“I don’t plan to leave any money to my children,” the Russian billionaire Mikhail Fridman recently announced.
Mr. Fridman, a Jewish businessman who made his money in oil, banking and telecoms, isn’t exactly known for penny-pinching. A prolific philanthropist, he helped found the Russian Jewish Congress in 1996 and is a co-founder of the Genesis Prize, often called “Jewish Nobel Prize”.
But when it comes to his four children, aged between ten and 22, Mr. Fridman explained he feels inheriting his wealth would hamper them. Instead he plans on giving his fortune away to charity.
His unusual decision is backed up by research that shows how denying kids a guaranteed fortune might be the best way to ensure their happiness.
A major 2011 study of very wealthy people by Boston College found that “The respondents turn out to be a generally dissatisfied lot, whose money has contributed to deep anxieties involving love, work, and family." Once our basic needs for food and shelter are met, having additional wealth seems to make us more unhappy, rather than less.
This is also true for the rest of us less wealthy folks. Over the past 60 years, Americans in general have become much richer by many measures. In the 1950s, the average size of new homes was 950 square feet; today that size has swelled to 2,500. Americans now spend 71% of the nation’s $15 trillion economy on consumer goods. The average British woman today owns fully twice as many clothes as British women in the 1980s.
Yet surveys of happiness show that all this vast new wealth hasn’t made us any more content. In fact, happiness levels peaked in the United States in 1957. “We felt richer then than we do now,” psychologist Paul Wachtel notes in the 2014 book Affluenza, “even though in terms of gross national product we have more than twice as much as we did then.”
Too often, focusing on acquiring more stuff can distract us from what’s truly important in life.
A host of recent studies have shown that it's the toil of working towards goals that is associated with higher levels of satisfaction and life pleasure, not wealth. Grappling with difficult situations and overcoming challenges helps us to grow and that is more satisfying than anything money can buy. As Shakespeare observed, "Things won are done, joy's soul lies in the doing." They are echoing the wisdom of the sages who said, "According to the effort is the reward" (Ethics of the Fathers, 5:26).
When my father was still working, he advised business owners. I remember how impressed he was with many of his clients – their drive and energy and how they’d overcome obstacles to build a business. The second generation, he often noticed, was spared many of the hurdles and difficulties of their parents. But my father couldn’t help but feel that these children raised with great comfort and wealth were missing something.
I thought of my father's words years later when my own kids were small and we had a wonderful babysitter. She had a comfortable upbringing but there was one thing her parents would not buy her: a jacket from a popular designer. For months our babysitter worked hard to afford that coat and when she finally bought it, it was one of her most treasured possessions.
Feeling satisfaction that comes from challenging ourselves does not require a daunting goal. Researchers from Stanford University, the University of Houston and Harvard University have found that setting even modest concrete goals can make us happy in a way that being given lots of money never can.
In a series of experiments, people were asked to set specific goals for themselves. These were modest and easily achievable. In one experiment, participants were asked to "Do something to make someone else smile”. A day later they were then asked to rate their levels of happiness. Those who had set – and achieved – even modest concrete goals “created more personal happiness with their act" than others.
It's human nature to want to grow, to create, to leave our mark on the world. When Mikhail Fridman announced the establishment of the Genesis Prize, the "Jewish Nobel", he explained that "Far-reaching achievements in science, the arts, business, medicine, diplomacy and other fields of human endeavor have been realized thanks to the Jewish people's natural aspirations to improve the world and to its desire to pass its moral values on to coming generations. This tradition of the Jewish people must continue."
By denying his children his fortune, Mr. Fridman may be giving his kids the best gift of all: the means to become part of this timeless chain, creating and striving, to make the world a better place.
(20) Kathy, February 5, 2019 5:01 AM
Not Black and White Issue
While the billionaire father plans to leave nothing to his children; he would be more thoughtful to set aside some money, perhaps in a trust, that could be used by the descendants in an unfortunate turn of events - for instance, emergency childcare, physical renovation of a house to make it wheelchair friendly, money for grandchildren’s college in case a parent becomes incapacitated, etc. I think few would consider leaving this kind of money as indulgent.
(19) David Cohen, August 16, 2018 5:51 PM
Use the money as an incentive to be better people
Too many of the scions of great wealth have made their own power and pleasure their priority in life. I find people who live that way are some of the most dissatisfied and nasty people I've ever met. People who work for something greater than themselves are the happiest people I know, whether or not that have wealth.
The kids don't actually need a Billion Dollars. Actually, he could use his money to give his children an incentive to achieve for themselves. Reward their own initiative by giving them some money commensurate to their own efforts to build a life for themselves, but also to give back to the world. Choose a board to decide on dispersal of funds under certain conditions. That they provide a living for themselves, but also for the kids to build projects to advance society. Support for those less fortunate to gain independence, to resolve conflict and reduce violence and protect the natural Environment.
