When you think of Hawaii you think of a tropical paradise: golden sand beaches, 80 degree ocean water, hot, humid weather, sunbathing, surfing and other beach fun. What you don't think of is being in that "slice of heaven" in a suit and tie. Unless of course you're me. Because I'm Ross Hirschmann, religious guy on business in Hawaii.
When I took my current job, I had no idea that I'd be spending a lot of time on "the Islands." About a week after I was hired, I met my new boss for the requisite "get to know you" meeting. It went well (meetings with your boss always do when you first start a job. It's all the meetings after that initial one that are the problem). At the end of the meeting, he turned and casually said, "Oh, did I tell you that your territory includes Hawaii?"
"Hawaii?!" I thought to myself. "No, I think I would have remembered that one."
"That's okay isn't it?" he continued.
Me, Ross Hirschmann, religious guy in a kippah, would now be frequenting the streets of Honolulu and Waikiki.
What would he have me say? "No, it's not okay, so if it's all the same to you, I'm going to start my job search all over again. Only this time, all I have to do is explain why I only spent one day at my last job." So, in a rather unceremonious manner, I became the new Hawaii rep. Me, Ross Hirschmann, religious guy in a kippah, would now be frequenting the streets of Honolulu and Waikiki.
The night before my first trip to Honolulu I had to decide what to wear on the plane. Most people have never met an Orthodox Jew so when people see me enter a room, they don't see a tall blond- haired guy in a suit. All they see is a 6-foot tall kippah walking in.
I also remembered something my father had told me years ago. When he was a young man, commercial air travel was still new and was unaffordable to the general population. Because it was a special event to travel by plane, the passengers dressed up. Men wore suits, ties and hats and women wore dresses. It was very elegant and very dignified.
Sociological studies support what American society seemed to know intuitively in the 40's and 50's: how you dress affects how you comport yourself. You behave better when you're dressed more formally. Schools that have dress codes and uniforms have far lower truancy rates than schools that allow kids to wear anything they want. How we dress for something is also our statement to the world about how we see ourselves and our relationship to what we're doing. After all, no one comes in shorts and a T-shirt to a wedding.
I made my decision: I'd wear a suit and tie on the plane to Honolulu. After all, I wear a suit and tie everyday to work. Why shouldn't I wear one just because I'm visiting customers who happen to be in Hawaii? Besides, I wanted the people on the plane -- most of whom I'm sure have never met an Orthodox Jew before -- to know that I that I am a principled individual who stands for something beyond the mere comfort of "flip-flops."
YOU'RE A COP, RIGHT?
I expected I'd be the only guy on my flight in a suit and tie, but I didn't expect everyone's reaction.
As I approached the gate, the agent smiled and said, "Good evening sir, First Class will be boarding momentarily."
"Thank you, but I'm not in First Class."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive"
She stared at me quizzically. I could read it on her face: "Who wears a suit and tie and is not in First Class?"
Next came the flight attendants. They were very kind, but I kept catching them staring at me. Finally one came up to me. "Is this your first time to Hawaii?" she asked with a smile, her eyes locked on my Brooks Brothers tie.
"No, my second time actually."
"Oh..." she said somewhat surprised. "Well, you know no one wears a suit and tie in Hawaii. No one."
"Except me I guess." I smiled. She smiled back.
At the end of the flight, as I was leaving that flight attendant said, "It's nice to see a man all dressed up. You don't see that much anymore."
She was right. Since the late 60's American society has progressively dressed down. Polo shirts and slacks have replaced the man in the gray flannel suit. My father said that when he was my age he never left the house without a tie. Never considered it.
I became a glaring contrast to the entire culture of Hawaii that stands for vacation and indulgence. When I got to hotel, people in all types of revealing swim and beach wear stared at me as I made my way to the front desk to check in. My suit and tie was an important statement to the world of Hawaii: guys in kippahs are not a part of the "anything goes" society.
While visiting customers the next day, a woman at the elevator stared at me and then finally smiled and said, "You're a cop, right? FBI?"
"No," I laughed.
"You must be a lawyer then. Lawyers and FBI are the only ones who wear suits and ties on Oahu."
"Wait!" I said. "I remember watching Hawaii 5-0 on TV and McGarrett and Dano and that whole police department wore suits and ties."
