Ever since Erma Bombeck wrote her classic book, “Everything I Know about Animal Behavior I Learned in Loehmann’s Dressing Room”, I have been updating the title in my mind. I could have learned it on the freeways in Los Angeles, I could have learned it in the line at Costco, I certainly could have learned it at the DMV and it suggests one of the reasons that Toys ‘R Us went bankrupt!
Based on my experience yesterday, I’ve added a new player to the list.
There is a new candidate for bringing out the worst in my fellow human beings: “Everything I Know about Animal Behavior I Learned at the Apple Store”! It’s not that the staff wasn’t unfailingly polite; they were. It’s not they weren’t organized; they were. It’s not that they were unfair; they weren’t.
We seem to have lost all ability to wait our turn and any semblance of patience.
Nevertheless we seem to have lost all ability to wait our turn and any semblance of patience. We seem to be oblivious to the existence of others in the store, others whose needs (or at the very least) time slot may trump ours and, despite all the opportunities on our iphones, ipads or any other iproduct that was the reason for our entry to the store, we seem to have lost all ability to entertain ourselves.
The Apple store I visited was actually in the middle of a large shopping mall. The staff courteously entered my name onto their appointment list and not only gave me a time slot but offered to text me when I was next in line so that I wasn’t forced to sit, aimless and bored (we’ll get to that in a moment) in the store. With unexpected time on my hands and about 100 stores facing me, I was able to successfully put a dent in our bank balance as I (patiently!) waited my turn.
My desire to shop was limited so I returned to the store ahead of my appointment, prepared to reply to some emails, send a few others and read a book on my Kindle. I was neither bored nor aimless and really only unsure about which activity to focus on.
But my ability to concentrate was limited by the noise and activity of my fellow customers, mostly by their moaning and groaning and complaining, by their fidgeting in their seats, by their loud sighs of frustration, by their constant approaches to the sales staff. It reminded me of traveling with small children whose constant refrain is “Are we there yet?”
Not content to keep their kvetching to themselves, some customers began to loudly complain. “I’ve been waiting for an hour and a half!” demanded one. “That’s because you came two hours before your appointment,” a store assistant calmly explained. “Can’t you just check this for me?” begged another (code for “Can’t you take me out of turn?”) “Why don’t you have more staff?” grumbled yet another discontented visitor, amidst a sea of red-shirted employees.
Meanwhile I marveled. And I was sad. With more opportunities than ever to keep ourselves entertained, almost everyone in the store was at a loss. They weren’t playing games, they weren’t reading, they weren’t sitting and introspecting. It was time completely wasted. I imagine the same people complain that they never get a minute to themselves, that they don’t have time to breathe etc. Yet when that time is actually there, they are unprepared to take advantage of it.
But equally troubling as the wasted time was the abject lack of patience and inability to bear the slightest frustration. I was amazed by their sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations.
Patience is an essential quality for almost everything important in life, particularly relationships and character building. Based on what I witnessed yesterday, I’m concerned it’s becoming a rare commodity.
Many years ago, a friend of mine was waiting for delivery of a prescription from the pharmacy. This was way back in the day when there were local pharmacies that made home deliveries. Frustrated by the pharmacy’s slow response, she kept calling to ask where her medication was. When it finally arrived, there was a little note inside the bag alongside the prescription. It read “Patience is a virtue.” Perhaps they should put that sign on the wall in the Apple store.
(13) Deborah, January 13, 2019 3:05 PM
An Insightful Article
I often kvetch in line, although I do this internally. Even so, time should always be spent productively and patience is indeed a virtue.
(12) Don, January 10, 2019 7:03 AM
To The Impatient Entitled Customers -
I love this article. I see this behavior constantly in retail stores and other places and I think to myself don’t these people realize how lucky they are to even have the luxury to be waiting at an Apple Store for a product that most other people in Third World countries could never even dream of having or affording. There are people in other countries that wait in line for three days to get clean drinking water and a small amount of food. We are so spoiled and entitled in the United States that we forget our humanity. We forget to be kind and polite and respectfu towards others. We’ve just become too selfish. Why don’t those people waiting in line complaining use the time to call their loved ones and tell them how much they appreciate them? Why don’t they use that time to reflect on how blessed they are in their small little world? Why don’t they use the time to say thank you and show gratitude for how blessed they are? It’s because they’re so self absorbed they’ve forgotten the blessings that they have. What a shame.
