From early 2000 until mid 2001, I suffered at the hands of a female that put me through repeated unwanted sexual experiences. The guilt, shame and consequences followed me for many years. It is only now, almost 20 years later, that I am facing the fact that it wasn't my fault and what I experienced was a form of sexual abuse. I'm reading of many abuse myths including the fact that men can be abused, let alone by women. I don't know why things have to be a zero sum game. Men the perpetrators and women the victim or vis versa. We are in this together. It is reminiscent of the black and white approach that if I'm pro israel, i must be anti-palestinian and vis versa, or if I'm pro republican I must be anti-democrat or vis versa. I'm hurting, many men are hurting, many women are hurting. I want all abusive men to stop and I want all abusive women to stop. Period. I want my pain to go away and I want your pain to go away. I would like to believe we can look at each other and be on the same side against abuse and in support of those who need support and healing.

Rabbi Blech is entirely correct. However, he only scratched the surface about anti-male hate, bigotry, and discrimination in our society. The Democrats created the Office of Women's Health, but didn't do anything for men's health. The only created the Violence Against Women Act, despite decades of research that has found that women batter men as often as the converse. Democrats now cry about separating illegal alien children from their parents, but ignore the fact that American fathers have been separated from their children by feminist divorce courts for decades. Men commit suicide 4 times more than women do. It was despicable that his grandson was threatened with a false accusation by a female, but was fortunate that it didn't happen: false accusations are distressingly common. Men are shunning marriage in record numbers, out of fear of being raped in divorce court. This poses a threat to the very survival of the Jewish community (and every other community). Thank you.

As I read through the comments, I noticed that people aren't disagreeing with the premise of the article - they aren't defending misandry or denying that it exists. Instead, people found that the article was "insensitive to the many women have been assaulted" or wish the "article...[demonstratied] rachmones towards women who HAVE been sexually harassed/abused."

In other words, people are taking issue with the fact that these articles never expressed empathy for the victims. They fail to mention sexual abuse against women is a real and prevalent issue and that there are male perpetrators who should be held accountable for their actions.

Over the past year, I frequently scrolled through Aish.com - as I often do after a major current event - looking for articles addressing the #MeToo movement. But I was surprised. When I searched "#MeToo"(and other related terms) only four articles showed up. One simply mentioned the #MeToo movement in passing. Another, posted last October, addressed the Weinstein scandal. The 3rd discusses men as victims of sexual assault, and 4th is the article discussing misandry.

I cannot deny that I was more than a little disappointed by the lack of coverage on this issue. Where were the articles expressing outrage, sorrow or empathy? The personal vignettes? I wanted to read about how the Torah defines masculinity, the Torah's perspective is on how to address an offender, how Torah law would resolve such cases in court? I wanted to learn about related instances in Tanach and what we can learn from them.

I've wanted to learn about this for years. I still do. And I know I'm not the only one.

Thank you, Aish.com, for sharing the truth of Torah with the honesty and authenticity we crave so desperately. Please continue addressing this topic, because despite the discomfort it may cause or the controversy it may incite, "בְמָקוֹם שֶׁאֵין אֲנָשִׁי, הִשְׁתַּדֵּל לִהְיוֹת אִישׁ"

The oldest trick in the feminist playbook is to accuse people (men and women alike) that confront anti-male bigotry of being "misogynists", "women haters", "insensitive to women", etc. Victimization of men and victimization of women are two separate issues,, and both issues need to be articulated. Victimization of women has been articulated for decades, but victimization of men has been obfuscated and covered up.....and justified by feminist bigots

You did note that Rabbi Blech's grandson was threatened with a false accusation of sexual misconduct? Many males are not so fortunate: the false accuser proceeds directly to the police with her false accusation. A 13-year-old boy in Colorado Springs, CO was falsely accused of sexual assault, after he refused the demand of female classmates that he change his Snapchat avatar. He was arrested at his school, and now muct fight for his freedom.

In Israel, a woman that PROVABLY falsely accuses a man will NOT be arrested and prosecuted. Israeli Supreme Court justices cite the works of man-hating bigot Catherine Mackinnon in their decisions.

That's how bad the situation is. That is why I never married, and never had children.

Thank you, Rabbi, for your consistent stand in favour of G-d ordained decency and morality. Bigotry is unacceptable, period. G-d created male and female for each other, to live in harmony, and serve humanity. Anything that swings the pendulum towards anti-female persecution or anti-male persecution is unacceptable. G-d does not measure sin in terms of number of power. As Proverbs teaches, even the poor man who steals to appease his hunger must sell everything he owns. We are not to favour the poor and powerless, just because of those qualities. Equally, we must not turn a blind eye to the rich when they oppress the weak (Jeremiah 21). Therefore, the currently fashionable doctrines of Critical Theory are incompatible with the true justice of Jewish moral thought. Ergo, anti-male hatred is just as unacceptable as anti-female hatred. I appreciate your article and this cogent defence of it. I pray that we all read it in the spirit of contrition, for as Koheleth says, we know that we have cursed others.

I agree wholeheartedly with Rabbi Blech! Do not back down, Rabbi! You are RIGHT!!

And, ladies, by the way, when you dress in tight clothing, low cut tops, short skirts, short shorts, etc., what message do you think you're giving to men? Not that anyone has a right to touch you if you don't want to be touched. But, c'mon! What is your body language--literally!-- saying? You can't have it both ways!

And, since I'm a woman, you can't accuse me of misogyny or prejudice against women! Just saying it as I see it!

I agree with you on the importance of modest dress, as well as appreciating Rabbi Blech's considered defence of his article. However, let us not get too attached to how women dress. In countries where women cover more, rape still abounds. Furthermore, men are required in Judaism to restrain their sexual desire by avoiding unnecessary physical contact with women. They are therefore responsible for their actions, and unfortunately, there have been many cases where the man was deemed helpless and the woman a provocateur. Surely, that cannot be fair, even if we disagree (as we surely do) on their mode of dress?

Dear Rabbi,
With respect to your sharing about the situation that sparked this topic from the beginning - the incident between a male counselor and an underaged maid, what do you see as preventative or remedy?

Are you seeing or hearing of any practical solutions being employed, real-life examples that engender both parties with more honorable behavior according to the Torah? This week's and last readings touch on this sensitive topic again. Surely the search is on.

Rabbi Blech, you deserve great respect for taking this unpopular but very necessary stand. Also I hope everything goes well for your grandson. I wonder how many other rabbis understand the issue but don’t speak out for fear of being too controversial, until it affects themselves or someone close to them? As for myself I only woke up to the reality of misandry after police came to my house after I was falsely accused of domestic violence - a traumatic experience, also for the kids who were home with me at the time. So I guess I can’t expect anything more of anyone else. But I still hope that more of those with superior insight and eloquence will speak up before my boys get to the age where I need to worry about them being falsely accused. Also, I worry that the currently fashionable “believe women” (unconditionally) mantra will encourage excesses that will eventually cause an extreme backlash where all accusations made by women will be dismissed as “crying wolf”. In other words, what is going on right now could well make my daughters *less* safe in the long run. Let’s have more reasoned debate, empathy, respectful disagreement, and healthy skepticism all around.

There's a reason G-d said, "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour."

Rabbi Blech Is a wise, nuanced, thoughtful, caring and wise person who has always advocated for fair treatment of everybody And brings compassion and wisdom to the things that he writes. He has a track record of caring for everybody, and being sensitive to people in whatever their situation maybe. If people are calling him out in the wrong way because they disagreed with this articl and brings compassion and wisdom to the things that he writes. He has a track record of caring for everybody, and being sensitive to people in whatever their situation maybe. If people are calling him out in the wrong way because they disagreed with his article-they just don’t know who they are talking about, and would probably be surprised to find out that he has as much compassion, or more, to the very people they think they are trying to protect.

You seem to be arguing that a reader should not respond to what the rabbi said, but rather to who you say he is. When someone writes a public column, they should be judged by their words, not by someone's characterization of their character.

This has brought to the forefront how many women sadly still hold on to unforgiveness and bitterness from past trauma and displace it on others that represent who hurt them. The knee-jerk offensive reaction can say a lot. We can’t have a civil conversation because those offended by this message want everyone to know how much they still hurt. I know. I’ve been there. You have to want to heal. And you have to be willing to forgive to get over that bitterness. I don’t need to make those from my past feel their responsibility for the harm they did to me. I’m responsible for how I will respond. G-d will deal with them and their iniquities. I don’t hold all men responsible for what a few ungodly fools have done to harm me. I’m thankful to G-d for meeting me where I needed Him to heal my wounds and set me free from the bitterness and anguish trying to take over my life. This post was done well. Thank you. I’m glad we can finally fearlessly bring up the bitter man hate hitting the world.

Rabbi Bliech,
Thank you for being a voice of sanity amidst the current torrent of madness.
No one is suggesting that survivors of sexual abuse—be they men or women—don't have every right to be enraged. We are suggesting that the rage ought to be directed towards the criminals who abuse them, and not be exploited to hate anyone guilty by association.
We all remember the racist argument to the effect that it is easy for a suburban liberal to be tolerant of African Americans if he was never mugged by one. However reasonable the argument sounds, its patronizing appeal to superior experience cannot make up for the simple fact that even if many muggers are African American, it simply does not follow that many African Americans are muggers.
This common fallacy, known as inverting the consequent, is common to all bigots.
The fact that the mainstream Left is getting away with it suggests that our mentality has not advanced so much since the days when being at the wrong place at the wrong time, with the wrong color skin was enough to instigate a lynch mob.

