Unbelievable article. I am currently on the corporate world right now and I was quickly on the rise. However reality hit for me when my 3 year old daughter asked my did I have to go away so much and with tears in her eyes she said " I miss you". I got a job offer that would require for me to travel every month for up to 15 days. It was a lot more money, and in the global economy in would have provided a lot of experience. But I just couldnt bring myself to say goodbye one more time.
I still struggle with this decision each day, as many people think I am crazy. But like you said, I want my box to be filled with memories, and not awards.

First, Judaism supports a wife being home because there is so much to do to take care of a family. There is no problem working but part time or 9-5. Its not good for women's souls/psyches/emotions to be in high stress jobs outside the home. They loose their touch with G-d and themselves. This is per my wife. Men, are more built to be out of the house, competing and external. They get their connections to G-d from learning and prayer , which are also usually out of the home. Good luck

I made a similar decision -- left the corporate world (at least on a FT basis), 6 figure's, etc. for the sake of prioritizing my children over work. I am grateful to be in a position where I have had that choice! Now I am underemployed, but also grateful that we can still live on my husband's salary and whatever else I can contribute. It is a very difficult balance for any mother -- finances being equal, many who work long to spend more time involved with their children, while many who are primarily mothers during the day (everyone does night duty!) miss the work world. I believe you have to balance financial realities, your true values, and your own knowledge of yourself to make the best decision possible for yourself and your family. Hatzlacha to all! May we make the best choices within our domains to ultimately, successfully, raise Torah-true Jewish children, who help bring this world into proper condition!

Nicely written article, but my only real response is "la di dah" .
Only a very small percentage of us make six figure incomes and have husbands who can support entire families so that they can live without worrying about debt.
I wonder what the relevance of your article is to those of us in the "real" world.

I grew up in a single parent household where Mom had to work. The local Jewish private schools were not accessible to us b/c of money. Jewish activities and trips were out of bounds too.

Mom would say, on a daily basis, that she could only dream of a day when she could stay at home and take care of us. She could only dream of being able to give us a nice life without slowly killing herself in the process.

She tried to build our core Jewish values by informing herself about Judaism. She was raised in a communist country so her Jewish education was lax at best. Unfortunately the Jewish Ed classes, espcially those geared at mothers, only occured in the middle of hte day on weekdays. There was no room for working mothers to participate in Jewish Ed or to learn and grow Jewishly. Women who had to work to feed their children were and still are looked down upon those mothers who have the luxury of a choice.
There's not a single article on Aish.com about increasing the oppurtunity for Jewish Learning among working mothers or making it easier for working mothers to send their children to day school or to Jewish activities which tend to be astronomically priced.

Then again, those mothers don't have time to write articles and give speeches, they are too busy raising children and making ends meet.

I am just wondering if Robin would like it as much if her husband made a similar choice. Shouldn't he, too, have his own box of memories?

I'm a 68 year old bubby. My eldest grandchild is a boy who celebrated his bar mitzvah in February. We have 4 other grandchildren and I have created a photo album for each, along with his/her own video tape. I also have copies of "Bubby, Me and Memories" by Barbara Pomerantz for each of my 2 granddaughters. Attached thereto, is a list of things entitled "Remember When" which recalls everything Zayde and I have done with them. Another list is entitled "Think of Zayde and Me When You" enumerating all the things we would like them to remember, and to do with their grandchildren. The concluding sentence reads: "If you do all these things, you will know just how much Zayde and I love you!" I have shared this with other Bubby's and they plan to do the same thing. I also have every card my husband, children, grandchildren and special friends have sent me-----each in their own manilla envelope. I can only imagine the joy and comfort these things will bring them when we are no longer around. Can't think of a better legacy to leave them.

you opened my eyes,

Does Robin have a husband? And if so, how much does he make? I only wish I didn't have to work in order to make ends meet and since my husband was just laid off, I'm the sole breadwinner, earning less than half of what he did. And even when we had his salary, we didn't fly all over the world, amass material wealth, etc. We couldn't afford it...even with only ONE child. (He had lost his job once before, 13 years ago, and I went back to work because I was more employable at that time and we needed the health benefits. We got by on less than half of what he was bringing home before...and I did that for nearly 7 years!)

I guess motivational speaking pays really well and I don't think working and establishing core values is mutually exclusive.

What I wholeheartedly applaud is her acknowledgement that your time is the most important thing you can give your children. Americans work way too hard and too long. We work mostly out of fear nowadays -- afraid we'll lose our jobs, or health benefits (maybe that's why the government is dragging behind on universal health care. It's one less fear our employers can hold over our heads!) I'm lucky that I have a job that is close to home and an understanding boss.

I wish Robin continued success.

An article guided by God.

I made the decision to stay home with my child and have a second (in spite of health risks) law degree, family expectations, etc. I would not exchange my role as mama. I did work very part time and tried to get involved in as many professional and community activities as my health and family obligations would allow. However, one does this on one's own. There is very little support even and especially from the Jewish comunity. This poses a conundrum - what do I tell and do in regards to my highly intelligent and bright teanaged daughter? Post grad education is increasingly expensive and divorce rates are high (even in the Jewish community) I have "lost" the earning power that could have set up a nest egg for her. Did I , in choosing to be basically a full time mother, take away her choice? For many people the choice to work is not between pasta and steak;it's between pasta and nothing. Not all our daughters are going to marry nice Jewish (and faithful) top breadwinners. And not all Jewish boys are even looking for nice Jewish girls. There are questions spinning and issues that a nice story like this raise and need to be addressed.

Not many people have to courage to leave behind the trappings of success as defined by the material world and follow where the spirit leads. That brings a different kinds of success and satisfaction for the individual.
Congratulations!

I have an MD and am subspecialty boarded and have worked very part time since my kids were born. Nothing has been more rewarding than seeing my kids grow up into wonderful people. Keep up the good work.

Too many people don't realize that those who stay home and raise their children are actually working harder than most people do at their jobs outside the household. Not only are you raising your family on less money, you took on a whole new set of practices and values. It's probably harder than anything you've done in your life. Kol HaKavod.

This article makes way too much sense. People in the world today tend to spend so much time chasing their pot of gold that they forget to actually look inward. This story is one of a woman who realized that the almighty dollar does not go with us into the next world. Her sincerity and desire to help people wake up needs to become contageous. I plan to forward this article to a few friends.

Thank you, and may Hashem bless all of you at Aish with a joyous, meaningful, and safe Pesach.

Sincerely,


Tzvi Micahnik

I found the article very inspirational!! That there is more to life then money and fame.

Hello,
I have a law degree and an Ivy League undergratuate degree. I made the same decision you did. I am home with my little boy. It is a very difficult job. Thanks for making me feel great about it.