GOOD MORNING!  Did you ever wonder what to give your wife? We live in such abundance that it is often hard to find something that is unique, meaningful and which you haven't yet given her. I saw a beautiful article on Aish.com by Sara Debbie Gutfreund "Top 10 Gifts Every Wife Wants" that I really wanted to share with you (there are 2 more articles on the Top 10 Gifts for Husbands and Children which I'll share in the future). What could be better gifts than those which build better and deeper relationships? So, with permission from Aish.com:

1. Appreciation. Recognize what she does. Thank her for her hard work. Express gratitude for the little tasks she takes care of that you may usually take for granted. Write a note. Send a text. Or say thank you as soon as you walk in the door.

2. Compliments. Tell her she is beautiful. Compliment the dress that she is wearing or the color of her shirt. Give her positive feedback about her work. Tell her that she is an amazing mother. Tell her that she's smart. Tell her that she's talented. She needs to hear it -- especially from you.

3. Empathy. Commiserate with her when she's had a hard day. Listen to her. Say things like: It sounds like you had a really rough meeting. I can't believe you stood on line for that long, you must have been so frustrated. You must be so tired from being up all night with the baby; it must have been really challenging managing everything at work today.

4. Kindness. Be available to help. Fill up her car with gas. Fix her computer or offer to help her with a problem at work. Hold the baby. Do homework with the kids. Ask your wife if she needs anything. Give her a break. Apologize when you hurt her feelings. Be kind.

5. Friendship. Be her friend. Go on dates together or spend focused time with each other. Do fun things together. Plan adventurous trips even if they will be short. Share your struggles. Encourage each other. Be happy for each other's accomplishments.

6. Affection. Tell her that you love her. Buy her flowers. Express how happy you are to be married to her. Tell her that she completes you.

7. Respect. Research shows that the first thing to go in a marriage is politeness. We get too comfortable around those closest to us, and we forget to show them basic respect. Call her or message her when you're running late. Even if it's just five or ten minutes later than the time that she was expecting you. Hold open doors for her. Greet her. Smile at her. Look at her when you are speaking.

8. Acceptance. Accept her weaknesses. Understand that she often sees things differently from you, remembers things differently from you, and handles things differently from you. Praise her strengths. Reassure her that you are always there for her.

9. Authenticity. Be real with her. Share with her important experiences in your life. Tell her about what is happening at work. Express when you are worried, angry or sad. Do not try to hide or deny your feelings.

10. Laughter. Maintain your sense of humor especially in times of stress. Share inside jokes. See the lighter side of life. Eliminate mockery and sarcasm. Laugh with each other but not at each other.

One of the worst myths about gifts is that they are an all-or-nothing proposition. Either you give the right gift in the right way or you give nothing. But real gifts, especially in a marriage, have a lot of spaces in between. You learn to give a little and then you learn to give a little more. Sometimes your wife will be ready to receive what you have to give and sometimes she won't. But every time you give, the gift creates a positive, precious deposit in your relationship.

 

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Torah Portion of the week

Tzav, Leviticus 6:1 - 8:36

This week's Torah portion includes the laws of: the Burnt Offering, Meal Offering, High Priest's Offering, Sin Offerings, Guilt Offerings and Peace Offerings. It concludes with the portions of the Peace Offerings which are allotted to the Priests and the installation ceremony of the Priest for serving in the Sanctuary.

* * *

Dvar Torah
based on Love Your Neighbor by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

The Torah states:

"This is the offering of Aharon and of his sons, which they shall offer to God on the day when he is anointed..." (Leviticus 6:13).

Why does the Torah specify the words "on the day when he is anointed" rather than "on the day of anointment"?

The Talmud (Yerushalmi Yoma 1:1) comments on this verse that we learn that only one High Priest is anointed at a time, not two. (An additional High Priest was anointed to lead the army into battle.) The Talmud cites Rabbi Yochanan who explains that this is to prevent animosity.

The essence of the High Priest is the attribute of peace. Aharon, the first High Priest, was renowned as a lover and pursuer of peace. The High Priest must unite the entire nation. If there would be animosity in this high position, it would be a distortion and mockery of the concept of the High Priest. Therefore, nothing may be done to create such animosity. And likewise we, too, should strive to prevent animosity!

* * *

Dvar Torah
based on Love Your Neighbor by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

The Torah states:

"And the Lord spoke to Moshe saying: Speak to Aharon and his sons, saying: 'This is the Law of the Transgression Offering, in the place where the Burnt Offering is slaughtered shall the Transgression Offering be slaughtered before the Lord; it is most holy' " (Leviticus 6:17-18).

Why does the Torah emphasize that the Transgression Offering must be made in the exact same place as the Burnt Offering?

The Talmud (Yerushalmi Yevomot 8:3) explains that they were offered in the same place in the Sanctuary to save from embarrassment those people bringing a sin offering; anyone witnessing the event could assume that the offering was brought as a Burnt Offering (which is not a sin offering) and not necessarily as an atonement for one's transgression.

Our lesson: We must be very careful not to cause someone embarrassment or discomfort because of past misdeeds.

 

Candle Lighting Times

March 27
(or go to http://www.aish.com/sh/c/)

Jerusalem 6:19
Guatemala 5:56 - Hong Kong 6:18 - Honolulu 6:26
J'Burg 5:53 - London 6:06 - Los Angeles 6:52
Melbourne 6:04 - Mexico City 6:31 - Miami 7:17
New York 6:57 - Singapore 6:56 - Toronto 7:21


Quote of the Week

Three Secrets for a Happy Marriage:
1) Give  2) Give more  3) Give in
--  Rabbi Paysach Krohn

 

 

In Loving Memory of

Alisa Flatow

She found favor
and goodness in the eyes
of the Almighty and all
who knew her

--  Stephen M. Flatow

 

     
In Memory of
My Beloved Wife

Susan Ruth Fastow

May her memory be for
a blessing.

--  Melvin Fastow

 

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Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Kalman Packouz

Copyright © 2018 Rabbi Kalman Packouz