She thought about it. "That's true," she said. "But that was in the 70's. Things have changed. Even regular cops don't wear ties anymore. You look nice, though."
One person thought I was a rabbi and still another swore that I was CIA. But everyone said it's nice to see someone in Hawaii in a suit and tie.
I quickly became the most memorable pharmaceutical sales rep in Hawaii. Nine people told me that I "had to" buy an Aloha Shirt and dump the suit and tie. One person thought I was a rabbi and still another swore that I was CIA. But in the end, everyone expressed the same sentiment: it's nice to see someone in Hawaii in a suit and tie.
Jewish thought tells us that in life we must "separate ourselves from the wild animals." What that means is not just to make sure there's a cage between you and the lion exhibit at the zoo (although that's a solid idea). It's telling us to comport ourselves in every way -- in how we dress, how we speak, how we treat others -- in a dignified and elevated manner. Even when you're flying to a tropical paradise.
I have now voyaged to Hawaii at least ten times in the last ten months and on every trip I'm in my light green suit, white shirt and Brooks Brothers tie (I call it my "Island Wear"). And every time I get compliments about how nice it is to see someone dress in a manner that for most people conjures up an image of the past; in some ways a better past, a time when people felt more of a responsibility to society and others than to their own personal comfort or whims.
On my most recent trip, the flight attendant, who was on all ten of my other trips, came to me just before takeoff and said, "Mr. Hirschmann, your upgrade to First Class is ready. Please follow me."
I was stunned. I neither applied nor asked for any upgrade to First Class. That didn't matter. I just knew one thing: I was following her. "I wanted to do this for you," the flight attendant explained, "because I have been on all of your previous trips to Hawaii and every time you are such a nice person. And believe me, most people on any given flight are not all that nice."
I was touched and humbled that the flight attendant saw me -- the guy in the kippah -- as standing out as a nice person. That my kippah was a beacon for something positive and not something negative. I chalk it up to the suit, tie and kippah working their magic one more time.
(22) Anonymous, March 14, 2016 10:10 PM
The kippah or the suit?
Interesting, the author describes himself throughout as "guy with kippah," but the comments he gets are about his coat and tie, being "all dressed up." Would that have been the case had he sported the same business attire with a beret, top hat, fedora or homburg? Doubt it. But I do wonder what reaction he might have gotten if he were wearing a turban.
(21) martha Levy, March 13, 2016 8:39 PM
It is wonderful to read such a positive, original and personal article
I smiled all through the article, feeling I was there travelling with Mr. Hirshmann. Few people wear their kippa so consciously.
(20) Shivi, September 16, 2010 8:53 AM
Hawaii - the letters of Shem Ha Sh-m
This is what I heard from my dentist surgeon: Hawaii in Hebrew hei-waw-waw-yud are actually the letters from Shem Ha Sh-m Ha Mephorash /Tetragram/. There is just plus one aleph before the yud. Could it indicate G-d's presence there? Interesting to know...
(19) Steg, July 13, 2008 7:41 PM
objection
Jews were not meant to be lawyers and accountants -- we were meant to be farmers, herders, builders, artisans and craftsmen like our ancestors. All this suit and tie business comes across as snobbish and materalistic. If you feel personally more comfortable mentally, spiritually or emotionally dressing in a formal manner, please do (sometimes i do too) -- but don't slander those who 1. feel more emotionally/spiritually/mentally comfortable in less formal clothes, 2. come from a different culture than you and don't make the same assumptions based on externals that you do, or 3. aren't wealthy enough to afford your kind of clothes.
While it's important to remember that human beings judge by sight, it's even more important to remember that the ideal is to judge by the heart, as God does. Hashem yir'eh laleivav.
(18) Mollie, November 25, 2007 11:25 AM
Tropical Weight Wool Suits
Enjoyed your article. What we need to understand is that the idea of "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" (Translation: "When in Hawaii, do as the Hawaiians do") may not apply for everyone. Luckily, (after living in Houston, Texas and now Austin, Texas), there are suits made with lightweight, "tropical weight" wool! We all have to be true to who we are and dress for the occasion (dressing for "business", not the beach if that's what we are there for). "Islanders" usually don't like to do business with folks from the mainland, so sometimes dressing to "fit in" helps (unless it just isn't you)! Lesson: "Be true to yourself" (I live in Texas and would not consider wearing cowboy boots with a suit to get business, although others have)! After over 20 years in sales (and being top performer nationwide with two companies), I still think that wearing a suit conveys authority and respect and regret that "dress down Friday" has all but eliminated the suit and tie! For women, business dress lately is more like for what they want to do after work than what they need to do at work (and how can men focus on what these women are saying when they have dressed such that the focus is on their anatomy)!
