5 Ways to Misery

1) Don't take anything personally. 2) Don't assume anything. 3) Be meticulously careful in your use of words. 4) Always do your best. Add to that have an attitude of gratitude. This means delighting in all the pleasant and simple things in life that are so taken for granted. Also practice good will and do not hold on to anger, anxiety, grudges, etc. Hmmmm. Examples are all female. Why do you have a woman in this little tongue-in-cheek diatribe? Do you think women are more likely to have those faults?

This is the mantra of my sister......I stumbled upon this link an it is her ... sad but true...thanks ever so much.

I have know a woman for over 45 years. She has never had a happy day in her entire life. She can bring up things that happened to her when she was an infant. She remembers FREQUENTLY how her mother said that she ran out of the room when she first laid eyes on her because she looked like a "drowned rat." If she has nothing else to worry about, she pulls out that early memory to kvetch about it all over again. When I had my first heat attack, she drove over to visit me and her car died. She lost her job, so my sister and I made her an offer that if she would GET A JOB and bank all of her money for six months, she could stay with us room and board paid for out of our own pockets. What would any of us have done at some time in our lives to get an offer like that? To make a long story short, she never got a job but sat around all day eating potato chips. We kept reminding her that her six months was coming to an end. She did nothing. Finally, out the door she went and as she left, she grabbed her plants and said that she was going to take them to her "real" family. Meanwhile, I had an angioplasty go bad and I required a bypass surgery. She refused to drive my sister to the hospital to visit me because "she had a headache." She was so into herself that she told my children that it was not necessary to visit me, it was no big deal. TO HER! But if you've ever had your chest torn open, it was a big deal to me. She finally saw the scar and asked "What's THAT?" I told her that it was from my open-hear surgery. She thought that the incision was only an inch long. When I told her that I did not make it to the operating room alive it was as though I had mentioned an insect bite. If it doesn't happen to HER, it is not important. I have multiple disabilities including a massive stroke, stenosis of the spine, and I'm on morphine constantly to control the pain I'm in. I'm happy, carry on a good social life while she remains miserable. I would so hate to be her.

Your friend/relative(?) sounds miserable but you know that you can not enable her any longer, don't you? By giving in to listening to her stories on how it is everyone's fault but her own, you are giving her the audience she is craving. Walk away when she start to talk and when she follows! Let her know you will no longer be available to share her misery and that when she is willing to let go of the lace, you will be there for her. Try to involve her in your temple and charity where she will be forced to go out in public and do good. It is time to let her go her own way and sink or swim.

Yea Verily!

This is an amazing piece...one I plan on sharing and re listening to a lot of times. It is just so incredible how humbling and hilarious the TRUTH can be....the narrator does a great job and this is the PIECE-DA-RESISTANCE!!!! Everyone should listen with every fiber of themselves!

We all wallow in misery from time to time. It's not so bad if you do it once in a while, but don't make it a habit. Unfortunately, some people have more to be miserable about than others, so we can't judge if they're spending to much time in a funk. We also have to spend time working on our problems. Pretending they don't exist can be a recipe for disaster. Letting go of the misery and focusing on a positive outcome is more realistic, and more likely to end the misery.

Loved the message - and that beast biting off somone's head. Been there done that.

i wish i was 40 years younger. i fell in love with the young lady telling us how to be miserable. i laughed the whole way through while falling in love with her beauty. At my age you can be flirtatious and truthful about positive things. One of my deals is to tell at least one young person a week that in case no one told them yet, they are beautiful. Normally i fall asleep to lecturers. Two good things are always better than one. You cannot beat the combination of beauty and humour in this tape. Way to go Aish !

That young woman was not only beautiful - but beautiful and dressed frum. So refreshing. Thank you sister. And Mordi!

I never get tired of seeing this video - I always learn from it again and again. But who is the actress - can we see more videos with her as well

Don't we all know people who could benefit from this short and poignant vidoe...or would they even have the insight to realize that THEY ARE THE TARGET audience?

This was so well done that I would like to share it with my congregation. Is it possible to get a transcript of the video? Thank you R'Feinstein

search on Aish for "six simple strategies for achieving misery" by sol herzig, The video is based on the article

I have always loved this video. It's hysterical. The sarcasm and the like are great. It is a case where yes, you can learn in humorous teachings. Thanks

Sometimes we have to have help in recognizing the truth. What a timely, well produced video to help' anyone wake up to all that comprises being self absorbed.

This was adorable and a very effective way of getting the message across in a way that won't cause defensiveness! great job!

Though i liked the point this was making and it did it well I suspect it won't have the desired effect. Though most viewers will agree that the behavior mentioned will bring them too no good. A positive approach with instruction on what to avoid and how will be more effective and "user friendly" in the end. I did enjoy watching it though and the title was certainly arresting.

What a great way to express how important it is to stay positive : inject a little humor. I think we can all relate to the video and it is a friendly reminder that we look ridiculous when seeking out misery.

Great video to help us think better and have a more positive life.

Every time I view this video, I have to chuckle at the expressions on the woman's face. One of the best and thought out videos I have viewed from Aish.com. Yasher Koach.

awesome video- very cute and funny, keep it coming!!

This is so good..... real cool video Keep up the good work !

nice

This reminds me of saying: "Reverse psychology sometimes works best with misery!"

this is brilliant... great food for thought. I really needed that! Thanks so much, it should be viewed every day.

I must have seen this at least a half of a dozen times, and chuckle each viewing. I hope people really get the most out of it, as I certainly have.

this is a very smart idea. i really enjoyed it

This is great! I needed it!!!!!!!! Thank you!

Thank you so much for this funny yet smart and straight-to-the-core video!

greate idea