All Jewish parents recognize the importance of education. We agonize over acceptance to the right school. We push for the preferred teacher. We try to pick good friends. We attempt to manage the food eaten, snacks traded and time spent at physical exercise. We encourage extracurricular activities -- sports, dance, art or music -- as well as character-building and enhancing volunteer experiences. Not to mention the efforts allocated to developing our young child's social skills en route to that all-important goal of popularity.
After all, we want our children to be well-rounded, don't we? And it's all in our power, isn't it?
Dr. Mel Levine, professor of pediatrics at the University of North Carolina Medical School and the director of the university's Clinical Center for the Study of Development and Learning, suggest in his book, "A Mind at a Time," that being well-rounded is neither an appropriate nor useful goal. I suggest in addition to this that our ability to shape our children is limited. We can't affect all-round personality change and certainly not neurological change. We can fine tune, we can offer some tools, we can provide (hopefully) a good example, and we can pray.
Being well-rounded is not particularly useful because most careers require specialization (except perhaps parenting itself!). Even family doctors are meant to specialize in the unique dynamics of the family unit. As society moves towards an ever greater degree of specialization, we continue to pressure our children to be well-rounded. Not only does that certainly not have any application career-wise, I'm not sure it does in any area of life -- except perhaps cocktail party chatter (and the aforementioned parenting, particularly the "help your kids with their homework" variety). As far as I'm concerned, being well-rounded academically has about as much use in today's world as cursive writing skills (which reminds me of a note I want to send to my son's teacher!).
But there is a deeper, more troubling issue here. After all, given the time, talent, and energy, one could argue that school is not solely a vocational training ground and that there are intellectual and psychological benefits of a diversified education and broad knowledge. There is some truth to this idea but it flies in the face of the King Solomon's admonition to "Educate each child according to his way" as well as recent psychological and neurological research.
Everyone has learning differences. There is no such thing as the perfect mind. Some of these differences are crippling, some are not. Some can easily be compensated for, some cannot. But regardless of how bright a child is, his mind can't do everything. There are some skills that come easier than others. There are some skills that are extraordinary and there are some that are nonexistent. Some children have terrific, almost photographic memories. Some freeze at the sight of their spelling list. Some children excel at creative writing, their expansive imaginations running wild as they win multiple story contests. This same youngster may need constant tutoring in math just to get a passing grade. Some children have difficulty being motivated (you can't start them!) and some are driven overachievers (you can't stop them!).
The variety is endless, and in the hardwiring. We, as parents, relatives, friends and educators, need to appreciate this. In our crowded and busy classrooms it is frequently difficult for the teacher to follow King Solomon's precept.
In our crowded and busy homes, the reality is often the same. How can teachers or parents provide custom-designed education for each and every child?
I don't believe they can; I know I sure can't. But I think there are a few important things we can do.
1. The first step is awareness. Recognize that our children, like ourselves, are imperfect with tremendous fluctuations in learning skills and abilities. This is not a willful choice but the way the Almighty has created us.
2. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Most of us lead with our strengths and downplay our weaknesses. Yet our school-age children frequently get limited appreciation for their strengths -- 'how many other children got A's?' -- and only pressure to improve their weaknesses -- 'if you would only try harder...' Where the hardwiring is faulty, trying harder makes no difference other than to deepen the sense of failure. Maximize praise and reward your child's strengths.
Don't make moral judgments about particular qualities. To have a good memory doesn't make you a good person.
3. Don't make moral judgments about particular qualities. To have a good memory doesn't make you a good person. As Dr. Levine repeatedly points out, rote memory is all-important in school and almost never needed in adult life. Having a poor memory doesn't diminish your value as a human being (although it is good to try to remember what your wife just told you!) It's not "good" to be athletic and "bad" to be a little clumsy. It's not "good" to be a math whiz and "bad" to stumble over fractions. Our children have been given exactly the qualities the Almighty wants them to have, exactly the tools they need to succeed in life.
