I'm an avid user of Uber, the “modern taxi cab” in cities across North America.

Their app calls the closest Uber driver to your location. The drivers are people like you and me, using their own vehicles; most are moonlighting for extra money. There are thousands of people who are registered Uber drivers that get notices when there are available passengers nearby. Your credit card is already uploaded to the app so at no point do you need to take out cash or deal with swiping your credit card.

At a conference my friends and I were discussing how fantastic and convenient Uber is. One of my friends, Susan, started bragging that she has a five star rating on Uber. Baffled, I asked her what she meant. I knew that I was asked to rate the driver at the end of every ride but I hadn’t known that they rate me.

Apparently, Uber drivers rate their clients. Susan owes her five star rating to her $5 Starbucks gift cards that she keeps in her purse and hands out as “tips” to her drivers. We all looked up our Uber ratings and I was disappointed to see that I only have 4.4 stars.

Competitive by nature (not my best character trait!), I decided to find out how to up my score. I asked my next Uber driver how he rates his customers. “I don’t like to be disrespected,” he explained. “I’m your driver, I’m not your slave.” He also said he almost always gives his riders five stars because people are generally nice.

My friend Susan goes the extra mile with her Starbucks cards; she’s holding to a high standard. By and large these drivers are looking for the basic politeness and decency that every person deserves. Uber.com gives riders simple tips on scoring good ratings like: “Be on time and be respectful.” When you sign up for Uber, everyone starts off as a 5 and your poor character and unkind behavior bring you down.

It got me thinking about all the people in my life who are also quietly rating me. I'm getting "mental ratings" from the Starbucks barista who makes my cappuccinos, the Verizon customer service guy who is helping me with my bill, and the American Airlines stewardess (not sure if I want to know how I rate in all these cases!). Not to mention my co-workers and the people who live in my house. More importantly, the Almighty is rating me all the time. Every New Year He records our ratings and we hope to have enough “stars” to be written in the Book of Life.

There are times, of course, where we can't care about the 5-star rating. We can’t go around being people pleasers all the time. I know one Rabbi in Toronto who always says, “If nobody in my community likes me, I’m not doing my job, but if everyone likes me, I’m not doing my job.” Your children may not always be your number one fan when you discipline them, but you are doing it because you love them and want them to be the best people they can be. Parenthood is not a popularity contest, and neither is life.

I have a theory that my low Uber rating is due to one ride in DC when I gave my driver some dating advice. He happened to be a Jewish guy and I started up a conversation. He told me that he’s interested in getting married but hasn’t found the “right girl” just yet.

“What do you do full time?” I asked him.

“I work part-time for Southwest Airlines and part-time as an Uber driver. But for half the year I take off both jobs and go to Israel.”

“And what do you do while you are in Israel?” I inquired.

“Oh, I just lie on the beach.”

I saw that he was a great guy but I thought he needed some talking to. Even though the Talmud says that we should not give rebuke to people who will not be receptive, I felt I had a shot at this (looking back, I think I was wrong). “A quality girl doesn’t want a guy who works half the year as an Uber driver just to make enough money to lie on a beach for six months,” I explained. “If you want to marry a quality girl, you have to ask yourself, why would she want to marry me?”

I don’t know how receptive he was to my advice, and maybe that’s the reason for my lower Uber rating.

I’ve been working on myself to be more polite and less distracted on my phone during Uber rides and I am happy to report that my rating has gone up from a 4.4 to a 4.6. I also see it is spilling over into other relationships in my life. I’m not a 5 yet but thanks to Uber, I'm working on it.