I surely have little to add to this cogent comment, except that the root of sexual crime is criminality. The sexual offender has the same mentality as a thief: taking something not freely given, because they do not have the mental fortitude or moral compass to work for it instead. However, the mainstream Left appears to want to make the natural desire that men have for women into the crime itself, rather than the criminal amongst the gender who take that which does not belong to them.

Dear Rabbi, the wound you found looks serious. Good to address it; I'm sad it hurts. Upon cleaning, a lot of nerves were exposed. Like post-circumcision care - for a 99yo Abe. Imagine Sarah's first reaction to that? 'What are you boys up to...?...!' Would you like a balm?

Considering Cain and Abel, misandry is a poison so old it needs rebranding? Maybe the 'new'ness or shock of it is when exposed in the brightest of gems - our mothers, sisters and wives. This catches our attention even more than when they weep. What's even more shocking? That G-d saw fit to wash the earth with tears for 40 days over 4000 years ago because of it? Or that oceans still treasure their salt?

Evidence doesn't favor men: if misandry's fruit is homicide, FBI 2014-2016 data show rates of women killing men to be 10 times -less- than men killing men. Since the first homicide, a man killing his brother, rates of homicide within each race are over 10 times higher than between races. Why are races/families/tribes more prone to hate their own? They know them better? If homicide is the fruit, maybe disease is the tree of hate bearing it: CDC data show that 9,374 homicides in 2015 paled in comparison to over 2,200,000 deaths from disease alone. Suicide? 34,000 lads. 10,000 ladies. Not only is misandry a problem, not only are over 99% of misandrists men, the most hateful evil against a person is a thing they can grow in their own heart: self-devaluating lies. How can hearts see what heals them most if they're not brought to light?

The balm? 'Shema:' Love. You have a heart full. 'A cheerful heart is good medicine' -King Shlomo. Its overflow: healing. Sharing the Light of G-d's Word with us, it heals, no doubt. Your 'side-by-side' point is spot-on, refreshing, thanks. G-d said 'not good...needs help' after first seeing man, so He gave him a woman.

'...still just happy you're alive.'

May He bless y'all with Love and keep you always

(submitted just in case my wife happens to kill me while knocking enough sense into me to qualify for Heaven)

* Genesis 1 - ויהי אור
* Deuteronomy 6 - 'These... teach them to your children...'
* Malachi 4:6 - 'Or else I will...'
* https://factfinder.census.gov/faces/tableservices/jsf/pages/productview.xhtml?src=bkmk
* https://ucr.fbi.gov/crime-in-the-u.s/2016/crime-in-the-u.s.-2016/tables/table-21
* https://ucr.fbi.gov/crime-in-the-u.s/2016/crime-in-the-u.s.-2016/tables/expanded-homicide-data-table-3.xls
* https://ucr.fbi.gov/crime-in-the-u.s/2013/crime-in-the-u.s.-2013/tables/table-43
* https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db293.htm
* https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr66/nvsr66_06.pdf
* http://federalsafetynet.com/us-poverty-statistics.html
* Proverbs 17:22 - 'good medicine' or 'dried bones'
* Ezekiel 17 - 'I do not take pleasure in the death of anyone.'
* Proverbs 30 - 'Strife' - King Agur spoke of these times; thank goodness, Proverbs 31 follows.
* Deuteronomy 30 - 'Remember ...choose Life'
* Isaiah 40:2 - דברו על־לב

Is forgiveness without forgiveness being sought a Jewish concept?

*Jonah 4:11
וַֽאֲנִי֙ לֹ֣א אָח֔וּס עַל־נִינְוֵ֖ה הָעִ֣יר הַגְּדֹולָ֑ה אֲשֶׁ֣ר יֶשׁ־בָּ֡הּ הַרְבֵּה֩ מִֽשְׁתֵּים־עֶשְׂרֵ֨ה רִבֹּ֜ו אָדָ֗ם אֲשֶׁ֤ר לֹֽא־יָדַע֙ בֵּין־יְמִינֹ֣ו לִשְׂמֹאלֹ֔ו וּבְהֵמָ֖ה רַבָּֽה׃
'and should not I have pity on Nineveh, that great city, wherein are more than six-score thousand persons that cannot discern between their right hand and their left hand, and also much cattle?'

*Isaiah 65:1
נִדְרַ֙שְׁתִּי֙ לְלֹ֣וא שָׁאָ֔לוּ נִמְצֵ֖אתִי לְלֹ֣א בִקְשֻׁ֑נִי אָמַ֙רְתִּי֙ הִנֵּ֣נִי הִנֵּ֔נִי אֶל־גֹּ֖וי לֹֽא־קֹרָ֥א בִשְׁמִֽי׃
'I gave access to them that asked not for Me, I was at hand to them that sought Me not; I said: 'Behold Me, behold Me', Unto a nation that was not called by My name.'

*Daniel 9:9
לַֽאדֹנָ֣י אֱלֹהֵ֔ינוּ הָרַחֲמִ֖ים וְהַסְּלִחֹ֑ות כִּ֥י מָרַ֖דְנוּ בֹּֽו׃
To the Lord our God belong compassions and forgivenesses; for we have rebelled against Him;

*Ezekiel 18:31-32
וְהָשִׁ֖יבוּ וִֽחְיֽוּ׃
“Cast away from yourself all your transgressions... repent and live.”

Forgiveness is originally G-d's. It is His to give.

Now, upon its acceptance, will men then act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with Him?

King David is more to the point: 'How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to Your Word.' This Jewish concept sums up all others and answers both our questions.

The hearts of Israel who cherish it most, give more than they receive, so that through Israel, G-d eternally blesses the entire world. Their lives are living proof of His love pro bono. In His Light, Rabbi Benjamin rightly compels us to forgive and to live by G-d's love, far beyond what formerly denigrates us men.

We’ré in an age of hysterical, anti white masculinity.

People who are angry are not rational as are people who have taken 'a side.' Think of trying to speak to a liberal about Trump or trying to convince a Republican about some democratic policy. When someone is in a 'follow the mob mode' or is angry at injustice that they feel is unaddressed, there is no reasoning. I'm not sure your article will be able to quiet the viciousness you're being subjected to. I'm sorry for it, specifically because I feel it makes the rational among us women look bad. Good luck

I assume R. Blech would heartily disagree with you that taking a side or being angry at injustice is irrational.

I wanted to express full support for Rabbi Blech and his courageous articles in a time when speaking sensibly is sometimes fraught with negativity and irrational, emotional reactions.

Rabbi Blech is clear minded and a true voice in the direction I believe stands for true Torah values.

I fully support Aish and their choice to publish articles filled with emes even if they are received improperly by some others. These type of articles allow and enable those of us who want to stay within the guidelines of the Torah hashkafa to do so while keeping up with current issues.

Thank you and may you continue your holy work.

Thank you for saying all that you said. Respectful argumentation is so needed in the world. We can all learn from each other, we don't have to agree.

In an effort to show that she was valuable and capable too, in the past~200 years or so, she has tried to speak up more, take up male roles and earn a living too so that she will not be a victim at the mercy of man.

The only problem with "cumulative retribution" is that it isn't righteous.The Torah says "..the son will not pay for the sins of the father". We have to be righteous judges on an individual level and as society.We cannot punish the living men for the sins of the dead men, nor can we view all men negatively because of the aberrant ones.
Men should have valued women, their unique contribution to the well being of society and supported them with love. We need each other, men and women for society to be healthy.

Rabbi Blech, Good on you for having the sense to come forth on this issue and the fortitude to stand your ground and explain yourself clearly. The mere fact you have received such a firestorm of (negative) comments over such a real and neglected issue shows the state of mind of most people and that an article as such was needed. People can flip out of they want, but abuse of men in all forms (verbal, physical, mental, emotional, in false accusations and so on) happens more frequently than anyone cares to admit.

Joe

Your words - "Checkmate – because that would have destroyed his job and perhaps his future. And yes that can happen. I’m dreadfully sorry if reporting that makes me a pariah."
Two things, perhaps if the reason for the article was given, it would have been written & received differently.
Second and more importantly, I was taught years ago that qualifying an apology is NEVER an apology.
I have been dismayed with many things you have written of late - personally - I'm done with reading anything further that you pen.

I think you need a reality check, Penny. Rabbi Blech’s words are consistent with AISH.COM’s worldview and represent the reason many of love to read his words and those of others of a similar ilk (and that includes many women), which are rooted in the Torah and other aspects of traditional Yiddishkeit. If you choose to exclude yourself from that group, I’m sorry but it will be your lose!

As far as I can see, Rabbi Blech asks for consideration, but stands by his article. I see no reason why he should not, since he said nothing that would demean women. He asked for those women who have chosen the immoral path of slandering and hating men to be held to the same standard as those men who slander and hate women. Is this unreasonable, Penny?

I feel we need to show respect and hear out respectfully women charging abuse while knowing innocent till proven guilty and if she lied she is guilty. That said we seem to see for quite a while all "white men" are seemingly a bad boys club. Like the biggest insult is white male. That is stupid and prejudice

There is no contradiction between the duty to properly investigate an allegation of serious crime, whilst considering the accused innocent until proven guilty. In fact, both parts are impossible without the other, since "innocent until proven guilty" implies that the matter must be investigated. And yes, as a black woman, I find the juvenile and exhausting diatribes against white men all the more ridiculous when you consider the fact that sexual crimes exist in non-white communities across the world. Crime is crime. Race and gender are not guilty by association.