(18) Dr Grace Goedhart, November 22, 2016 11:24 PM
Spoiled children are miserable children
I absolutely agree with him - I have been wealthy and I have been broke, but my happiness has always come from giving to others, in both states. Children who are just 'given' everything grow up to be selfish and entitled, and often mean-spirited. True wealth is not in how much money you have, but in how many lives you can affect positively/
(17) Ellen Jensen, July 21, 2016 2:15 PM
give them a good start
I believe he is at least 90% right. As the youngest is 10, and there is no telling when he has to say goodbye to his children, I believe he should arrange for an educational fund with some living expenses so all of them can get a good education, and he should also get them to participate in some decisions about donations, so they realize how important helping those in need is.
When the children know he wants to protect them and also wants them to learn good practices, that will bring blessing to their lives and those of their children, they are much less likely to resent his decision. And he did not say what he would do about his wife. She, too, may need to be provided for.
I wish him and his family all the best! May Hashem bless them in every way!
(16) Anonymous, June 4, 2016 8:50 PM
The wealthy father can be creative and leave partially his money in increments. His children probably paid a high price for the lack of time and attention while he was developing his wealth. He can leave an ethical will advising his children how to use their inheritance. If he does not leave them a generous portion, they will grow up disliking him and all will miss the opportunity of honouring their father and he will miss the honors in his memory including kaddish. I think his reasoning is over simplified and they are probably already paying the
'price 'of his philosophy.
(15) Anonymous, June 3, 2016 8:18 PM
Give it NOW
why doesn't he give away all of his money NOW except for a house, an annuity that will give him an average year's salary enough capital to begin one more company....
(14) Marla, June 1, 2016 10:29 PM
POVERTY THINKING...
Unfortunately this man is stuck in an immature mindset where everything is either black or white. Everyone has "issues" around money--but obviously this man doesn't have money--money has this man! Balance is everything--but to cut his children out of a fair inheritance displays a stingy and bankrupt mindset AND spirit!---and it has NOTHING to do with his actual net worth. To share with your loved ones in every way-especially your children---is a natural function of love. By denying them he is just about saying that he doesn't trust them with it--Again-nothing to do w/money. It is his responsibility to empower his kids to have enough self-esteem to be able to accomplish their highest goals in the world--to teach them the TRUE RESPONSIBILITY and BLESSING it is to have funds available to contribute to the wellbeing of others!! It seems that this man,himself, has a warped sense of the meaning of Abundance. There is nothing as sad as having a Neshuma that is in poverty. That is REALLY being POOR.
(13) Feigele, May 31, 2016 4:54 PM
Legacy Null and Void!
By leaving nothing to his children is like cutting his own limbs leaving his children in a limbo in today’s world of economic uncertainty. If they had it easy up to now, how will they know how to start from the bottom of the ladder? Have they been trained to handle worse situations? If done progressively, maybe they will survive but some might not. If they were born with a silver spoon, how can a loving parent tarnish this spoon! Instead, give them the tools to carry on the legacy or else all the parent’s accomplishment will be null and void.
(12) Anny Matar, May 31, 2016 4:17 PM
I wish I had his problem
When you're not as rich as he is then you wish you had some of his money, as he does, to help his people. It's true money doesn't make people happy, happiness is something you find within yourself. I agree that children should not have to carry the "burden" of money but if they grow up in a surrounding of wealth, I think you can't drop them into the abyss of poverty and force them to start life at 0. There must be a middle way like giving them some allowance, allowing them to have a foothold from which to jump, they can't cope with such sudden change.
Advice from a great-grandmother find a way to ensure their education without too much cash, have the bank or a someone you trust to look after the little you give them, see how they cope, GIVE THEM A CHANCE!!!
(11) Michael, May 30, 2016 9:02 AM
You are doing the children a favor.....
# 6 comments are so sad and it happens so often in families with deep pockets. I have to agree Mr. Fridman and I am sure he will provide for them in only a crisis.
MY son became very successful by working very hard that provides him and his doctor wife with a very comfortable life. in all respects.
Mr. Fridman has my respect and helping the Jews of Russia. I would imagine what he had to encounter being a businessman in Russia who have never had to much use for Jews. G-D' blessing unto you Mr. Fridman.
So man think Jews are all financially secured. Never was, many Jews worked hard in middle class jobs that afforeded them the basics of life. Many a Rabbi in the USA live a merge life serving Jews and the Almighty. These are my hero'.
I know many a person that are very wealthy, to say they are unhappy would be an understatement. They are all afraid that someone will take advantage of them and are real miserable even living in estates and having many other homes. Billion' does not equal happiness.
May G-d also bless Israel and all Jews and the great staff at Aish.com..
PS - I would love for Mr. Fridman to cut a check of millions of dollars to aish.com for doing God' work here on earth, that benefit's millions of Jews and Gentiles.
(10) Scott Noren, May 30, 2016 3:24 AM
moderation
A father has a halachic requirement to leave money to his wife and children, beyond the scope of this comment. Leaving even a modest amount to family and donating the rest would seem to be a more moderate plan.