4. This doesn't mean there's no room for improvement. It means that change should occur slowly, in small steps, with compassion and understanding about the very real limitations.
We all want the best for our children. But a wise parent recognizes that a preconceived notion of what's best won't fly. It takes real understanding of who this particular human being is – with their specific and complex neurological makeup – to help them figure out how to succeed. And memorizing multiplication tables is not the only measure of success.
We need the schools to work with us, not against us. We need to be our children's advocates and their support. And we need to pray, no beg, that the Almighty should help us.
(25) Sarah Rivka :), May 19, 2014 12:40 AM
I completely agree with this article!
I actually don't think I had a well-rounded experience in school. Academics were all-important and things like music were relegated to once a week. I think really the top priority for a child depends on the individual child.
I would like to know: What do you think about homeschooling? In some ways it seems like the best way to ensure that a child learns according to his/her way but it doesn't seem to be accepted so much....
(24) Anonymous, May 24, 2006 12:00 AM
Education and Empathy
In my experience and understanding, the ability to learn and assimilate new information requires some basis, some context from which to build. Although I am far from a genius, studying and having at least some understanding in multiple fields has been a great benefit; it is much easier to empathise with others if you can understand what it is they do, and what goes in to doing it. In general, people seem to find it easier to communicate with and open up to those who have similar experiences or knowledge-sets. Without both the ability to learn and at least some range of data from which to interpret and build, not only does one's empathy and understanding for one's fellow beings suffer, but one also loses countless opportunities to appreciate G-d's work at different levels. Cf. Pirkei Avot 2:19 and the life of Maimonides, the Vilna Gaon, and other great scholars.
What is the specialisation of a teacher? What is the specialisation of a programmer? What is the specialisation of a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer, a writer, a librarian, or a manager? What is the specialisation of a mother or father?
All of these roles require broad ranges of skills. understanding, and knowledge (especially the last two!) and what may be required or needed at any time is not predeterminable by us. The broader the range of experiences and information available, the more likely it is to be able to understand what to do in a situation. This applies to matters of Halacha as well.
I believe that the problem isn't "well-roundedness", but rather the lack of connection in how material is presented by many teachers. It seems that in the secular arts a solid, general framework to which many things can adhere is sorely lacking. This applies to within an "area", not just between "areas".
In artificial intelligence, there is a theory which states that it is impossible to learn something that you don't already mostly know. With neither a sense that things can fit together (and should) nor a framework to fit information into, no-one can be expected to understand anything; at best they can perform rote memorisation and give a cookbook solution. (This particularly applies to children. "Why? Why? But... ") Memorisation without context or perceivable benefit leads to the destruction or suppression of curiousity, analysis, and creativity, without which learning becomes not only unrewarding, but impossible.
(23) Katherine, May 4, 2006 12:00 AM
I agree with aliza
I agree that "well-rounded" means to be exposed to a variety of things. I feel that is a vital part of schooling for young children because they don't know at what they may excel. Depending on their home environment, they may have never been exposed, or had very limited exposure, to some subjects.
I'm amused you mentioned poetry because that was a subject the majority of kids in my classes hated, yet I usually enjoyed it. It depended on the poems we studied and the enthusiasm of the teacher. Those are the greatest factors of how much a child can get out of any class, even at the university level.
(22) Remedy Hawke, May 4, 2006 12:00 AM
How do you type a raspberry????
I say to you "pllphththsfpht!!!!!" with all the spray my saliva can work up! Learning many different things has helped me and my children to survive. If I had only one or two skills, we would've starved to death and been broken apart a long time ago.
(21) aliza, May 2, 2006 12:00 AM
confusing the issue
I think the author is confusing "well-rounded" with "forced learning." I understand well-rounded to mean being exposed to various aspects of culture and learning: art, writing, poetry, music, crafts, math, geometry, language, literature, etc. Well-rounded does not mean forcing children to be good at all subjects or ridiculing children for not being "good enough" in the subjects we adults think they should be good in.
