When British television interviewer Krishnan Guru-Murthy sat down with the actor Robert Downey Jr. on April 22, 2015, he seems to have had a more ambitious agenda in mind than merely helping Downey promote his latest film, Avengers: Age of Ultron. After discussing the movie for several minutes, Guru-Murthy steered the conversation towards Downey’s past, asking Downey about his political views, his relationship with his father, and his fraught history with drugs (for which he did some jail time). An increasingly uncomfortable-looking Downey at one point joked, “Are we promoting a movie?”
Guru-Murthy continued his personal line of questioning, eventually asking Downey if he felt “free” from his past. “I’m sorry, I really don’t…what are we doing?” Downey stammered, and then walked out of the interview, saying “It’s getting a little Diane Sawyer in here," referring to the former ABC news anchor whose in-depth personal interviews made her a renowned journalist. (Downey posed for a photo with Sawyer two days later, tweeting that it was a “corrective experience with legitimate journalism”.)
Rather than regretting the truncated interview, Guru-Murthy seemed delighted. Before the segment even aired, he tweeted: “Oh dear. Abrupt end to our Robert Downey Jr. interview when we started talking about jail and drugs." While his Downey interview quickly went viral, public opinion seemed to disapprove of his on-air tactics. Guru-Murthy’s initial tweet about Downey’s walkout garnered 300,000 “dislikes,” and a poll the next day showed public sympathy on the blogosphere tending towards Downey.
Perhaps that’s because many of us instinctively understand that words hurt and can do as much damage – or more – as physical harm. The Torah juxtaposes both types of harm: physical and verbal. After listing a long litany of ways that it is prohibited to cause another person financial or physical damage, the Torah admonishes “And you shall not wrong one another, but shall fear your God…” (Leviticus 25:17). To “wrong” in this context means to wound with words, and it’s considered infinitely worse than causing financial harm, for financial losses can be reversed, while emotional damage can be impossible to undo.
The Talmud provides a concrete example of what it means to wound with words: “One must not say to someone who has changed their ways: Remember your former deeds” (Bava Metzia 58b). Jewish law prohibits us to humiliate someone by bringing up his or her checkered past. People can change and their past no longer represents who they are now. It’s demeaning to straightjacket people with any label, all the more so with negative, outdated ones.
It’s easy to try to justify our speech by saying that our intentions were good, that we only brought up painful or awkward subjects in order to accomplish something important. That’s why the verse warning against humiliating another person concludes with the words “you shall fear your God.” The Almighty knows our true intentions. We can’t fool him.
Robert Downey Jr. is famous for his role as Iron Man and being the world’s highest paid actor, and now is he is known as an example of standing up to lashon hara, derogatory speech, reminding us of the importance to use our speech responsibly.
(28) Abbey Primeaux, December 12, 2015 2:10 PM
A proud Jewish woman
Mr Downey has been through way too much this year already with his Mother's death just over 1 year ago as I write this. At the time this interview was conducted on May 22, 2015, I believe, it was only 8 months to the day that his Mother passed away on September 22, 2015.
In print interviews to promote his movie "The Judge" just days after his she died he was ambushed over and over again about his drug use and prison time. I bled for him knowing full and well how life altering the loss of a Mother can be,
In my opinion Mr. Downey should have NEVER been placed in front of a microphone with a camera rolling. If I understand Jewish "Law" Mr, Downey and his sister Allyson should have been given a year to grieve. Clearly Mr, Downey wasn't afforded that luxury.
Since that interview he's been labelled a spoiled brat, a dead-head junkie, a stupid high school drop out and worse.
Where did love and decency go in our world?
This man has repeatedly thrown himself in front of speeding trains and taken the bullet for his friends and I just really hope they are returning the favor to him as I write this.
God Bless you Mr. Downey and my prayers are with you and your family at this time.
(27) D. Heimbigner, April 30, 2015 3:20 PM
Kudos to Downey.
Mr. Downey has candidly spoken about his substance abuse and jail many times previously. This was neither the place nor time to do so again.