Ben Meoks, May 30, 2016 5:45 PM
No such halacha
The guemara actually advices one to use all his money before one's death, if you used a lifetime to earn the money use it the best way possible, not for someone (even your children) to enjoy a work-free luxury lifestyle.
That said it's not clear-cut, but don't misquote halacha.
(9) Sidney, May 29, 2016 10:59 PM
Against Halachah
The Halachah clearly states that one should not disinherit one's children (even wayward ones because maybe they will do Teshuvah (repent).
I could see that he doesn't want to spoil them but at least leave them what an upper middle class parent would.
Shame on him.
(8) Rachel, May 29, 2016 5:31 PM
Agree about balance
If possible, parents should leave their children a comfortable sum or other assets. If he's provided for their educations or bought a home for each of them, or provided real positions in his company, that gives them the opportunity to continue to grow on their own without having to live with the stress of living in poverty.
(7) Feigele, May 29, 2016 5:02 PM
To a certain Extent for sure!
Yes. What if some of the children become incapacited with illness or injury so bad that they cant function on their own or lose their income and what if their own children become sick or injured, etc... They still must be provided for these circumstances that occur in everyone's life, if there are means to do so coming from their parents. Its not for everyone to have this opportunity in life, so they should embrace it and safeguard it. The father is not giving them a lesson, he is punishing them. Yes give some to charity, absolutely but not all.
(6) Anonymous, May 29, 2016 4:52 PM
Better what he is doing than my father!
Since my brother was murdered years ago, it has only been me and my younger sister. Dad has been extremely generous with her while leaving me without anything substantial.
He has ruined my nephew by giving him everything and paying his way since grandpa believes he can't live on what he earns.
So, I would have rather that dad leave his money to charity or as is now he's spending $200,000/year for mom's care in a memory facility. My sister hands him a bill at the end of the month, and she gets reimbursed supposedly for caring for dad. But, he had other people she arranged to come it to care for him, and she is off traveling on his money.
Even my cousins are trying to be nice to my dad to see they get remembered. He has been generous to them in the past.
So, the way my dad is dealing with his money, it is causing divisiveness in our family. Family members aren't talking to other and I know that others have been saying horrible lies about me, to keep me away from dad. Even my son was discouraged from visiting his grandparents since my sister is afraid he will get money she wants for herself and her kids.
This is disgraceful on my dad's part to play one against the other. I know how hard he worked to earn every penny. My sister doesn't remember and our kids don't have any idea.
I just hope that if dad goes first, that my mom continues to get the care she deserves. My sister will have power of attorney and I don't trust her.
Anonymous, May 29, 2016 9:46 PM
To #6 anonymous
What a horrible situation your father has created!
(5) Alan, May 29, 2016 3:49 PM
Establishing a Balance
As a professional estate planning lawyer for almost 40 years I understand the angst that some wealthy parents feel about leaving their children too much. But the character of our children is shaped much more by how we raised them and the values we instilled than the money left to them. I don't agree with leaving children nothing because it may expose the children to burdens and obstacles that could have easily been avoided without dampening their ambition and drive. I don't know whether Mr. Fridman truly intends to leave his children nothing (and to do little or nothing for them during his lifetime from a financial perspective), but I would recommend that he consider providing for his children to some extent to help them with education, purchasing a home, perhaps starting a business, and encouraging philanthropy among his children. I certainly welcome his charitable habits and goals.
Respectfully,
Alan
(4) betty, May 29, 2016 3:08 PM
He could invest towards education and give each of them a project they are interested in. From there the kids can better themselves. Not to give them anything is UTTER SHAME. If he is trying to prove something he is mistaken. He might make the kids bitter and resentful. Is this the legacy he wants to leave behind ?
(3) Judith Herzog, May 29, 2016 2:51 PM
The money is not what's important to the children
This man must not only be really angry at his own father, but also hate his children... to leave them with nothing? It is not the money that will be important to them, but, rather, the fact that their father did not care enough about them to let them benefit at least to some extent from his work, from all the time he spent away from them to earn money to give to someone else. That way, he doesn't have to spend any of his energies on them at all! Ever! This is not to say that he should not leave some to tzedakah- but he should also leave some to his wife and children. After all, they helped him to achieve! Then he needs to learn some proper Torah/family values so he can teach his children how to appropriately view and use what he left them, to see it as a symbol of his love for them (assuming he has any) and not as making them "entitled." In this way, what he leaves them serves to acknowledge that he loves and cares for them and values them as his children, instead of cutting them off as "not worthy of his efforts."
(2) Gunther, May 29, 2016 1:53 PM
The way the rich people acquire so much of the world's wealth, they have not made the world a better place. Look at the Walton family of the Walmart stores having the wealth of the bottom 44% of the American population; yet, they are such cheapskates in paying their workers good wages and benefits and then helping their workers applied for government assistance. In the 1980s a whole bunch of American rich people got together and were determine not to pay any taxes while at the same time, still be able to access government services. Well, for the most party they have succeed in their goals.
(1) Miriam, May 29, 2016 10:18 AM
Very interesting, Yvette
Thank you!