In one week I will turn 60! I am neither traumatized nor self-conscious! I am EXCITED!!
I asked myself what six things I would tell my 40-year-old self if I could have? The following are my “Gold Nuggets." I am grateful to be able to share them.
1. Attach yourself to the pursuit of wisdom. This 'occupation' has no expiry date and only improves with age. You will always feel vital because the opposite of old is not young! The opposite of old is NEW!!!
2. Be scrupulously self-honest. Rationalization is like re-arranging deck chairs on the Titanic; that ship/rational lie is going down anyway so don't waste your time! Do the work/make that change/apology/readjustment now!
3. Recognize that your challenges are not things to be ashamed of. They are the neon signs pointing to you to your purpose/work in this lifetime! And so are your strengths! (Remember: we marry our homework or give birth to it/parent it.)
4. Open up your tent (on all sides!). Hospitality is the simplest path to humility; and humility is the doorway to joy. You will be your best self when hosting people. Forget just being 'yourself'. Be your 'best self'!
5. Engage your senses liberally. Listen to and play music. Enjoy the scents that please you most. Touch that cashmere/velvet/silk/skin. Laugh out loud! Enjoy your food!
6. Search for the goodness and beauty in every person that is put in your path (especially the 'difficult' ones). Aspire to approach interactions with the goal of Unity without Uniformity. This means that we seek out what unites us, not what divides us. You don't have to agree or even approve of the 'other'. You don't have to stamp 'kosher' on something you think is not kosher. But neither may you demonize/mock/scorn/disrespect/refuse to listen/de-humanize the 'other'. Every single human being has something to teach you. Don't miss the opportunity to grow!
What would you tell your younger self? Share in the comment section below.
(14) Kathryn Macdonald, January 5, 2019 2:03 PM
Delightful!
Thank you for your wonderful insights. I have shared your article with many of the women in my circle and embark on the new year… with open hearts we are hopeful for change… Your six points will help guide our path for reNEWal
(13) Yaek, August 19, 2018 11:15 AM
A very interesting question!
I would tell my younger self to talk to Hashem (G-d). This is something I discovered later in life, after listening to the cd's of Rabbi Shlomo Diamond of Deal, NJ. I've learnt to simply talk to Hashem, all the time. And it's changed my life. And I love Him so much! And it's so easy! I tell Him my problems, I thank Him, I ask Him for help...And He always comes through! Life always has its challenges but I feel like it's a totally different life with Him "by my side".
I learnt it because Rabbi Diamond, in one of his classes, suggests talking to Hashem, for 5 minutes every day, about one problem.
(12) Hennya Goldberg, August 17, 2018 2:06 AM
This is your friend Hennya Goldberg
Have a happy 60th birthday.
(11) Ariella, August 17, 2018 1:18 AM
Thank you for sharing could not have come out at a better time. Just what I needed for Elul.
(10) Anonymous, August 16, 2018 1:02 PM
can i add one thing to the list?
adrienne, i'm also just a bit away from 60. i loved your list, but i'd add one thing. relationships--family--is paramount. other than the connection with the one above, it's the one connection that adds immeasurably, unquantifiably to one's life. make sure those connections are strong, enjoyable. you dont have to agree, or make the same decisions, but discussing the differences makes the bond stronger.
the first 6 on your list are enriching. but personal relationships (and if one needs to, work on mending some of them!!) are number one by me!
(9) Anonymous, August 16, 2018 10:43 AM
Golden advice, thank you Adrienne!
(8) bar code, August 16, 2018 8:15 AM
uh oh!
dont talk to yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!11
(7) Regina, August 16, 2018 4:18 AM
Such a Gift!
Thanks for sharing your insights - surely a gift to those of us who read your article (and can remember the points you touched on at opportune moments). You highlight GIVING -to others and to oneself. Nurturing the self is NOT OPTIONAL - it's MANDATORY, though we somehow don't always feel we have permission to do so (I don't know why - it's just how it seems to be for a lot of people, including myself). I wish you many nurturing, brilliant insights going forward...AM YISROEL CHAI!
(6) John Smith, August 15, 2018 10:51 PM
As you get older time moves faster and you only have a very limited amount of time to do countless things before bed. Time and sleep are the enemy and the sooner this miserable charade of a world ends the better.
(5) Roger Starnes, August 15, 2018 6:22 PM
Wonderful Article
My mother gave me a bit of wisdom when I was very young and I have tried my best to practice it.
She said, "Roger, always be a gentleman, not only to women but men also. It will open doors for you that are not open to most people". I have found it to be true. I'm certain it also applies for ladies.
Roger in Fort Worth, Texas
(4) Dennis Wright, August 14, 2018 11:55 PM
design your future self
I am much older than sixty, in fact I have children approaching that milestone but we all have things we would like to have done earlier. The main thing is to ensure that we keep learning and improving, we can't really tell our younger self so the trick is to look at what we really would like our future self to be and work in that direction.
Nancy, August 15, 2018 11:15 AM
To commenter #4 Dennis Wright
OMG!! You and I have the very same life philosophy. Designing my future self gives me HOPE!! Thanks for sharing.
(3) Anonymous, August 14, 2018 6:40 PM
Article good
Why have we not kept in touch? Bracha
(2) Andrew Stiller, August 14, 2018 5:14 PM
Wonderful article
I will be 60 (G-d willing), next year, and your pearls of wisdom are appreciated.
(1) Deena Lari, August 14, 2018 3:54 PM
the worst and the best
Boy, have I learned a lot since I was 40! Here's the distilled version: The worst thing you can keep in your life is blame. Blaming anyone (including yourself) or any circumstance for anything in your life prevents you from solving your own problems and keeps you from living a happy, fulfilling life.
The best thing you can keep in your life is gratitude. If you count your blessings every day and realize that none of it can be taken for granted and no one is automatically entitled to anything in this life, you can see that the world abounds with beauty, love, and wonder, and all your challenges become surmountable, even if you have to work hard to overcome them..
Sharona, August 15, 2018 7:27 AM
I like youyr comments Deena
Nice insights!