(17) Peter Golden, May 21, 2006 12:00 AM
Polynesia and the 42 letter name
Thanks for the nice story. I am a political refugee (too long a story for here) who felt more at home in Hawaii than anywhere else - for me it was the closest physical environment to Gan Eden still on the planet, the 50th state, symbolic of God's blessing and abundance. I miss it very much - and chuckled at the thought of you sweating it out in a suit. I almost said to Hashem, "If I promise to wear a suit, will you get me home?", but changed my mind - I still asked him to get me home, but, I didn't want to lock myself into a deal that would prevent me from I still being free to do business in my casual clothes.
As refugees in a foreign country, not allowed to work, my daughter and I ended up living on Maori land - our hosts taught us some of their 'mythology' and creation stories. Their diagrams are wonderful pictures of "ihi aur, v'yehi aur", and of the 42 letter name. Their legends of the 'separation of earth and sky' speak of 71 spiritual agents, 28 of who took part in the decision to separate heaven and earth, and 7 of who were active agents in the separation. The links with Bereshith 1:1, while not perfect, are impressive. Similar traditions exist throughout Polynesia - I suspect that Hawaiian names like Alii (for royalty), even Aloha, are throwbacks to something divine - Eloh... The language links amongst the Maori to Middle Eastern names are as impressive as the legends.
Thanks for the story - it brightened up life for me - and best wishes for the airline staff, your boss, and the customers continuing to favour you.
(16) karen, May 19, 2006 12:00 AM
view from the outside
I am currently taking a course in world religions and the teacher is requiring us to go to a service of a different religion. I picked the jewish religion, but first I wanted to know what I was getting myself into. I read your comment and I agree totally with you. I found a common ground, but i did not find anything on the dress code for wormen in worship. I want to be more like you, because you seem to be so full of understanding and not controlled by hate. You do not see much of what you have in the world, especially in those who profess to be "Christian".
(15) Tamar, May 17, 2006 12:00 AM
connection between clothing and people's responses
Taking the other perspective...should we treat people with more or less respect based on what they wear?
No, we should treat each person with respect regardless of the quality of their apparrel from the homeless person to the man in the suit or the woman in elegant clothing. But this is not the natural human response as this article indicates. When the author dressed better than his fellows he received better treatment.
(14) Samuel Kline, May 16, 2006 12:00 AM
Suite Wearing
What a very intersting article - I live in London (England), and the thought of atteding a customer's site NOT wearing a suite is beyond belief (actually, I'm sure that I'd get the sack if i tried).
I have to say though, that even here you do notice the difference in peoples' reactions - in jeans, the shop assistance say "thanks mate", in a suite they say "thank you sir".
(13) Shmuel, May 16, 2006 12:00 AM
Good illustration
I think many of the comments below miss the point.
I worked in Hawaii for some time, and business casual is certainly the norm in office jobs. Outside of work, at least for young people while I was there, it was considered pretentious to wear a non-aloha shirt with a collar on it. It's not wrong, but it's a different culture than I was used to on the mainland. Some of us feel very uncomfortable in shorts and flip flops, no matter how hot it is.
How often are we Jews who try to be observant considered uppity or snobbish, even by fellow Jews? If my outward practices, a reflection of my inner person (illustrated here by a suit and tie), don't seem to fit in with everyone else, too bad. I'm not compromising myself to fit in with the majority.
(12) Susan Bender, May 16, 2006 12:00 AM
Grateful that God made writers
Thank you for articulating what I can't - why I am increasingly distressed at a society which places no value on modesty as a blessing for the rest of us.
(11) Gary Katz, May 15, 2006 12:00 AM
A larger view
While the initial attention on the writer may have come from his mode of dress (either kippah or suit), the affinity that developed between the writer and the regular crews and passengers was more likely the result of his halachically and ethically correct behavior.
The writer probably would have been "noticed" whether he wore a suit and tie with or without a kippah, or a kippah with or without a suit and tie.