I'm not a huge fan of poetry, nor do I like trying to write poetry, but I am thankful for the opportunity to study poetry and to learn about various poets. I am not an artist, nor do I wish to be one, but I have learned what I appreciate in an art piece and quite enjoy what pieces I have. I also recognize how algebra and geometry affect my life, even though I am neither a mathematician nor an architect.
Single-focused, highly specialized students are missing out on the different kinds of beauty that Gd has created for us. I'm also finding that highly specialized students are not learning how to think "outside the box" - if a situation comes up that requires creative thinking, they tend to get stumped if it wasn't something specifically addressed in their learning.
(20) Georgie Sandor Baumann, April 30, 2006 12:00 AM
This article is waking me up.
Some times I push my children,study,study.be somebody.My eldest daughter just finishing her master degree in pharmacy,I very proud of her.Biy I did the mistake to put on pressure on my son,who not as academic ,but have other gifts.Thanks your artickle,my eye is open,and as you sad .Almighty give every body much talent as they need.I wish read this artickle earlyer.Shalom
(19) Anonymous, April 27, 2006 12:00 AM
The article is a eye opener for me and I belive for most of the parents around the world as well.
As usual; every article - you publish has a very beautiful message sent across.
God Bless
(18) malka e, April 27, 2006 12:00 AM
so what can we do? the idea is terrific but in reality children still need to know the basics, foundations of things and there can't be a school of each specialization + yeshiva can there?
(17) Jody, April 26, 2006 12:00 AM
I absolutely LOVE the article though, still reading it...
I have a son, who is an low achiever, not driven, has 134 IQ, a touch of dyslexia (at 13 he still has to think if his las name is written Reeb or Reed, also reverses number 9 & letter P.)
He has dysgraphia, loves ice hockey, wake boarding, yet has fine motor deficits ...
Jody
(16) Edna, April 26, 2006 12:00 AM
Education vs career training
I agree that children & teens should not be pushed hard in every subject. However, not making available subjects that they may find fulfilling--and which at least will make them aware of subjects toward which they don't gravitate -- is not the answer.
I found it surprising that the author didn't address the amount of Judaic/ Hebrew subjects that kids are expected to study in our day schools. For girls, in particular, I don't see the point in pushing those with little aptitude in being able to read Rashi in Hebrew or explicate Mishnah. Similarly, I don't know of any day schools that encourage sports, the arts, or practical classes (auto shop, cooking, child development) to the same extent as they do "academic" classes, be they secular or Judaic.
As for long-term career training: I've read that some medical schools are starting to mandate humanities credits for our future doctors; in law school I took a very helpful accounting class; many students in pure sciences are now clamoring for some business courses, etc. And what the author calls cocktail party chatter is what many of us call networking opportunities.
(15) Tova Saul, April 26, 2006 12:00 AM
math dunce
If only Emuna had been my school principal. I wouldn't have had to waste stultifying months of my young life with Algebra II and Trigonometry (to this day, I wonder what is a quadratic polynomial for? And a cosine?)
As long as we're on the subject, kids don't have to disect an animal to know whether they are intersted in going into medicine, as so many people claim.
(14) Dr. Judah Weller, April 26, 2006 12:00 AM
All KInds of Minds - Jewish Day "Schools Attuned"
Thank you once again for highlighting "All Kinds of Minds" and its wonderful melding with the philosophy of "Educating each child according to his way." You are absolutely right in that we need our schools to work with us in meeting this lofty and vital goal. Practically speaking, P'TACH (NY) and Etta Israel (LA) have collaborated with the All Kinds of Minds organization to bring the Schools Attuned© program to Yeshivot and Day Schools. Schools Attuned© is a program that teaches the All Kinds of Minds philosophy through an intensive 35 hour, staff development program for regular classroom teachers. Since 2002 P'TACH has been instrumental in training over 500 Jewish educators from the NY area in a specially designed Jewish Day "Schools Attuned program. The results have been overwhelmingly positive and has translated into making areal difference for thousands of children.