Rabbi - Unlike many of the people commenting in this thread who are imposing their views on your writing, I read what you actually said, and I understand that your columns had nothing to do with protecting men from unfounded accusations, nothing to do with the presumption of innocence, nothing to do with whether accusations require corroboration. In fact, for anyone who was confused, you actually explained this explicitly in your second column.

Your column was about something you describe as man hatred. Something you describe as bigotry. Something you see as akin to racism. I think you are confusing anger with hatred. I think you're confusing rage with bigotry. And I think if you would take more time to understand the rage, it might affect how you write about it.

This might help you understand it a little better. https://www.boredpanda.com/nut-kicking-analogy-brett-kavanaugh-case/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=BPFacebook

Yes, I read the Facebook posts, and understand why men who were violently assaulted, would be angry if it was they who were constantly assaulted by some women, and how this might morph into hatred of those guilty of assault.

What I understand, but fail to endorse, is that this hypothetical hatred of female assaulters should morph into hatred by all men of all women.

It is as irrational and as bigoted as an inner-city dweller deciding to hate all African Americans because he was mugged and assaulted many times by groups of African Americans.

As a female, I enjoyed your first article. And now enjoyed your second one even more. That you can maintain calm, respectful and logical dialogue is the greatest testimony to your truths.
Stay strong. Here is a woman that agrees with everything you have said.

Really, what on earth is respectful about a white man appropriating the terminology of 'racists' to prove his own misguided point about 'reverse sexism' while asking people not to "lynch' him? Really?

Sera, with all due respect, your comemnt is superficial, injudicious, and ignorant.
1)- You immediately refer to Rabbi Blech as a white man in order to bolster your argument, rather than addressing the content of his article justly.
2)- Having done this, you then assume that his words are an appropriation, without citing what was appropriated. As it happens, Rabbi Blech cited comments that demean men as a whole, and said these were akin to demeaning any group as a whole. This is a consistent point. Substitute the word, "Black people", or any other group into the vile comments he cites, and no one would question their unacceptable nature.
3)- You are welcome to demonstrate that condemning anti-male fulminations is not sexist, and drawing attention to their growing popularity in left-wing circles is, in fact, misguided.

I, too, have been attacked as condoning child sex-abuse, rape in general, use of the date rape drug, and ESPECIALY for suggesting that women need to use situational awareness and take responsibility for their own behavior. To which the response has been the adamant insistence that women should be allowed to dance naked and drunk down main street if they want. Totally perverse insanity. You are right - we can't allow any group of people to be slandered and abused based on the behaviors of a distinct minority, and to use such a broad brush to condemn half of G-d's human creation is so far from Torah, it's unbelievable. Thank you for writing these articles - someone needs to bring rational balance back to this crazy conversation.

Jenny, I agree! I feel like I can’t speak speak up about this because hurting, angry women will twist what I say. My hope is that women triggered and offended by such a message will seek out healing from past trauma that has them yet ensnared by unforgiveness and bitterness. Then they can have peace and a healthy perspective.

Alas Rabbi Blech, you've committed the modern sin of speaking up against a sacred cow of the left: women are all good, men are all bad. When that happens, truth and rational thinking no longer matter. What's important is a glandular response vilifying the offender - a fate that also awaits anyone who dares challenge today's oppressive "progressive" mentality.

First let me make clear that I am against condeming men without proper evidence, or violence against police (or anyone else). One problem that has arisen due to this hearing on the justice is that a defence was put out "Be aware men, this could happen to you! Women, this could happen to your husband/son/ etc." This is a tactic that the right has used very successfully. Take a group that has a statistically verfied problem with another group (men have a history of assaulting women; lawabiding blacks are more likely to be killed by a cop then a law abiding white man)... and rather then tackle the problem and try to find a solution **, the right tries to make the party who needs to do some self correction and makes THEM into the victim! How often are men falsely accused vs women who are molested? The result of this trying to "switch the victim" (and earn political pull through this) maddens the true victims who see their true concerns from being heard and taken seriously being run over by this tactic. The worst is that these extreeme reactions from the left only adds fuel and fear to the fire... in essence these people only strengthen their opponents. Chalavi that we could start working together, but the political system as set up today encourages the nominations of extreemists. (** for example a black man made a video where he explained that cops RIGHTFULLY are scared, and if you Mr Law-Abiding Black Man are stopped here is how to move and act so that the cop can see you have no gun)

Another reason not to trust the Court of Public Opinion on anything, and to insist that serious allegations are properly investigated under the Rule of Law, and not on television, wherever and whenever possible. But why compare false accusations with sexual crimes? 1)- Falsely accusing someone is a crime, 2)- the law has a governing principle that it is better for 20 guilty men to go free than for one innocent man to go to prison. So having concern for false accusations is perfectly valid in and of itself. That is why investigations should be full and thorough, to the best of one's ability.

Yours was an article that spoke to the reality that we are living in now, an article that needed to be written and I for one am happier with honesty rather than muzzling those who hold views that do go with my tastes. That is the beauty of aish: civil, constructive articles that dare to challenge its audience to look at the world through the eyes of the other. Keep it up!

Because we live in fear of being attacked verbally for our views, my husband and I don't share them. There is no civil discourse anymore. Thank you Rabbi for fearlessly expressing your thoughts.

To all those who condemned R Blech, the evidence of hysterical demonstrations and refusal to understand what the presumption of innocence and due process are the signs of fascism and the stifling of differing views

The rabbi’s column wasn’t about the presumption of innocence. It was about something he called man hatred.

When all men are presumed guilty that kind of sounds like man hatred...

That isn’t what he wrote about. He wrote about women who said insulting things about men. And in his follow up column he emphasized that he had not written about the guilt/innocence presumption/corroboration issues.

We call it bigotry.

Insults won't work- I am agreed that we have a respectful conversation but also Action! what are you and the other sensitive and G.d fearing men doing to counter act what your fellows men have done and are doing? any conversation in the gym or while watching sports that could lead to respect for women? (and children) every little action can change someones behavior. You the righteous and offended men, please take action, make a petition, start a club, do something...

I know that you did not mean to be offensive, but would you ask a G-d-fearing person with black skin whether he ever had conversations with his fellow blacks (over fried chicken and watermelon) about respecting the property and health of whites, and spread the message that it is wrong to mug whites?
The statement would be offensive because it A., it presupposes that all black people have some collective power and influence over one another, B. it presupposes that black people predisposed to mugging would listen to G-d fearing black person just because he is black, C., it presupposes that black people don't harm other black people (when in fact they do so far more often than they harm people with white skin, and D., it resorts to half-amusing, but nonetheless offensive stereotypes.
For the record, men are murdered three times as often as women. Since we cannot stop bad men from murdering us, what makes you think we can stop them from raping women? Second of all, my best friend is my wife, who has great respect for me, and my worst enemy was a grade-eight bully, who would have beaten me up if I had acted on your advice. Third, I haven't seen the inside of a gym since 1983, when I left high school, and D., on the rare occasions when I have been dragged to a TV set, it has not been to watch sports.
I know that this may seem hard to believe, but bad men have never solicited my advice about anything, and would probably have ignored my advice if I were foolish enough to offer it.
We are really no more of a collective group of conspirators than Jews.

Attacking women and robbing them of their dignity is a crime. Men who commit this crime are criminals. The law already has a solution-- the only solution-- which is, after a full and fair investigation, imprisonment. This has been the case for centuries. Asking men to have conversations with other men about the non-permissibility of crime is fruitless, since criminals do not obey laws.

Thank you Rabbi Blech, it was prophetic to me when you wrote about this problem. Not a week ago I wondered why nothing had been said. To my surprise-there it was,Aish had the integrity to speak about this. I was falsely accused of domestic violence and served several months in prison. That was in 2010. Last year the woman came forward and told the court she had lied. I was granted a new trial, and was found innocent,January this year. I have forgiven her and we are still on speaking terms. Rabbi Blech I believe the Lord put this on your heart for such a time as this. Please everybody let us treat one another as we ourselves want to be treated. It is terrible that woman should live in fear! It is true that most men are not predators but the 3% or so that are guilty of hurting women need to be dealt with in some different way. Or keep them locked up for life? Let us find solutions together not by violence,screaming at each other. But using our God given minds. This world will never be perfect this side of Heaven but, let each of us do Her or His part right where we live. Amen!

It's crucial to speak out about the Truth, whether or not people will like it. Thank you Rabbi Blech for being brave and not afraid.

Anyone who has worked with troubled teens is well acquainted with what happened to your grandson. There are many cases of male social workers being falsely accused by spiteful young women. Those 3 simple words, "He touched me", can destroy your career in an instant. This happened to a psychologist I use to work with. His step daughter kept climbing out the window and running off with men. When he took steps to prevent her from escaping the house at night she called the Division of Youth and Family Services, accusing him of abuse. It almost ruined him. Rabbi Blech you are a brave man. I hope you are able to eat at a restaurant without some left wing radical screaming in your face, "Shame, Shame, Shame".

https://www.facebook.com/pantsuitnation11.8/videos/286757355266060

Sad indeed that you were attacked. I did not read the comments on your article but it wouldn't surprise me. Unfortunately most people's vocabulary is very limited - much like their vision. It seems in many issues and racism is included there is no middle ground. The pendulum goes from one extreme to the other. And maybe because in each of us there is some form of racism.

