I went to a charity dinner last night and sat two tables away from Paul McCartney. Born a few weeks before the Beatles performance on the Ed Sullivan Show in 1964, I – like hundreds of millions of others - have been greatly influenced by Sir Paul. There was no way I wasn’t going to introduce myself. After mustering up the courage I went over and shook his hand. He was warm and welcoming. I thanked him for providing generations of people with great music and that I’ve been a lifelong fan. He was genuinely appreciative of my compliment and told me so.
Then I asked him, “Could I ask you a rabbinic question?”
“Please do,” he replied.
“What merit do you have that enabled you to be such a dominant force in the music world and such an influential person for more than 50 years?”
Without batting an eyelash he responded, “I know the answer to that one. My family. I come from a very supportive family. My parents were always there for me and provided an environment in which I was able to flourish. My dad was always behind me and encouraging me.”
He then pivoted by comparing himself to John Lennon. This was becoming a surreal experience. All of a sudden I’m having a real conversation with Paul McCartney (!) and I felt (uncharacteristically) totally out of my depth.
So I can’t remember if he was contrasting his life to John Lennon’s by saying, “You know John Lennon didn’t have that supportive family upbringing that I had” or comparing it and saying “You know John Lennon had this support network as well.” I was just so mesmerized by Paul’s warmth and openness that I lost the content of his comparison.
Then I responded – and I admit it was a most arrogant comment, “I think your merit is due to something else.”
His reaction was fascinating. He didn’t say, “You don’t know me. How can you presume to know what merits I have?” Rather he said, “What do you think it is?”
Paul McCartney was actually curious to hear my thoughts! His humility was so disarming. I shared that over the years I had read that he had written songs and given them to other artists to perform. I told him that I saw an interview of him where he described bumping into Mick Jagger and Keith Richards in London in the early 60s and they were down in the dumps because they needed a good song to cut. Paul gave them one.
“Is this story true?” I asked.
“Yes, I gave them the song I Wanna Be Your Man and they sang it.”
“Wow. That’s a tremendous act of kindness, one that gives you incredible merit to deserve great gifts from Above.”
“Thank you,” he said, “but I think my answer is right. It was my family’s love and support.”
“But you didn’t listen to your dad,” I joked.
Here too Paul was curious and not negative in any way. His face read: “Please tell me how I didn’t listen to my dad.”
“I heard that your father told you to sing ‘She loves you YES YES YES,’ not ‘She loves you YEAH YEAH YEAH’ and you didn’t listen.”
“You’re right. He did say that and I didn’t listen,” to which the small crowd gathering around us all laughed.
If you think about it, here too Paul’s greatness shines. I’m asking him what merit he had to accomplish such greatness and he sincerely attributed it to others. I attributed it to his acts of giving and loving kindness in helping others – and he acknowledges the facts but downplays his role. True humility.
I realize there’s a sea of folks wanting to shake his hand and I go back to my table, thanking him for sharing his thoughts. Two hours later, when the dinner officially ended, I walked back over to him to ask for his advice. (By now I’m sure you realize my persistence is endless.)
“Can I ask you for a piece of advice”
“Please,” he responded.
“We have a teenage son who excels at piano and singing. How can we water this flower?”
“Give him love,” he replied.
“Thank God, we give him love. What else can we do?”
“Give him more love. It’s like what I told you before, my father gave me lots of love and that enabled me to write and sing and flourish. This is what you need to do for your son. Love and more love.”
Wait a second. Paul McCartney is now referring to a conversation we had two hours ago? Does he actually remember me? Here’s a man who is approached non-stop every day and he remembered that we spoke? I was touched.
Sir Paul McCartney with Yitz Greenman
Hoping to score an appointment for my budding musician son, I asked him if he ever meets with young talent. He shared that he goes to Liverpool every year to a music school there and attends their graduation ceremony and meets the students. He suggested sending my son there – not something that is likely. I wanted to ask him if I could introduce my son to him, but I didn’t want to overstep his boundaries any more than I already had (yes, even I have a limit) so I let it go.
I was blown away by my encounter with Sir Paul McCartney. He was kind, open and genuinely humble. Being at peace with himself, he was present and engaged, embodying so many important traits that are necessary for greatness.
(16) Brielle Luna, June 19, 2019 1:56 PM
He is the best!
(15) Yitz wyn, June 16, 2019 2:50 PM
This is GREAT! Insightful and clear.
This is a great father's day message! Every father should read this and recognize that one day, their children may attribute their accomplishments to him!
(14) Carrie Savage-Zimmerman, June 15, 2019 1:47 PM
Reaction—Or Not—Just as Supportive
An enlightened detailing of coming face-to-face with one’s idol. Intriguing conversation. What Paul didn’t say was just as telling as what he did say. His father didn’t appear to be insulted or demeaning when his suggestion wasn’t taken. Another show of love and support that parents don’t always understand. To get out of one’s way, to be completely with a child’s passion and allow them to take wing and fly—now that’s being a supportive parent. Perhaps Paul’s father got his son because he was a musician. Maybe he heard his son’s talent. I choose to believe he unconditionally loved his son and showed his support by not inserting his own biases or judgments into Paul’s choices. “Biting one’s lip” can be a vital asset in “hearing” a child.
(13) RABBI GARY ZWEIG, June 14, 2019 12:59 PM
UNBELIVABLE
What a MERIT to meet Sir Paul..IF you ever meet him again..I WANNA BE YOUR MAN!
