Last week the Mississippi gubernatorial primary race catapulted to national attention when Republican candidate Robert Foster denied the request of reporter Larrison Campbell to ride along with him in his truck for a long day of campaigning – unless she brought a male colleague along.
Foster is a first-term Republican state representative vying to become his party’s nominee in the August 6 primary. He is also a 36-year old married religious Christian who follows the “Billy Graham rule,” named for the late Christian leader who never allowed himself to be secluded with a woman to whom he was not married. Recently, it has also become known as the “Mike Pence rule,” because the vice president also adheres to this boundary and has been widely criticized for it by feminists and others in the secular media.
Long before Billy Graham or Vice President Pence, the Torah forbade seclusions between men and women who are not married or otherwise closely related.
Long before Billy Graham or Vice President Pence, the Torah also forbade such seclusions between men and women who are not married, or otherwise closely related. These are part of the laws of yichud, which are designed to protect both men and women from potentially uncomfortable situations, unwanted advances, and the perception of impropriety.
Campbell, a political reporter for Mississippi Times, had previously interviewed Foster several times, and was the first to report his announcement to run for the primary. Last Tuesday, Campbell wrote in her paper about her denied request and Foster’s insistence that a male colleague was required for the 15-hour campaign trip “because they believed the optics of the candidate with a woman, even a working reporter, could be used in a smear campaign to insinuate an extramarital affair,” she wrote. “My editor and I agreed the request was sexist and an unnecessary use of resources given this reporter’s experience covering Mississippi politics.” Campbell offered to wear a Mississippi Today press badge in plain view at all times, but Foster still insisted on having the colleague along.
Foster’s ire about being shut out of the ride-along opportunity was echoed in many secular media circles: “Mississippi Gubernatorial Candidate's Condition for Female Reporter: Bring A Man,” read NPR’s headline. From the Chicago Tribune: “What it means when a Mississippi governor candidate sees a female reporter and thinks, ‘Sex scandal trap!”
Campbell has bristled at what she has called antiquated logic, “trapped in an era in which politics was primarily a male space and women were not perceived as professional equals. You're only going to assume that it's an improper relationship if, when you look at me, you don't see a woman doing her job, you see a woman who is a sexual object," she told NPR. Asking women to accommodate men who are uncomfortable with the situation was “deeply problematic," she added.
Defending his position, Foster told NPR, “I put my wife and my Christian beliefs above anyone else's feelings or opinions ... and I did not want there to be a perception that I was riding with another female and that something promiscuous was going on or anything like that."
In the #metoo era, it’s no longer only religious Christians and Jews who are choosing these boundaries. Women have made false accusations against men, causing irreparable damage to a man’s reputation. Notorious cases include a 2014 Rolling Stone story accusing University of Virginia fraternity members of a gang rape that never happened. Three Duke University members of the men’s lacrosse team were also falsely accused of rape.
As Winston Churchill famously said, “A lie travels halfway round the world before truth gets its pants on.”
Campbell has claimed that because the issue is really only one of Foster or another man viewing her as an object of temptation, it should be their problem to solve, not hers. But this misses the larger point. False accusations are real, as is Foster’s concern about potential political dirty tricks. In the brass knuckles game of politics, it’s all too easy to imagine such malign chicanery.
Foster answered some of Campbell’s charges by saying that he trusted himself, but not the perception of the world that might see things and then not ask questions or seek the truth. “Perception is reality in this world, and I don’t want to give anybody the opinion that I’m doing something that I should not be doing.” He also said it would be no problem working with female staff members by simply keeping the door open during such meetings.
The safest route, despite the potential inconveniences or annoyances, is to keep the door open during closed-door meetings, or have a third party in a situation.
When I was a very young journalist, I snagged an interview with a famous rock musician. It was an exciting coup for me because I had no previous track record covering music. I was a huge fan of this musician and couldn’t wait to meet him at the studio. But the day before the interview, I was told I’d be meeting him in his Beverly Hills hotel room instead. I thought this was odd and somehow not ideal, while my mother, of blessed memory, saw a photo of this very large and powerfully built man, simply blanched and warned me against it. The interview went well, and when I rose to leave, he hugged me. This was totally unexpected, and even though it was meant to be “friendly” and nothing more, I felt very uncomfortable. It’s the kind of situation that could become misunderstood.
There are no simple answers to complicated situations of men and women working together in private settings. The safest route, despite the potential inconveniences or annoyances, is to follow Jewish tradition and keep the door open during closed-door meetings, or have a third party in a situation such as Foster’s long truck ride-along.
As Foster concluded, “I put my faith and my religion above anyone else’s feelings . . . but I would much rather uphold my vows to my wife over anyone else.”
