An oxygen machine hums in the foyer of the large apartment. To the right is a bedroom, softly lit, with four beds spread expansively along the walls. I peek in at them -- four young girls, deep in the comforts of slumber. "Naomi is five!" reads a colorful sign on the wall. Each of these girls are a miracle of sorts -- all faced abandonment by their birth parents due to their disabilities but were rescued from an unknown fate by the unconditional love of Yael and Jim Putney.
In the cozy living room, conversation flows easily between us. It is precisely this easygoing atmosphere that enabled Jim and Yael to accomplish the improbable --adopting four special needs Jewish children and bringing them to blossom in the Land of Israel. The four girls -- five-year-old twins Abby and Becca, five-year-old Naomi, and three-year-old Ahuva Dina -- are all affected with a variety of health issues including Prader-Willi Syndrome, cerebral palsy, pulmonary problems, and developmental disabilities. The oxygen tank in the hallway is just one of several interventions in the Putney medical "arsenal" which their unique circumstances warrant. But from their relaxed attitudes it seems that this is a couple who takes in stride everything they encounter.
"Instead of buying a yacht, we adopted four kids."
Yael jokes that she's on her third motherhood'.. The couple met and married ten years ago, bringing together four and five children, respectively, from previous marriages. He does legal marketing writing and research for a company in Florida. She works the night shift as a technical writer and director of technical documentation for a software company, also in Florida. While most couples in a similar, later stage of life are exploring retirement options, the Putneys are interviewing kindergarten teachers. "Instead of buying a yacht, we adopted four kids," quips Jim.
"Jim always says if you're doing things for the right reasons, everything falls into place," Yael quotes whole-heartedly. Yael had always dreamt of adopting a child, despite successfully raising five of her own. Jim admits to never having entertained such dreams. He was, however, struck by a letter he received from the principal of a yeshiva in their hometown of Miami Beach, Florida which described the plight of several Jewish children who were desperately awaiting adoptive and foster families. Before the memorandum, Jim never even knew that such a strong need existed. This eye-opener, combined with Yael's innate idealism, led the couple to sign up for an eight-week training course from JAFCO (Jewish Adoptive and Foster Care Options) to find out what adoption was all about.
The course was designed to be hard-hitting and realistic, describing in great detail exactly what adoptive and foster parents could bargain for. Although the positives were described wonderfully, the drawbacks were significant and no attempt was made to gloss things over.
The Putneys were an anomaly -- both in the course training and in their approach to adoption in general. While most adoption candidates were incapable of having their own biological children, Jim and Yael were experienced and fulfilled parents. Their motive was purely altruistic, and they set out with absolutely no preconceived expectations of who their potential adoptee would be.
In addition to seeking a child in Florida, the Putneys also filled out a sobering questionnaire with a rabbi in Denver who places Jewish children with adoptive Jewish parents. "Would you adopt a child who might die?" they were asked, and "What level of disability could you handle?"
The call came in on the night before Jim and Yael were scheduled to fly to Israel for a visit. There was a baby in Palm Beach County whose birth parents were interested in giving her up for adoption. The baby's exact health issues were not fully known yet. Would they like to meet the birth father?
Yael describes her conversation with the birth father as very painful. He was emotionally torn between wanting to keep and raise his daughter while faced with the deep-down realization that he and his wife were incapable of meeting the unique requirements of a special-needs child. After the emotional roller-coaster came to its slow finish, the verdict was clear: the birth parents decided to give over their six-week-old daughter to the Putneys. The legalities and details were worked out, and Naomi joined the family.
Yael and Jim are open about adopting -- with family and friends, and with the girls themselves. When Naomi became their own, the Putneys sent out birth announcements. The gaiety and joy, however, was marred by the reality of the situation: Naomi was in the NICU on a feeding tube due to a syndrome which inhibits the sucking reflex. After her release from the hospital, Yael painstakingly fed her with a syringe; two ounces of formula took a full hour to ingest.
