1. Your dignity and self-confidence are of utmost importance. Don’t accept the belief that you need to do absolutely anything and everything to meet the one. If something feels off or makes you uncomfortable, focus on other methods.
For example, you can tolerate blind dates but hate speed dating. Or someone tells you that you should move to another city because your current location is limiting – you don’t need to take such extreme measures unless it’s something that you actually wanted to do anyway. Some people find single events exciting while others find them awkward and it makes them unhappy to be there.
2. Use the same methods you would to find a job. Network, go to various events, talk to friends, coworkers, family, or use respectable dating apps. If you find online dating sites discouraging, don’t forget that you are only looking for one great match. It’s okay and normal if you feel like 99% of the matches you get don’t seem right because they’re not supposed to be! You can’t marry 100 people.
3. Feel relief that your soul mate is also looking for you; not all the pressure is on you. Nevertheless, take all the action that you can to help them find you.
4. Stop looking for special or romantic ways to meet. It’s better to meet the right one and build a romantic relationship than meeting someone on a flight to Paris and break up a month later.
5. Join a class that interests you. If you like to learn more about cooking, art, business, spirituality, relationships, science or any subject that you enjoy, you can get to meet people with similar values taking the same course.
6. Accept dates with people who are a little different than your type. You may be pleasantly surprised. If you meet someone and feel like they are 100% not for you, move on. If you see though that there is some potential, even if they don’t seem like your ideal, give it a few chances and you might find yourself really appreciating them. If not, tell them politely that it’s not a match and don’t drive them and yourself crazy finding excuses.
7. Make a list of everything you are looking for and then divide it into what you want versus what are for you absolute non-negotiables. Attaining this clarity will help eliminate options that are not appropriate to begin with.
8. Remember that quality always beats quantity. Don’t just accept any date because you were convinced that it’s ‘just going for a coffee.’ Screen the people you meet as much as you can, so you don’t get discouraged and hate dating because of too many disappointing experiences.
9. Don’t just pray to meet the one, pray for the welfare of that person that you are yet to meet! You will feel uplifted, connected to them and comforted even if you haven’t met them yet.
10. Don’t get overwhelmed by social pressure to pair up. Everyone has their time to meet the right one for them and it’s not a competition. Just like you joined a celebration for a friend, God-willing they will eventually join your celebration and in the future you will all join another friend’s celebration.
Cheers to you for a successful search!
(6) Anonymous, February 12, 2021 6:57 PM
Hi in the past I tried finding my place in Jewish community but quickly got discouraged and didn't want to associate with any Jews. I went on to do my own thing and recently thought that I am missing out and should make an effort to learn more. I don't know where to take it from here. Thank you for your great organisation, I enjoyed the classes when I was in Israel.
(5) Rachel, January 24, 2021 1:19 AM
No one understood what a guy and I saw in each other
He was “Computer guy”. I was “that crazy Theatre major”. No classes together. Different friends. He was quiet. I am outgoing. “It won’t last” said pretty much everyone. That was the fall semester of 1981. We married after graduation, in the fall of 1982. In 2022, G-d willing, we will celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. We will celebrate with our children and a son-in-Law, with 2 of my sisters, his brother, and his parents. My parents and another sister will not be there because they have passed on. We live in the sixth place we have called home. We miss our dog but may soon have another. We have been employed and not. I got a graduate degree. For awhile we both had great careers, then I became disabled. I am so happy that we ignored the sceptics and naysayers some 40 years ago.... The only person who has to marry your spouse is you.
(4) sandra farle, January 21, 2021 9:57 PM
soul mate
aish we are on lock down, but a nice jewish husband would be wonderful,
(3) Gideon Lapidus, January 21, 2021 9:14 PM
how to meet your soul mate
most men like to meet someone in person dating sites are taboo the pictures dont reflect the real woman. with speed dating at least its face to face so you can decide quickly.
(2) John Ballard, January 19, 2021 7:18 PM
Go against your "type"
I'm amazed so many people dismiss someone because he or she is not their type.If dating your type was working for you why are you still single? Also unless you are 100 percent certain someone is not for you on a first date,and you have some things in common like interests or values give them - and yourself- the chance of romance by agreeing to a second date.You may be pleasantly surprised!
(1) Michael Pearson, January 14, 2021 5:49 AM
Finding your soulmate
Genesis 12:11 Avram told his wife that she was beautiful. Jewish teaching is, this is the first time Avram saw his wife. This means that it's the first time in recorded history that Avram saw into his wife. If you meet someone that you believe God has created for you as the teaching is God creates two souls together in heaven then sends them down to earth. They will find each other if they are praying about it and serving God. When you find the one He has created for you God will allow you to see into their soul. You will see their heart and their spirit. Abraham saw Sarai inside and outside. the Hebrew word used here meant both. Yes, God will show you their soul. He showed me my wife's soul and yes she is beautiful inside also.