheless, the intent when one makes the vow is that he or she plans on honoring it.

Sadly, most people today speak with little or no regard for carrying out the words they say to someone else. It's incredible just how often someone will say something with which he has absolutely no intention whatsoever of following through. Also, since the Torah is a guidebook for living, how does keeping your word lead to having a happy and fulfilling life?

The answer is that when someone keeps his word, he will actually experience a great amount of pleasure. The reason for this is that a person can only feel good about himself when he makes good choices. Making poor choices will inevitably give a person a low self-image, whereby making positive and healthy choices will make him feel great about himself.

When you follow through with the most simplest of declarations, like "I'll be there at 8:00 PM," it shows that you value your word and what you say is important to you. But here's the thing - the only way you'll care about keeping your word is if you care about yourself. But the reverse is just as true - the more you keep your word, the better you'll feel about yourself. This is actually self-esteem math; it works every time.

When you honor what you say - no matter what it might be - you're actually making a bold statement of just how important your word is. And again, the reason keeping your word makes you feel terrific is that only someone who has a high self worth cares about following through with what he says. The more you do what it is that you say you'll do - even the most simplest of commitments - you'll increasingly feel better and better about yourself.

So always keep your word. If not for the person to whom you're speaking, then do it for yourself. Because over time, it will just make you feel amazing.

Published: August 26, 2006

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Visitor Comments: 9

(8) Michael, September 5, 2011 5:35 AM

Wrong Scripture Reference

The scripture is Deuteronomy 23:23 not 23:24

(7) Gerdina Snyman, August 16, 2010 9:55 AM

We should always be very carefull in what we are saying and rather make no promises at all or prevent such a situation unless you have thought it through carefully before the time. The promise we feel we need to make is not always for the correct reasons as far too often they come from quilty feelings.

(6) Scott Granowski, August 28, 2009 9:53 PM

Words

Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Nancy Rottman, September 9, 2011 12:14 AM

Do what you say you are going to do.

(5) SusanE, August 28, 2009 4:30 PM

Our Word is Who We Are.

Ive been neglecting Torah Portions since the new web design of the Aish.com. So glad I went there today and clicked on this article from 2006. I agree that giving our word is important. The saying in the secular world was always "A Man is only as Good as His Word". That is very true. A promise and a handshake were contract enough for honorable men. You state that a promise to G-d can be annuled in Jewish law. That is a sad state to find a loophole to break a promise to G-d. These days a man can promise anything in business or in daily life, and break that promise without punishment, in a court of law if he has a good enough lawyer. This is a sad state to be so unethical and have someone pronounce you absolved. If we don't have our word as a reflection of our honorable selves we have nothing. Thank you for ressurecting this advice for men to honor their comittment.

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About the Author

Adam Lieberman

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Adam Lieberman is a business consultant and who advises executives and companies across a spectrum of industries. He also runs a non-profit foundation which helps Jews of all backgrounds to see the beauty and relevance of their heritage. The insights he receives from the weekly Torah portion enable him to live a happy, meaningful, and balanced life. He lives in New Jersey with his wife and children.

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