Not to speak out against extremism is to allow it to proliferate and take root as the new norm.

In the ongoing banality of evil, Jewish, Tutsi, Serb/Bosnian history (a short list to be sure) and the doings of ISIS, Al Quida, and their like, demonstrate to the world that silence is a very dangerous position to take in the face of demonization of the other.

Our present cultural wars is led by the strident Alt Left with its call to intersectionality of race, gender, sexuality, and immigration/refugee and the Alt Right with its own presumption of exceptionalism. Both play the political victim identity card. Both denounce their enemies with the same shrill voice, and both hold with all righteous conviction that they are the only true warriors for social justice.

If they are allowed to attain political power, woe to those who violate their ideology.

In this context, Rabbi Blech's cry is the voice of moderation calling for moderation.

1. People are discussing the column as if it was about the importance of the presumption of innocence. It had nothing to do with that. The column was about a supposed problem called “man hatred”, supposedly a problem of such significance that it qualifies as the “new racism”. 2. The timing of the column was the day after the debacle in the senate in which women who came forward with allegations of sexual misconduct by a powerful man were belittled, marginalized, insulted and ultimately dismissed without even receiving the courtesy of an independent, professional investigation of their charges as they requested. And as women all over the country were coming out many for the first time revealing the assaults on them by men, only to see the senate treat the issue as of no import relative to their political goals, this was the moment that Aish and the rabbi chose to raise the supposed issue of man hatred. Neither Aish nor the rabbi have denied that they were aware of the reaction the column would engender, especially given its timing. 3. The fact that the column needed to quote a few comments by radical individuals in order to posit that the supposed problem - man hatred - is a real problem warranting a column suggests an agenda to write the column first regardless of whether man hatred is a real issue. If it was an actual thing worth writing about, one would not need to find decades-old quotes by radical feminists to identify the problem. (Yes, a college professor just attacked the senate republicans in a moment of apparent rage at the handling of the Kavanaugh confirmation and used some rough language, and she was immediately disciplined by her university. Hardly evidence of man hatred, much less that it is rampant, much less that it is considered acceptable.) 4. The rabbi explains that he was motivated to write the column by an incident his grandson experienced at camp that had nothing to do with man hatred. The explanation made no sense.

I was sexually abused as as a child and the (very male) perpetrator even admitted to his actions. I generally don't trust men but to say that you don't need any sort of proof to ruin someone's life is just not fair. I am also very close to a man who I do completely trust. There is a women who doesn't like him who has accused him of multiple sexual crimes. She has also stated these crimes were done to many others, when the others said it never happened she just said they are either lying or the memories are too traumatic for them to remember. Seriously, at what point do you say that the man might possibly be innocent? I watched the hearings, there is absolutely no way to know what happened when they were in high school, although personally to me it seemed more likely that the truth was on kavanaughs side. For multiple women to come forward at that point, screaming and pointing fingers and demonizing anyone who disagrees, just take make a political point is asking for redicule and to say he is somehow related or responsible for what happened to all these women is man hate or racism or whatever you want to call it.

Mark,

If it is not a question of man-hatred, as you imply, then why should the alleged crimes of a supreme court judge nominee have any bearing on the timing of this post, unless, of course, you were insinuating that sexual abuse victims deserve to see any man punished for what a different man did to them?

To put things into perspective, if Kavanaugh had been an African American, who in his youth was alleged, without any corroborating evidence, to have mugged a white person, would you consider it insensitive to whites to publish an article condemning racism against African Americans—a day after Kavanaugh was nominated? Would you consider anyone who had ever been mugged by an African American to identify with the alleged victim of Kavanaugh's mugger by virtue of nothing but their race?
That sounds like pure, overt racism to me.

Mark,
You write:

"The timing of the column was the day after the debacle in the senate in which women who came forward with allegations of sexual misconduct by a powerful man were belittled, marginalized, insulted and ultimately dismissed without even receiving the courtesy of an independent, professional investigation of their charges as they requested."

What does Kavanaugh's maleness, power, or the gender of his alleged victims have to do with the timing of this post?
If what you are saying is true, and the crimes that he allegedly committed were not properly investigated, how does that in any way mitigate the author's point that hatred of men is a form of bigotry?
The only way someone could possibly be offended would be if they somehow believed that hatred of men is somehow more understandable a day after Kavanaugh's nomination.
As such, you have inadvertently suggested why the Rabbi's article is very timely—he is, after all, only warning us against the all-too-human reaction of guilt-by-association.

My point about the timing of the column is that the rabbi and aish.com chose as the schedule for publication of a column raising a contrived issue of man hatred as an alleged problem in the country the moment that people and especially women were reeling from the actual treatment of a woman. by the senate.

Anonymous,

That could only be true if you assume that talking about alleged man-hatred somehow detracts from the alleged mistreatment of one woman by the senate. The mere fact that you think that it does demonstrates why man-hatred is a problem.

If a Jew is mugged by an African American, would it be insensitive to write an article against racism?

"The fact that the column needed to quote a few comments by radical individuals in order to posit that the supposed problem - man hatred - is a real problem warranting a column suggests an agenda to write the column first regardless of whether man hatred is a real issue."
Please review these two Wikipedia articles of two different people accused of racist tweets, and let readers judge who is being unreal.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C._Christine_Fair[96]"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roseanne_Barr


In other words, Mark, the employee who has been hired to educate young men and women and who writes her own script, gets to keep her job after inciting to murder, while the employee who is not hired to educate anyone, reads from a script that someone else writes, and says something repugnant, but totally legal—loses hers!

Now tell me, Mark, are you really certain that man-hatred is not a real issue?!

The professor was disciplined by the college. If you think you've demonstrated by the fact that she was disciplined rather than fired that man hatred is a serious problem in this country, I don't think you've shown that at all. (BTW, I think calling her hyperbolic and angry statement incitement to murder seems a bit hyperbolic.)

He’s cherry-picked the most disagreeable comments in his follow up. I noticed that those who “responded” to me didn’t seem to have read what I wrote at all, so enamored were they with the pursuit of their own rhetoric. The fact remains that the vast majority of sexual assaults against women are unreported, and those that are are seldom prosecuted to convictions. The risk of making a false claim against a man far outweighs any perceived benefit for all but the most unhinged and vindictive, and neither Halacha nor US law rules from that fringe. To punish the majority and harangue us out of perceived persecution fosters baseless hatred. It causes real harm to girls and women.

I am glad you find these comments disagreeable. But where has Rabbi Blech punished the majority? Where has he condoned violence of this kind against women? False accusations, be they large or small in number, are crimes. So is sexual assault. The two do not cancel each other out. Rabbi Blech has not silenced those with genuine accusations. He has condemned those who make social-political capital out of these horrors by condemning and demeaning men, which is wrong.

I am do sorry that people reacted so negatively to what you said. There is a lot of truth in your words. Any accusation of sexual harassment should be investigated, but not all of them are true. Just ask the Duke Lacrosse team and the fraternity at the University of Virginia falsely accused of rape. I have a husband, a brother, a son, and male friends who are important to me and I worry about false accusations against them, as well as unwanted sexual advances against me and my daughter. I say this as a survivor of a sexual attack.

I agree with Rabbi Benjamin Blech. It's a crying shame that people respond with epithets and curses. If you must disagree, there is no need to be a barbarian.

I can't disagree with the points that Rabbi Blech made. I have a husband, sons, nephews, a father, a father-in-law, and a brother-in-law who are all gentlemen and I can't stand the thought of any of them having to defend themselves against a false accusation or just the hatred shown by radical feminists.
But...
Rabbi Blech, you're very smart and you write wonderful articles for thinking people. Therefore, I'm surprised that you would write an article about misandry at this time and NOT expect a backlash. We still live in a society in which we women not only fear sexual harassment and rape, but in which we know that if it does happen to us (G-d forbid), we have no guarantee of justice. This is a society in which Bill Cosby gets only 3 years for drugging and raping many women and Brock Turner gets almost nothing. In light of these things, any article about misandry is going to come off wrong.

Rabbi and all others who speak sense:
You urgently, urgently need to get the book "SJWs Always Lie" by Vox Day because these liars will get you resigned or fired if they can. NEVER APOLOGIZE to them--that's step 3 of your destruction.

Subduing the freedom of speech is the first step to totalitarianism--which always kills half the population.
It is life-and-death to get this book, read it and apply it.

Your comments are gross and irrational. A tiny, tiny fraction of men are wrongfully accused of sexual assault. 1 in 4 women are sexually assaulted. Saying "the pendulum has swong too far" is not being neutral or fair-minded, it is siding with rapists and rape culture.

and saying that this article means the Rabbi Blech is "siding with rapists and rape culture" - isn't "gross and irrational"? Again, you may disagree that the "pendulum has swung too far" but you have gone too far with your accusations of Rabbi Blech and his opinion.

Thank you for pointing out this incredible hypocrisy.
Like so many on the left: it's free speech until I disagree with it. THen it's hate speech.

Frimi - you nailed it! It's hate speech one you disagree with the left. Thanks for exercising your freedom of speech

Accusing the Rabbi of aligning with rapists and rape culture is absurd and abhorrent. Shame on you.
I'm a lawyer, feminist, and human rights advocate, and a woman. Your perspective is a dangerous one.

