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Chayei Sarah(Genesis 23:1-25:18)
Wasting Time
Mr. Cohen is pacing nervously in the waiting room of a hospital maternity ward, where inside, his wife is giving birth to their first child. Suddenly, the door swings open and the doctor appears. "Mr. Cohen, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that the birth went smoothly. The bad news is that your son has a condition which, in time, will kill him."
Mr. Cohen is in shock. "This is terrible! What can we do?"
"I'm afraid nothing can be done," replies the doctor. "A cure has not been found. And scientists have abandoned hope of ever finding a cure. Your son is definitely going to die."
"Oh no..." says Mr. Cohen, "What is this condition called?"
"Life," answers the doctor. "Life."
The saying goes, "Time is money." But given the choice, which is really more important: five minutes or five dollars?
It's obvious that time is more precious than money. We have a limited amount of time on this earth. And the older we get, the clearer that becomes. When we're young, we may feel we'll live forever. Legend has it that on her deathbed, the Queen of England said, "I'd give up all my fame and riches for just one more hour of life."
One of the biggest human tragedies is to waste time - to literally throw away a precious piece of life. Of course there are the obvious ways we waste time: Gossiping. Listening to moronic jokes. Watching sitcoms on TV. Surfing mindlessly through cyberspace. That's "Killing time..." And vice versa.
But there's a more subtle way of wasting time as well. I recall seeing a poster in a low-scale department store advertising clothes "to fit your busy lifestyle." The poster was appealing to our human desire to be busy. If we're busy, we feel important. But what are we really accomplishing? Imagine a tombstone that reads: "He ran a lot of errands." Isn't there more to life than just "being busy?"
The title of this week's Torah portion is "Chayei Sarah" - which literally means the "life of Sarah." But the strange thing is that our Parsha does not discuss the LIFE of Sarah, but rather describes her death and burial. Then the Parsha continues this theme and ends with the death of Abraham! If this Parsha is all about death, why is it entitled "life?!"
Life is like a boat. Typically a boat is christened upon its maiden voyage. We have hopes and expectations that the boat will travel safely and successfully. But what happens many years later when the boat, all beaten and weathered, comes back to dock? Where are the cameras, the crowds and the champagne?
In Judaism we say that is precisely the time for celebration. Because that is when we can evaluate and appreciate the success of the vessel. Which explains why the Torah uses the DEATH of Sarah and Abraham to trumpet the great value of their LIFE.
The growth spurts of a child can be measured in terms of months. For an adult, growth is detected over a period of years. But why should this be so? Just as we would not expect a 10-year old to be acting as he did at age five, why should a 40-year-old act as he did at age 35?!
In describing Abraham's life, the Torah says: "These are the DAYS of the YEARS of Abraham's life" (Genesis 25:7). The Torah compares days to years to tell us that while the average person's growth can be measured in YEARS, Abraham and Sarah's could be measured in DAYS. They had daily growth spurts. They lived full days.
Sometimes we might think, "I could be growing more, if only my life weren't so difficult." This is a fallacy. Because our greatest growth comes not during the easy times, but in the difficult times. The Talmud says that "all of Sarah's years were equal in goodness." But Sarah suffered 90 years of barrenness and was kidnapped twice! Abraham, too, fought wars and was thrown into a fiery furnace!
What this means is that no matter what happened, Sarah saw every event as an opportunity to learn and to grow. Human beings need to be constantly growing and learning. Because there's no such thing as "standing still." Life is in a constant state of entropy. So if we're not growing, we're withering.
Let's look at the modern lifestyle: The average American spends 250 hours each year commuting, and another 200 hours standing in line. Over a 40-year working career, that's 18,000 hours. And what do we have to show for it? That we can recognize every hit song from the '60s and '70s? That we've listened to hours and hours of political analysis on talk-radio? That we cheered the Yankees to the pennant?
Driving and daydreaming is throwing money out the window. Instead, learn something! Set a goal. Learn Hebrew. Go through a series on Jewish history. While eating lunch or while commuting, listen to audio classes from the Internet. There is no shortage of opportunities, if we truly desire to make it a reality.
Here's one of my favorite stories which illustrates this idea: There was a great rabbi in 19th century Europe named the Chasam Sofer. It would take him several years to learn through the voluminous Talmud, cover-to-cover. Upon completion, he would celebrate with family and friends. Then one time, he announced another celebration - just a few months after the previous one. His friends asked: "But your cycle is not due to complete for another several years?!" To which he explained: "All this time I have been learning through the Talmud on a second, concurrent cycle. This second cycle I learned whenever I had five minutes to spare - whether standing in line, waiting for some event to start, or while travelling. In this way - five minutes at a time - I was able to amass many extra years of Torah study!"
Now you're probably thinking, "Oh, this all sounds nice in theory, but I need time to relax!" Of course, everyone needs time to recharge and refresh. In Los Angeles, I recall seeing an enormous billboard for a popular entertainment promenade reads: "The place to go when you've got nothing to do."
Judaism says don't waste a minute. This doesn't mean having a book in front of you 24 hours a day. (I mean, we have to sleep, right?) Rather, the Jewish idea of "relaxing" means to tune into another aspect of living. It should be purposeful and directed. Relax, but don't "space out." When you sleep, it should be for the purpose of resting your body so that it will have the strength to do something truly meaningful. In this way, the sleep itself becomes meaningful. Similarly, if you're visiting with a friend, rather than spend the time chattering about news, sports and weather, why not brainstorm ways to assist the community, or talk about the weekly Torah portion. Or take a walk through nature. Even though you change gears, it's not quitting. It's growth.
As descendents of Abraham and Sarah, we have inherited their spiritual genes. Every moment of their lives was purposeful and meaningful. The clock is ticking. May their example inspire us to do the same.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Shraga Simmons
(21) Fr Dominic Borg,ocd, November 10, 2012 10:08 AM
Wasting Time
Very Well Done !!!...beautifully written, to the point, and the way Rabbi Shraga Simmons drew the lesson from the life of Sarah and Abraham is indeed praise worthy. I enjoyed reading it a few times and trrue inspirational.... something to be proud of...something that we need to be reminded more often. With much gratitude for the sharing of your talents. Baruch HaShem !
(20) Blanche, November 8, 2012 7:24 PM
Excellent advice
I've read this previously over the years and read it again just now. I appreciate the good suggestions.
(19) beth, October 28, 2010 9:54 PM
mindless surfing
would surfing through aish.com count as mindless surfing?
(18) Debbie, November 20, 2008 10:24 AM
Exactly what I needed!
This article helped me realize just how wasteful all my mindless internet surfing can be.
(17) Jossef, November 18, 2008 9:17 AM
Very Meaningful and Practical Lesson
This is an exemplary lesson of how Torah teaching can be made relevant to our modern life style. In my personal life I have sometimes been accused of not being very "social" because I have been avoiding meaningless daily social interactions. Rabbi Shraga's tells us to do exactly that. Thanks for the affirmation!