(12) Sue Weisenhaus, June 14, 2019 5:31 AM
Personal insights
Thank you for sharing. Your questions and comments were intensely meaningful. Your insights were divinely inspired, as evidenced by his responses. Truly, the conversation was precious, personal and memorable for yourself, Paul and me!
(11) Raymond, June 13, 2019 1:54 AM
Who Should Be in Awe of Whom?
My perspective on this is virtually the opposite of that of its author. For me at least, I admire no profession as much as I do Orthodox Rabbis. I admire their devotion to obtaining their vast, deep Torah knowledge, their ability to apply that knowledge to their own lives, and their ability to transmit that knowledge to future generations. Yes, of course I am aware of and admire musical geniuses like Paul McCartney, but frankly, for all of his musical talents, I am much more inclined to admire the Rabbinical author of the above article.
Yitz Greenman, June 13, 2019 2:21 PM
Authors response
Please see Ethics of Our Father, Chapter 4, Mishna 1. Ben Zoma teaches that a wise man learns from ALL people. There is NO human being that can not teach us life lessons, NO ONE. There are few people walking this planet today who have achieved [in their fields] the fame and success of Paul McCartney. Please see if you can name 5 people alive today. I'd like to see the list. And therefore, if Ben Zoma says that we have what to learn from every human being, we certainly have what to learn from unique and gifted people. We just have to open our eyes.
Raymond, June 13, 2019 8:22 PM
No Yeshivas for Paul McCartney
I have never seen a yeshiva whose teachers consisted of the Paul McCartneys of our world. Their teachers tend to be exclusively Orthodox Rabbis.
I am not saying that Paul McCartney has no wisdom. Of course he does, and in fact, he just so happens to be my favorite Beatle, precisely because he has long struck me as being the nicest person of the Fab Four. But if I needed some kind of guidance for my life, I would choose an Orthodox Rabbi over a genius musician every time.
David K, August 7, 2019 1:05 PM
Try to see it the rabbi's way
Life is very short and there's no time for fussing and fighting my friend.
(10) Anonymous, June 12, 2019 12:00 AM
A real mensh
I met Sir Paul McCartney on a plane. I was17. He was with Linda and his children. He said he never gets tired signing autographs sine the fans make him what he is. He was humble and very real. Thank you for sharing your story
(9) Carl Maltzman, June 11, 2019 11:38 PM
Beatles "Love" and Halacha Connection
According to the Beatles Concordance, the Beatles sing the word "love" in their songs a total of 613 times. This is not a coincidence.
Raymond, June 15, 2019 4:50 PM
All You Need Is Love
As the famous Beatles song so aptly puts it, "All you need is the Taryag Mitzvot."
ummm....Don't take me too literally here. That was meant to be a joke.
(8) Arlene Ross, June 11, 2019 9:34 PM
Other ?s for Paul to answer
Since both of his wives have been Jewish and huscmarriages seem good, does he have any plans to convert?
Are his Jewish children exploring their Jewish identity or are they gone forever to the Jewish people?
(7) Marcos AD Barros, June 11, 2019 7:33 PM
How revealing was MCartney's comment about having had a supportive family!
As a Beatle fan, I have made my guesses on some aspects of the band. My reflexions often led me to the boys' kind of upbringing. His words to Rabbi Greenman assured me my guesses were right.
(6) Tova Saul, June 11, 2019 4:48 PM
every word of this article was delicious
What an experience. Kol hakavod.
(5) Rhonda, June 11, 2019 4:18 PM
Loved this article..
it doesn't matter whom the person is...
When I read about humility, kindness, integrity, compassion, and love....i smile..
So glad that Sir Paul....(I was 9 when The Beatles were on Ed Sullivan)...proved to be a mensch...
i wish everything i could read left me feeling like this...;-)
(4) Baruch, June 11, 2019 2:04 PM
Midot & McCartney
Excellent story!
May I suggest the title, "Midot & McCartney"?
Anonymous, June 15, 2019 5:06 PM
Holy Moses!
The Middot, Mussar, and Menschlekeit of McCartney. From Moses to Moses, there has been nobody quite like McCartney. Mama Mia!
(3) Anonymous, June 11, 2019 2:01 PM
The next time you meet him, you ought to ask how he feels about marrying a Jewish woman - Linda Eastman. If she was truly Jewish, his children are Jewish. He may not realize this. I wonder how he would feel about this fact.
(2) Shana, June 11, 2019 1:43 PM
Author too impressed with stardom
In my work I have met many world renown celebrities; actors and musicians.
I was never in awe of them as is the author of this article. Yes, they are famous and everyone recognizes them, but they are talented in their field and that is it. Their field happens to be one where they are seen by masses, yet they often are not very knowledgeable or efficient in other parts of life. In fact, I am often disappointed when I get to know a celebrity very well. I see that they have the same anxieties, shortcomings, maladies that we all have. The star does not shine as brightly when you see it up close.
Yitz Greenman, June 11, 2019 10:06 PM
The Author Responds
The author is not impressed with stardom, the author is impressed with greatness. He exudes equanimity, gentleness and calm. Qualities I aspire to.
(1) Richard, June 11, 2019 10:26 AM
All you need is love!
But we also need direction! And that is where our Torah and community comes in!