Rabbi, I applaud your pieces on this issue and sent them to many of my colleagues and friends. Well done!

The feminist movement in its wider sense has improved everyone's life in the West. But such movements are often led by a chorus of the committed. They can at times be unreasonable and the very determined have a tendency to see the enemy in all those who oppose something they advocate for, and all problems as nails requiring a hammer. The frequently emotional right of politics (and the extreme left) contains many such examples, so overly enthusiastic feminist academics are in good or bad company. I note that history often shifts through over reaction. This tendency increases all else equal in times of unease and anxiety - periods of economic and social change and uncertainty. In such times more people tend to believe in conspiracies and tolerance for others drops. This is arguably a wider problem than overly entitled biased educated Western women who believe in silly stuff or people overly inflating issues that really require more nuance. There is a real issue of poor female attitudes to men, just as this is partly a reaction to very poor attitudes to women by men. One of the problems perhaps is believing that women are inherently nicer than men - they aren't, they are far more exclusionary than we men and just as judgmental. Equally, the belief that women necessarily always have the moral high ground is flawed - often they do, sometimes they don't - we need to dispel some of these romantic myths, just as we do the myth of male staunchness and emotional woodenness.

I wrote three articles that explain who is destroy our children, and why. I hope to reach out to Rabbi Benjamin Blech with my essays, and would appreciate his reply. Thank you,
Tabitha (t-BEE'-thuh) Korol

I’ve learned that one of the problems that we’ve been dealing with ever since the first couple is the deriding of Chavah by Adam who blamed it all on H at the same time. האישה אשא נתתה עמדי הוא נתנה-לי מן-העת ואכל First Adam days it’s H’s fault because Adam couldn’t accept H’s without his being able to choose - although he DID choose when she was presented to him. Second, Adam puts all the blame onto her - this was his great sin (other than hide from H instead of running toward H. It took till Avraham and Sarah for this tikkun which puts Sarah on equal footing. And at one point when Sarah is accused of laughing by the 3 angels, Avraham actually LIES to protect her. The only difference between their laughters had to do with contexts: narrow (“me-related”) vs. broad (laughter about our H’s ability for wonderous deeds) . The rabbis talk about finding them in their tomb brushing each others’hair; they talk about the need for circumcision to make men more perfect - more female. Adam is not a person here. He is all of us. So is Chavah. Avraham and Sarah were also archetypes - Avot - as in “Avot Melachah” So we are still dealing with the same issues, but have been given remazim for its solution. That solution is NOT do unto others as they’ve done unto you. But to consider women as our equals and in some ways on a higher plane than males. What Adam needed was not to be alone: He needed “Otherness” that could help him see himself through another’s eyes and avoid the aloneness of solipsism.

I am a woman in absolute, unequivocal agreement with you, sir. I have felt this way for years, and the feminism has grown more venomous every year. Sir, this woman stands beside you. Shalom.

I don't believe anything in the original article was "untrue," but with respect to the writer, I do believe given recent events and the current social climate, it may not have been the best time to explore the subject -- hence, the strong reaction.

I agree with you that timing is crucial but I come to the opposite conclusion: For that reason, I believe Rabbi Blech decision to explore this subject at this time was correct and timely!

Not only doth the rabbi protest too much, at least for many readers whose criticisms have been left intact, he misstated the name of the new Supreme Ccourt justice in the fourth paragraph. It's BRETT Kavanaugh, not Brent Kavanaugh.

And that errant 'n' for a 't' would somehow repudiate his argument? Is that some type of Talmudic reasoning I'm not familiar with?

No, it's Bart O'Kavanaugh :)

I just heard of a movement out of Texas called Mama Bears. They are a group of mothers who fear for their sons in this age of #metoo. When an unsubstantiated statement, such as your grandson was threatened, becomes alive it is the same as trying to murder someone. Unfortunately, many do not live ethical and moral lives. Hashem created the Universe with words and most do not appreciate the power of speach and use it wisely.

They fear for their sons. Do they fear for their daughters? Of course men shouldn’t be falsely accused. But statistics show 1/3 - 1/5 (depending on specific statistics) women are sexually abused, assaulted, or harassed. Do you fear for your daughters’ safety as they go to school, walk down the street, take taxis, etc?

Numbers are fudgable. If I would base the statistic on my close relationship to the women and girls I know the statistic would be much much less. I wonder about these "statistics."

Rabbi Blech who was a very superb rav and rebbe of mine deserves kudos for examining the moral hysteria that feminism which has Always had as its goal the destruction of the conventional family with the view of the same as a comfortable concentration camp has recently displayed with the logic of a Lynch mobin our public discussions

Wow. I wonder why women feel threatened and unheard.

Ask anyone who supported Kavanaugh or does not blindly follow the left and its many runs how they felt after being confronted by the mobs in DC

People feel threatened by bad people, most of whom, are men,
When other bad people exploit that fact to target ALL men, then yes, you are talking about a lynch mob.

Aish.com I would like to post a comment very critical of this column, but it appears from the comments below that you are deleting many critical comments. Are there rules for what kinds of comments are acceptable? Please respond. I do not wish to waste time writing and posting a critical comment if you are going to delete it.

Remember, comments about how emotional women are that they are barely logical are OK. (so basically remove their right to vote, or something)

Men never get emotional about anything, nope. There is a case study that you need emotions plus logic to make a choice, because logic alone you will always remain indecisive.

I read the first article and I understood what Rabbi Blech just explained in this second one. As a survivor of sexual abuse, I refused to believe that every man is a devil of some sort, I have had the privilege to know men (my aunt's husbands & family friend) that were respectful and kind while I was growing up. I respectfully disagreed with any form of insult, even if you feel rage about something, insulting only will make things worst. We need open dialogue to understand and try repair for future generations why this kind of abuse happens in first place. it is scary that a professor see death as an option. It is concerning that a girl would use something so delicate to intimidate someone to get her way. That is Scary too.

I agree, Klaudya! I saw nothing wrong with the original article. He was trying to broach a sticky subject and had good reason for doing so.

I, too, was a victim of both rape AND false accusations (different events, obviously). I know what it is like from both sides.

How sad that we have lost the decency to examine evidence before deciding someone is guilty. A woman's say so is simply not enough in a society that is founded on innocent until proven guilty.

I have to wonder how many of the woman who are screaming so loudly would feel if it was their husband, son, father, brother being accused. Would they want it to be based simply on a woman's word without any substantiating evidence.

There are good and bad on both sides. Both genders have raped, albeit it more heavily on the male side. Both genders have lied. There is a whole database at one of the universities on false accusations. There have been examples recently.

Lives are destroyed when people are presumed guilty just because of "she said" or "he said". This is a dangerous road to go down.

Torah tells us there should be TWO witnesses before presumption of guilt. Torah also warns against giving false testimony.

It is time we take heed.

Rabbi Blech, I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this kind of backlash for writing what was on your mind. Some of the people who commented on your article are clearly proving your point, unfortunately, and probably not realizing (or caring) that that is what they are doing. Sadly, everything anyone does nowadays turns into a huge political debate and outward hatred toward one political party. Your article so obviously had nothing to do with politics, but everything gets misconstrued. You did absolutely nothing wrong, and you made a very valid point. I'm (almost) embarrassed to be a woman in this man-hating "feminist" universe. Maybe every woman who does hate men has zero male relatives they think is a good person. Either way, they took what you wrote and twisted it into their own words in order to fuel their fire for their "cause". Please ignore them. Again, I'm sorry. It is truly heartbreaking to know that unless we hold the same exact views on every topic as they do, we might as well die and are deserving of outward hatred, abuse, and bullying (exactly the opposite of what people claim to be against). Please keep writing, I have always enjoyed your articles.

Perhaps if you had spent the time it took to write this doubling down of your first article to try and hear the anger and understand why so many felt hurt by your words, you could have actually accomplished something. Hear it. People, mostly women but plenty of men as well, are tired of being marginalized and having their hurt ignored. That is the issue that needs leadership right now.

But this is an example of how men are also unheard. There is NO justification for bypassing due process of law or the principle of "innocent until proven guilty." Mobs shouting slogans, demonstrating and intimidating others do not constitute rational debate. They are not interested in hearing what others might have to say
Others' opinions are not worth hearing, right? What ever happened to rational reasoned discourse in this country? Why can't you disagree with someone without wanting to kill them? The attitude of that professor us outrageous and disgusting and shows her incomplete education.

There was no marginalizing in this article.

Typical feminist response. When you can't win the argument with reason you resort to hurt feelings. Even if you've been treated terribly by men in your life that is still no reason to be angry at all men, let alone hate them. That just makes you an ugly bigot. Your life will be much happier when you stop blaming other people for your unhappiness.

Rabbi Blech, I truly appreciated your articles on Misandry. I agree that the pendulum has swung the other way, and it became acceptable to hate and bang men. As a mother of sons and a wife, daughter, and sister to men, I want to protect them from this sanctioned racism! Kudos to Rabbi Blech for his courage to tell the truth.

In the wake of nasty comments aimed at a kind, gentle and insiteful scholarly Rabbi I must come to his defense. The shrill accusations calling for death and castration of men is beyond reason. The lack of civility that seems to be the sign of the decline and death of America, the new normal. The first amendment gives us the right of free speech. It also gives us the responsibility to make a statement of opinions without resorting to hate speech or violent words or damaging actions. We are Jews. We are expected to hold to a higher standard.