(13) Richard Allen, April 25, 2006 12:00 AM
Relying on God's wisdom and support is
not recommended by school teachers and
counselors in public schools. I welcome
you into my home and heart. RA
(12) Gottliebe, April 25, 2006 12:00 AM
There seems to be confusion
There seems to be confusion
Your comment on this article:
There seems to be confusion that not harping on a child's weaknesses means that we shouldn't expose them to things.
Saying that we shouldn't push a child into mastering the violin when he/she isn't musically inclined, isn't the same as saying they shouldn't be exposed.
My eldest daughter currently attends a Jewish day school. Next year we will return to homeschooling. We have tried public school, homeschool, and private school. More often than not, because of institutional policies and procedures, and a schools' deep desire to produce fantastic test takers, my childs' strengths are taken for granted and her weaknesses are focused on.
We prefer to use that same energy to make sure that she is functional in her weakness and excels in her strengths. We can only do that at home. We believe that this is the best way to ensure that our children find their individual destinies...the reason that HaShem created them.
They will be exposed to a lot. But I am not beating my science buff over the head with unending music lessons.
I think the article speaks to the new direction that education is taking. It is inevitable. I think parents are starting to realize that institutions can not replace parental attention and involvement. I look forward to seeing what happens as we parents actually start seeing our children.
(11) reuvenbleich, April 24, 2006 12:00 AM
very relevent
very good, as usual
(10) Leah Bourne, April 24, 2006 12:00 AM
if only...
It's nice to see that someone else has noticed that children are not interchangeable parts - and yet that is exactly the industrial model that public schools are founded upon. It is also why American students are 19th out of the top 21 industrialized nations in educational achievement k-12. Parents need to be able to select schools that fit their child's learning styles, strengths, weaknesses, etc, and the family's philosophical and religious beliefs. Only then can a child reach their full potential - when their needs are being met and they aren't being pulled between conflicting ideologies their immature minds are not able to handle yet. In other words, it's time to dismantle the one-size-fits-all government run public school system and give every parent vouchers so that regardless of low income, they have the ability to choose an appropriate private school(s) for their children (after all, even children in the same family can have vastly different learning styles and interests). Only then will anything change.
(9) Lauryn, April 24, 2006 12:00 AM
How will they know their special skills and passions?
If children are not exposed to a little bit of a lot of things, how will they know what they are best at and what they have the most passion for?
By the way, why is "cursive writing" so useless? I don't agree. Many of us learn to write in print when we are very young, and retain quirks or messiness of letters because our hand is simply accustomed to writing them in the way we first wrote. When we learn cursive, we are older, and more capable of training our hand in this new writing style with more neatness, accuracy, and grace.
(8) shoshana, April 23, 2006 12:00 AM
Bravo.
so, so true.
(7) Anne, April 23, 2006 12:00 AM
Some added thoughts
Very intersting article. Yes,a Jewish parent and early Childhood teacher these are my comments:I agree especially that with our children " we must seek a real understanding of who this particular human being is - with their specific and complex neurological makeup - to help them figure out how to succeed". Present day research says there is really no separation between nature and nuture ....one depends on the other to develop that particular human being. We must give our children a well rounded childhood experience They must experiences the riches of the world that Hashem has made in multiple ways. This is how we learn about our children and their needs, loves, sensitivities, dislikes,their triumphs and their hardships etc......in early childhood especially experience gives them the tools to build theirlearning and their lives They must have a genuinely Jewish environment. And although they do need to become more and more "specialized" as we support them in who they are and in what they need.....and we must informed them of the world in general we must inform with Jewish eyes to be able to navigate this world and as parents and educators we guide them, they guide us......as they grow they will spread their own unique wings , with their heritage to guide them and a loving relationship to Hashem to give sustain and give them purpose. a general education, a "liberal arts education "has its intrinsic value and specializing does not need to be exclusive of everything else.