(19) Liora Jimenez, July 28, 2019 2:35 PM
Very Wise Position
Not only women should be careful of seeming impropriety but in this climate of the me to movement men had best be on guard at all times. All a woman has to do is accuse you and your life is ripped to shreds. And you hope that the truth comes out. It’s unfortunate but that is the reality we live in today. This female reporter is typical of feminists.
(18) Rena, July 19, 2019 7:07 AM
Not sexist
His request was not sexist, it was just what he thought was the best possible solution. I'm sure that he knew who was or wasn't available from his entourage and so let the reporter know that she would have to bring her own third party to the job that day. He never said he wouldn't speak with her or that he preferred a man to cover the story, just that he would not be alone with her. Any intelligent woman would feel respected and safer in this situation.
MESA, July 19, 2019 2:45 PM
If he had simply insisted on a third party being there, I would agree with you 1000%. But he specified that a male colleague had to be the third party. What could a male colleague do that a female colleague couldn't do? Or her mother? Or his wife? Specifying a male colleague only served to call his motives into question.
JOSHUA, July 19, 2019 10:50 PM
It's common sense
This is good practice for today's environment even for non-Jews. In the age of "women must be believed" despite a lack of evidence A MAN MUST BE CAREFUL THAT THERE SHOULD NEVER, EVER, BE A CREDIBLE POSSIBILITY that any impropriety happened. And guess what? I live that way and so does my wife and regardless of the fact that we are soul mates and have no doubts - by following H's laws there simply isn't an opportunity for the possibility of infidelity.
Below are the laws of Yichud that matter. Two men with one woman is safe. One man with two women isn't.
A woman may be alone with two kosher (i.e. tznius) men in the city and during the day. The reason is that the second man is an effective shomer, and the first man would be embarrassed to do anything improper in the presence of another man. However, at night (which includes the very early hours of the morning), or even during the day, if she is out of town on the road or in the countryside in a secluded place where there are few passersby, then three men must be present in order to permit Yichud.
Although halachically the Yichud of one woman with two kosher men is permitted, it is a middas chassidus to be stringent.
A man is forbidden to be in seclusion with two women (even if all three are kosher). The second woman is not considered an effective shomer
Yoni, July 21, 2019 2:48 AM
Character Assasination
After seeing how Judge Kavanaugh was lied about and reputation destroyed without a shred of evidence, why would anyone trust a liberal “reporter” or two female liberal “reporters”? Just imagine the headline “Conservative Republican Candidate Accused of Assulting Two Reporters”. And if the Kavanaugh hearings are any indication, the truth doesn’t really matter when taking down a prominent conservative republican. So yes, the safest route in today’s crazy society is to have a male colleague accompany her.
(17) Anonymous, July 19, 2019 3:39 AM
More honest reason for avoiding seclusion with the opposite sex.
It's not just about what other people might think. It's either a naive lack of self-knowledge or it's being dishonest to think one is immune to the powerful forces of passion. Our sages knew otherwise.
(16) P. J. Deneen, July 18, 2019 9:47 PM
Three Cheers for Robert Foster
Robert Foster's decision not to be alone with a woman who is not his wife is a sensible one. The scales are balanced against men these days, and too many in the media are willing to lie about those with whom they disagree in order to win an election. Ms. Campbell has evidently fallen for the Leftist view of the sexes, which erroneously assumes that women are just female men. Wake up and pay attention, Ms. Campbell! Men have to protect themselves against the anti-male bias of today's media.
(15) Abbe, July 17, 2019 5:00 PM
Truck
I think the request for a Male chaperon was great and kosher. No matter what faith a person believes in I think if the politician is married and a woman reporter wants to spend the day covering a story with him, yes a Male chaperone is honest and protects the polotician,journalist and chaperone from false accusations for all 3 people. It's refreshing that the politician respects his wife and will not be alone with any woman all day. This shows honor and respect for his marriage and for any office he may be running for. Sounds like a nice gentleman.
(14) E Wilson, July 17, 2019 5:05 AM
Would Her Reply Be Different, If She Was Interviewing:
Would her reply be different, If she was interviewing three well known religious figures, men of the cloth such as Jimmy Bakka, Jimmy Swaggart or Jimmy Jones of Guyana Fame.? Or would she turn up wearing full body armor and carrying an automatic? or maybe four friends and backup.
(13) Me, July 17, 2019 1:13 AM
Morally cleaner is better
It is heartening as a religous jew to see there are also christians with strong moral rules. If we have rules as against full seclusion or too much touching it can avoid misunderstandings and intentional bad behavior. It also keeps us more guarded from getting into difficult situations
Anonymous, July 17, 2019 5:28 AM
Christians are people of ''The Book '' too.
