On my last birthday I turned 50. It wasn't as traumatic as I thought it would be, or at least no more traumatic than any other birthday since age 21. However, my employers at the company I had been working at for four years chose that day to notify me that – due to downsizing – I was fired.
Now I'm not the only person I know out of work. In this economic climate, the youngest baby boomers are not booming as well as they’d like to be. And what makes this all much more difficult? The fact that people are reluctant to hire employees over 35. This, despite the fact that mature employees are likely to be more loyal, more experienced (my 3-page CV is available upon request), more reliable, less distracted by career goals and the needs of a young family – and we've still got another 15-20 productive years before retirement.
But youth has always been highly prized in Western culture. No one over 25 has ever lied about his age by adding a few years. The billboards and magazines still promote images of youth and sensuality as goal and ideal. Ironically, many older people, in order to work, are now taking the kinds of jobs they had when they first joined the work force three decades ago (for unfortunately the same pay) because not a high enough value is placed on the maturity, experience and the wisdom that comes with age.
This idolizing of youth is in complete contrast to the way Judaism defines aging:
"A 40-year-old attains understanding, a 50-year-old can offer counsel, a 60-year-old attains seniority…" (Ethics of the Fathers)
Age is valued. Age is an advantage.
Judaism values age because it means the person has had more time to garner wisdom and life experience. Judaism obliges us to honor the aged by standing up when they enter a room, giving our seat to an elderly person on the bus, etc. Age counts for a lot more than marking the passing of another year.
If job opportunities and pay scales were Torah-based, older people would be the pick of the unemployment crop. Someone who had seniority wouldn't suddenly become devalued just because circumstances dictated that he switch jobs.
But employers are not the only ones guilty of age prejudice. A recent bus ride taught me that no place is safe from the pressures of aging.
"Do you want a senior’s ticket?" the driver innocently asked me.
"Senior’s ticket?" I all but shrieked. "Do I look 65 to you?"
"A senior's ticket starts at 60," he informed me.
Oh.
Over the next few days, I had to be assured by half a dozen people that I still look 40. But then it occurred to me: It doesn't matter whether I’m 50, 60 or 90 – we all look ancient to them! In Israel, where I live, 83 is the average lifespan for women (that means there are those who live longer). Moses took the Jews out of Egypt at age 80 and the biblical Miriam led the women in song at 86. I have another 30-plus years to go. So, Junior, who are you calling “Senior”?
“Senior” suggests that I should be sitting in a rocking chair.
Why was I so upset by the bus driver's faux pas and serious need for glasses? Because “senior age” implies that I look old instead of venerable; expendable instead of experienced. It suggests that I should be sitting in a rocking chair making out my will instead of looking for a job, a spouse or a new career.
From a Jewish perspective, aging is a source of pride, something worthy of honor.
Wine is the quintessential Jewish way to mark the passage of time – a bris, wedding canopy, holiday meals – because wine, like people, improves with age. We are judged when we leave this world at who we are when we finish our journey, not who we were when we were our most attractive, most energetic, or displayed our most potential.
Jews are people of the spirit and the mind – realms that are truly ageless. The body is just a vehicle to house them.
If that were the attitude today, I’d be thrilled every time a bus driver calls me “Senior.”
(11) chani, May 2, 2011 3:34 PM
I'm 52 and this article touched me deeply. We are a throw away, live for the minute society and thus the knowledge and understanding of we 50 year olds is not always properly disseminated. I'm no writer but the life experiences I have had created a depth that young people simply cannot see. I am certain the same holds for people of greater age and greater life experience. I pray that we as Jews value and learn from these "elders" and can spread this important value throughout the nations.
(10) Margie Frankel, January 27, 2011 3:40 PM
WeLove Older Men..and Women
I was just responding to Bob who said he's got no taker. I'm married to a very wonderful man. We're in our early 50's and even when we were in our later thirties, 80% of our friends were a lot older than us. We seem to be more compatible with the "older people" as they say. Why? because of "wisdom" . We always seek to learn and grow, and people our age (then) are focused on making money than growing spiritually. We still make money (we work hard), and we're still seeking wisdom, and at this age, we're sharing it to the younger ones. So our advise to the "seniors". Let's get out there, and share what we have learned. I'm sure there are younger ones who seek wisdom, like we did! Shalom!
(9) Dvirah, January 26, 2011 3:39 PM
Enjoying the View
I also will soon turn 50. Am I over the hill? You bet! - but beyond it is a valley, and beyond that another hill to climb. Also, standing on my hilltop I can look back to all the other hills I've climbed, and realize that they just get higher and higher - with correspondingly better views.