(6) Bill Josephs, April 23, 2006 12:00 AM
Worrisome
Thank you, Rabbitsen for your article on limiting children's education.
The worrisome part is that first you neglect of definition of "children." Some women refer to their sons and daughters as their children, well into the "child's" fifties.
Assuming you mean under age 18, it appears that you would disagree with the aphorism above the proscenium arch at UCLA's Royce Hall, which states "Education is learning to use the tools the race has found to be indispensable." Ignoranct Talmud students, who do not know their multiplication tables or human history goes against everything HaRav Cook taught about the responsiblities of Jews in their modern communities.
Ignorance is bliss, so it is said; however among Jews, especially Orthopractic, it is an albatross (a metaphor you would not understand if you are unread in American Literature)and a shanda. Please think more than twice when you argue for selective ignorance in a world society as complex as ours and that requires leaders from all corners of the earth, especially Jewish.
(5) Tracey S., April 23, 2006 12:00 AM
Well Rounded
I think the author misunderstands the term "well-rounded." It doesn't mean one has to be great in all things, but to have at least a passing knowledge of them. How boring we would all be if we only studied or did the very one thing we are good at.
For example, a relative is home schooling her sons. She and her husband are excellent in math and science, and taught the boys what they know. As these young men are entering their young adulthood, this is all they know and know well. Literature, art, and music took such a back seat to their more technical education that they have a hard time in social situations and are quite often miserable. (One recently entered a part-time high school and desperately wants to quit because he can find no place to fit in. He says he cannot relate to any of the other boys.)
My own child went to a public school, and while she wasn't burning up the highway in all subjects, we encouraged her to do the best she could in them. Today, she is an excellent writer, a lover of the arts and music, and while she cannot build a space station, she still has an appreciation for those who can and the effort that goes into it. (Her best friend is a biology major, but he also loves the arts.) My daughter is comfortable in the world, can deal with many kinds of personalities, and is happy. I don't think that would've happened if I forced her to only focus on what she did well.
I think I prefer my child to be "well-rounded" than retrictively "square."
(4) Chana Levi, April 23, 2006 12:00 AM
Pushy vs. encouraging parents
I completely agree with this article. Unlike many (most?) Jewish parents, we never pressured or forced our kids academically, just cheerfully encouraged them to do their best and it didn't matter to us that Sara or Ari got all A's on their report cards, we cared only that our kids competed with themselves and did their personal best. We always focused on their positive, not negative, abilities. Now they are grown and successful adults, B"H so we must have done something right. In fact, our almost 18 year old daughter who is now finishing high school, recently expressed her appreciation to us for always encouraging her but not being pushy, like so many of her friends' parents. As a former day school teacher for many years, I saw many of my students suffer from their parents' negative attitude: ("You only got 90% on that test, why didn't you get 100%?") Sadly, and to their parents' chagrin, many of them are now insecure, unsuccessful adults.
(3) SarahRachel, April 23, 2006 12:00 AM
Finally I Agree With Emuna!
Finally, something we can agree on. However, sad to say, I found it useless to try to implement the changes Emuna speaks about. The teachers didn't listen, didn't care, or gave me intent nods and smiles, but kept on doing what they were previously doing. Schools (public or private) are not there to cater to each individual child's needs, but to move the whole group up and out in the most efficient manner possible while still retaining federal and state funding. There ARE exceptional teachers to be found -- I found one in my daughter's 3rd grade. However, she left to get married, and that was that.