Mostly Protestant Christians don't just read and learn from the ''new testament. They must understand the Torah, the Prophets, Psalms,Proverbs and the rest of the books as well. It is a vastness of G-D's truth & knowledge! We owe the Jews a huge debt of gratitude on how to live morally & wisely. Kudos to the possible Mississippi Govenor, & V.P. Mike Pence for taking the high (right ) road!! Don't let '' political correctness '' keep us from doing what is pleasing to G-D !! P.S. most all Protestant Christians ( Evangelical ) are 100% behind and for Israel and the Jewish People everywhere, and are alarmed at the rise of anti-semitism. May the Lord G-D bless & protect you all. Amen!!
(12) lidia, July 16, 2019 8:31 PM
Right!
He is right. As a woman, I will not be offended because is my duty to protect somebody's else good name, too.
(11) Rachel, July 16, 2019 8:22 PM
As soon as I started hearing about all the false allegations, I knew things like this were going to occur.
(10) MESA, July 16, 2019 4:25 PM
I agree with the idea of avoiding any trouble by having third parties around. But I think it might have come off better if he had simply insisted on a third party. Why did he ask specifically for her to bring along a male colleague? Why not a female colleague? Or any woman for that matter? If the point is to also make her more comfortable and not afraid of any unwanted advances, then having another woman would make much more sense.
Nancy, July 17, 2019 10:37 AM
To commenter Mesa
You make a lot of sense. I think he WAS being sexist by asking her to bring a male colleague along. It also raises my hackles. Frankly I would have wanted to find my own transportation in that situation.
Liora, July 28, 2019 2:44 PM
Did you miss them?
There have been numerous instances of women lying about some men having behaved in an inappropriate manner with them. No he should not take two women with him anywhere. He is right take a man. In fact take two men. In this climate of lying women, that should be believed just because they’re women, he is wise to take heed.
MESA, July 17, 2019 12:39 PM
Also, if the point was to protect his marriage and to prevent the appearance of impropriety, then what could a male colleague do that a female colleague could not do? Or her own mother?
I have no objection to having a third party. I think it is safer no matter how un-PC it is. I just think that by specifying a male colleague as opposed to just asking for a third party only gave the PC police an excuse.
Yoni, July 18, 2019 2:10 AM
False allegations
After seeing the lies that where spread about Judge Kavanaugh, I would not trust this ultra left wing liberal reporter. She would have brought along another one of her female friends and they could have had a really juicy breaking news story. The republican conservative candidate assaulted TWO women reporters in his own truck! And who cares about the truth, when there’s smoke there’s fire! Maybe they would even be able to dredge something up from his high school yearbook...,
Anonymous, July 19, 2019 10:57 PM
MESA read my reply to your post above
The halalcha is that a man can be alone with a woman and another man because the other man would report impropriety.
A man cannot be alone with one woman or with two women. I presume this is because - historically - men can intimidate and dominate and frankly physically overpower and coerce women. Probably even two women.
Let's make no mistake - men are not by nature the gentle higher-order creatures we should be. We have to work on it. There are many rules in Judaism that separate the sexes. Not because women aren't worthy/holy/etc. QUITE the opposite. It's because of the men.
But even if I weren't religious and a recipient of this tremendous wisdom - if i were an atheist for example - I WOULD NEVER let there be a situation in which it would be a matter of he said she said.
(9) Miriam, July 16, 2019 4:09 PM
It's about the woman too!
What the article mentions (a bit in passing) that several commentors seem to be missing is that when a man says he won't be alone with a woman, it's just as much for her protection as it is for his! A man who sets this boundary for himself understands the male psyche, in that physical temptations can be hard to overcome; such a man leaves nothing to chance. If anything, it's sexist towards men! In reality, however, this is an example of keen self-awareness, and devotion to one's spouse. This does not need to be turned into an argument about religion or sexism. It's about self-awareness, setting and adhering to personal boundaries, and showing respect to others. I know these are qualities I admire.
(8) Anonymous, July 16, 2019 2:04 PM
IT did NOT have to be another REPORTER
If the only issue was to avoid the appearance of impropriety, then there were several different options available:
(1) Schedule it for a time when the candidate's WIFE could have been there
(2) Bring along another male who is NOT a reporter.
The specific approach taken here is one that DENIES a female reporter the opportunity for an "exclusive" story -- even while offering that opportunity to MALES. And, THAT does not appear to the a "Billy Grahm" rule (nor a Halacha, either) -- but simply a sexist approach that denies female reporters the same opportunities that MALE reporters get.