1. Is overheated rhetoric that comes from a place of anger and pain the same thing as hatred for or bigotry against an entire gender?

2. What on earth does a girl threatening a counselor to gain leverage in a disciplinary situation have to do with hatred or bigotry?

3. Is women hating men really a serious problem in our society that warrants a column on the subject? If you believe it is, you haven't made the case.

4. If you believe it is a serious problem warranting a column, can both you and Aish.com really have been unaware that its publication this week would be associated with the Kavanaugh nomination debacle? How is that possible? Do you understand why readers are skeptical?

Let's be fair, Ron. With respect to #4, I take Rabbi Blech at his word ('To those who have asked me what motivated me to write this … [i]t had nothing to do with the Supreme Court hearing'). I think Rabbi Blech would be the first one to acknowledge, though, that none of us operate in a vacuum and what's going in the world can impact our thinking and written/spoken words.

Barry, believe what you want. Given that a camper threatening a counselor to try to avoid discipline has literally nothing to do with "man hatred" and given that the Kavanaugh story is literally the overwhelmingly biggest story in the country over the past several weeks, the notion that neither the author nor Aish.com intended the column to be associated with the Kavanaugh debacle is palpably absurd. But, again, believe what you want.

I do have to say [Ms.?] Anonymous, that's I hear your point and I agree the Kavanaugh hearing probably did factor into the motivation to write and run the column. As for your suggestion that Rabbi Blech implied that the camper's threatening of the counselor is some manifestation of 'man hatred' [your emphasis], I think you're missing the Rabbi's point. What I read is his caution of the danger of ruining someone's life based on unproven allegations, be he/she a camp counselor or a Supreme Court nominee.

So we agree that the camper/counselor story (1) does highlight the danger of unproven allegations, but (2) has nothing whatsoever to do with the topic of the column -- the alleged problem of man hatred, i.e., anti-male bigotry. Yet it was that story (about one thing) that supposedly inspired the rabbi to write a column (about something else entirely). See the problem I'm having with the explanation?

I think we've arrived at some common ground to the extent that I agree with you that Rabbi Blech's column morphed from the subject of anti-male bigotry. I would never profess to speak for him but I suspect this most respected Professor of Talmud was trying to lighten the mood a bit and leave some room for constructive dialogue ('Can you hold off on my lynching ...')!

You misunderstood me. I agree that the camp story has nothing whatsoever to do with the supposed anti-male bigotry his column was about. My point is that his explanation that this unrelated topic is what spurred him to write his column about an entirely different topic therefore rings hollow. As for the topic of his column, he decried a phenomenon that doesn't apparently exist, making the case for the supposed problem by throwing together some old quotes out of context. The old Dworkin quote he quoted wasn't even from a person. It was from a character in a novel. So when he doubled down today, he came up with a recent quote. A professor who was appalled at the behavior of the Republicans in the Senate and lashed out at Republicans in the Senate. Yes, she used harsh language, but to extrapolate from her harsh language directed at individuals in anger to a general issue of man hatred is absurd. Plus, the professor he quoted was immediately suspended by her university for the harsh language she used, so using that as an example of this supposed man hatred supposedly being acceptable in society is grasping at straws. The good rabbi would have done well to try to understand why people were so angry about his first column, rather than being so quick to double down and write a no more persuasive follow on.

No, I didn't misunderstand you at all but I respectfully disagree with you (the two are not synonymous). As for what is acceptable to society, that is a relative thing. The fact that a presumably respectable professor would feel free to tweet what she did, speaks volumes. Additionally, I don't believe she was sanctioned. Just that she was transferred from a teaching role to a research one.

And I think you're nitpicking the Dworkin quote (apparently they were words she wrote for a character in her book, rather than having uttered them herself. Her radical feminist views are well known so the point you make strikes me as a distinction without a difference).


Finally, I have to tell you I take your comments seriously and I grant you that we all need to give this more thought.

It was reported that her removal from teaching was non-voluntary. The characterization of her as having "felt free" to tweet that seems like a biased take on it. One could as easily ask what could have driven a "presumably respectable" professor to endanger her career by tweeting something like that. In either case, extrapolating a societal problem of the acceptability of man hatred worthy of a column by a rabbi from an angry tweet directed at a group of politicians in a moment of national rage (among a good portion of the nation) seems over the top to me. As for Dworkin, she is one of the most radical feminist writers in the country, and again, extrapolating a societal problem of the acceptability of man hatred from her writing is not a reasonable approach in my opinion.

Yes, maybe some of those quotes are over the top. Far be it for me to put words in Rabbi Blech's mouth (from his writings that I've read, I couldn't even come close to his eloquence and wisdom), but did it ever occur to you that the approach he's taken is intended to provoke thought and discussion (if that's the case, it appears he's succeeded!)? Do you thinking quoting Condoleezza Rice in this context would be rhetorically effective?!

Finally, I believe the Rabbi was trying to lighten things up a bit and encourage the discussion ('Can you hold off on my lynching ...') so maybe we can relax a little!

I find your response unconvincing for two reasons. First, I don’t think it is useful to speculate about the author’s intentions. His words speak for themselves. (And they do strike me as earnest and serious. Not lighthearted. And I didn’t take the lynching comment as a joke, but rather as over the top rhetoric.). Second, if his goal was to provoke discussion (ie, to make some controversial and perhaps not entirely defensible claims to provoke debate), his behavior is not consistent with that. First, Aish has removed many critical comments from this page. If he wanted to provoke debate he would have asked Aish not to do that. Second, his defensive follow up column suggests that he was unhappy with the response to his first column, not delighted at the outcry it provoked. I’m not buying your analysis.

I don't pretend to speak for the Rabbi, but anyone who reads literature understands the context. I took the context as it was an attempt at humor in a post about a difficult topic.

I have seen that exact same comment in other writings by other people. I believe it was obviously an attempt to lighten things. I certainly did not see it as being an "over the top rhetoric".

There is a difference between lightening things up by injecting humor at one's own expense, versus at the expense of those one is arguing with. If it was light, it was at the expense of his critics, not himself.

Well said, Abigail. It’s interesting to me that so many of those characterizing the Rabbi’s remarks in such harm language due so under the cloak of Anonymity. Are they not comfortable with using their names? I assume, Abigail, you are a female and that most of those signing Anonymous are as well. How have you managed to escape the anger that many of them seem to suffer from?

This comment has been deleted.

I have no way of either verifying or refuting what you’re saying, ‘anonymous’, with respect to your suggestion that some posts have been deleted but I have to tell you that using that as the reason to not identify yourself does not compute! Frankly, it ruins your apparent thread of arguments because there’s no way to know which of the ‘anonymous’ post are yours!

Whether you understand why I’m anonymous or not doesn’t matter. You seemed interested in the question so I told you. All the anon posts in this thread are mine.

And I appreciate that, ‘anonymous’. This has turned into a pretty spirited discussion (judging by how narrow the dialogue column has gotten!). Ever consider that might have been what Rabbi Blech had in mind?

A elderly woman told the following true story that I find repeatedly occurring in different forms. When a automobile entered her town for the first time everyone crowded around the wonderwagon as its owner excitedly explained to the bewildered crowd how it works. One FOOL pipes in and says : I UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE SAYING , but where ARE the horses?

Your article was your opportunity to discuss the subject in a rational manner. I suggest you open your mind and listen to the feedback you're getting. Clearly you are out of touch on the issue.

Wow is Rabbi Blech tone deaf. There is a way to address hot topics like this, but this isn’t it. Keep doubling down and ignoring what women have to say.

Respectfully, Michy, I ask you to consider whether you are equating lack of political correctness with some auditory impairment. I don't believe Rabbi Blech is denying that women have not always been treated properly and inconsistent with the principles in the Torah (that he understands so much better than I do!). In the current atmosphere of hysterics and emotion, though, what I read in his words is calling for a semblance of fairness and due process when such serious accusations arise.

Barry, thanks for your respectful response. I believe in fairness and due process. And I think Rabbi Blech had some interesting things to say. But his writings just showed to women how much he just doesn’t understand. He doesn’t get it. He didn’t explain himself well. He doesn’t get the fear and the fact that we have to analyze every move we make lest we get blamed for everything. The only hysteria I’ve seen recently are from the men in office. The men who don’t get it.
There is a way to start a discussion about due process and considering people innocent until proven guilty and the author failed in opening a discussion. This is a discussion we should all be having right now, but the tone and words in this article (“lynching”) did not foster discussion.

And I appreciate what you are saying, Michy. Your words are well chosen and I do have to pause and give them some more careful consideration. I have to say that maybe there's some merit to what you've written but I have to wonder … could Rabbi Blech have found it hard to express what he was thinking? I don't know. This is a very hard subject but, I have to tell you, if a world-class Torah scholar and teacher doesn't have the words, what chance do the rest of us have?!

As for the 'men in office … who don't get it', I suspect none of us do completely [men or women] so let's keep talking.

"trying to get an unruly and disobedient young girl to follow camp rules, he was caught up short when she looked him straight in the face and said, “if you ever try to tell me what to do again I will tell everyone you touched my private parts.”Checkmate – because that would have destroyed his job and perhaps his future. And yes that can happen. " -- Actually, you can sexually assault multiple women and still get confirmed as Supreme Court Justice for life! You can even be accused of assaulting 22 women and get elected President of the United States! So it doesn't ruin men's lives. And do some research on the number of false rape reports, and then on the number of convicted rapists who even go to jail. It is the survivors who are suffering here.

