The Guiding Light Parshat Be'halot'cha: Understanding Complaints
click here to jump to start of article
Join Our Newsletter

Get latest articles and videos with Jewish inspiration and insights​




Be'halot'cha(Numbers 8-12)

Understanding Complaints

"The people were like those who seek complaints in the ears of God, and God heard and His wrath flared..." (1)

As the Jewish people were on the verge of entering the land of Israel, they began complaining to God. It is not immediately apparent what exactly they were complaining about. Rashi, based on the Sifri, explains that, in truth, they had no specific complaint rather they were seeking a pretext to justify distancing themselves from God.(2) In a similar vein, the Seforno writes that they had no valid reason to complain, but they made it appear as if they were complaining about the difficulty of the journey. These explanations help answer the question of why the Torah writes that they were "like" complainers, as opposed to being actual complainers.(3) It is possible to answer that the Torah is alluding that they were not really complaining about anything. Therefore they were not genuine complainers who had a real grievance rather they were like complainers in that they made out as if they had a gripe.

We learn from the Sifri that there are occasions when a person can voice a complaint or make an argument, when in truth, he doesn't really believe in what he is saying. Rather he is using it as an excuse to justify an undesirable form of behavior. In the case of the mitonenim, (complainers) this undesirable behavior manifested itself in the people's desire to distance themselves from God.

We see a further striking example of how what a person says does not necessarily represent what he means, in the argument between Kain and Abel that culminated in the murder of Abel. The Torah tells us that Kain spoke with Abel before he killed him. "And Kain spoke to Abel his brother, and whilst they were in the field, Kain rose up against his brother, Abel, and killed him." (4) The Torah does not tell us what Kayin spoke about with Abel. Targum Yonatan tells us that Kayin spoke words of kefira (denial of God) to Abel, arguing that there was no God, and no concept of reward and punishment. Abel argued with Kain and in the midst of their argument, Kain rose up and killed Abel. Rav Yissachar Frand asks why the Torah refrained from presenting this seemingly fundamental philosophical debate, leaving it to the Rabbinical sources to fill in the details. He answers that the Torah was teaching us that Cain didn't necessarily believe in what he was saying rather he was looking for an excuse to initiate an argument with his brother. The Torah refrained from revealing Cain's words because their actual content was irrelevant. We see again from here that a person's most passionate arguments may be a screen to hide his true intentions.

In this vein, the story is told of a number of yeshiva students in the Yeshiva of Volozhin, who left the yeshiva and ultimately left Torah observance. Years later, they approached their former Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Chaim of Volozhin and told him that they had kashas (5) on fundamental aspects of Torah thought that they wanted to pose to him. Before they could ask their questions, he rhetorically asked them what came first - did they have kashas that caused them to leave Yiddishkeit, or did they leave Yiddishkeit and then come up with the kashas. His point was that they didn't leave observance because of deep philosophical questions. Rather, they left Torah and then came up with the kashas so as to give their abhorrent behavior a veil of validity.(6)

How can a person develop the skill of discerning when a person is saying one thing but doesn't really mean what he is saying? The incident of the complainers also helps answer this. After the people began complaining, ostensibly about the difficult journey, the Torah tells us that, "God heard (vayishma) and His wrath flared..." (7) What does the Torah come to teach us by telling us the seemingly obvious fact that God 'heard'? The verb, 'lishmoa' does not merely mean to hear, rather it also can mean, 'to understand'. (8) Therefore, the Torah is telling us that God understood the true intents of the people - that they had no real complaint, rather they were looking to distance themselves from Him. He reacted accordingly.

Or course, we are not able to understand a person's thoughts. However we can strive to emulate God by discerning what he really means when he says something, and consequently come to a more accurate understanding of what he really means. For example, a person may ask, why there is so much suffering in the world. There are numerous possible reasons as to why a person may ask such a question; he may have experienced a tragedy and be grappling with it; he may have a genuine desire to understand this difficult issue; or he may be simply using this issue as an excuse to attack Judaism. The only way to discern his true intent is to probe further as to what exactly he means - in this way, one can address his real issue.

Similarly, a child may complain that he does not enjoy school. A parent could take this complaint at face value and try to help him enjoy learning more. However, if the parent probes further, he may discover that in truth the child has no problem with his studies, rather there is a different problem, for example, another boy may be bullying him and therefore he doesn't want to go to school. With this understanding, the parent can now address the problem in a far more effective way. The lessons of the episode of the complainers are as relevant today as they were in the desert. May we all merit to emulate God and learn to understand the true meaning of people's words.

NOTES

1. Behaalosecha, 11:1.

2. Behaalosecha, 11:1, quoting Sifri 11:1.

3. See Ayeles HaShachar of Rav Aharon Yehuda Leib Shteinman Shlita, Behaalosecha, 11:1, who asks this question.

4. Bereishis, 4:9.

5. A kasha is a question that is aimed at proving a certain point. This is in contrast to a shaiila which is a question aimed at acquiring information.

6. This is not to say that Observant Jews cannot have valid questions in Emuna (belief) - when their questions are coming from a genuine desire for truth they should obviously be addressed. However, in this and many instances, questions in Emuna are really an excuse for a person to leave Torah observance.

7. Behaalosecha, 11:1.

8. For example, in the beginning of Parshas Yisro the Torah tells us that Yisro 'heard', and in the Shema we say, 'Shema Yisroel' - in both these contexts the word implies a level of understanding over and above simply hearing. Behaalosecha, 11:1.

 

Published: May 19, 2013

Give Tzedakah! Help Aish.com create inspiring
articles, videos and blogs featuring timeless Jewish wisdom.

Submit Your Comment:

  • Display my name?

  • Your email address is kept private. Our editor needs it in case we have a question about your comment.


  • * required field 2000
Submit Comment
stub
Sign up today!