Ray Rice just lost his career, his multimillion dollar endorsements and his reputation – all because of a video that just went viral.
Rice is – or perhaps more correctly, was – a National Football League superstar. One of the league’s top rushers of the past few years, he was instrumental in bringing about the Baltimore Ravens 2012 championship season. As a reward, he signed a five-year $40 million contract extension that included 24 million in guaranteed money. Nike, the world’s largest sporting goods maker, paid Rice a magnificent sum to serve as their national spokesman.
All that has now come to an end. Rice has been permanently suspended by his team and the NFL as the result of an elevator video that showed him brutally punching in the face the woman who was then his fiancée, now his wife, a blow that banged her head against the rail and rendered her unconscious.
Before the video went public, Rice was given the rather lenient punishment of a two-game suspension, but it soon became apparent to both owners and fans that a far stronger disciplinary response was required. Once we actually saw the brutal violence on film almost everyone agreed there had to be severe consequences.
Too bad Ray Rice didn’t realize he was on camera. But today cameras are ubiquitous. It’s a new age where so much of what we do is actually being recorded by someone, somewhere. In fact, that very knowledge is oftentimes good enough to make us behave and to ensure that we don’t violate the law for fear of being caught on tape. A recent study shows a 28% reduction in crashes at intersections with red light cameras; if you know you’re on camera you’re not going to jump the light just because you’re in a hurry.
Our lives are being recorded.
Modern technology has added a powerful new incentive to be much more careful with the things we do in public and even when we think we are in private. But from a religious perspective it’s amazing that we haven’t realized that long before hidden cameras made us visible at red lights, in elevators and in our seemingly anonymous visits to countless places, our lives have always been recorded.
In the Talmudic text, The Ethics of the Fathers, we were long-ago cautioned: “Contemplate three things, and you will not come to the hands of transgression: Know what is above you – a seeing eye, a listening ear, and all your deeds are being inscribed in a book” [2:1].
To believe in God is to acknowledge that a higher power takes note of our daily activities. Our lives really matter. Everything that we do has cosmic significance. Our actions are noted and evaluated. They form the key to our final judgment.
Our Eternal Film
Today there is a great deal of discussion about near-death experiences. It is a fascinating field made all the more relevant by way of medical advances that are able in many instances to resuscitate those who, because of the lack of pulse as well as brain activity, were considered to be dead.
What happens after we die has of course always been no more than conjecture. Yet Kabbalah, the Jewish mystical tradition, gave us some insight based on ancient beliefs. We’ve been taught that immediately after death we see a great, beautiful and warm light at the end of a long tunnel to which we seem to be traveling. As we do so we are amazed to suddenly see a visual review of our lives passing before our eyes as if witnessing it in a movie. Events that took years flash by in seconds and yet we remember and understand them. And it is then that we have the most profound emotions, both of joy and of sorrow.
When we recollect moments of spiritual achievements, of kindness to others, of study and of sanctity we are filled with a happiness beyond earthly compare. When, however, we are shown actions of sinfulness, of unethical behavior, of transgressions between ourselves and God as well as with fellow human beings, we are overwhelmed with shame. It is an overpowering embarrassment our souls feel as we are about to face our Creator with the visual evidence of our great failings. That is perhaps the most painful punishment awaiting us in what we call hell – our being forced to confront an undeniable tape of our sins.
Knowing that the divine camera records our every move should motivate us to do what’s right.
For what it’s worth, the voluminous literature on what is called near-death experiences – people brought back to life ever having been declared dead – is filled with descriptions very similar to that which has been taught for centuries by Kabbalah. The divine movie of our lives filmed in heaven is one we are all destined to view as soon as we leave our mortal remains.
Surely that knowledge ought to have profound bearing on the way in which we lead our lives at present. Knowing that the divine camera records our every move should motivate us to do what’s right.
How fitting for us to remember before the High Holy days when we stand in judgment before God that our deeds, both the good and the bad, are viewed by the Almighty and by ourselves at the end of our days. And the consequences of our visual record are at least as serious as what happened to Ray Rice when he failed to take note of the man-made camera in the elevator.
(10) Nancy, September 16, 2014 5:37 PM
There is one reason and one reason only that Ray Rice and men of his ilk batter. It is because they CAN. Can he change his behavior? Will he change his behavior? We just do not know. What would have happened if the general public had not seen the videotape? Also, someone asked what his girlfriend had said to him prior to the beating. Of course I have no idea what took place at that time. However, there is NO EXCUSE for what Ray Rice ultimately did. I agree with the Rabbi that we are all being watched, even though our lives are probably not so public. However, I really and truly question whether Mr. Rice is upset over hurting his wife or over the damage he has done to his career. In the words of another aish contributor, it is something to think about.
