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GOOD MORNING! I don't believe I have ever heard anyone say, "Gee, raising kids sure is easy!" What's incredibly puzzling is when two children in the same family go in different moral directions. In this week's Torah portion Isaac and Rebecca have two sons - the righteous Jacob and the wicked Esau. For thousands of years Jewish parents have consoled themselves when they have had children who were less righteous than they had hoped for that even our righteous patriarchs and matriarchs also had problems with their children.
Perhaps the following precepts set forth by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin will help
you nurture your children.
21 KEY IDEAS FOR BRINGING OUT THE BEST IN YOUR CHILDREN
Torah Portion of the Week
Toldot
Rivka (Rebecca) gives birth to Esav (Esau) and Yaakov (Jacob). Esav sells the birthright to Yaakov for a bowl of lentil soup. Yitzhak (Isaac) sojourns in Gerar with Avimelech, king of the Philistines. Esav marries two Hittite women bringing great pain to his parents (because they weren't of the fold).
Yaakov impersonates Esav on the counsel of his mother in order to receive the blessing for the oldest son by his blind father, Yitzhak. Esav, angry because of his brother's deception which caused him to lose the firstborn blessings, plans to kill Yaakov, so Yaakov flees to his uncle Lavan (Laban) in Padan Aram - on the advice of his parents. They also advise him to marry Lavan's daughter.
Esav understands that his Canaanite wives are displeasing to his parents, so he marries a third wife, Machlath, the daughter of Ishmael (Ishmael).
Dvar Torah
based on Growth Through Torah by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
The Torah states:
"And Yitzhak was forty years old when he took Rivkah, the daughter of Besuail the Aromite, from Padan Arom, the sister of Lavan the Aromite, for himself for a wife" (Genesis 25:20)
The Torah has already stated (in last week's Torah portion) that Rivkah was the daughter of Besuail, the sister of Lavan, and was from Padan Aram. What do we learn from this seemingly superfluous information?
Rashi asks this question and answers that the Torah is emphasizing the praises of Rivkah. She was the daughter of an evil person, the sister of an evil person and lived in a community of evil people. Nevertheless, she did not learn from their behavior!
Many people try to excuse their faults by blaming others as the cause of their behavior. "It's not my fault I have this bad trait, I learned it from my father and mother." "I'm not to blame for this bad habit since all my brothers and sisters do it also." "Everyone in my neighborhood does this or does not do that, so how could I be any different?" They use this as a rationalization for failing to make an effort to improve.
We see from Rivkah that regardless of the faulty behavior of those in your surroundings, you have the ability to be more elevated. Of course, it takes courage and a lot of effort to be different. The righteous person might be considered a nonconformist and even rebellious by those in his environment whose standard of values are below his level. However, a basic Torah principle is that we are responsible for our own actions. Pointing to others in your environment who are worse than you is not a valid justification for not behaving properly.
If you ever find yourself saying, "It's not my fault I did this. It's because of the way I was raised or because I learned it from so and so," change your focus to, "I'll make a special effort to improve in this area to overcome the tendency to follow in the footsteps of others."
Blaming others for your faults and saying that you cannot do anything to change them will be a guarantee that they will remain with you. Make a list of the negative traits you picked up from your early environment. Develop a plan of action to improve in those areas!
CANDLE LIGHTING - November 12:
(or go to http://www.aish.com/candlelighting)
Jerusalem 4:06
Guatemala 5:12 Hong Kong 5:23 Honolulu 5:31
J'Burg 6:14 London 3:56 Los Angeles 4:31
Melbourne 6:44 Miami 5:15 Moscow 4:11
New York 4:22 Singapore 6:34
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
Kindness is a language the deaf can hear
and the blind can see.
In Honor of the |