I find VERY offensive when "religion" is used to "justify" behavior that is strongly reflective of a sexist viewpoint. So, I can agree that the IDEA of "not being alone" with a different female is quite legitimate -- but look at the difference between V.P. Pence and this candidate. The V.P. stated that he wanted his WIFE along -- and that is just as effective as anything else in preventing a "problem" (and that is halachically proper, as well). this fellow stated that he wanted a REPORTER along -- denying this lady a clear journalistic opportunity -- and HIDING it under the "cloak" of religion -- and that is just plain WRONG!
Gary Colwill, July 16, 2019 2:38 PM
Everything is sexist I guess
This candidate (or anyone else) doesn't have to accomodate anyone in this capacity - he could have simply said no and left it at that. He doesn't have to go out of his way to make her job easier. If she wanted the interview, she could have brought a male - those were the terms. If she or her organization felt it important enough, she could have come up with the required resources. He doesn't have to provide his wife, and, who knows, maybe she has things of her own to do.
Further, as far as I'm concerned, it may not be a good idea for anyone of any gender to be alone with any one person nowadays, with such gender and sexual fluidity being the norm nowadays. Even a male can make unwanted advances on another male, and false accusations can also arise.
Further to that, I'd say one should NEVER be alone with any reporter or politician - because so many act dishonestly AS A RULE RATHER THAN AN EXCEPTION nowadays I wouldn't trust any of them (and sorry to those who don't act this way, but c'est la vie).
It's my instinct that she didn't want this "important story" in the first place; she just wanted to create the situation that occurred - easy story and no 12 hour day on the road. Just like that married couple that INSISTED that their cake be made by someone who would object to their marriage on religious grounds. They primary focus was not the wedding or the cake, in my opinion.
(7) Chris, July 16, 2019 1:48 PM
Other options
A very good point. However, could the candidate or the reporter just bring along another colleague, male or female? It does seem sexist to insist on having the reporter bring along a male associate.
(6) Ted Green, July 15, 2019 11:47 PM
Guilty?
When he first mentioned his position, thought for sure he either had something to hide. My belief is that anyone who makes this kind of statement will have already put himself in a compromising poison and knows he will do it again.
Nancy, July 16, 2019 10:41 AM
To commenter Ted Green
You have an interesting perspective on this situation.
Dvirah, July 18, 2019 4:09 PM
Lesson Learned
If he erred in the past, then he obviously learned an important lesson from it and doesn't want to make the same mistake again. It could be that he distrusts himself because of some past incident. But that makes his current stance all the more praiseworthy.
Anonymous, July 19, 2019 11:02 PM
Kafka wrote about that
A man protecting himself from the potential opportunity to have an improper encounter is now proof of guilt. Seriously G-d save us.
(5) Yoni, July 15, 2019 5:37 PM
“Progressive Thought”
Someone asks for an opportunity for a ride in your truck. You respond, sure come along just follow my rules however strange they may seem to you. The hitchhiker gets really upset about this. How dare he ask me to follow rules that I don’t like?!? I’m entitled to ride in his truck following MY OWN rules. This calls for a national story! How dare I be asked to follow rules when taking a ride in his truck?!? And the horror of it all, these are rules that actually help people stick to their morals!!!! How horrifying to be told to keep rules that may help you stick to your morals!
(4) Susan Lapin, July 15, 2019 4:52 PM
Thanks for sharing
I hadn't read about this, so thanks for sharing. I think men are in a no-win situation these days. On the other hand, it might have been more politic for him to have an aide of his own with him rather than put the onus on her.
(3) Nancy, July 15, 2019 11:35 AM
Choices
The journalist could have found an alternate method of transportation. I believe that good fences make good neighbors. Re: False accusations. We know they have been made, and I find them to be especially odious. They only serve to silence women who truly HAVE been assaulted.
(2) Tonna Chavez, July 15, 2019 11:04 AM
Common sense
I would think that this would be common sense, especially with the way of the world these days. This man is not only showing respect for his wife and their marriage he is actually showing respect for this journalist. Who is she to feel that she, the journalist requesting the ride along, should be able to set the terms for such a request? If she has an issue with his parameters, then she must not want the story as much as she claims she does. Instead of claiming sexism and feigning insult and anger with the governor, she should gracefully and respectfully acknowledge the respect he is giving her and applaud the respect and love he showing for his wife.
(1) H.E.Brown, July 15, 2019 10:41 AM
A rule to follow.
Excellent advice. It is an excellent rule for many other situations a person may find themselves in. Thanks for the reminder. It is hard for individuals ( male/female or female/male) to just be friends without someone thinking something is going on.