This was a "promotional" interview and the "journalist" must understand that.
I thought Mr. Downey handled it with grace and just the right amount of humor.
Kudos!
(26) Beverly Margolis-Kurtin, April 30, 2015 2:01 AM
Glad he walked out
Mr. Downey has turned away from the things he formerly had done. I cannot stand lashon hara. People sometimes wonder why I walk out of meetings when gossip starts flying.
(25) Devorah, April 28, 2015 10:21 PM
If the tables were turned...
How would the interviewer feel if he were questioned publicly about something embarrassing in his past? Well done, Robert Downey. More celebrities should draw the line with reporters like this.
(24) Joe Cohen, April 28, 2015 1:53 PM
Good for Mr Downey. No one deserves that kind of blind sided treatment. He was perfectly in his right to leave the interview as it was not what was advised it would be about. Mr Downey's past is just that--his past.
Hooray for those who replied against the person conducting the interview.
Bravo Mr. Downey.
(23) hope mitchell, April 28, 2015 1:57 AM
I watched the interview too and felt incredulous that the interviewer thought that asking questions about the actor's relationship with his father,which would be broadcast around the world,was in any way relevant.Apart from anything else,it was such a rude thing to do.
(22) Hershel, April 27, 2015 9:23 PM
Be kind and show compassion to others
Guru-Murthy flat out ambushed Mr. Downey, hoping, I presume, to advance his own career. Who among us has not erred, especially earlier on in his or her life, in some unflattering manner and wished the indiscretion had never taken place. To remind this fine gentleman of his best-forgotten-past is classless to the max. Shame on him. An appropriate comment on Downey's part might have been, "And how about you, Guru, perhaps you would like to now share with the audience some of your regrettable past?
(21) Ayalah Haas, April 27, 2015 6:23 AM
Yvette Alt Miller Nails It. Again.
Firstly, I thank Yvette Alt Miller for another of your many interesting and heartfelt articles. Your style of writing is both engaging and noble. Second, I interviewed Robert Downey Jr. at length years ago, and he was one of the nicest and most honest actors I met. He has been a public figure for most of his life, and he has earned his ranking as one of Hollywood’s most talented performers. He survived a rotten childhood, a devastating addition, and hitting rock-bottom in a most public way. I am not surprised that he politely tolerated, and then excused himself from such an amateurish interview.
(20) Anonymous, April 27, 2015 5:02 AM
I get it
Although I wish people could rise above their pasts, and say, "Yes I was, but now I'm through that." (Much as Robin Williams did with his past of drug and alcohol abuse,
I get it.
No-one should have to be subjected to an uncomfortable interview by having his past brought up.
I think that Rashi, the famous Bible commentator, writes about this point. He is talking about Yisro, Moshe's father-in-law, and tells how we should be sensitive to a convert, and not mention his past.
I asked to be anonymous here, because I think I would be pretty upset if someone brought up my history of mental illness in a public interview.
It's time "the media" learned that there is such a thing as improper speech. Maybe a few more incidents (like walking out of interviews), could teach this valuable moral lesson.
(19) David Levine, April 27, 2015 1:49 AM
Stand Up To Liberals
Downey was pursued by this interviewer because he stated that he was not or no longer was a liberal. He is a man with backbone and a great actor as anyone who saw the movie "Chaplin" can, not MUST conclude. Good for him and may others in the entertainment community who abjure the sickening philosophy of left with liberalism have the courage to speak out and show the same disdain Downey showed to those who feel they have to intimidate non-liberals.
(18) sarah, April 26, 2015 10:33 PM
if any interview puts a person in a bad light for nothing but yellow journalism, it would have been better that it should not have taken place
(17) chana batya, April 26, 2015 9:34 PM
Robert Downey, Jr.
I am glad he walked out of the interview. It is non of our business what went on in his life. If he wants to share to help others that is different. Good For You!!!
(16) Anonymous, April 26, 2015 5:45 PM
Forgiveness??
Miriam, most people would be delighted that Mr. Downey was able to turn his life around and applaud him for his efforts.