The only way to have what Emuna is speaking about is homeschooling. You parents are the ONLY ones who have your own child's individual learning styles and capabilities in mind -- most teachers don't, or can't. Socialization is not a problem with homeschooling whatsoever. There are many, many activities homeschooled children can join, from sports to music classes and anything in between. Plus playtime with their friends who come home after school and come out to play. This way most of the herd mentality is learned about as an observer first, and the tools are created beforehand to deal with it when it does become necessary. Homeschooled children are some of the most individuated children in our society (while quite understanding their need to be a part of the klal in positive ways), and they are not so much given to peer pressure. This doesn't mean that homeschooled children never learn how to handle these things -- they do. We have ample opportunity to observe behaviours in public and private school children and discuss what brings those children to think and act in the ways they do, what kind of peer pressures are involved, current "fads" in schools such as saying something vicious to another child in order to tear that child down, and then adding "just kidding". This is just one of the latest fads sweeping the nation's schools, and it devastates the victims (and dehumanizes the perpetrator). Our kids are well aware of that fad and have experienced it by other children at playtime outside. Our kids responded by saying "That's not a joke, and it's hurtful, stupid, and meant to be cruel. You are making yourself like an animal when you say things like that, and shows you can't think for yourself. I don't accept such ridiculous nonsense aimed at me or anyone else here." (or words to that effect - yes, I actually heard my son say that.) After saying that (and meaning it) a few times it actually stuck, and that type of thing has ceased in our neighborhood among the kids outside. Homeschooled children are strong in their individuality, well educated befitting each child's learning style, and socialized with the right kind of socialization rather than being thrown into a negative herd mentalitity before they are given the tools with which to understand and deal with these things. What more could you ask for? You're not going to get that in public or private school. Parents say, "Oh I am so busy with my own activities" or "I have to work", etc. as reasons not to homeschool their children. Fine, then don't complain about the conditions in schools. Teachers and classrooms are not set up for this kind of individuating, and never will be. Teachers who do try usually end up burned out and becoming just another cog in the system. There are exceptions, few and far between, and not consistent from grade to grade.
Financially, most homeschooling families sacrifice a GREAT deal -- we couldn't afford a vehicle for many years. We didn't have "the latest" in clothing and footwear (like we care) or anything else. Most parents today aren't willing to make those kinds of sacrifices, when it comes down to it. It's a choice. Your children's educational and social well-being, or make more money? And I haven't even covered the topic of being able to teach your children the Jewish morals and values that you hold dear, on a daily basis, as an underlying foundation of their entire education whether the topic be mathematics or Torah study.
(2) Sondra Gottesman, April 23, 2006 12:00 AM
Great!
Wonderful article. For years we have all been talking about the "seven different kinds of intelligence." It has always been easier to accept when you are the teacher rather than the parent. Thanks for saying it so well to parents and grandparents!
(1) Moshe, April 23, 2006 12:00 AM
Well rounded education to help find strengths
A good friend of mine is mentoring a child who spent most of his education in an inner city school. The mentor is academically one of the most well-rounded individuals I know, and developed specialization in his post-graduate work. His student thus far has not had a well-rounded education and was not exposed to much beyond the basic reading, writing and arithmetic classes taught at his schools.
With the encouragement of the mentor, the student has been exposed to more subjects including economics, history, and art. He had never heard of economics prior to the mentor relationship and is going to take an AP class next year in the very subject! He is now planning a career in econ or business. Without the encouragement to get a well-rounded education, this student would not have that door available to his future career. The author is quite correct that specialization is needed for the job market, but a general level of knowledge in a variety of subjects is a useful foundation.
The author is also correct that parents should be cognizant of children's strengths and weaknesses, but they should also encourage as much content in a student's education as possible, working with them to improve areas of weakness instead of just avoiding them. Students mediocre in math for example need not avoid careers in business -- the use of spreadsheet software requires an understanding of math, but not multiplication tables. Some students may in fact not be able to handle all subjects, and some may be capable but need to be nudged to challenge themselves. The parents are obligated to look honestly at their children and discover what they need to suceed.
Hashem does provide us the necessary tools in our lives, but sometimes those tools have to be developed. Parents can help in that development.