's Question of the Day

What is a greater pleasure: to love or be loved?

Please share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Comments (15)

(12) Judith, July 14, 2019 11:57 PM


You cannot only give love, also you have to received it. That is healthy because everyone of us needs love.

(11) Gershom, July 14, 2019 7:57 AM

For another two cents worth - ......

There are many - good - heart felt - responses - to the question - "What is a greater pleasure: to love or be loved?".

For another two cents worth - I'd like to also - look at it another way - and compare the question - to a garden.

IF - all the plants - vegetables - grass and flowers - in a garden - are nurtured and cared for - properly - with careful planting - watering - weeding out the bad weeds - and appropriate fertilizer - by some one - who truly cares.

The reward is that - as we carefully nurtured our garden of plants etc.. We will soon reap from the careful nurturing - an amazing array - of beautiful plants - healthy vegetables - velvety grass - and the blossoming of - a phenomenal flower palette of colors. Which will bring - joy - to the heart of the one who did the nurturing.

IF - we then apply - that same nurturing effort - to our life's garden - of G-D - spouse - children - family - friends and acquaintances. Imagine - the wonderful palette array - of color - and of love and life - that what we will be able to reap - from those we nurtured correctly.

(10) Mike, July 13, 2019 2:13 PM

Where there is light, there is also shadow

The opposite of love is not hate. It is indifference. Sometimes you need to move on and change, in order to help someone else to change. If you don't start by giving yourself you will find yourself on one of the other two sides. Too often we do not realize how much we are receiving whilst we are giving. Let's choose to be light. Through light we are able to chose and are able to respond, let's call that responsibility.

(9) Anonymous, July 11, 2019 11:04 PM

To love is best.

To love is joy. One can never be completely certain that one is loved, but the joy of loving is enough.

(8) tuala, July 11, 2019 9:39 PM

To love or be love is inside job.

(7) loreen, July 11, 2019 8:08 PM

understanding love

If you appreciate and understand what it is like to be loved then you understand how to love.

(6) Hadar Mehl, July 11, 2019 5:28 PM

give love

Giving love is most important.
When you give love unconditionally you will receive love in return

Gershom, July 11, 2019 7:36 PM

Realistically - this can happen - ......

Hadar - you wrote: "Giving love is most important.
When you give love unconditionally you will receive love in return."
Realistically - this can happen - in a well balanced - spiritually Torah run home.

Unfortunately - All too often - that sounds nice - in theory - and in writing. And - I wish it were always true.

However - I can tell you as a former counselor - that's not always the case. The Psychological ails - from my many clients - can testify to that.

There have also been responses to Aish questions - where responders - have related that - that's far from the truth.

Ask - as well - the Abused children - and even abused spouses (male/female) - who gave unconditional love. But - that have had to pulled out of their situation. Because - they received not love - but in some cases - severe abuse.

(5) Avrom Aaron levy, July 11, 2019 4:52 PM


It is best to Love than to be Loved! To love is to reach out. To be Loved is to reach inward!

(4) Michael J Roberts, July 11, 2019 3:35 PM


Everyone wants to be loved, but showing love and giving love is the best of all.

(3) Norman Simon, July 11, 2019 1:55 PM

To Love is the Greater Pleasure

It is a selfless act to love others, where as to be loved is more egoistic though certainly pleasurable.

(2) Raymond, July 11, 2019 1:23 PM

To Know Know Know Him Is to Love Love Love Him

I realize that the more noble answer to give to this question is that to love gives more pleasure than being loved. However, I have a very passive nature, watching things happen rather than making things happen, and thus I have to say in all honesty that I would rather be loved than love, and in being loved, I would then naturally respond by loving whoever loves me. For me, however, to take the initiative in this whole process, is frankly too exhausting for me to both initiate and maintain.

Gershom, July 12, 2019 8:33 AM

Take another look at what you've responded - ......

Raymond - You've posted a lot on Aish. And - you've expressed yourself in many ways - how life has treated you.

Take another look at what you've responded - to past questions - as well as - this question. Then - compare it - to your PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP - with G-D.

G-D - often appears to be providing you - with blessings - which you seem to love getting.
But - if you are too exhausted - or not willing - to either initiate some love toward the G-D who blesses you. Or - maintain it - afterwards. This - certainly causes you to lose the strength - in your relationship with G-D - and or - other people.
Sort of like - a person who never - or will not exercise - and when the strength needed - doesn't have the energy - to accomplish - what they want - or - need to do.

Yet - as soon as you do - G-D - will most likely - grinning from ear to ear - to not only receive from you. But also - to again - and again - give to you.

(1) Gershom, July 11, 2019 11:56 AM

So it is with ..

What is a greater pleasure: to love or be loved?

A coin - isn't - ONE SIDED - it has two sides. So - No matter which side comes up - when you flip it. It still is the same coin.

So it is with giving love - and being loved. You need both - to have a true balance of love - in your life.

Mira, July 11, 2019 3:28 PM


Beautiful answer. That’s how it is.


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