Shortly afterwards, the clan grew to accommodate twins Abby and Becca, adopted at ages 14 and 17 months respectively. As with Naomi, health issues were a given but the can-do attitude prevailed. It was a little while before they got another call: Another baby was available. Would they adopt a fourth child?
They have been forced to reassess the question: "Would you adopt a child who might die?"
Ahuva Dina recently entered the Putney family, after an exhaustive legal proceeding, and her medical issues have given them a real run for their money. The ten hospital stays she's experienced in the past year are draining, especially now that the nearest hospital is forty minutes from their home! And although Yael and Jim had answered "No" to the question of "Would you adopt a child who might die?" their youngest daughter's medical situation has since forced them to reassess.
There were challenges and concerns, to be sure. Initially, the concern was figuring out exactly what their new daughters' issues were and how best to address them. Many doctors' visits, phone calls, and research came into play in that arena. Additionally, the Putneys needed to figure out how to enter the US Social Services system, a labyrinth of bureaucracy, red tape, and even more research.
Perhaps the most ongoing challenge is the sheer physical energy necessary to get four young girls through a normal day and night. When they lived in Miami Beach, the couple's older daughters helped out, especially in taking the girls to their numerous doctors' appointments. Now that they've relocated to Israel, help is scarcer and their week is comprised mostly of doctors' visits. The Putneys have enlisted full-time household help since bringing Naomi home -- a necessity rather than a luxury; if someone else is doing dishes and laundry, Yael is free to care for the girls. The day-to-day routine is hectic, as can be imagined.
After careful consideration, the couple opted to make aliyah to Israel. Their considerations in undertaking the big move factored in the advantages of the social services offered here. In their experience, most of the services they received in the United States are being met or surpassed in Israel. They receive a monthly stipend that takes into account their multiple children with special needs, and their daughter with cerebral palsy will likely qualify for a mobility grant which will allow them to buy a car. The socialized medical system has been very convenient -- while doctors' appointments were sometimes impossible to obtain on short notice in the States, in Israel same-day appointments are almost always available.
Like delicate flowers turned toward the sunlight, the four girls have thrived and blossomed since their adoption. Their health issues have improved greatly, to the point that one of the girls will be mainstreamed in school next year, while two others are on the verge of being mainstreamed as well. They are being nurtured by the unique energy that permeates their unique family -- a beautiful blend of love, compassion, relaxed zest for life, and dreams for a brighter future. Says Yael, "We've learned that while we can't save the world, we can make our little piece of the world better."
(35) L.S., August 1, 2010 9:00 AM
May I help out somehow?
Wow, what an amazing story! What tzadikkim! These girls are so lucky to have such wonderful parents to care for them. Where in Israel does this couple live? I live in Tel Aviv right now...if this couple needs help with (free!) babysitting/mother's helper on occasion, I would love to help out! Aish may disclose to them my e-mail address. May Hashem bless these wonderful people and their special girls!
(34) myna, August 17, 2007 10:22 PM
i think the putneys are true heroes
its really hard finding good people who are willing to give any thing for four beautiful children u are a blessed couple.
(33) Cassandra, August 13, 2007 11:00 AM
Wow!! The Putneys used to welcome me into their home for shabbat and other events when I lived in Miami despite all the work they had going on raising all these great kids!! Now I also moved to Israel recently and would love to see them again and give them a hand if they need it!! Please email me CassandraBullens@gmail.com
What a wonderful family!!!
(32) Doris Feinstein, August 10, 2007 5:56 PM
Amazing couple
I am just in awe of your chesed. May
Hashem continue to give you the koach
to do the tremendous chesed. The love
and caring you exude surely will one day
secure at l20 olam habah.
Sincerely,
Doris Feinstein
(31) Leeat, August 10, 2007 11:42 AM
OMG!!!
I hardly go on Aish. But for some reason I went online today And saw My former History Highschool teacher, Mr. Putney right on smack of the home page! Yashar Koach to him! He and his wife, and whole family are really amazing people.