(11) Anonymous, January 2, 2019 9:09 PM
Shared this article everywhere I could
Retail abuse is a very real thing. And humans ever inflated sense of entitlement and self importance is only getting worse. The adult temper tantrum is becoming so common it doesn’t faze people anymore. No one likes being yelled at. I have seen customers scream in the faces of retail employees because they were slightly inconvenienced or because I coupon doesn’t work with a store promotion. Then that same retail representative is expected to shrug it off, put a smile back on their face and give the next customer 110%. Imagine this happening all day long. I worked in retail for more than 20 years. Working with the public can be awful. The challenge is large corporations like Apple rarely look at what happens in their retail stores. They push new products and services while cutting the workforce and expect the same amount of customer assistance. Last week, while at Justice (a children’s clothing store) a woman was screaming on the top of her lungs at the girl behind the counter. Her problem? The coupon she wanted to use didn’t work with the store promotion. This woman was oblivious to the 12 people waiting behind her in line. She just wanted to use her coupon. After about 5 minutes, I finally stepped in, told her she was acting like a spoiled child and needed to leave the cashier alone. The workers have to take the abuse, I didn’t. She stormed off and didn’t make her purchase. I made sure I apologized to the worker for the previous woman’s temper tantrum. I think if more people would speak up and tell unruly customers that abuse is not ok.... things would get better. Until then, I always make sure to thank those who are trying to help, even if the answer is not what I expected.
(10) Tova Saul, December 24, 2018 1:02 PM
The greatest cruelties in the world ....
....against people and animals are committed by people, not animals. Please do not use the term "animals" to describe poor human behavior. People already make their lives into living nightmares of agony.
(9) Joey, December 19, 2018 3:56 PM
"...despite all the opportunities on our iphones, ipads or any other iproduct that was the reason for our entry to the store, we seem to have lost all ability to entertain ourselves."
Maybe that was the problem―their phones weren't working, so now they had no idea what to do with themselves!
God bless.
Kay, December 23, 2018 12:33 PM
With a store filled with computers, iPhones and iPads? Lol They even have interactive walls. People choose to be miserable.
(8) Anonymous, December 18, 2018 8:46 PM
Another side to the waiting game story
Worth remembering, there can be a wholly different aspect to waiting. Sometimes people are unaccountably stuck past their appointesd times or in examination room for long periods without explanation. Or there is no clear order in which those waiting are seen by a doctor, sales rep, repair technician or whatever. At a certain point, anyone in those circumstances is justified in asking what's the hangup and in expecting more than a rude brushoff. Yes, courtesy and respect are always in order, but at a certain point patience can become less a virtue than an unwritten sign saying, "go ahead, make me wait longer and longer without telling me why." The people inside the counter need to show some rachmones/compassion, too.
(7) Emil Friedman, December 18, 2018 7:22 PM
Perhaps we should not call it "animal behavior"
Many horses and dogs behave better than humans.
Tova Saul, December 25, 2018 2:21 AM
exactly
And not just dogs and horses
(6) Anonymous, December 18, 2018 6:43 PM
Craziness in the Apple Store
This article is so appropriate because yesterday I attempted to an Apple Store in a mall in Boca Raton, Florida. I got the shock of my life. First, it was completely impossible for me to find the Apple store. I had to go through Macy's from beginning to end, in order to go outside, and then again inside a different mall, to reach Apple, which was still hard to find. When I finally got to the store, I had no idea, that I would need an appointment. to see a 'specialist.' The only appointment was Sunday, two days before the Holiday. I can only imagine what kind of bedlam there will be then. The noise level was unbelievable. I could barely understand what one of the 'specialists,' was trying to say. I dread this appointment almost as much as I dread going to the dentist.
(5) Anonymous, December 18, 2018 6:17 PM
The most positive things you can do in that situation is model the appropriate way to wait, and thank the Apple employees for keeping cool- that can’t be easy.
(4) sharona, December 18, 2018 10:17 AM
I would go do something else, and come back later. Or play with my phone. I agree, people need to learn how to deal.
(3) H.E.Brown, December 18, 2018 7:29 AM
Animal behavior.
Right on. Gets scary out there. That's one God had to teach me. Being patient. I don't think I became obtuse but needed to slow down. I think especially today it is getting worse. Driving a car is especially dangerous as you all know. I was flipped off recently, and I'm not sure why.. Don't know what the answer is.
(2) Alan S., December 17, 2018 1:32 AM
Excellent observations Rebbitzen.
For eons, people have forgotten how to be nice as well as patient. It seems that everyone gets on everyone else's nerves. Our expectations are not only unrealistic, but are surpassed only by our inflated egos. Our perception is that our time or our needs are always more important than the next guys.
We all need to realize that our time or our needs or our concerns are not more important than someone else. A little humility is necessary for everyone to get along.
Animals may not behave well at Loehman's or at Apple, but Loehman's and Apple sell to humans only.
(1) Nancy, December 16, 2018 3:03 PM
Patience certainly IS a virtue.....
It is alas not one of my strong suits. :-( However, there is a difference between being impatient with a slow booting computer and a store employee who will not service you ahead of someone else. I get very frustrated when my computer boots slowly. Re: The Apple Store. I too would have checked out other stores in the mall until my appointment time came up. Finally, I don't really believe this is a new problem. It is just a worsening one. :-(