The writers strikes me as someone who dresses in a certain fashion, but acts with style. The difference between the two is addressed in Strunck and White's English grammar/composition classic, "The Elements of Style."
I am impressed not so much by the fashion that someone chooses, but rather by his or her ability to wear it (and act) with style.
(10) Jonathan Keefe, May 15, 2006 12:00 AM
A very nice Kiddush HaShem
Keep it up. Beautiful.
(9) MARGIE, May 15, 2006 12:00 AM
VERY FUNNY STORY/ WHY DID YOU GIVE UP LAW????? KEEP WRITING.
(8) Anonymous, May 15, 2006 12:00 AM
Teaching Respect
I once read that Hashem sends everyone messages throughout the day and it is our responsibility to reflect on what the message is. I think that the message of this article is that when a person is committed to Torah and Mitzvos, even in challenging situations, then he deserves respect. This message was repeated throughout the article by the way the people around him were treating him.
(7) Todd Scherzer - NY, May 15, 2006 12:00 AM
Aloha--Mitvot
If ever in Lahaina in Maui, stop by Kamehameha Iki Park, just north of 505 Front Street and ask for Ke'aumouko Kapu.
Tell him Todd sent you "the grant writer"...I think you will be amazed how closely Judiasm and Aloha really are connected--he's just the sage to explain it to you.
Aloha Nui Loa
(6) Uriela Obst Sagiv, May 14, 2006 12:00 AM
Loved it
I loved it Ross. Absolutely loved it.
(5) Tzivia Tabak, May 14, 2006 12:00 AM
Hats off and Kipah on!!
Kol hakovod to you Ross! Hats off and kipah on! That was a real kiddush Hashem! Tizcu l'mitzvos harbeh. all the best and much hatzlacha. Great article.
Tzivie T.
Yerushalaim
(4) Jeffrey Dworin, May 14, 2006 12:00 AM
Good job
It sounds more like people noticed the suit than the kippah, which could as easily have been worn with casual dress. Good job setting a standard for business dress; it's what originally built such companies as IBM.
(3) david conley, May 14, 2006 12:00 AM
coat and tie
Mr Hirschmann, dress codes come and go. Surely you wouldn't wear clothes of the style George Washington wore in the 1700's. Integrity must come from inside a person, not the external trappings. From what I know of the mobsters of the 30's and later, they were well dressed in coats and ties (at least in the movies).
When I was in Oahu several years ago for an extended period of time, I was my normal well behaved, polite person and wore an Aloha shirt alot of the time. My other contention is that a person should dress for the weather. A coat is not appropriate for hot summer weather. It makes a person sweat outdoors and indoors, the ac using precious natural resources, must be run. In a location like Hawaii with the almost continual trade winds, open windows and cool clothing makes the use of ac almost unnecessary.
(2) Lei, May 14, 2006 12:00 AM
Aloha
Sugget you try an aloha print kippah. It will match any aloha shirt you wear. Works for me.
(1) Marc Pomerleau, May 14, 2006 12:00 AM
Hirschman owes an apology to those of us living in Hawai`i nei.
Firts let me say that I live in Hawai`i island (not Oahu), and while this is a nice article with a pretty good message, I beg the author to delete all the references to Hawai`i since he seems to lack any understanding of what Hawai`i is really like. Certainly he might be well acquainted with the many airline passengers coming here to vacation, surf, and play, and all the other typical tourist aspects of the island, but these seem to be the limts of his knowledge and understanding. This piece certainly has some good thoughts but its tone is just a little too self righteous. The author states "I became a glaring contrast to the ENTIRE CULTURE(bold print my emphasis) of Hawaii that stands for vacation and indulgence. When I got to hotel, people in all types of revealing swim and beach wear stared at me as I made my way to the front desk to check in. My suit and tie was an important statement to the world of Hawaii: guys in kippahs are not a part of the "anything goes" society.
The author is definitely a glaring contrast to the standard vacationer and to the general tourist trade in general. Unfortunately saying he is glaring contrast to the ENTIRE CULTURE of Hawaii only leads me to belive that the author is just another frustrated salesman that has not, and is not, interested in learning what the real people who live and work in Hawai`i are all about. A plane full of tourist; beaches and resorts in Honolulu and Waikiki full of people swimming, surfing and playing do not the true Hawai`i make nor does this represent the "entire culture" of my home.