(30) Rai, August 10, 2007 9:07 AM
Priorities
It's people like this that remind me what is important in life. My problems become dwarfed and I focus in on the reality that we are here not to satisfy our own desires but to be of service to Gd.
(29) Abaraham Liverant, August 9, 2007 6:35 PM
If there is a way i can help , let me know , I have no words to describe the feeling i have reading the amazing things that people like the Putney's do , G.d bless them .
(28) Orly Gasner, August 9, 2007 6:26 PM
a fantastic family
I was lucky enough to have to opportunity to not only meet but hang out with The Putney family two afternnons a week this past year while I was learning in Bet Shemesh. They are some of the most special people I have ever met and have influenced me and inspired me i ways they will never know.
(27) Anonymous, August 9, 2007 5:05 PM
Mr & Mrs Putney- You give me chizuk!
I read and reread this article. As the birth mother of four daughters with disabilities (we B"H have more than that number of healthy children as well!), I know what is entailed in raising children with disabilities. In addition to the physical work entailed, the heart takes a very heavy (much heavier) load.
There is no doubt that Hakodosh Baruch Hu will repay the Putney's many times. over.
(26) Anonymous, August 9, 2007 6:57 AM
What special people! Very inspirirng.
(25) Anonymous, August 8, 2007 10:37 AM
kol hakavod!!!!!!!!
(24) Yael Putney, August 8, 2007 10:32 AM
To Inspired: Adoption?
You asked how to find Jewish children who need homes. The first point of contact is Jewish Children's Adoption Network. Contact Steve and Vicki Krause.
Address: P.O. Box 147016 Denver CO 80214-7016
Phone: 303-573-8113
E-mail address: jcan@qwest.net
(23) Julius Watler, August 7, 2007 6:39 PM
Thanks! I neded that.
The success story is wonderful. One or more of these special children would not be here if not for this special coupe. B"H for them.
(22) Goldie Klein, August 7, 2007 12:39 PM
What unbelievable 'mesiras nefesh'..inspiring...beautiufl.
Really an inspirational story of selflessness and ahavas Yisroel.
So impressive. Hashem will reward them
amply BSD.
(21) Alanah Karpen, August 7, 2007 9:14 AM
All life is beautiful and these precious girls are proof of it along with their adoptive parents!
I work with special needs children K-12 and to see articles that show the love, care and devotion to life period is a real blessing. I pray that more of us would do likewise.
(20) Dalia Larson, August 6, 2007 7:28 PM
Wonderful article about a wonderful family that I have the honor of knowing from Miami Beach!
(19) Holly Gross, August 6, 2007 7:25 PM
Yael and Jim Putney are truly special people!
I was privileged to know Yael and Jim Putney when they lived in Miami Beach. They are truly special people! I witnessed the love and attention they showered on their special needs babies who thrived in their care. It is wonderful to see them shine in Eretz Yisroel.
(18) Chana Levi, August 6, 2007 2:42 PM
Inspiring story
What a beautiful, inspiring story. "Adopting one child may not change the world but it will change the world for that one child." And the Putneys have changed the world for four special little girls. My husband and I are also planning to start a second family through adoption now that our first batch has grown and flown. But we will adopt two healthy children, not special needs. However we are concerned that our friends and family will think we are crazy to start over again at this stage of our lives. I will point to the Putneys as our inspiration!
(17) Inspired, August 6, 2007 12:57 PM
Adoption?
How does one go about finding Jewish children that need to be adopted?
(16) sara mergi, August 6, 2007 12:04 PM
hello mr putney. sara mergi here, your former student (miami)
Hello mr putney, how are you? I just read this article and was truly inspired. I wanted u to know that all of us down in miami truly miss you and are very happy that you'r move to eretz yisrael was succesful for u and your family. Hatzlacha raba and please keep in touch.