That is a great lesson for our children.
Most teenagers do stupid things, such as drinking and/or doing drugs. Some get caught and others don't. People grow up and change. Mr. Downey paid for his mistake. To condemn a person for his entire life for an earlier mistake is hateful.
(15) Pamela Fender, April 26, 2015 5:42 PM
Perfect!
I saw that interview and the interviewer was indeed unprofessional and putting RDJ on the spot. It was even embarrassing for the listener.
Thank you for such a well-written article about the Torah's portion on harm.
(14) Feigele, April 26, 2015 5:18 PM
Who are we to judge another human?
This person (actor) has been going through lots of pain and problems in his life. Today, he seems to have climb up the ladder of decency and in good faith accepted an interview not believing someone could insult him that way. The interview was not supposed to be about his past but about his future, which he deserves respect for trying to be a better person. That was insulting and degrading and the interviewer should be reprimanded for such abuse. How many others, actor or not, go through same problems. Some get back on their feet, some never and end up in the ditch. No one is shielded from life’s struggles. It is a sin to try to push down someone in trouble even deeper.
(13) Phyllis Resnick, April 26, 2015 4:44 PM
Bravo, Robert Downey, Jr.!
Have always admired his workk. Now admire his principles as well!
(12) Miriam w. Cohen, April 26, 2015 4:33 PM
Mr Downey was right
Sorry, but I do not think that the rules were set for this kind of personal attack. He was supposed to be interviewed about the movie. Journalists today are mean and since when are gifted actors role models. They are actors after all.
(11) Michael Middlwton, April 26, 2015 4:19 PM
Robert Downey Jr. interview
Good for Robert. Take a stand in what y o u believe. Robert has proven he is a new man. My HaShem bless him all his days.
(10) Yocheved, April 26, 2015 4:03 PM
Entertainment is not an excuse for Lashon Hara is not
Thank you to Robert Downey Jr. for standing up and walking out on Lashon Hara!!
(9) Maria Dodoc, April 26, 2015 3:58 PM
Thank You!
(8) Ilbert, April 26, 2015 3:57 PM
Robert Downey Jr.
I am very proud of Robert. Krishnan Guru-Murthy behaved immorally in that interview. The wisdom of the Torah is amazing.
(7) Victor Gordon, April 26, 2015 3:49 PM
I don't agree
I don't agree. If an interview has been arranged with the specific intention of promoting a movie the focus should remain on the subject and not become a vehicle for a personal probe into the actor's past. If this were the intention of tjhe interviewer from the beginning the actor should have been forewarned and asked if he objected to this aspect of his life being covered as well. It's a matter of respect, plain and simple.
(6) Anna Malloy, April 26, 2015 3:46 PM
re Miriam response
I am glad that God will be my judge, not her.
(5) Anonymous, April 26, 2015 3:35 PM
Robert Downey Jr....
Mr Downey was a victim, I would have said & done the same thing... Walk out!
(4) Anonymous, April 26, 2015 3:31 PM
Robert Downey's wife is Jewish
and they had a Jewish wedding ceremony.
(3) John, April 26, 2015 3:06 PM
how "pure" were teh motives of Guru-Murthy
I think if an interviewer wants to ask questions out of the obvious bounds of the topic of the interview, that should be settled beforehand, not waiting to trap someone & hopefully force them to submit to your agenda.
My first response to Guru-Murthy would have been to ask him of his history - and all his failures. Once his own past was exorcized, then we could determine if we wished to consent to the rest of the interview.
I believe this line of questioning was done solely to drag Mr. Downey through the mud. And I do remember a quote from a spiritual leader - saying something similar to - if one of you is without sin - then you can throw the first stone.
(2) Stuart, April 26, 2015 2:45 PM
No credit for changing disastrous lifesyle?
