About the Author


David Kilimnick

Finalist of the Laugh Factory's 'Funniest Person in the World' Comedy Competition, David did not compete on Shabbat and still, people do not feel his story is worthy enough to mention when discussing Sandy Koufax. The author of The Aliyah Dictionary and Dictionary of Jewish, David is the first Israeli to ever make it to the finals of a stand-up competition of this caliber.
David Kilimnick, known as Jerusalem's Comedian, and dubbed Israel ’s “father of Anglo comedy” by the Jerusalem Post, is leading the new pack of stand-up comics in Israel . At his Off The Wall Theater in Jerusalem (the first of its kind), Kilimnick has been offering up penetrating observations of life in his turbulent adopted country. Tourists and native Israelis alike have been flocking to his cozy, intimate club and raving about his unique ability to transform the daily chaos and aggravation of Israeli life into an evening full of laughter.
In his one-man Stand-up shows dedicated to the Olim (the creator and performer of The Aliyah Monologues, Find Me A Wife, Uncle 'D', Frum From Birth (Religiouos Manifesto and more), the rabbi turned comedian brings you on the emotional journey of the immigrant. Kilimnick’s universal humor takes you on a “tour of funny” through the Holy Land.
David has appeared on “Beep,” Israel ’s comedy network, Tzchok MeAvodah, starred on Jerusalem HaDashot, and has been hailed by the tough Israeli media as a “rising star” who possesses “Seinfeldian charm” when he takes to the stage.
You can see David in the 'Israel Comedy Experience' and his other one-man stand-up shows every week, at Jerusalem's Off The Wall Comedy Theater. David also travels internationally and is available for theater, community and campus shows and simchas, including shows for tour groups, you, your family and friends in Israel.
www.davidkilimnick.com www. israelcomedy.com
david@israelcomedy.com 972(50) 875-5688'


Vaccines for Jewish Ailments

Can someone come up with a vaccine for the loud people in shul who sit next to me?

Confessions of a Jewish School Teacher

Parents, whatever you share with your kids at home will be shared in class. That’s a promise.

Things People Say at a Shiva

After going through the process of sitting shiva, I’ve taken notes on the things Jewish people like to say.

What to Ask for Forgiveness for this Yom Kippur

5780 wasn’t one of our best years. If we want 5781 to be better, let’s apologize and try to be better.

Things We Should Pray for This Year

Dear God, parents have done their time. They shouldn’t have to see their children for the next two and a half years.

Why More Arab Countries Should Make Peace with Israel

The United Arab Emirates announced a historic peace treaty with Israel. Here’s why other Arab countries should too.

How to Have an Outdoor Wedding or Bar Mitzvah

People now just stare at each other awkwardly. Get used to that weird look. It means “Mazel Tov.”

How I Survived an Israeli Coronavirus Hotel

I emerged from 14 days in solitude a better Jew.

How Jews Beat the Heat

Whatever you do, don’t go for a picnic. Jews don’t picnic.

Protests in Israel vs. Protests in America

The last people to pull down monuments in Israel were the Romans.

How to Make Jewish Summer Camp at Home

Step 1 – throw in some Hebrew. Call it “Camp Bayit”.

Zoomchas: How to have a Simcha on Zoom

How to get the most out of your online celebration.

Shavuot at a Social Distance

Clean your house, take a bath, throw in a load of laundry and break out the cheese cake.

How to Celebrate Jerusalem Day This Year

Try Israeli dancing while socially distancing. It’s actually safer – I’ve been injured during many a hora.

Celebrating Israeli Independence Day at Home

In Israel Yom HaAtzmaut is celebrated in the streets. Here’s how to do it at home.

How We Survived Passover in Quarantine

I certainly cleaned a lot more for Pesach this year. I know this because I found a garlic powder that expired in 2003.

Jewish Communal Traditions Under Quarantine

Make a shul at home. Give the sermon. Congratulations, you are now the rabbi!

Jewish Advice for Being at Home

The gyms are closed. You are at home. This is a holiday. Eat.

How Israel Looks Without Tourists

We thought the lack of tourists was due to a war, but then we saw CNN and BBC weren’t blaming us.

Great Purim Spiel Ideas

For centuries, shuls have been trying to make their Purim Spiels funny, but to no avail. I’m here to help.

Jews on Planes

When you see Jews praying on a plane, they’re praying somebody ordered kosher food and doesn’t want it anymore.

My Tu B'Shvat Seder Questions

Why are we eating so many dried fruits? Is this even safe?

Why Israelis Love the New American Peace Plan

Israelis loves the new Middle East Peace Plan. Here’s why.

How the Wise Men of Chelm Dealt with Anti-Semitism

Tragically even in Chelm they struggled with anti-Semitism. This is how they dealt with it.

Why Anti-Semites Are Dumb

Your convictions, Mr. Anti-Semite are pretty flimsy.

Your Jewish Calendar for 2020

January 1st make resolutions, no more eating chocolate. January 2nd, eat chocolate.

The Wise Men of Chelm and the New Miracle of Hanukkah

The Wise Men of Chlem always lit the Hanukkah menorah but they never knew why. It was time to come up with a new miracle.

An Ode to Jewish Community Theater

When the beast from Beauty in the Beast takes off his mask, you realize it’s your friend Doobie from shul!

Israelis Are Not Rude

If you think Israelis are rude, you’ve got it all wrong.

How Israelis Handle the Biased Media

The media wants Israel to let terrorists roam free so they can instigate rocket attacks and mass shootings.

New Wise Men of Chelm Stories

Tales from the shul board.

How to Visit a Jewish Retirement Home

I’ve been closely watching families who visit Jewish retirement homes and I think we can do better.

Sukkot Around the World

In Canada, Jews use heaters, in Florida, air conditioners, but at the core, it’s all the same.

People You See in Shul on The High Holidays

Every shul has the guy who times the tekiya gedola shofar blast.

Jewish Year in Review 5779

The top Jewish news stories from around the world in 5779.

Preparing Your Child for Success at Jewish School

Beware, it all starts in kindergarten…

Questions People Ask Rabbis

As a rabbi, I’ve heard my fair share of interesting questions…

Reasons for Jewish Singles to Get Married

Tu B’Av is here – the Jewish holiday of love, and that means it’s time for all of us singles to get married.

I’m Sorry for My Selichot

As part of my repentance process, I hope it’s okay that I open up my heart to you. Don’t judge.

My Outside the Box Ideas to Help Bring Redemption

Tell people others aren’t feeling well. Sick people bring out the best in us.

Jewish Summer Camp Lingo

From the ropes course to the room with the air conditioning, this is what you need to know about Jewish summer camp.

What Makes Israeli Humor

I’ve been a comedian in Israel for over 15 years. Here are my thoughts on what makes Israeli humor.

Jewish Summer Camp Characters

The cook, the nature guy, the canteen guy, the local who mows the lawn – who remembers these people from Jewish summer camp?

Jewish Summer Camp Activities

Here’s a list of things you or your child will be doing at camp this summer.

How Jews Visit the Sick

When people are sick, we bring food. That’s just what Jews do.

Making Jewish Food Dairy

How many good dairy foods do we really have?

My Favorite Spots in Jerusalem

The Old City. The history. The immigrants. The angry taxi drivers. I love it all.

Jewish Wedding Gift Etiquette

What to gift and what not to gift.

Things That Make Israel Special

In Israel we don’t like uniforms. This is why it looks like the mailman is stealing your mail.

Jewish Workouts

Passover is behind us, so let’s get in shape!

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