-you'r former student,
sara mergi
(15) Beth, August 6, 2007 11:46 AM
Delightful!
What a lovely, inspiring article and what wonderful, thoughtful people! Those little girls are absolutely beautiful and I pray that Jim and Yael are as blessed by their children as their children are by them.
(14) Mark, August 6, 2007 6:19 AM
Overwhelming
I am totally overwhelmed by the radiant beauty of these neshomos, parent and children alike. Tavo alayhem beracha kefulah u'meshuleshet
(13) Yael Putney, August 5, 2007 11:08 PM
To Alyza: What about education?
On the contrary, Israel's equivalent to IDEA is the Equal Rights for People with Disabilities. While we do pay a small amount for extra therapy, the excellent schools the girls attend are free. The irya (city) and the kupah (literally "community fund" or health plan) in some combination (depending on the age and disability of the child) provide the funds.
(12) Ruby G., August 5, 2007 9:34 PM
totally inspiring
BS"D
A beautiful story of doing G-d's work.
May Hashem continue to give you the strength you need. And may you have nachas from your children.
(11) Chayaesther, August 5, 2007 5:06 PM
Truly inspirational! Oh, if only there were more Putney's in the world.
(10) Sharon, August 5, 2007 3:53 PM
Fantastic
This was a fantastic article. May there be many more families willing to adopt at least one special child and provide the love and care that is so despratetly needed. I wish I could.
(9) Sarita, August 5, 2007 2:39 PM
This couple is really increacible.
I am most impressed by this couple who, instead of enjoying their well-deserved rest from children decides to start all over again, undertaking such a heavy load.
(8) Robert Tzall, August 5, 2007 12:40 PM
Kiddush Hashem
I lived in Florida where I met the Putneys and my relationship continues with them in Eretz Yisroel. I will personally attest to their chessed and warmth. The world needs more Yidden like the Putneys.
(7) Anonymous, August 5, 2007 12:29 PM
an example to all
in this age of in vitro and surrogate mothers i hope that more people follow the putney family's lead. so many children languish in orphanages with no love in their lives.
i have a condition that will make conceiving children very difficult. if and when i get married i hope that my husband will see adoption as our best option rather than spending the time and money trying to conceive.
i doubt i could be as amazing as the putneys and adopt special needs children but i hope that i will be able to become a parent to several of the far too many orphans out there.
hopefully this story will help inspire others to follow the putneys' footsteps.
(6) Helen, August 5, 2007 10:25 AM
I dreamed about adoption
This story is beautiful and speaks my heart. Some weeks ago I dreamed that I moved to Israel and adopted a jewish girl of 10 years. It was a very touching dream.
May G-d bless the Putney family!
(5) Renee, August 5, 2007 9:32 AM
Touching.....
Many blessings to the Putney's!!!!
They are doing a wonderful thing.
(4) shani, August 5, 2007 8:09 AM
powerful people - G-dly act !
I AM FROM FLORIDA AND I KNOW THE PUTNEYS. THIS ACT OF KINDESS AND RIGHTEOUSNESS HAS BEEN PERSONALLY (AND I KNOW COMMUNILY AS WELL) UPLIFTING AND INSPIRING! MAY HASHEM KEEP SHOWERING THEM WITH ENDLESS STRENGTH AND BLESSING!
(3) Alyza, August 5, 2007 7:47 AM
What about education?
I recently heard that there is nothing along the lines of IDEA here in the US in Israel to guarantee free, public education to those with special needs. How are the children going to be educated so they reach whatever their potential is there?
(2) Ilana, August 5, 2007 6:22 AM
What beautiful people.....
Baruch Hashem there are people like Yael and Jim who do their little bit to make the world a better place for some little people who really needed a loving home.
They should have much nachus from their family!!
(1) Jacob, August 5, 2007 5:28 AM
Beautiful!
We need more stories like this! Hashem should bless Yael and Jim, their family and all who know them with every possible blessing. They are an inspiration.