Thank heaven we have more to deal with than unforgiving "Miriams" demanding excellent actors also be "role models". is that their task? Had always believed that parents, not actors nor athletes can be the most effective "models." Robert Downey Jr has beaten his enemies to become valued as one of the cinematic-worlds finest actors. But that accomplishment not enough for the Meriams of this world who demand punishment-everlasting. Get a grip Meriam and do some studying of "The Roaring 20's before using that period to bolster your unforgiving plaints.
(1) Miriam, April 26, 2015 11:21 AM
Guru-Murthy should be delighted.
And so am I! Perhaps if some of these low-life actors would get tough questions about their life choices we would have better role models for our children.
Think about it. Imagine it's the 1920's: Would an actor who sat jail time for drugs even be interviewed? Would anyone give him any respect at all?????
Rose Treasure, April 26, 2015 4:25 PM
Rose models??
You let actors be role models for your children? Actors are not role models, they are actors. It's not their job to model your children, it's yours. Try not using the electronic babysitter so much. Further, this reporter used deceptive tactics to get the interview, then brought up painful and unnecessary facts not related to the interview he agreed to take. If he wanted more, he should have said so. Mr. Downey is a great example of someone who can rise above the mistakes of their past and be successful in spite of the hardships they caused themselves. Only small-minded idiots think someone should be beaten for their mistakes for their entire lives.
Alan S., April 27, 2015 6:49 PM
excellent comment
Well said.
Abbey Primeaux, December 12, 2015 2:30 PM
A proud Jewish woman
"You let actors be role models for your children? Actors are not role models, they are actors. It's not their job to model your children, it's yours."
THANK YOU!
Mr Downey is of Jewish heritage, was raised Jewish, had a bar mitzvah that his good friend, Gweneth Paltrow, said she attended, had a traditional Jewish wedding to his wife Susan (of 10 years) who is also Jewish and by all accounts still practices his faith daily, Why the question of Mr. Downey's faith gets asked is beyond me. I remember when the polite thing to do was to not talk about someone's religion or politics. When did that change?
Abbey Primeaux, December 12, 2015 11:24 PM
As a matter of fact....
You should follow his Twitter or see some of the comments not erased on his appearances on YouTube and even comments on the internet. The man gets the WORST antisemitic hate I have ever read. Death threats, terror threats, personal religious jibes from all sides and it is my understanding that is one of the reasons he has such tight security. Of course some sinister rumblings around Hollywood are that the only reason he became successful was because other high powered Jews in Hollywood propped him up there. Yet he STILL makes his appearances, does his roles and gives interviews. even though sometimes those interviews backfire at the worst possible times in his life.
Alan, April 26, 2015 4:47 PM
Intent of interview to promote movie
The intent of the interview with Guru-Murthy was to promote Downey's latest movie. The interviewer's tangent into Downey's past was simply an ambush. Also, many actors of the past did less than savory acts, many of which were simply hushed up. Downey was right to walk out of the interview.
As to people changing who they are, one need only think of the Torah scholar Resh Lakish and his behavior in his younger years.
s., April 26, 2015 6:00 PM
To Miriam (re Guru-Murthy)
This particular actor has repented for his addictions. The journalists of today are nothing but sensation seekers and invasive and their journalism is worthless, except for some who still have standards. The reaction of this performer was very laudable.
Annonymous, April 26, 2015 6:05 PM
Guru Murthy is mean!! Silence is strength
Oy... I'm pretty religious, no TV, or nonjewish music at all. I don't relate to "famous people" as role models for my kids, and... neither do my kids! But considering that most people in the entertainment industry are playing around with recreational drugs and display licentious personal lives... I actually think someone who goes through rehab, and walks away from a public confrontation is doing A OK. As a very religious Jew, I'm impressed with major personal change and tend to believe it can happen... anywhere there is a neshama.
Abbey Primeaux, December 21, 2015 2:12 AM
You are a TROLL who should be banished from websites....
You purposefully try to offend Mr Downey at every turn: http://www.salon.com/2015/04/28/robert_downey_jr_s_weird_silence_reporters_arent_treating_him_like_a_kiddie_fiddler_who%E2%80%99s_running_for_mayor%E2%80%9D/