There is a remarkable story that took place toward the end of World War II. An American soldier’s platoon liberated one of the Nazi death camps. The camp was filled with hundreds of half-starved children. The American soldiers quickly set up a huge pot of soup to feed the kids, and the children lined up behind it, eager to get their share of the precious food.
One particular soldier made eye contact with a boy at the end of the line who was waiting patiently for his soup. The American approached the boy, and since he couldn’t speak the boy’s native language, he communicated by offering the boy a warm hug. After they finished hugging, the soldier looked up and noticed that the children who were previously lined up for the soup had postponed their chance to eat and instead formed a line behind the soldier to receive their hugs as well.
There are times when hugs are more needed than food, when an embrace is more satisfying than sustenance. Our bodies require calories but our souls have to feel the warmth of touch and of love conveyed by a loved one.
King Solomon, the wisest of all men, long ago taught us in the book of Ecclesiastes that there is “A time to embrace and a time to cease from embracing” (Ecclesiastes 3:5). The sequence is significant. There may be good cause at times to cease from embracing. Surely a plague is one of them. But we dare never forget that human contact is an ideal – an ideal which may have tragically been all too often unattainable in these last few months during the fearsome attack of coronavirus.
“I haven’t been hugged in months,” said a close friend to me over the phone. “I can only imagine lying in a hospital bed, fearful of death, with no one to hug you.” There are no words to describe what it must’ve been like for the woman who had tested positive for the virus and given birth without being allowed to hold her newborn infant for weeks on end. I remain haunted by the image of a 90-year-old great-grandmother looking through her nursing home window separating her from her loved ones, not knowing whether she would live long enough to ever again hug them or kiss them.
One of the things we need to take away from these difficult months of deprivation as we return to normalcy is to never again fail to appreciate what we previously so very much took for granted.
Who would’ve guessed how much power there is in the humble hug?
In a remarkable study published in the scientific journal Psychological Science, the authors investigated the relationship of hugging, social support, and the probability of getting sick in 404 volunteers from the Pittsburgh area. First, the volunteers were called every evening for 14 days and asked about their social relationships, whether they had been hugged that day and how often. On average, there was a clear relationship that individuals who had been hugged more also felt like they received greater social support.
Studies show that hugging is an effective way to reduce stress and infection risk by conveying social support.
Now for the even more interesting part of the study: Some time after the phone interviews had been completed, the volunteers were invited to an isolated floor of a local hotel and were quarantined in separate rooms. The investigators then gave them nasal drops containing a virus that caused common cold-like illnesses. Interestingly, how often somebody had been hugged clearly influenced the infection risk. Volunteers who had been hugged more had a decreased risk of infection. Moreover, among volunteers who got infected, those who had been hugged more had less severe symptoms, their noses were less stuffy. The authors concluded that hugging is an effective way to reduce stress and infection risk by conveying social support.
The common cold does not seem to be the only disease affected by hugging. Cardiovascular diseases are among the leading causes of death in the United States and in many other countries. One of the major risk factors for developing potentially fatal heart disease is high blood pressure – and hugging has been shown to reduce blood pressure in a 2005 study published in the scientific journal Biological Psychology.
Having witnessed firsthand the dire consequences of our inability to embrace our loved ones, give extra hugs to those who surround you, and when life returns to normal, let us embrace this powerful and much-needed communication with our loved ones.
(5) Anonymous, June 3, 2020 5:46 PM
I loved this piece. I am wondering if you could provide me with the source for the hug story, regarding the Holocaust survivor. I would like to use that story in a speech that I am going to be making in the not distant future.
(4) Rifky, May 21, 2020 9:28 PM
Emotional
I loved this article!
It's so true
Thanks a lot!!!
(3) Ari, May 21, 2020 5:36 PM
So true!
So true, and help explains why necessity being the mother of invention, you can get this: https://www.bbc.com/news/av/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-52708674/coronavirus-man-devises-cuddle-curtain-to-hug-gran
(2) Anonymous, May 19, 2020 10:47 PM
source
Great article. Very interesting story about the children at liberation. What's the source for this story?
(1) Rachel, May 19, 2020 12:42 PM
Tznius interferes with hugging
How do you reconcile the laws of tznius with the need for hugs? My son-in-Law is going through tough things right now but I cannot put my arms around him. While there is obviously the danger that some touching may be inappropriate, sometimes it is innocent and reassuring, as in the case of the soldier and the children.
jamie, May 19, 2020 12:55 PM
as king solomon taught,
you never win thinking you can go above the rules. Rabbi Blech is certainly not advocating for hugs to people of the opposite sex. You can tell your son in law that you wish you can hug him, and your husband or son can give him a hug on your behalf. Not quite the same, but does deliver your message of support while adhering to jewish law
Rachel, May 21, 2020 3:42 AM
I didn’t say I “can go above the rules”
I am questioning the therapeutic benefit of hugs when we are prohibited from doing so with half the human race! I think the article would have been more helpful if it talked about other forms of contact that are 100% kosher. A hug is only welcome when it is a spontaneous expression of support. If my son-in-Law directed me to hug my daughter or vice verse, that would be pretty offensive.