She comes to our door for breakfast or dinner or for an afternoon snack. On blustery nights she sleeps in our playroom. She comes with shoes and dresses to sell while she waits for a Hollywood director to pick up her screenplay. She sings to my children and warns them of the monsters loose in the neighborhood. Her name is Shaindel. She's schizophrenic and homeless -- and a fellow Jew.
I can't say I always welcome her knock on the door -- we had to tell her that midnight is a little late to ring our bell! And sometimes I get annoyed when she disdains our orange juice because it isn't fresh enough. But I owe her a debt of gratitude for opening up the hearts of our whole family.
While we can't cure schizophrenia, we can make her feel loved.
While we can't cure schizophrenia, we can make her feel loved. She knows just what families to go to for food or showers and sometimes calls to make a "reservation" for our back room. She's a testimony to the power of community. I don't think that there were many psychiatric hospitals in pre-war Poland but I believe every shtetl took responsibility to feed, clothe and shelter the mentally ill in their midst.
Shaindel doesn't want the risks to her physical health and the numbing of her psyche that come with most pharmaceutical interventions for the schizophrenic. She runs away and doesn't come back for months if we mention the "d" word – doctor. She'd rather be out on the street. -- laughing and dancing.
And laugh she does. Frequently at herself. If you poke gentle fun at some of her strange stories, she can see the humor. Sometimes contact with reality helps bring her back also.
Late on a Friday night, Shaindel knocked on our door. We didn't have any room for her to stay over. After a few minutes we heard our car door slam and my husband and I Iooked at each other. "I guess she's gone to sleep in the car. Leave her be."
A while later, she left the car briefly and our neighbors' dog began to bark. They called the police and our sleep was interrupted yet again. The police had dragged the hapless Shaindel out of the car and were standing at our front door.
"Did you give this woman permission to sleep in your car?" they asked.
Not wanting her to get in trouble with the law, my husband said yes. "Well then give her a blanket. It's cold!" admonished the officer. Shaindel doubled over with laughter.
There have also been poignant moments. Shaindel scratched herself on a rusty nail and was concerned it may have broken the skin. We went to a private room in my house and I examined her. Thank God, she was fine. But I wasn't. I realized to my embarrassment, that previously she had not been quite real to me. She had been an interesting phenomenon, like the way some of our Shabbos guests look at us, but not quite a full human being. Until that moment -- when I saw her tremendous fear and felt her palpable relief. When I saw my own shallowness.
She can still frustrate me at times, like when she gives a very specific lunch order. I don't always have the patience to listen to her stories -- she has intimate knowledge of suspicious FBI workings on our block. But I'm always grateful to her for teaching my children and me about true love for your fellow Jew.
Tradition has it that Elijah the Prophet disguises himself and goes from door to door helping us refine our character and providing opportunities for genuine giving. When I first I helped out Shaindel I thought to myself, "What if she's really Elijah? I better not turn her away." Now I help her out just because she's someone I care about. Just because she's in need. Just because my kids love her. Just because I know I'm blessed to have the opportunity.
(10) Kathy, January 16, 2013 2:30 AM
Sparking kindness
You set an example for us all to copy. G-d bless you a nd your special friend!
(9) wendy levites, February 25, 2002 12:00 AM
I will go through my life and try and emulate your kindness.
What a lesson you are giving to your children. They'll never forget what they have learned and will be better people for it.
(8) Rich Finkel, February 14, 2002 12:00 AM
Mone than one beautiful soul
Emuna Braverman and her family have beautiful souls. Thank you very much for this lesson. While giving money, and even donating time to organizations is important; being personally involved in the life of a person in need it a great mitzvah.
(7) Deinya Mautz, February 6, 2002 12:00 AM
Living Interdependence
My profession brings me into contact with an endless variety of personages. The real test of humanity is what happens on the doorstep of our homes. We are all interdependent whether or not we "walk in the Light" in the same way. While allowing people to choose treatment or not is occasionally painful, as long as life is not in eminent danger, the choice should remain open. Those of us who society considers to be "well adjusted" need to appreciate the gifts presented to us by others no matter what their path.
(6) sonia dobb, February 6, 2002 12:00 AM
A very touching Story
You are doing a great Mitzva. may Hashem reward you & your family with a lot of Nachas & health, Sonia
(5) Michel Gagne, February 5, 2002 12:00 AM
You make my day! Thank you very much...
One of my best friend is schizophrenic and we have great time together studying God words.
(4) Yehuda, February 5, 2002 12:00 AM
Are there any dangers to you or your children
There are stories about people who are seriously mentally ill who push people in front of subways, etc. Are you at all concerned for you or the children in the event that in her delusion she could do something harmful to herself or to you. And also, I understand she does not want to be treated by doctors, but isn't it true that there are certain medications that could possibly help her to function normally. Don't we have a responsibility to offer medical treatment to a sick person. Are we allowed to let a sick person go on being sick if we have in our power the ability to do something for the sick person? Please advise.
(3) Chana Heller, February 5, 2002 12:00 AM
you are an inspiration to us all!
(2) Anonymous, February 4, 2002 12:00 AM
great article. h
This is a very good story. I have known people who are schizophrenic. This article shows that if people, who are schizophrenic, have support from the community, it makes it easier for their needs( food, shelter etc) to be met. I especially liked the section of the article which states that "Shaindel does not want the risks to her physical health that come with most pharmaceutical interventions for the schizophrenic". I believe that people that are schizophrenic should be allowed to make their own decisions, as to whether they should receive any type of psychiatric treatment, or not.
(1) Anniteh Shatz (Zahne), February 3, 2002 12:00 AM
Dealing with people who have mental health issues is an opportunity to explore the pain they must be experiencing. Mental Health Units have social workers who frequent the streets to help people like Shaindel. In spite of her challenges she may become a productive individual working in a soup kitchen or shelter. There are solutions with the right approach. Explore the possibilities for her. Bless you for taking the time to help her.