Shirlee Rosenthal, September 21, 2014 1:57 AM
Domestic violence
I agree this is terrible horrible is the choice word. My Mother is in a nursing and one the husbands of a resident told me his father said REAL MEN do not his women. What I do not understand is why his then fiancée married him. To me that was dumb. Shirlee
(9) Harry Pearle, September 16, 2014 3:03 PM
We All Get PUNCHED OUT Verbally, too (Listen UP)
There is not excuse for what Ray Rice did. But we do not know what his wife said to him at the time. There is also verbal abuse........We are all verbally abused, in life, But we also PUNCH people out, with word games and also with SILENCE........As a result the TRUTH is often lost to us. People say helpful things that are disregarded, because we ignore them...............If only we had a recording to play back with was said and what was said, we might all benefit and LIFT each other UP, rather than put each other DOWN... GoodYear
(8) Helen Borenstein, September 16, 2014 1:00 PM
Cameras not the problem
What Ray Rice did was truly abominable. He probably had no other way to express his frustrations, because that was probably the culture he grew up with. His then fiancée and now wife probably took it, because the money and fame were worth the abuse. At the same time, if he doesn't know any better, or cannot control himself, he has a problem. He is a fabulous football player, but is also an abuser. He has two separate issues. One positive one negative. Therefore, just as he practiced for hours to perfect his positive ability, so too he needs to practice for hours to overcome his negative issue. He has to be taught not to abuse, and to be taught other ways to deal with his rage. Unless, and until he receives a 100% rating from a professional person that he has been rehabilitated, he should not be allowed to play in the NFL. However, once he has redeemed himself to the satisfaction of all, why can't he have a second chance? I don't call what Ray Rice did a mistake. I call it not having the coping abilities to deal with his emotions, never having been taught,and never understanding the repercussions of his actions. Once he knows all this and will never revert to it, he should be reinstated, in however long it takes. But being just thrown out of the NFL really gives him no goal or chance or even reason to change, and the cycle will repeat. Aren't drug addicts allowed back such as many many actors who go to rehab, and have even spent time in jail, yet the public receives them because of their talent. The same should be true with Ray Rice.
(7) Ilbert, September 15, 2014 7:16 AM
The Tragedy of Spousal Abuse
Most abusers and the abused were abused as children. Most spouse beaters come from families where one spouse beat the other or they both beat each other. Note that use neutral words. I once lived with an uncle and aunt who had a weekly ritual of beating each up. What was missing? They were alcoholics and there did not seek spiritual guidance. We fail as a society to appreciate that children get scripts as children and those scripts control their lives as adults. Both the husband and wife need good therapy. Should the husband lose his livelihood. Definitely not. Employment, however, should be conditioned upon both spouses participating in counseling. Most football players come from tough lives and horrible neighborhoods. It took the Jews 40 years to get over slavery, they in fact had to die before the new generation was allowed to enter Israel. Perhaps the period would have been shorter if the Jews had a good therapist with which to consult. .
Anonymous, September 15, 2014 9:27 PM
Nicely said
Nicely dais
oyver un buttel, September 17, 2014 8:21 PM
baloney
blaming one's parents is the cheap way out
if the guy is a bully, if he beats up his girl friend, it's because he's a vilde chaya and doesn't belong in society
(6) Michael, September 15, 2014 4:57 AM
No Class...
The NFL and NBA are full of thugs and men without morals. The inner city kids look up to them and do not think a doctor, a soldier, police officer or firemen are hero or mentors.
These thugs make millions and people think they are
g ods ! Shame on these criminals and proplr should support youth sports with their $$$,
G-d bless Israel and all Jews of Israel and the world and keep them safe.
(5) Anonymous, September 15, 2014 12:47 AM
Unfortunately many battered women stay with their partners/husbands for many years. It doesnt mean he wont do it again, and if he does it again she might continue to stay. Sadly. For the battered women out there, there are so many people who love you and who will help you as soon as you are ready to get help.
(4) Nancy, September 14, 2014 6:44 PM
Only time will tell whether Ray Rice has in fact changed
His now wife said that he regrets what he did. Men who batter very often say "I'm sorry, it will never happen again." Guess what? It happens again! If Mr. Rice shows true remorse and a real willingness to change his behavior, then I will be more than happy to admit I was wrong in my judgment of him. We shall see.
(3) Dorothea, September 14, 2014 5:43 PM
Very profound article, it shows humans fear cameras more then God
I think on some level people feel better about their own transgression when they can throw stones at another. You should not be convicted of the same crime twice.
(2) Anonymous, September 14, 2014 4:09 PM
Nice article. Just for the sake of accuracy: he was cut from his team, which is permanent and was suspended from the NFL until further notice.
(1) Nancy, September 14, 2014 2:38 PM
Rabbi--Yes, of course we are ALL being recorded. However, Ray Rice is now being severely punished because the NFL doesn't want to lose any more $$. Also, I wish you had written about the fact that G-d never intended for a man to batter a woman within an inch of her life. I highly doubt this man (and I use the term VERY LOOSELY) has one iota of remorse for the act he has committed.
jack, September 14, 2014 4:32 PM
Nancy, how do you know?
Everybody condems what he did. And the Rabbi's point is important for all of us.
But how do you know, Nancy, that he hasn't repented. HIs girlfriend who he punched married him a month later. She has said that he regrets what he did.
Part of the message of this time of the year is that while we all make mistakes, we can all change.
Alan S., September 14, 2014 10:11 PM
Only Hashem judges...
While I do not know for certain -- and neither do you -- perhaps this man is remorseful for his crime. It isn't fair to speculate. Also, the Rabbi wrote about what he wrote. His article was obviously not meant to be a discourse on horrors of spousal abuse.
Luz Gomez, September 15, 2014 6:32 AM
Maybe he doesn't feel guilt or remorse, but I'm sure he regrets not controlling he's violent behavior after losing his career, and everything he worked for.