(8) Henry Wiltschek, January 24, 2011 10:02 PM
Junior Senior
You are as old as you feel. I'm only 78 and consider myself a " Junior " Senior, working pretty steady 6 days a week and drive all over the U.S. , also fly, but usually "just down the road" some 600- 800 miles with some stops in-between. I'm planning way ahead to expand our business for many years to come, but realistically on a day-to-day basis. There are countries that consider old " over 35 " for instance. They short change themselves and their economies. People with vast life-time trade and professional experiences can contribute greatly to society. And this line of thinking also keeps one " young " at heart, mind and spirit. We have a friend who at 104 still is very active, never misses going out to dinners, parties, dancing and looks younger than her 70 yr old daughter and has the set of legs to prove it. - Must be good genes.
(7) Anav Ben-Yehudah, January 24, 2011 5:21 PM
Ageism
Thank you for the timely article. I'm 51 myself,and I also feel the sting of not being hired. I'll be receiving my bachelors in Health Care Administration. According to the Perkei Avot, at the age of 50, you can offer counsel. I'm only sorry that our youth here in america doesn't think so. Especially when experience and torah go hand in hand.
(6) ALW, January 24, 2011 4:18 PM
job hunting lessons learned
In the metro DC area, JSSA (Jewish Social Service Agency) offers a wonderful jobs workshop. It marked -- or perhaps created -- a huge turning point in my job search (about a year). One tip off the top that I was told many years ago: a 3-page resume goes immediately into the circular file. This may not always be the case, but I'd recommend that you do whatever it takes to hone it down to 3 (readable) pages. (For perhaps you -- and other readers -- omit (or generalize) objective: it can serve only to limit you. If you're applying for a job, the person review the resume knows that is an "objective."
(5) Bob Hilliard, January 24, 2011 3:10 AM
You Are Just A Kid!
Rosally, You are just a kid! But then, anyone younger than me is just a kid. I'll be 84 in August and still going strong by helping nonprofits raise money. And am pretty good at it if I say so myself. Everyone loves my free seminars, but when it comes to hiring someone it is the younger person who gets the job. I console myself in knowing that Moses lived to be 120 and I'm working on it. I'm a widower now 6 years and all the ladies I might be interested in want a younger man. I keep telling them that I've got years of experience and still some spark left. I'm this side of the grass, vertical, not in a wheelchair, a full head of black hair, a great retirement heath plan that even has nursing home care and these should be good signs for them. But no takers! For my 81st birthday, my daughter said, "no big deal dad. Why don't we just go out to dinner?" And so we did. Walked into the restaurant and there were all my friends for a surprize birthday party. The hit gift of the evening was a sweatshirt with big black capital letters that said, S.O.B. Needless to say, I did a doubletake and everyone said, "look down below." And in much smaller letters it said, SWEET OLD BOB. I wear the sweatshirt everywhere I can and still no takers! What am I doing wrong> Any advice for an octogenarian? Thanks for listening. God Bless. Shalom Bob Huntington, CT
(4) Yehudit, January 24, 2011 1:00 AM
50 is still a KID
Good grief - 50 is still a KID ! When I turned 50 I was so busy I didn't realize my 50th birthday had come and gone. Or my 60th. In less than 4 months I'll be 70, and the word "retirement" is not in my vocabulary. I am now working at another job (I have had several in my life), as well as doing all the mitzvahs I can. My boss feels the same way I do about retirement. He started and developed a business, and finally at age 75 he gave it to his son. But he did NOT retire. He started and developed another business. He is now 95 and going strong - a real role model. I am his personal secretary in a fascinating real estate investment company. I agree with Chava - "No one can make you feel inferior (read "old") without your permission." Rosally, you have a long, long way to go - make it count! Best of everything!
(3) Alan S., January 23, 2011 10:22 PM
Excellent article. However, one sentence needs more fleshing out: "We are judged when we leave this world at who we are when we finish our journey...," Sounds good, but, I hope judgement is not rendered on the final length and breath of our days. Rather, I hope that we are judged at the end of our 'productive' journey, as a sum total of who and what we became, and not necessarily on what we ended up being. I say this thinking of all the seniors who go into either a mental or physical decline (and often both), some for many years before their passing, people who exist as just a shadow of their former selves. Hopefully, heavenly judgment will be rendered on what they've accomplished in their productive years, regardless of when those years came in their lifespan.
(2) SusanE, January 23, 2011 8:12 PM
Seems to be 3 General Life Stages.
First stage of our lives is about growing and being educated. At about 25 the second stage becomes about being independent, maturing, gaining experience and being productive. At about 50/55 the third stage is about having accomplishments, rearranging priorities, and looking forward to being more free with our time. Most have fufilled goals with families and carreers and earning power has leveled. Reproduction for women is ended. These ages are different for men.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Between 35 and 50 there is little change physically in ones appearance or abilities. Between 50 and 60 the changes can be great. Welcome to the beginning of the third stage of life.
(1) chava, January 23, 2011 4:23 PM
A senior bus ticket is HALF PRICE!
A senior bus ticket is HALF PRICE! I happily take it, along with the seat that the younger people always jump up and offer me. No one can make you feel inferior without your permission. Enjoy whatever age you are. It's all good.