I would never allow my children to be in this situation. Girls should be supervised by women and boys, by men.

When did women become infallible? No matter the claims without evidence, which Dr. Ford did not hsve, I will not condemn a man. No matter the genitalia.

Shalom, Rabbi. I am in a better position than most to speak about this subject. Between the ages of 16-20, I was raped three times, by three different men. One of them was a police officer. I will never forget how it felt each time. The pain. The humiliation. The fear. I got pregnant and I got an STD from the first one. When I was 22, my husband left me for another woman. If anyone is in a position to fear and even hate men, I would be the one. However, I don't. Not even close. I am always upset whenever I see men, individually or collectively disrespected. I had a wonderful relationship with my father and both grandfathers while they lived. I am close with my brother and my nephews. I have a male business partner whom I respect and adore. I have a healthy respect and even admiration for men. I have no wish to see them mistreated and I am glad that you spoke out about the issue at hand. I am proud of you and am impressed by your courage. Most of the squeaky wheels have no personal injuries at the hands of men, so they latch onto the stories of those who do as a means of furthering their own agendas. Thank you for being honest about what you see, Rabbi. I am grateful.
Your servant,

Katanya

Katanya, I am so sorry. For you to speak up with such kindness and positive regard for men in general after what you have been through is truly remarkable - and exemplary for the rest of us. Thank you.

Shalom and thank you, Regina. That was very kind. HaShem has done great things for me and holy is His Name.

As a woman, I was perplexed at some of the responses to Rabbi Blech’s initial article, many of which were extreme and did not reflect what he had been saying in his article. Is he not allowed to state his opinions, simply because some people don’t like them? I truly hope he continues to speak his mind even if his opinions may receive backlash by some.

He is trying to have a civil discourse and some are refusing that. Even if the man did not express things exactly as some would like, then dialog about it. Don't attack him over it!

Fact, men and women both accuse...both rightly and wrongly. And it needs to be addressed. And, yes...there IS a man hatred happening. My goodness, just look at the protests against someone for whom there was NO credible evidence. Yet, people are STILL saying Kavanaugh is a rapist. That boils down to emotional reactions and, yes, hatred.

I speak as both a rape survivor and someone falsely accused of a crime.

What disturbs me most is the absence of logic & reason exhibited by those who disapprove of Blech's article. I despair of contemporay supposed 'feminisim'. I no longer call myself a feminist, because of the mass hysteria accompanying it. You know what I actually think - the way some women behave now, so irrational etc, makes me think - wait for it - now I understand why some men tried to keep women out of politics & public life. False accusation is awful, as is threatened false accusation. Thanks R Blech for your thought provoking article.

If you read the names, you also can see male names made the same kind of comments. So should men also be kept out of politics and public life based on the action of a few?

Well said, Yael. I know I cited it a little while ago in response to another comment but I think it bears repeating. I invite readers to search for the video clip that documents how a group of women spoke to Senator Orrin Hatch as he was getting on an elevator the other day. The disrespectful, profanity-laced rant suffered by this 84 year old great American, who's served our country for some many years, defies words!

You are fortunate if you've never been subjected to a disrespectful, profanity-laced rant from your boss. I have, and in a job I needed to feed my family, without any of the perks that are bestowed on members of the Senare. I will save my sympathy for folks who are disrespected by their employers and work in unpleasant, degrading jobs.

You are correct that I've never experienced the 'disrespectful, profanity-laced rant' that Sen. Hatch was subjected to. And if you have, that is unacceptable and you have my sympathy. Your reply is Anonymous so I don't even have a clue as to your sex but it's doesn't really matter because such conduct would be unacceptable if you are a woman or a man victimized by either a man or a woman. I know it's anecdotal but I've been told by many women they would prefer to be supervised by a man rather than a woman. Finally, I have a significant store of empathy and that leaves with plenty for Senator Hatch! I have to ask you if you would you be equally apathetic if the object of that language was Sen. Murkowski or Feinstein?

While I prefer civility, it would not bother me if frustrated constituents were equally tough on Senators Feinstein or Murkowski.

I agree wholeheartedly. I think so many women's comments (not just on this, but on everything in the media) show how emotionally invested they are in everything that happens, so much so, that their logic completely flies out the window and they have no idea how biased they sound.

Rabbi, your words were thoughtful and temperate and I'd be saying that even if I was a women. I challenge honest and fair women out there to weigh in and make that clear! The ugliness of the diatribe I've heard lately exceeds anything I've ever witnessed. I challenge your readers to search for the video of the group of women who confronted most respected Senator Orrin Hatch, our longest serving Senator, who at the age of 84, deserves all our gratitude and praise as he continues 1his many years of public service. I can't quote what this group of women shouted at him because such profanity could never be printed on these pages.

Rabbi - You seem to be conflating overheated rhetoric triggered by justifiable anger with hatred and bigotry. You seem to be conflating threatening someone with slander in order to avoid discipline with hatred and bigotry. There seems to be a lot of conflation going on. In other words, you seem to be stretching in order to make a point: the point you and Aish.com seem to want to make is that - on this particular week - the supposed problem of man hatred is the one worth discussing. Do you understand why people are angry with you? They are not being irrational and you are not being, in your words, "lynched".

I am a woman.....have been since March 23, 1948. I have worked as a counselor in several fields, including Domestic Violence. I have seen, up close and personal, how the distrust and dislike of men has bloomed across t landscape of political correctness. Your article was respectful of every human being. You have never defended anything that harms women OR men. I personally have had a bellyful of the "me, too" movement and other forms of man-bashing. Not all men are "pigs," nor all all women "lambs." I have known violent, predatory women, who would not hesitate to assault or even rape a man. (And, for the record, yes, a woman CAN rape a man.) So, you go, Rabbi. This b'nai Noah woman appreciates your words. Thank you.

I have been raped and also falsely accused of a serious crime. Both are devastating.

I see the same thing you do. For several years I was part of an online group of women who had been raped and, although I saw a distrust of men (and women) in general, I never saw the hatred I see exhibited today.

Just because women are raped does not mean we should accept guilt without proof. Just because women are raped dose not mean we should simply believe all women.

G-d forbid that someone else should be automatically considered guilty because I have been raped. Get the evidence first...not "he said/she said"...real evidence!

I am saddened at what is happening out there.

I am sorry for what happened to your grandson. Agree w Howard that any camp needs to have protocol for dealing with unruly campers, as well as those who make false allegations. But. I know of soooo many women including myself and almost all of my friends who have had terrible experiences with men who acted badly but there was no rabbi or other leader to speak up for them.

Well done Rabbi Blech. You should not be bullied for speaking up and saying the truth. There seems to be no middle ground right now and there does seem to be an issue with misandry on the far left which is now becoming more and more obvious.

Less than 10% of rape and sexual abuse accusations by women against men have been proven false. And yet, you cherry-pick the most radical statements that do not necessarily represent the prevailing point of view in order infer a marginalized group's "hatred of men" is mainstream. It isn't. Furthermore: The timing of the posting of the original article contradicts your claim that it had nothing to do with the Kavanaugh hearings. You didn't mention him by name. You didn't have to. The message, which paints a picture of hordes of wome falsely accusing men, was unmistakeable, and provides aid and comfort to rapists and abusers within the Orthodox community and elsewhere. At the same time, the effect on women who have fought to be heard is chilling. You used the example of Potiphar's wife's accusation of Yosef to support your argument. For balance, you might want to consider the very different narrative of Yehuda and Tamar through the lens of current events. I have learned a lot from Aish over the years and hope this article is an aberration.

The statistic you quote is currently very popular - "Less than 10% of rape and sexual abuse accusations by women against men have been proven false. " I have no idea of the provenance of that allegation, and it certainly may be true. But the problem of unsupported allegation regarding such an emotional experience does remind me of Nietzsche's words: "Die Erinnerung sagt: "Ich habe das getan." Pride antwortet: "Das hätte ich nicht tun können." Schließlich liefert der Speicher."
Unfortunately, of course, the source of these words will provide a reason for readers to disregard their truth.

Sorry, I forgot to put in the translation:
Memory says "I did this." Pride answers "I could not have done this." Eventually, Memory yields.

"Less than 10% of accusations have been proven false ". How many have been proven accurate? It's pretty hard in most cases to prove either way. That statement is very misleading.

Thank you Ruth and Eliezer for the opportunity to clarify the statistics regarding false accusations. My source is a document from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center. They actually say that the prevalence of false reporting is between 2 and 10 percent. The number I quoted was conservative. They refer to three studies, including a 2009 study of 2059 cases of assault that found a 7.1% rate of false reports; a 1998-2007 study of 136 cases with a 5.9% false report rate; and a study from 2006 of 812 cases with a 2.1% rate of false reports. The conclusion is that false reporting rates are frequently inflated and may contribute to why many victims don't report sexual assaults. It seems clear that even if the numbers aren't precise, the range does not reflect any kind of threat towards men compared to the threat women face. I'm not sure if Aish permits outside links in the comments, but here is a direct link to the study: https://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/Publications_NSVRC_Overview_False-Reporting.pdf

Thank you, Moshe C., for the link. May I point out that the false finding does not include "baseless" or "unsubstantiated."

sorry, but I do respectfully object to this. this detracts from the dialogue. it does not add to it.

Despite how angry you made people here, you decided to go ahead and post the same exact thing on the Jewish press as well?

...it's sometimes necessary to SHAKE PEOPLE/WAKE PEOPLE UP. People can discuss their differences of opinion - at least that was the case before the democrats decided to shut down anyone who doesn't agree with them.

The Jewish Press reprinted it without my knowledge;I neither posted it nor approved it. Had I known there would be people who would twist my words and use my essay as springboard for hate-filled comments - including even mocking my name - I never would have permitted their publishing it. Keep being angry if that makes you feel better - but know that your additional attempt to smear me has absolutely no merit.

I apologize. I misunderstood and never meant the smear you. I was surprised by the thought that it be used again for Jewish Press without editing it with either parts or everything from your new article here to not frustrate a whole new audience over at the Jewish Press. Did not know it was used without your permission.

I'm sorry a young female camper threatened your grandson with a report of harassment. Organizations that deal regularly with children normally have Standard Operating Procedures to address reports of harassment and abuse. As an employee of such an organization, your grandson should have been trained to follow those rules. Those rules, in a nutshell, are commonly to report -- because reporting protects everyone. By making a record of the allegation and his response, your grandson could have protected himself from the accusation. And knowing that the report would protect him, he could have responded, "You go right ahead and do that, if you think I've done something wrong. And in the meantime, you need to follow camp rules." If your grandson was truly at risk in this situation from false accusation, that is the fault of the camp, for failing to have SOPs to address this situation. More likely, he never was at risk at all. Claiming he was at risk, though, distracts from the real risks of harassment women and girls bear daily. I pray that your granddaughters one day merit to experience the same, relatively salutary degree of harassment risk that your grandson does.

I believe that the point that Rabbi Blech is trying to make is that a young girl is prepared to make such an accusation -- apparently to take advantage of the current climate. I do not understand why anyone would think that he was not "at risk" from this accusation. That appears to me to be a very legitimate point to make. I did not see anywhere in the article above any "put down" of women, any disregard for their being mistreated, or any of the other accusations leveled against him.
I *do* think, however, that REGARDLESS of the horrendous history of men mistreating women, one can not take any accusation "automatically" at face value. Not because women are being "put down" but because Jewish Law has pretty strict standards for accepting an accusation. Yes, this will sometimes mean that the "victim" (man OR woman) will not be able to obtain "justice" from a Beit Din. And, THAT is why we say that -- ultimately -- "Justice belongs to G-d". We believe that when the Earthly Court is unable to act, that G-d will act "directly". As the Talmud bluntly puts it: Though the Earthly Beit Din can no longer execute criminals, the "punishments" still exist -- and those deemed "guilty" by G-d will receive those punishments. The Chofetz Chaim cites a story of a vicious cruel person who seemed to have a "good life" -- and then suffered a truly horrendous punishment.
I think that the point made here was that -- REGARDLESS of how terrible men have been, this must not be allowed to poison discourse. And, trust that G-dly justice will prevail when the earthly sort is stymied is an important point to remember.

No one is seriously arguing that one can "take any accusation 'automatically' at face value." That's a red herring, and "women should be believed" doesn't mean that. It might suggest, however, that when credible allegations are made, the FBI actually conduct a serious, thorough, impartial investigation first, and the conclusions be reached second. Nobody is talking about convicting someone of a capital crime without sufficient evidence, which is what your example is about. The particular context of this conversation is whether a perjuror against whom credible allegations of abuse were made should be confirmed to a lifetime appointment to one of the most powerful jobs in the country without taking the allegations very seriously and looking into them thoroughly. Substitute "women should be believed" with "people who allege abuse should be taken seriously." In either case, the way this was handled was a travesty, and to pick this time to invent the supposed problem of so-called man hatred and promote it is offensive.

I'm quite female a have personally felt threatened and have been harmed. That said, when there is a heinous crime that very often cannot be proven, is taken and used as a weapon against anyone who has the ability to do the crime and no one can say they believe someone who says they didn't do it because that means they don't care about victims of the real crime, it's going a bit too far.

Rabbi - A lot of people were very angry at your first column. Did you take a moment to try to understand why, before you wrote a second column doubling down? For better or worse, what you say and do reflects on Judaism, Orthodox Judaism and the rabbinate.

Generally if one says something that is misunderstood by others, they can explain what they meant and if someone still doesn't understand they can explain where clarification is still needed. Apparently in this case no one cared about what he was saying, all that matters is that a man said a woman may not always be right. So you're right explaining didn't help anyone who doesn't care to understand. If saying a truth that is uncomfortable to some reflects orthodoxy and the rabbinate, I'm quite happy with both.

Very well said, I couldn’t agree with you more.

Rabbi, yes. Misandry, the blanket characterization of all men as pigs and rapists, like any form of prejudice is wrong. But the fact of the matter is, misandry and the kind of oppression you describe here, is not what we’re seeing. For example, prejudice against left-handed people would, by the same logic, be very very wrong. But that prejudice is not one that exists. Any misandry and anti-left-handed-sentiments that may exist are statistically insignificant — the kind of deep oppression of men that you describe exists so minimally. But the prejudices and oppression that women face are widespread. They are a legitimate problem for our society, because they actually exist. Far far far more women suffer because of oppression by men than the other way around. So, yes, misandry is wrong. And if righteous men were suffering because of it, that would be a problem. But the suffering by righteous men that you describe does not exist. On the other hand, many many righteous women suffer because of sexism. In your article, you manufacture an oppression that does not exist. In the name of fighting an oppression that does not actuallly exist, you idly stand by or actively perpetuate actual suffering. The Torah does not allow us to turn our eyes from suffering. Nor does it allow us to manufacture fake suffering so that we don’t have to see or face the suffering that exists.

I think the point of the article is to highlight something that is upcoming and unnoticed by the vast majority. Everyone agrees that oppression of women did and does exist but that doesn't take away from the fact that because we are (rightfully) super focused on the issue, we ignore the instances when men are at risk. Just as even one woman who's life is ruined is one too much, so too one man's life ruined is one too much. We don't need to make men powerless in order to make women powerful. 2 wrongs don't make a right. Unfortunately in the current climate a woman's tounge is enough to ruin a mans life. And yes I do know men that I trust completely who's lives were ruined because women who don't like them used the power of their tongue. To say that it happens as often as lefty oppression is rediculous.

Try to imagine reading a post authored by someone named "Tom" authoritatively stating that hatred of women was like hatred of left-handed people, namely, non-existent.
You might wonder whether such a person went to sleep in 1958 only to wake up now. You might imagine such a person thinking to himself that women suffer from broken fingernails and compliments on their beauty while men who didn't get machine-gunned to death storming beaches in the Pacific—protecting innocent women and children—faced the prospect of working themselves to death supporting them.
Of course, if our imaginary friend Tom to say such thing in 2018, you would rightly say that 'mansplaining' is too kind a term to describe his glib, hypocritical staggeringly-uninformed arrogance. Likewise, if you were to read a faded, yellowed, 1958 article authored by "Tom" expressing those sentiments—in an era where the terms sexism, misogyny, and mansplaining had not yet been coined—then you would rightly conclude that said phenomena were probably about as unrecognized as second-hand smoke.
Talia, in light of the fact that we obviously know about as much as the other about what it is like to live as a member of the opposite sex, how do you explain the fact that, in 2018, only one of us feels empowered to voice her learned opinion about it as bluntly and as glibly as she feels?
Are you certain that your attitude does not resemble that of chain-smoker who is convinced that second-hand smoke is a fake phenomenon because she has never noticed it?

For the secular society out there we need to realize with the sexualization in commercials and ads and shows and niw our unfiltered phones and laptops and indeed some cultures a mans "scoring" is treated as a "victory" often. This is the world out there. Torah teaches us tahara and kedusha. Holiness and purity and self control and moderation and self respect. Indeed even in all backgrounds bad behavior happened it is much more in secular (maybe other clergy also) so many women have "issues" on the subject. Accusers need be respectfully heard but also of ciurse innocent till proven guilty of course

Once a woman no longer is obligated to use the Mikva, men can be too demanding. I wish I still had that shield.

I meant the important Torah values of KEDUSHA (holiness) and TAHARA( PURITY). (having a "clean" and "respectable" general frame of mind) By focusing on doing constructive kosher things including torah study and mitsvas and healthy activity it keeps the mind away from "the dark side". Torah Thought also looksa t women (and men) as human beings as oppoed to "Objects of Prey"

Rabbi--
I will be the first person to say that I do not agree with everything you write, but I have a lot of respect for you. Re: The women you quoted above. They were expressing what has been happening to women all throughout history. Do misandrists exist? Yes, I am certain they do but that is not what we are talking about here. Btw--I am certainly not a misandrist, but I HAVE been annoyed by males long after telling them to stop the behavior. Frankly, I believe that decent men need to stand up and say they will not tolerate unacceptable behavior from other males. Finally, I am very sorry for what your grandson experienced at camp. He most certainly did not deserve that response from that child. I hope her parents had the good judgment to seek out appropriate therapy for her.

If we did as you suggested, and ended up getting into fights over your 'honor', then feminists would seize upon it as yet more proof of violent, macho behavior.

Bigotry never allows itself to be bothered by its inconsistency, I'm afraid.